Avoiding priests and religious

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Hi @LittleFlower

The thing with this sad subject is this: During the first half of the 20th century, there was hardly any talk on the subject and many times the police wouldn’t even investigate the cases. This varied greatly from country to country…But it is the sad fact.
 
adgloriam said:
The thing with this sad subject is this: During the first half of the 20th century, there was hardly any talk on the subject and many times the police wouldn’t even investigate the cases. This varied greatly from country to country…But it is the sad fact.
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I know, which is why it feels like there isn’t really much help for those who may be indirectly affected by it. I just feel like the whole Church community failed such vulnerable people by people who were in power. They also spiritually hurt them.

Not one priest I know has discussed the topic. It isn’t being addressed—at least not in the parishes I know of or attend.

Also, everyone is just exclaiming it was in the past, or could never happen again.

History shows us that prediction usually never works.
 
I agree with you.

I had a situation many years ago, where my child was being poorly treated by a teacher who was well respected within this non-Catholic school. I spoke to a few professional people for guidance who told me that they have heard about this said teacher and all were concerned that this said teacher may be grooming children, but none had any solid proof.

I did have a meeting with the school and the said teacher about how my child was being poorly treated. Whilst I did receive an apology from said teacher about his behaviour towards my child and the situation did settle thereafter. I still felt uncomfortable with the knowledge I had been told.
It was a couple of months down the track this said teacher left the school and moved out of area. It still concerns me that this teacher has moved away from suspecting eyes to a new environment with people and children unaware. I can only hope that a spoken reference through professional channels have occurred.
 
Yes, I am aware this has happened elsewhere in society, but this thread focusses on clergy. It would be great if replies could focus on just that.

The implications for the faithful are dire. I am not the only Catholic who is struggling, I am struggling with the fact that those who were abused were led away from the Church.
 
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I can see that being very difficult to swallow.

One of the discussion points from the Royal Commission here was that parish priests probably shouldn’t look after schools. (This is not a value judgment from me!)

Some Catholic education boards in different Australian states take care of all hiring and schools matters, with minimal priest (name removed by moderator)ut on day to day affairs.
 
This incident was not at a Catholic School, it was a secular school.

In my country, All Priests must be chaperoned when children are involved. This protects the child and the priest. Those involved with children also require a police check prior to working with children. As similar with your Catholic Australian Schooling system, we have board of Trustee’s (normally parents of children attending the school)
 
@LittleFlower, forgot to mention … in that meeting I did look that teacher in the eye. I told him sincerly that I forgive him. I also made it clear to him that I would not forget.
 
LittleFlower said:
Hi everyone,

I’ll try to be succinct.

After the Royal Commission released some of its findings and I watched the Catholic Church react across Australia, I have found myself unable to look priests and religious in the eye.

I am thoroughly disgusted with the Church and its people.

Recently I changed parishes, to one that is more active and have found myself actively choosing not to receive the Body of Christ from the priests. I leave through a side door so that they won’t shake my hand.

I know that not all priests and religious abused others. I know I should be charitable, forgiving, and not put everyone in the same basket.

However, the sexual abuse has been a worldwide issue, with the Church actively hiding and protecting the perpetrators.

Has anyone gone through similar feelings? If so, how have you managed them? If not, how do you move past this crimes?

Thanks 🌷
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I can understand how you feel. When I think about it, I am totally disgusted with priests who committed sexual abuse. I am angry with them and unable to forgive them, for the damage that they brought on the Catholic Church. To me it is inexcusable that priests should do this.

I can only comfort myself that they are humans after all and therefore can sin. It is not much a consolation admittedly. That is why such scandal has caused great damage to the Church of Jesus, its effect immeasurable, directly and indirectly.

Fortunately for me, those priests that I personally know of, are free from this scandal. As for those suspected of sexual abuse, very rare are actually guilty rather than just mere suspects.

Let’s pray for them that the Devil would not own them, for they are specially having very high a prize on their heads.
 
Hi LittleFlower,

You clearly love the Priest and Religious. Don’t beat yourself up … There may be good reasons your anger isn’t admitting to what is known intellectually. It is what it is, and how pain from this wound is expressed is not subject to judgement. It’s obviously a movement of the subconscious and it may be what’s good. Perhaps the alternative is something worse. I don’t really know , but the thought came to mind that. on some deeper level, you can’t look them in the eye because you feel ashamed that you are angry at all of them because your angry at the Church and that’s who they are to you right now… I think you just need time to process. just need time to process this. I can’t know but my advise is to not beat yourself up about this. Allow yourself time to process. You obviously have a strong bond with the Priests so in time order will return and you will feel the familial love that you can’t feel right now.;
Peace and God Bless,
 
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That part makes me angrier because the bishops should have known better. The were bent by the winds of the day’s psychology. Sorry
 
I do believe that it is YOU who asked. Is it not YOU who posted on an internet forum? Is it not YOU who have difficulty even looking at clergy and religious - knowing full well that only a fraction of them are guilty of anytihng? You get advice that doesn’t validate your feelings and YOU lash out? The good, faithful clergy and religious need YOUR support now more than ever. And YOU offer them…what???

My advice stands.
 
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I keep the following in mind;
  1. it’s unfair to hold everyone responsible for the sins of a very small percentage
  2. the “cover-up” was really the result of how society dealt with those crimes back in the day, and the fact that it wasn’t legally a crime to the same degree it is today. It’s not an excuse, just a contributing fact.
  3. teachers abuse kids at a higher rate than priests, so if you don’t look at teachers with contempt and avoid them; then you should be doing the same to priests
  4. the Church has always had a Judas. We don’t throw out all the teachings of the apostles due to Judas, therefore, we shouldn’t shun our modern day apostles due to the actions of modern day Judases
God Bless
 
po18guy said:
I do believe that it is YOU who asked. Is it not YOU who posted on an internet forum? Is it not YOU who have difficulty even looking at clergy and religious - knowing full well that only a fraction of them are guilty of anytihng? You get advice that doesn’t validate your feelings and YOU lash out? The good, faithful clergy and religious need YOUR support now more than ever. And YOU offer them…what???

My advice stands.
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I have not lashed out. You are either misreading what I have written or misunderstood it.

I have also not lashed out because I disagree with you.
LittleFlower said:
I know that not all priests and religious abused others. I know I should be charitable, forgiving, and not put everyone in the same basket.
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LittleFlower said:
Has anyone gone through similar feelings? If so, how have you managed them? If not, how do you move past this crimes?
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What did you not read or understand? Where have I lashed out?
 
@Reuben_J Thank you so much for your reply, it has helped me. 🌷

@Benadam Thank you as well, I think that time will heal and giving myself that time and allowing myself to experience what I am feeling will help. 🌷
 
I am glad I can be of help. I understand how you’re feeling because there are things in the world that make me angry too.

If you can’t talk to a cleric then perhaps try talking to a layperson you know in real life who seems to have a strong faith. Somebody like that might be more approachable and might be able to explain how the church is salvageable.
 
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I may try that, thank you for that suggestion. Sometimes I can’t see the forest for the trees! 🌷

Again, it means a great deal to me that you have taken time out of your day to try and help me navigate this.
 
Little Flower, I was in 2 minds about participating on this forum again until I read your post.

Stats are 7 %. Remember that includes Priests, religious both male and female, and laity engaged in Catholic Church business. So, not just Priests.

The Royal Commission found 30 + % was religious in nature, from all religions, not just the Catholic Church. Anglican, salvos, jehovas, Jewish. Hot on the heels of that figure is public institutions, run by Government organisations, also 30+ % . Torana in Melbourne for instance and Public schools.

I don’t know about your Diocese, but in mine, those responsible are in jail, on trial, or dead. The Clergy we have now are working hard to pick up the pieces , rebuild and move forward, whilst helping survivors and their families.
Survivors and families in my Diocese include those who are now alienated from the Church, those who are practicing Catholics, and still those families in denial. It’s a long hard grief filled road.

It’s not over. Buckle up, come March, Cardinal Pell’s court appearances begin. We pray he has no case to answer.

Survivors, till now, have spoken up sufficiently to see those responsible brought before the courts, if still living.

We have many measures in place to ensure this never happens again. Ever.

Please don’t listen to media ‘coverage’ of statements of clergy following the release of the final report. I have been there and witnessed first hand what’s being filmed, and what snippets turn up on the news that night. There is a huge chasm between the two.

Where too from here? We wait on the Holy See for answers to Reconcilliation questions our Archbishops have requested. Pope Francis was very fast to respond, after the final report, and say the report must be thoughtfully considered.

And the Australian Bishops Synod/Council will not doubt be considering recommendations.

satan tried to destroy my Diocese, my Parish, my church, my confessionals, my Mass. He did not succeed. Pray for us.

Do not let satan keep you from Mass or the Eucharist. Your current clergy are going through the same angst as you.
Every visiting clergy to my Diocese talk of the infamy of us, and their posting here. Then they say how their postings has been a blessing, meeting us all and working here. One Priest asked me why we had fences full of ribbons…

If you want to chat in pm feel free to pm. Your Diocese will have help for you. What you experience is very very normal around the traps. We all go through it to some extent.

(name removed by moderator), There is plenty online, about the Australian historic sexual abuse of Children, in the Catholic Church. Specific to the issue of cover ups and moving offending Priests around to new Parishes when complaints were made. The offending Priests continued offending.

My Bishop, in charge of cleaning up this great mess now, says it was wrong. Because it was wrong. Children were not protected.

My Bishop is a living Saint.
 
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Thank you so much for your reply. I will take you up on your offer and will most likely PM you tomorrow morning. 🌷

It helps to know that I am not alone with my feelings, and my hurt. 😣

I’m finding it really hard to move past it all—especially as an institution, not just clergy or abusers but the whole nine yards.
 
jfz178 said:
So if 7% of priests are abusing in Australia, I think you can conclude that a like percentage of all categories of people who deal with children are also.
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Sorry but that would be a massive mistake. I haven’t fact checked the 7% but it sounds massive and you mentioned a 4% elsewhere. Having previously researched this i can recall from memory that the number of men (it is overwhelmingly men) with paedophilic attractions is less than a percent. So i really sruggle to believe 4% because there aren’t even that many people trying to abuse children.

I think there is evidence that the Church has more of a problem than the general population but a common bias is called “base rate neglect”. It’s a long way from ~0.5% to 7%. I think 2% was admitted by the Church and sounds reasonable. 4x the national average is still a big problem.
 
stupidisasstupiddoes said:
I haven’t fact checked the 7%
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I have.

This ABC article breaks it all down. Quite horrific. 😣

www.abc.net.au

Worst Catholic groups for child sex abuse claims in Australia revealed

The Australian Catholic Church releases "grim" data revealing 7 per cent of priests, working between 1950 and 2009, have been accused of child sex crimes. Here's what you need to know.
www.abc.net.au www.abc.net.au
The Australian Catholic Church has released “grim” data revealing 7 per cent of priests, working between 1950 and 2009, have been accused of child sex crimes.
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It only shows where victims sought redress, like compensation, or where the church investigated and substantiated the claim — it does not include complaints made that did not have any follow-up or investigation.
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