B
buffalo
Guest
Realized you were homosexual or gay?
- Status
S
soulspeak23
Guest
homosexual. gay. what’s the difference? i’m female so I guess its that I realized I was a lesbian.
M
Marquette
Guest
What was it that caused you to realize you were a lesbian?
S
soulspeak23
Guest
Well, it wasn’t just one thing by any means. Things had been building up to the point where I had to admit to myself that I was falling in love with a woman. Looking back at my younger teen years, I had always felt that way, I just had no name for what I was feeling. My high school had no gay people whatsoever and the topic never had come up in discussion. I will go so far as to say that I was naive in that the world outside my high school didn’t matter much (as is mostly the case in your teenage years). When I realized that I had fallen in love with this woman, I felt so much more at ease with myself. It was like the complete opposite of how I had felt when I had tried to have relationships with boys. Life started to make sense at that point for me. That particular love had turned out to be unrequited, but I have since found a wonderful woman who I have shared my life with for the past five years. Honestly, I could not be happier. My reason for being on these forums is that I cannot figure out why God would make me this way if I was only meant to suffer. I don’t believe that that is so. I belive that God loves my partner and I.
So thats my story, from my heart. Please take that into consideration when you may respond.
Thank you for asking.
B
buffalo
Guest
Chaste Homosexual - one who is undergoing an interior struggle but is committed to living a chaste lifestyle.
Gay Homosexual - one who embraces, advocates and practices same sex relations and sees nothing intrinsically evil in it.
B
buffalo
Guest
God loves all us sinners. He will not ever turn His back on you. It is us who turn our back to Him because we choose not to live His plan for us.
S
soulspeak23
Guest
Well, by those definitions, I fall into the latter category. You are right, I do not believe that my love is evil.
B
buffalo
Guest
The way to conquer sin is to first recognize it as evil.
M
Marquette
Guest
Thank you for your response, Soulspeak. I’m truly trying to understand where you are coming from. I will respond but have to leave–I’m going to Koinonia!! and will be home later this evening, so I will respond then.
M
Marquette
Guest
When you say boys, did you have actual dates with boys? When you say fallen in love with a woman, how would you describe that? I can only speak for myself, but when I first met my husband it was instant physical attraction. Love came much later.
Did you go through a period of guilty feelings based on the teachings of the Bible/Catholic church? My husband and I lived together before marriage. I used to read my Bible before going to bed. When I look back at that I have to think how did I reconcile my living in sin with the teachings of the Bible. But at the time I only cared about how good it felt to be with this great guy.
This next part will sound like a sermon, but I’m not meaning it that way. Bear with me.
You said you can’t figure out why God would make you “that way” if only to suffer. That you couldn’t be happier. I don’t know if God “made you that way” or not, but did you ever think that it may have been a cross you could have born? That in the struggle to bear that cross, you would have had to turn to Jesus over and over again for help in carrying it? That by “couldn’t be happier-ing” you in essence have tossed the cross aside and are substituting the love of Jesus with the love of a partner? What will happen when some day you are given a cross you can’t put down? Like if you got cancer? And the doctors said there was nothing more they could do for you? That would be a cross to bear and only Jesus could help you carry it. I had a baby that died. Talk about a cross I would have liked to put down. Jesus said to “take up your cross and follow me.” What if Jesus had tossed his cross aside, which he could have done, where would we be now?
You say that you believe God loves you and he loves your partner. I believe that too. But in your heart of hearts, do you believe he accepts your sin? Like way back when (and I do mean WAY back when–I’ve been married 34 years) and I was reading my Bible just before sex with a man I wasn’t married to. Jesus loved me then. He loved my husband then. But he hated the sin we were doing. Now, lest you say to yourself, well she can talk, she is married and has the love of another person and intimacy etc., so of course she can say these things. But I’ve been in places in my life where I DID have a cross to bear that I could not put down. And I’ve also been in places where I had a cross and I DID throw it down and substitute Jesus with something else and got myself into a whole lot of trouble.
I guess what I’m getting at is I think you are being deceived because in all of the Bible there is no where that talks about God accepting sin so that you can be happy. What do you do with the versus that condemn homosexuality? Yes, Jesus died for that sin too, but there must be repentance. You say you could not be happier, but are you at peace really? I don’t think so by what you have said because happiness and peace are not the same thing. I would rather have peace than happiness any day, believe me.
You sound like a nice person. I notice you are an accountant. My husband teaches accounting at a university and I have a son with an accounting degree, but that’s another story, he works as a cabana boy on the beach! At one time we thought one of our sons might be gay, but it turned out he wasn’t. We wondered what we would have done if he was gay. We would have still loved him. We would have ached for the cross he would have to carry. We would have wished he could have another person in his life to love and care for him, BUT, that would have been his physical life. The greater question would have been what would we have wanted for him spiritually? We could not have acted as if God winked at sexual sins. Any way, you are young enough to be my daughter, so I am looking at things from my 59-year-old eyes and wonder what you will do the day you receive a cross you cannot put down because they will come. Jesus is ALWAYS the answer. Is your partner a Christian? If so, if you both love Jesus, could you not take up your crosses with his help? Could you be “partners” in the pure sense–sharing housing, sharing lives, but not sharing what God would have you not share? If you asked, he would give you the strength to do it.
I can imagine you rolling your eyes wondering who this totally whacky old woman is who is sermonizing. I have been down a lot of roads in my life and could write a book about it. I’ve had to ask for forgiveness many times with many tears. Jesus is always there ready to forgive. I’m trying to live the last quarter of my life showing Jesus how much I have repented–to make up for lost time, so to speak. I don’t wish I could live my life over, but I wish I could live certain moments in time over and make different choices. I lament the many stripes Jesus had to bear for my bad choices. (see next post, this is getting long)
Did you go through a period of guilty feelings based on the teachings of the Bible/Catholic church? My husband and I lived together before marriage. I used to read my Bible before going to bed. When I look back at that I have to think how did I reconcile my living in sin with the teachings of the Bible. But at the time I only cared about how good it felt to be with this great guy.
This next part will sound like a sermon, but I’m not meaning it that way. Bear with me.
You said you can’t figure out why God would make you “that way” if only to suffer. That you couldn’t be happier. I don’t know if God “made you that way” or not, but did you ever think that it may have been a cross you could have born? That in the struggle to bear that cross, you would have had to turn to Jesus over and over again for help in carrying it? That by “couldn’t be happier-ing” you in essence have tossed the cross aside and are substituting the love of Jesus with the love of a partner? What will happen when some day you are given a cross you can’t put down? Like if you got cancer? And the doctors said there was nothing more they could do for you? That would be a cross to bear and only Jesus could help you carry it. I had a baby that died. Talk about a cross I would have liked to put down. Jesus said to “take up your cross and follow me.” What if Jesus had tossed his cross aside, which he could have done, where would we be now?
You say that you believe God loves you and he loves your partner. I believe that too. But in your heart of hearts, do you believe he accepts your sin? Like way back when (and I do mean WAY back when–I’ve been married 34 years) and I was reading my Bible just before sex with a man I wasn’t married to. Jesus loved me then. He loved my husband then. But he hated the sin we were doing. Now, lest you say to yourself, well she can talk, she is married and has the love of another person and intimacy etc., so of course she can say these things. But I’ve been in places in my life where I DID have a cross to bear that I could not put down. And I’ve also been in places where I had a cross and I DID throw it down and substitute Jesus with something else and got myself into a whole lot of trouble.
I guess what I’m getting at is I think you are being deceived because in all of the Bible there is no where that talks about God accepting sin so that you can be happy. What do you do with the versus that condemn homosexuality? Yes, Jesus died for that sin too, but there must be repentance. You say you could not be happier, but are you at peace really? I don’t think so by what you have said because happiness and peace are not the same thing. I would rather have peace than happiness any day, believe me.
You sound like a nice person. I notice you are an accountant. My husband teaches accounting at a university and I have a son with an accounting degree, but that’s another story, he works as a cabana boy on the beach! At one time we thought one of our sons might be gay, but it turned out he wasn’t. We wondered what we would have done if he was gay. We would have still loved him. We would have ached for the cross he would have to carry. We would have wished he could have another person in his life to love and care for him, BUT, that would have been his physical life. The greater question would have been what would we have wanted for him spiritually? We could not have acted as if God winked at sexual sins. Any way, you are young enough to be my daughter, so I am looking at things from my 59-year-old eyes and wonder what you will do the day you receive a cross you cannot put down because they will come. Jesus is ALWAYS the answer. Is your partner a Christian? If so, if you both love Jesus, could you not take up your crosses with his help? Could you be “partners” in the pure sense–sharing housing, sharing lives, but not sharing what God would have you not share? If you asked, he would give you the strength to do it.
I can imagine you rolling your eyes wondering who this totally whacky old woman is who is sermonizing. I have been down a lot of roads in my life and could write a book about it. I’ve had to ask for forgiveness many times with many tears. Jesus is always there ready to forgive. I’m trying to live the last quarter of my life showing Jesus how much I have repented–to make up for lost time, so to speak. I don’t wish I could live my life over, but I wish I could live certain moments in time over and make different choices. I lament the many stripes Jesus had to bear for my bad choices. (see next post, this is getting long)
M
Marquette
Guest
(Continuation of previous post)
Well, you can be angry with this post, or toss it aside with a shrug, or laugh hysterically, or maybe even have a few things to think about, I would hope. I will pray for you and your partner that God will answer your question, why did He make you (or why are you) “that way.” Maybe His answer will surprise you.
Phillippians 4:6-9 (For true peace in life–one of my favorite passages) “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, PRACTICE THESE THINGS, and the God of peace shall be with you.”
James 3:17-18 (For God’s wisdom–so we aren’t deceived–my second-favorite passage) “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace buy those who make peace.”
And last but not least, my third-favorite passage for when everything seems to be going badly:
Habakkuk 3:17-19 “Though the fig tree should not blossom, and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail, and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold, and there be no cattle in the stalls, YET I will exult in the Lord. I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds’ feet, and makes me walk on my high places.”
May God Bless.http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon7.gif
Marquette
Well, you can be angry with this post, or toss it aside with a shrug, or laugh hysterically, or maybe even have a few things to think about, I would hope. I will pray for you and your partner that God will answer your question, why did He make you (or why are you) “that way.” Maybe His answer will surprise you.
Phillippians 4:6-9 (For true peace in life–one of my favorite passages) “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, PRACTICE THESE THINGS, and the God of peace shall be with you.”
James 3:17-18 (For God’s wisdom–so we aren’t deceived–my second-favorite passage) “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace buy those who make peace.”
And last but not least, my third-favorite passage for when everything seems to be going badly:
Habakkuk 3:17-19 “Though the fig tree should not blossom, and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail, and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold, and there be no cattle in the stalls, YET I will exult in the Lord. I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds’ feet, and makes me walk on my high places.”
May God Bless.http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon7.gif
Marquette
G
gilliam
Guest
The Catholic Church teaches that God does not make people sinners. But different people have different desires and because of events that happen in their lifes, they are exposed to different temptations. Alchololics are not evil, but can get fixated on the drug of alcholol which would be a grave disorder. If they simply said, “well that’s the way I am, and I’m not changing”, we would call that dispair. It is no different in this case.
M
melbourne_guy
Guest
You can still love some one without having a sexual intercourse with them. Are you trying to say you cannot control your sexual attraction to this person?
M
mlchance
Guest
Yes, it is. The homosexual “community” is centrally defined by what its members do with their genitals.
– Mark L. Chance.
M
MikeinSD
Guest
And a lot of Conservative christians prefer that way. Makes gay guys an easier target.
When we talk about love, i.e. being romantic with the same sex, conservatives get very uneasy. They don’t like it when we step out of their tight definition of us. Hence the uproar over films like Brokeback Mountian. And gay marriages. Homosexuals are not supposed to love. It makes us seem like real people.
E
Edwin1961
Guest
What was your social life like growing up?
Were you outgoing and popular?
Were most of your friends growing up males or females?
As for me I was pretty much left to my own.
I had friends all through out school but hung around the guys. When it came to the age of puberty, I’d seek girls to talk to and maybe develope a relationship, but nothing happened past acquaintance.
When it came to asking girls out in high school, they either had boyfriends already or just didn’t think I was worth going out with.
Yet I was popular in high school, maybe on
the surface.
The only problem I see is that is possible for two homosexual persons to live together and NOT be sexual, but the odds of that are very low. Temptations from all over would be too great. I would have loved to have lived that way with my ex, but he was way TOO sexual in nature to give it up. His desires get the best of him. If I had to live with another homosexual guy again, I don’t think the chasisty part would go well with the other person. (To live like two brothers, that is).
So I live alone and give my Cross of sexual passions to Christ.
E
Edwin1961
Guest
Did anyone get to listen to the Catholic Answers Live programs for yesterday (2/10)?
Here is the link for the two programs with guests Fr. Benedict Groeschel and Fr. John Harvey.
www2.catholic.com/radio/calendar.php
The audio won’t be on the calander until Monday.
I thought the programs on Homosexuality and Chastity and other one being Pornography and Masterbation were very well planned and well researched.
Here is the link for the two programs with guests Fr. Benedict Groeschel and Fr. John Harvey.
www2.catholic.com/radio/calendar.php
The audio won’t be on the calander until Monday.
I thought the programs on Homosexuality and Chastity and other one being Pornography and Masterbation were very well planned and well researched.
J
Jennifer123
Guest
IMHO love isn’t just about romance. It seems we have a very narrow definition of love in our society today. We tend to eroticize everything. I’m not saying homosexuals don’t love, but I think their definition of love may be skewed by the factors that generate homosexuality.
Just my opinion but love, real love shown and taught by Jesus, requires things that aren’t in evidence in the gay lifestyle. I’m not saying that gays can’t love, or don’t feel love, because we are made in His image so we are born to love, but going by studies and statistics, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of love but lust in evidence.
:twocents:
M
mlchance
Guest
Maybe yes, maybe no. But it is telling that you didn’t disagree with the characterization. The fact stands. What defines homosexual “culture”? Answer: homosexual sex.
Thus the continuing conflation of sex, romance, and love.
– Mark L. Chance.
L
Libero
Guest
Oh dear,
The author mentioned children, this always makes me cringe - leave the children out of it!!! They can’t contradict what you say!!
The author mentioned children, this always makes me cringe - leave the children out of it!!! They can’t contradict what you say!!
- Status