Attending Services at Non-Catholic Christian Congregations

[obvious_ron]

Has anyone else benefitted from not only attending mass, but also regularly attending services at non-Catholic churches? I’m preparing to enter into a mixed marriage. While I benefit from the mass in general and the Eucharist more specifically, I also find value at my fiancée’s Wesleyan church: The practical advice given in the pastor’s sermons, the close knit community are the two things that benefit me the most.

 

[pianistclare]

Their beliefs are at odds with Catholicism. Confusion never benefits anyone. Think hard.
What is it you want to accomplish?
Not asking you to share here, just take a hard look at what they espouse. You owe it to yourself if you profess to be Catholic.

 

[ltwin]

Their beliefs are at odds with Catholicism. Confusion never benefits anyone. Think hard.

What is it you want to accomplish?

Not asking you to share here, just take a hard look at what they espouse. You owe it to yourself if you profess to be Catholic.

If he’s entering a mixed marriage, he can’t very much expect his future spouse to attend Catholic services if he’s unwilling to attend Wesleyan services.

 

[pianistclare]

Becuase they likely think they can co-worship.
When chidren enter the picture, this will become a full blown problem. Stay tuned.

 

[USAFwife]

I don’t see how attending both is practical. Do you both go to each other’s services in the same weekend? Are you getting married in the Catholic Church?

 

[Kei]

Wesley finds the Eucharist merely symbolic and not the point of Mass, instead making the point about humans instead of God.
Be careful mate.

Edit: @PickyPicky, I confused him with Zwingli for some reason. Not used to hearing Wesleyan as a denomination. Around here we have Methodist churches, I don’t know if that is the same thing. But be still denies the whole truth of the Eucharist.

 

[PickyPicky]

Are you sure of that? I thought Wesley believed in the real (spiritual?) presence.

 

[WesArm]

It seems Wesley affirmed the real/spiritual presence but rejected transubstantiation (see first quote)

[N]o such change of the bread into the body of Christ can be inferred from his words, “This is my body.” […] [T]hat they are not to be taken literally is manifest form the words of St. Paul, who calls it bread, not only before, but likewise after, the consecration […] [a]nd accordingly these elements are called by the Fathers, “the images, the symbols, the figure, of Christ’s body and blood.” - Popery Calmly Considered, in Works, v. 5, 811

“I haste to this Sacrament for the same purpose that St. Peter and John hasted to His sepulchre; because I hope to find Him there.” - Poetical Works, III, 194–95

“I come then to God’s altar, with a full persuasion that these words, This is My body, promise me more than a figure; that this holy banquet is not a bare memorial only […] in what manner this is done I know not; it is enough for me to admire.” - Poetical Works, III, 194–95

“And thus His body and blood have everywhere, but especially at this Sacrament, a true and real presence.” - Poetical Works, III, 197

 

[ltwin]

Wesley finds the Eucharist merely symbolic and not the point of Mass, instead making the point about humans instead of God.

Be careful mate.

The Articles of Religion of the Wesleyan Church make it clear that Wesleyans do not believe the Lord’s Supper is merely symbolic. They are pretty clear about rejecting memorialism (the Lord’s Supper is only a symbolic memorial). Their belief is closer to receptionism–the idea that the bread and wine remain unchanged but people who are truly receptive (i.e. have faith) will receive grace. This would have been the dominant view within the Church of England, of which John Wesley was a priest, during Wesley’s life.

18. The Sacraments: Baptism and the Lord’s Supper

1. We believe that water baptism and the Lord’s Supper are the sacraments of the church commanded by Christ and ordained as a means of grace when received through faith. They are tokens of our profession of Christian faith and signs of God’s gracious ministry toward us. By them, He works within us to quicken, strengthen and confirm our faith.

We believe that water baptism is a sacrament of the church, commanded by our Lord and administered to believers. It is a symbol of the new covenant of grace and signifies acceptance of the benefits of the atonement of Jesus Christ. By means of this sacrament, believers declare their faith in Jesus Christ as Savior.

We believe that the Lord’s Supper is a sacrament of our redemption by Christ’s death and of our hope in His victorious return, as well as a sign of the love that Christians have for each other. To such as receive it humbly, with a proper spirit and by faith, the Lord’s Supper is made a means through which God communicates grace to the heart.

 

[NuclearReceptor]

Is your wife open to attending Catholic Mass and having your future children raised Catholic?

 

[MrsAngelala]

I attended Protestant churches with my husband for several years, and spent three closely involved in the one he still attends when he’s not at Mass with me.

I liked the close-knit community until I started to recognize the chaos. “The Holy Spirit told me…” was all that was necessary to justify any action or position, no matter how contrary to God’s identity. At first I found the sermons helpful, but after a while I missed the rhythm and silences of Mass. So much talking, and not enough listening! Once I came back to Catholicism and started taking the Eucharist more seriously and attending daily Mass and adoring, my perspective on these “helpful” sermons changed completely. I now go to Protestant churches occasionally in the interest of family harmony, and hear those sermons as nothing more than empty words: self-help speeches. There are invariably a whole bunch of erroneous ideas about God and the Church tucked away in there. Far more effective if you want practical advice is to go to catholic.com or get a book.

When you start talking about children, you can get by for a while as long as you’re not looking at anything too hard. But in the end there are too many compromises, which are going to come front-and-center once you have to start making the concrete faith decisions about raising children. For example, one reason we decided years ago not to have any children is because Husband wouldn’t agree to infant baptism. (This recently changed.) It looks like the Weslyans “allow” for infant baptism, so that may not be your issue. But there are plenty of others.

You have your own journey to walk, and I pray that God will bless you in it. In my case, I found the approach you’re suggesting didn’t work for me or my marriage, and God seems to be affirming that in drawing my husband to the Catholic Church.

 

[adamhovey1988]

I live in the American Southeast, so there are a lot of churches of a lot of denominations. It’s one thing to visit one of them, when one of your friends or family members is getting married, but I don’t think it wise to go to one regularly. Just giving my $0.02.

 

[po18guy]

Mixed marriages are very difficult. Very.

The emotion, the enthusiasm in many congregations is contagious, but pastor is 100% guaranteed to preach error. Sometimes, serious error. Anti-Catholicism, overt or covert, without a doubt.

There will be pressure on you to leave the Church. It will subside only when your spouse leaves their group, becomes atheist, or converts to Catholicism.

Can such a marriage survive?

Yes! But it will take a lot of prayer, work, and patience.

 

[Kei]

Confused him with Zwingli for some reason.

I am NOT used to hearing the term “Wesleyan”, is that the same as Methodist?

But, he still denies the whole truths of the Eucharist such as the literal change of the thing.

 

[ltwin]

I am NOT used to hearing the term “Wesleyan”, is that the same as Methodist?

Yes, John Wesley was the founder of the Methodist movement. A Wesleyan could be any adherent to Wesleyan theology, but the Wesleyan Church is a specific Methodist denomination that is more evangelical, revivalistic and conservative than the larger Methodist denomination most Americans are familiar with, the United Methodists.

It was originally called the Wesleyan Methodist Church and broke off from the Methodist Episcopal Church (today the United Methodist Church) in 1843. The Wesleyans were following original Methodist teaching by being strongly anti-slavery, while the mainline Methodists at the time were trying to accommodate both pro and anti-slavery positions.

 

[ltwin]

It looks like the Weslyans “allow” for infant baptism, so that may not be your issue.

Yes, I think believer’s baptism is more common today, but the Wesleyan Church does give parents the option to either baptize or dedicate their children.

 

[Reuben_J]

Mixed marriages are very difficult. Very.

The emotion, the enthusiasm in many congregations is contagious, but pastor is 100% guaranteed to preach error. Sometimes, serious error. Anti-Catholicism, overt or covert, without a doubt.

There will be pressure on you to leave the Church. It will subside only when your spouse leaves their group, becomes atheist, or converts to Catholicism.

Can such a marriage survive?

Yes! But it will take a lot of prayer, work, and patience.

I agree the difficulty in mixed marriages especially when both spouses do not want to give up their religion to follow the other. It will be a continually tug of war and it is not a good thing for the family. Eventually the less persistence of the two will give up or simply just to have peace rather than the constant unspoken silent war that the two opposing religions would bring.

There would be no doubt be the anti-Catholic bias in Protestant churches and how long a Catholic can withstand a draining conflicting spirituality only time will tell. It will do no good for the spiritual growth.

Think about this carefully before you tie the knot and maybe to work out some kind of understanding of how it will be after getting married.

 

[po18guy]

Fortunately, I was unbaptized and had no religious affiliation or tradition. That made it easier, but still not completely easy.

 

[Reuben_J]

po18guy:

Mixed marriages are very difficult. Very.

The emotion, the enthusiasm in many congregations is contagious, but pastor is 100% guaranteed to preach error. Sometimes, serious error. Anti-Catholicism, overt or covert, without a doubt.

There will be pressure on you to leave the Church. It will subside only when your spouse leaves their group, becomes atheist, or converts to Catholicism.

Can such a marriage survive?

Yes! But it will take a lot of prayer, work, and patience.

I agree the difficulty in mixed marriages especially when both spouses do not want to give up their religion to follow the other. It will be a continually tug of war and it is not a good thing for the family. Eventually the less persistence of the two will give up or simply just to have peace rather than the constant unspoken silent war that the two opposing religions would bring.

There would be no doubt be the anti-Catholic bias in Protestant churches and how long a Catholic can withstand a draining conflicting spirituality only time will tell. It will do no good for the spiritual growth.

Think about this carefully before you tie the knot and maybe to work out some kind of understanding of how it will be after getting married.

This reply was more directed to the OP.

 

[Dlee]

As as new Catholic, I find it very difficult going back to my former Baptist Church. The little things set me off, like “turn to the gospel of Psalms.” The irreverent talking, the praise band with the singers acting like they’re on a performance stage. PASTOR wearing jeans. I find fault with the teaching and it upsets me. It’s a position I try to avoid.