Australian church says women are “too choosy,” should wed earlier

[kelvinf]

Women should marry earlier and not be too picky to avoid an Aussie man drought, the Catholic Church has warned.

Australia is experiencing a huge decline in the number of available men, with the church telling women they should also forget about living with their partners before tying the knot.

Statistics have revealed that there are dramatically fewer eligible blokes than single women aged 25 to 34.

The dire outlook has been backed by Federal Liberal MP Kevin Andrews, who is researching changes in marriage and families in Australia and has suggested the swing towards de facto partnerships wasn’t helping.

But Fr Tony Kerin, episcopal vicar for justice and social service in the Archdiocese of Melbourne, said today’s women wanted the best of both worlds.

“Are women getting too choosy? I’d say yes,” Fr Kerin, speaking on behalf of the archdiocese, said.
“I think many are setting aside their aspirations for later, but by the time they get around to it, they’ve missed their chance. In trying to have it all, they end up missing out.”
Fr Kerin said the rate of marriage in Australia had halved despite nearly four in five people still wanting to settle down.

“For many, it remains an unattainable dream,” he said.
Statistics show that 78 per cent of Australian couples now lived together before they married.

But Fr Kerin said de facto relationships were twice as likely to break down compared with couples who had not lived together.
patheos.com/blogs/deaconsbench/2012/05/australian-church-says-women-are-too-choosy-should-wed-earlier/

I think so. But this is also true for some men. We are always focusing on Mr. or Mrs. Right and tend to miss other opportunities.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Women should marry earlier and not be too picky to avoid an Aussie man drought, the Catholic Church has warned.

Australia is experiencing a huge decline in the number of available men, with the church telling women they should also forget about living with their partners before tying the knot.

Statistics have revealed that there are dramatically fewer eligible blokes than single women aged 25 to 34.

The dire outlook has been backed by Federal Liberal MP Kevin Andrews, who is researching changes in marriage and families in Australia and has suggested the swing towards de facto partnerships wasn’t helping.

But Fr Tony Kerin, episcopal vicar for justice and social service in the Archdiocese of Melbourne, said today’s women wanted the best of both worlds.

“Are women getting too choosy? I’d say yes,” Fr Kerin, speaking on behalf of the archdiocese, said.
“I think many are setting aside their aspirations for later, but by the time they get around to it, they’ve missed their chance. In trying to have it all, they end up missing out.”
Fr Kerin said the rate of marriage in Australia had halved despite nearly four in five people still wanting to settle down.

“For many, it remains an unattainable dream,” he said.
Statistics show that 78 per cent of Australian couples now lived together before they married.

But Fr Kerin said de facto relationships were twice as likely to break down compared with couples who had not lived together.
patheos.com/blogs/deaconsbench/2012/05/australian-church-says-women-are-too-choosy-should-wed-earlier/

I think so. But this is also true for some men. We are always focusing on Mr. or Mrs. Right and tend to miss other opportunities.

I laughed to death with Dr. Phil Program the other day. No wonder women are choosy.
Woman who wanted to marry and found no man had lists of qualities that they demanded. Besides demanding good abs when they did not put a foot in the gym there was one that struck me.
Dr. Phil read and list and pointed aloud one: “knows how to swim”.
I laughed to death…

 

[LilyM]

I laughed to death with Dr. Phil Program the other day. No wonder women are choosy.
Woman who wanted to marry and found no man had lists of qualities that they demanded. Besides demanding good abs when they did not put a foot in the gym there was one that struck me.
Dr. Phil read and list and pointed aloud one: “knows how to swim”.
I laughed to death…

Then there are those of us women whose lists include ‘good heart, makes me laugh’ and not much else … whose male acquaintances all but totally ignore them in favour of the stereotypical very young 6ft tall blonde blue-eyed model-looking gals.

A lot of men are every bit as fussy in their own ways

 

[DaveBj]

I’m reminded of a line I heard in a movie decades ago, to the effect that many women are so intent on finding Mr. Right that they aren’t doing anything about becoming some man’s Ms Right.

Of course, the same thing could be said about some men.

 

[Crescentinus]

Then there are those of us women whose lists include ‘good heart, makes me laugh’ and not much else … whose male acquaintances all but totally ignore them in favour of the stereotypical very young 6ft tall blonde blue-eyed model-looking gals.

A lot of men are every bit as fussy in their own ways

Sadly, it’s not just a Western problem. Even here in the Far East, it’s a very serious problem. D:

 

[ivebeenshown]

If I could do it again I would pick a woman with strong Catholic convictions and humor that complements mine.

My beautiful wife already has that humor and we are growing in our convictions and in the quantity/quality of our family. So I really wouldn’t want to do it again. Thank you Jesus!

But I would recommend that for any unmarried Catholic seeking marriage. Find a partner who complements your personality/humor and has strong Catholic faith. That is what matters.

 

[BettyBoop416]

The Church teaches that we get but one shot at marriage - no do-overs. And now the Church is saying not to be “too picky” when making this supposedly life-long choice?

This is just absurd.

 

[Dale_M]

I think we shouldn’t judge what Fr. Kerin said until we read his comments in context.

I suspect the newspapers are selecting his comments to make them seem outrageous. Its a known tactic for driving sales, as well as views to a news website.

Does anyone have a link to his full interview or statement?

 

[Pax2u]

Have you ever watched the show “House Hunters”? When I listen to those spoiled young couples go on about how “the kitchen isn’t big enough to entertain” or “I must have granite countertops” or “What??? No double sinks in the bathrooms?” I’m surprised that any of them are married LOL!!!

I think people should be less picky about their houses, and more picky about their spouses. Heh, that sounds like a song.

 

[Catholic1954]

If I am gong to be sharing a bathroom with the same person for the next 65 years, you bet I am going to be PICKY!!!

 

[alexand]

Yes,it’s really not just a Western problem.

 

[AthenaC]

Women don’t become “too picky” in a vacuum. Men need to step it up. Women have every right to be picky, especially when you consider that in the traditional model of marriage where women are primarily responsible for child-rearing, the man can leave her and the children homeless and destitute on a whim. And that can happen even when you are very picky, because the bottom line is that no one knows for sure what choices people will make in the future.

 

[Farsight001]

Women should marry earlier and not be too picky to avoid an Aussie man drought, the Catholic Church has warned.

Australia is experiencing a huge decline in the number of available men, with the church telling women they should also forget about living with their partners before tying the knot.

Statistics have revealed that there are dramatically fewer eligible blokes than single women aged 25 to 34.

The dire outlook has been backed by Federal Liberal MP Kevin Andrews, who is researching changes in marriage and families in Australia and has suggested the swing towards de facto partnerships wasn’t helping.

But Fr Tony Kerin, episcopal vicar for justice and social service in the Archdiocese of Melbourne, said today’s women wanted the best of both worlds.

“Are women getting too choosy? I’d say yes,” Fr Kerin, speaking on behalf of the archdiocese, said.
“I think many are setting aside their aspirations for later, but by the time they get around to it, they’ve missed their chance. In trying to have it all, they end up missing out.”
Fr Kerin said the rate of marriage in Australia had halved despite nearly four in five people still wanting to settle down.

“For many, it remains an unattainable dream,” he said.
Statistics show that 78 per cent of Australian couples now lived together before they married.

But Fr Kerin said de facto relationships were twice as likely to break down compared with couples who had not lived together.
patheos.com/blogs/deaconsbench/2012/05/australian-church-says-women-are-too-choosy-should-wed-earlier/

I think so. But this is also true for some men. We are always focusing on Mr. or Mrs. Right and tend to miss other opportunities.

In my experience, the opposite is true. The men and women around me seem a tad needy, for lack of a better word, in regards to a relationship, so they’ll date the first person that sticks out to them without first thinking seriously or praying about it.

 

[VienneseWaltz]

I have heard the same, but about men, don’t know where. I am one of them and not proud of it!

 

[VienneseWaltz]

have you ever watched the show “house hunters”? When i listen to those spoiled young couples go on about how “the kitchen isn’t big enough to entertain” or “i must have granite countertops” or “what??? No double sinks in the bathrooms?” i’m surprised that any of them are married lol!!!

:d
lol

 

[PaulinVA]

The Church teaches that we get but one shot at marriage - no do-overs. And now the Church is saying not to be “too picky” when making this supposedly life-long choice?

This is just absurd.

I think this has to do with your philosophy of how God affects your everyday life.

If you believe that God has picked a spouse for you and it’s your job to find him/her, you have to be extremely picky.

If you believe that you could actually live quite well with any number of people in your immediate area, then you will pick one of them and start your life.

 

[saraih]

Given the choice between ‘oops, too late for kids’ and ‘divorced in a year never to have a meaningful marital relationship ever again’ I’d rather wait and adopt/foster.

In my area far more women go to church than men, and more often. While it isn’t a surefire method of judging who to date, an easter/christmas man wouldn’t have been a good match for me at all. Cats are a better option than settling for someone you have serious doubts about.

 

[In_Spiration]

I admire Fr. Kerin’s courage in issuing such a predictably unpopular criticism, one which nonetheless needs to be made. I’m afraid that not nearly enough conservatives have realized the full extent of damages to society that could be traced to this very cultural phenomenon. A couple insightful takes on this problem from another smart Australian Catholic:

“The single girl stretched too far”

“What do feminists want for women?”

The second is in response to a telling article that appeared this past March in the Wall Street Journal, “Sexual Freedom and Women’s Success,” through which a popular feminist rejoices (emphasis mine):
Women these days understand that their sexual freedom—even if it causes them some amount of heartache—is necessary for their future success. As an in-depth 2004 study of the hookup culture by University of Michigan researcher Elizabeth Armstrong showed, women are not, as the stereotype goes, always pining for marriage while the men turn them away; quite the opposite. Women use their temporary college relationships as a “delay tactic,” Ms. Armstrong writes, because their immediate priority is setting themselves up for a career. Thanks to the sexual revolution, they can have relationships—and maybe some drama—through their 20s and early 30s and not get tied down with a husband and babies. If the price is a little more heartache, so be it. These days women have a lot more important things on their horizon.

Further data indicate (w/emphasis again mine):
Men’s greater inclination toward parenthood, however, seems to hold across every age group. While more than half the single men ages 21 to 35 wanted kids, only 46% of the women did. After that, the difference widens further, and not just out of biological reality. Only 16% of childless women in the still fertile years from 35 to 44 wanted kids; 27% of the men did. Plus, more women than men were prepared to say definitively that they were skipping parenthood.

“Women are much more interested in their independence than men are,” says Fisher. They value certain parts of their single lives more than men do: according to the survey, women are likelier to want to have their own bank accounts, their own interests, their own personal space and solo vacations, even if they’re in a committed relationship. They also care more about nights out with buddies.

Alice von Hildebrand was the other nightEWTN Live, and she stated without reservation that, in her opinion, Feminism is “the greatest victory that Satan has achieved since Original Sin” (around the 52:00 mark). Such a bold claim is actually pretty frightening when you consider the proven wisdom of who’s saying it.

 

[irishpatrick]

I admire Fr. Kerin’s courage in issuing such a predictably unpopular criticism, one which nonetheless needs to be made. I’m afraid that not nearly enough conservatives have realized the full extent of damages to society that could be traced to this very cultural phenomenon. A couple insightful takes on this problem from another smart Australian Catholic:

“The single girl stretched too far”

“What do feminists want for women?”

The second is in response to a telling article that appeared this past March in the Wall Street Journal, “Sexual Freedom and Women’s Success,” through which a popular feminist rejoices (emphasis mine):
Women these days understand that their sexual freedom—even if it causes them some amount of heartache—is necessary for their future success. As an in-depth 2004 study of the hookup culture by University of Michigan researcher Elizabeth Armstrong showed, women are not, as the stereotype goes, always pining for marriage while the men turn them away; quite the opposite. Women use their temporary college relationships as a “delay tactic,” Ms. Armstrong writes, because their immediate priority is setting themselves up for a career. Thanks to the sexual revolution, they can have relationships—and maybe some drama—through their 20s and early 30s and not get tied down with a husband and babies. If the price is a little more heartache, so be it. These days women have a lot more important things on their horizon.

Further data indicate (w/emphasis again mine):
Men’s greater inclination toward parenthood, however, seems to hold across every age group. While more than half the single men ages 21 to 35 wanted kids, only 46% of the women did. After that, the difference widens further, and not just out of biological reality. Only 16% of childless women in the still fertile years from 35 to 44 wanted kids; 27% of the men did. Plus, more women than men were prepared to say definitively that they were skipping parenthood.

“Women are much more interested in their independence than men are,” says Fisher. They value certain parts of their single lives more than men do: according to the survey, women are likelier to want to have their own bank accounts, their own interests, their own personal space and solo vacations, even if they’re in a committed relationship. They also care more about nights out with buddies.

Alice von Hildebrand was on EWTN Live the other night, and she stated without reservation that, in her opinion, Feminism is “the greatest victory that Satan has achieved since Original Sin” (around the 52:00 mark). Such a bold claim is actually pretty frightening when you consider the proven wisdom of who’s saying it.

Men have known for a long time that work is work, and family is family. They also know we are supposed to work so we can live, we are not supposed to be living so we can work. In other words, men have for a very long intuitively understood that their jobs provide a living, and that it is why men are far more willing to do the dirtier jobs so long as they pay a reasonable wage.

On the other, women, imo, have fallen under the spell of thinking that their career defines them, and they pursue careers perhaps even with more ghusto, then do men, today. Yet, unlike men who have generally pursued jobs and careers to make a good living, women often pursue a career as a means to find something “they love to do.”

Men generally ask themselves, “what am I good at?”

Women generally ask themselves, “what job can I do that I will really love?”

Woman, again imo, have also been convinced that they have somehow missed out on life during the times that they were largely stay-home-home moms and wives–to they try to fill that so-called gap by pursuing careers and men with genuine intensity. Ironically, men today are learning in increasing numbers that being home with their kids is a huge blessing as we see many more stay-at-home Dads.

 

[Elizium23]

OP links to a blog. Actual news story is here: couriermail.com.au/news/national/catholic-church-claims-women-should-marry-earlier-and-not-be-too-picky-to-avoid-the-australian-man-drought/story-e6freooo-1226348149681

Also, I am curious about where these statistics came from in the first place. I couldn’t turn up anything by Googling, but I got this from a government report:

The sex ratio relates to the number of males per 100 females in a population or sub population. The sex ratio at birth is approximately 105 males per 100 females. Higher male mortality rates at younger ages result in the ratio approaching 100 for the 30-64 years age group. Net Overseas Migration can also influence the sex ratio, especially in the younger working ages where there is often a greater proportion of male migrants. Above age 65, the sex ratio reduces markedly due to the impact of higher male mortality on this population group.