Awful Coworker- please help my spirit deal with her

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momof2angells

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Hi. In a nutshell my coworker is a woman who is mean, talks to herself, curses under her breath constantly, tells our other coworkers blasphemous things about Jesus (she did that one time). I reported her a few years ago for her unprofessionalism, she used to get really mean and nasty to me. My boss and HR never did anything. Well, we have a new internal boss now that knows her but probably does not know the extent of her bad behaviour and I don’t want to be the person to bring up problems to the new boss. However, I will report directly to the new boss starting in November and my coworkers terrible behaviour affects my work. I have to be careful how to approach her to ask her a question because she might be in a mood. SHould I mention it again to the new boss or wait to see if she does any changes , I wonder if I should tell her her constant rudeness made me report her a few years ago. I can’t stand another day of working with this woman, it affects me so much, she is horrible. Today I heard her curse that something smelled disgusting (I was having lunch, we sit next to eachother) and she’s affecting me. It’s been 4 years of this. Should I wait until I"m asked? Any advice is appreciated. I cant find another job because my children have benefits tied to this one. Thank you all.
 
I pray that your co-worker will come to faith in God
who can set her free from cursing and causing
grief to her co-workers whether she is really culpable
or not. Jesus can change ANYONE, even the demoniac
whom nobody could control(Mk 5).

Jesus, Help Me!

In every need let me come to You with humble trust,
saying:
Jesus, help me!
In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations:
Jesus, help me!
In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials:
Jesus, help me!
In the failure of my plans and hopes, in disappointments,
troubles and sorrows:
Jesus, help me!
When others fail me, and Your Grace alone can assist me:
Jesus, help me!
When I throw myself on Your tender Love as Savior:
Jesus, help me!
When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good
come from my efforts:
Jesus, help me!
When I feel impatient, and my cross irritates me:
Jesus, help me!
When I am ill, and my head and hands cannot work and
I am lonely:
Jesus, help me!

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls and short-
comings of every kind:
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, help me and never forsake me!

Amen
 
momof2angells said:
Hi. In a nutshell my coworker is a woman who is mean, talks to herself, curses under her breath constantly, tells our other coworkers blasphemous things about Jesus (she did that one time). I reported her a few years ago for her unprofessionalism, she used to get really mean and nasty to me. My boss and HR never did anything. Well, we have a new internal boss now that knows her but probably does not know the extent of her bad behaviour and I don’t want to be the person to bring up problems to the new boss. However, I will report directly to the new boss starting in November and my coworkers terrible behaviour affects my work. I have to be careful how to approach her to ask her a question because she might be in a mood. SHould I mention it again to the new boss or wait to see if she does any changes , I wonder if I should tell her her constant rudeness made me report her a few years ago. I can’t stand another day of working with this woman, it affects me so much, she is horrible. Today I heard her curse that something smelled disgusting (I was having lunch, we sit next to eachother) and she’s affecting me. It’s been 4 years of this. Should I wait until I"m asked? Any advice is appreciated. I cant find another job because my children have benefits tied to this one. Thank you all.
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I would suggest reading/contacting askamanager.org

That is a professional site that can give you the right things to say.

I think you have to separate out things that are quirky with things that are actually disturbing.

For instance, being mean and cursing is unacceptable but talking to yourself is a quirk that happens. The “telling blasphemous things about Jesus” is somewhat subjective athough religion really shouldn’t be brought up in an office setting.
 
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Praying for your awkward situation, may God give you the strength to take the high road, always.
 
Cthompson said:
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Xanthippe_Voorhees:
athough religion really shouldn’t be brought up in an office setting
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I try to bring up religion, specifically Christianity, whenever I can in my work place. 😉
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However, you might want to consider that it could be considered unwelcoming or isolating, just as bringing up any religion could be. Unless you know your co-workers well, it’s going to be like any other annoying thing that people feel others get too obsessed with…be it paleo diet, veganism, Zumba or whatever.

Also, if you’re bringing it up, then you have no place to get upset if someone “bashes” it. Well within their rights as much as yours.
 
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Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
you might want to consider that it could be considered unwelcoming or isolating,
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I don’t walk into my office making the sign of the cross and saying “greetings fellow Christians”, but I do small things to “boast” about my faith, such as leaving books on my desk that are clearly Catholic and try to mention God when I can. (I.E. if someone says their mom is sick, I’ll say that I’ll pray for them, etc.)

I’m not sure about your work, but some of my coworkers can be hostile to Christianity. I’m always prepared to defend the Faith, if need be (it doesn’t happen everyday but it has happened).

I usually don’t start the conversation on faith; I let someone bring it up, such as “oh, what are you reading?” Or “are you wearing a rosary?”

1 Peter 3:15
 
Cthompson said:
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Xanthippe_Voorhees:
you might want to consider that it could be considered unwelcoming or isolating,
Click to expand...
I don’t walk into my office making the sign of the cross and saying “greetings fellow Christians”, but I do small things to “boast” about my faith, such as leaving books on my desk that are clearly Catholic and try to mention God when I can. (I.E. if someone says their mom is sick, I’ll say that I’ll pray for them, etc.)

I’m not sure about your work, but some of my coworkers can be hostile to Christianity. I’m always prepared to defend the Faith, if need be (it doesn’t happen everyday but it has happened).

I usually don’t start the conversation on faith; I let someone bring it up, such as “oh, what are you reading?” Or “are you wearing a rosary?”

1 Peter 3:15
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Didn’t say you did. Just offering professional advice. While you are free to say things like “I’ll pray” just know that it can be off-putting to some and is no longer considered a professional norm. If you know that and don’t care, it’s fine.

The office is no place to “defend your faith” If that conversation needs to be had, then have it out of work doors and off of work hours. And yes, I know what it is like to work in a place that is anti-Catholic (Christians get a pass because they don’t belong to churches who had scandals)

I want to make clear the difference between what someone may feel is their “moral obligation” and what is considered proper business ettique today. Don’t want to follow it, fine, but it is important to be aware of what it is.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
The office is no place to “defend your faith”
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Certainly understanding proper business etiquette, I would argue some of the greatest saints of the Catholic Church went to the death defending the faith in their work place or refusing to succumb to the relativistic culture around them.

St. Charles Luwanga and St. Thomas More are my two favorite examples; but there is a deep roster of early apostles and church leaders were butchered for refusing to stop talking about their faith, espeicallly in their work places.

In Acts 19, a silversmith from Greece is outraged that his pagan business is in jeopardy because of St Paul and his conversions. St. Paul would be considered a modern day trouble maker because he disrupted “business etiquette” and kept talking religion in the workplace.

Discuss the faith charitably, obviously; be prepared for push back, certainly. But never let our relativistic culture stonewall you to say “the workplace is not the place for religion”.
 
Cthompson said:
Discuss the faith charitably, obviously; be prepared for push back, certainly. But never let our relativistic culture stonewall you to say “the workplace is not the place for religion”.
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:roll_eyes:

It’s not “relativistic” because many people from many backgrounds need to work in harmony for the better part of their waking hours.

We have developed workplace norms so that those who are unlike us are comfortable working and providing for their families.

Again, should you wish to go against norms and what is considered workplace etiquette then so be it. However, one should understand what those norms are before they willfully choose to cross them.

In preparing materials to speak about an irritating co-worker one must be very careful to ensure that you are noting only non-professional concerns and not simply irritations and hurt feelings. For instance, the talking to oneself is a quirk that, while annoying, is acceptable. Being rude and mean (examples needed) are things that a boss should know about. The “blasphemy” can only be addressed under keeping workplaces as religion-free and politics-free places as possible. If you get to speak about God, than someone who hates God gets equal time. Better no one does.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
keeping workplaces as religion-free and politics-free places as possible
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It’s important for businesses to have a welcoming environment; however, that’s up to the business. Chick-fil-a is a perfect example. It’s a solidly Christian business that certainly talks business in the Work place. I worked there for a while and you’d know they were evangelical Christians by hour 1 😄
There’s a reason why that company is so popular in today’s economy (and it’s not just because of their delicious food).

We need to treat everyone with respect. The caveat is once we begin treating Catholicism equal with other faiths and beliefs, we get into the mindset of all religious beliefs are “different routes up the same mountain”.

But to get back to the OP, let’s pray for her situation to certainly improve! (We can agree on that).
 
Cthompson said:
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Xanthippe_Voorhees:
keeping workplaces as religion-free and politics-free places as possible
Click to expand...
It’s important for businesses to have a welcoming environment; however, that’s up to the business. Chick-fil-a is a perfect example. It’s a solidly Christian business that certainly talks business in the Work place. I worked there for a while and you’d know they were evangelical Christians by hour 1 😄
There’s a reason why that company is so popular in today’s economy (and it’s not just because of their delicious food).

We need to treat everyone with respect. The caveat is once we begin treating Catholicism equal with other faiths and beliefs, we get into the mindset of all religious beliefs are “different routes up the same mountain”.

But to get back to the OP, let’s pray for her situation to certainly improve! (We can agree on that).
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An exception to the rule, doesn’t make the rule. Not only that, but it’s not a “professional job” while it is a workplace. Retail and food (and religion-based NPO’s) generally get a pass on “professional” norms.

We can certainly pray for the OP. However, I do think that it is important to make sure that the OP is approching things as professionally and unemotinally as possible to get the best result.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
the OP is approching things as professionally and unemotinally
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Absolutely and for her problem, it may not be best to approach the other individual. I wouldn’t paint a broad stroke and say we need to keep religion out of the work place because there are a few people who don’t like religion.

Again, it is so important not to be “that guy/girl”. Don’t force the faith in anyone; however, I should be able to say “Merry Christmas” to customers and live out my faith. I don’t go around questioning people’s beliefs, but if someone asks me about mine I’m going to answer them.

God bless.
 
Cthompson said:
40.png
Xanthippe_Voorhees:
the OP is approching things as professionally and unemotinally
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Absolutely and for her problem, it may not be best to approach the other individual. I wouldn’t paint a broad stroke and say we need to keep religion out of the work place because there are a few people who don’t like religion.

Again, it is so important not to be “that guy/girl”. Don’t force the faith in anyone; however, I should be able to say “Merry Christmas” to customers and live out my faith. I don’t go around questioning people’s beliefs, but if someone asks me about mine I’m going to answer them.

God bless.
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For professionally, I mean the best way to deal with “blasphemy” is not to call it blasphemy, but to say. “Co-worker has inserted religious opinions into situations which I find uncomfortable and distasteful.” Simply saying blasphemy is going to get a laugh and be sumarly dismissed.
 
The best option would be to go to the supervisior or manager (I am not sure how the hierarchy works) and complain that your religious beliefs are being insulted. If it’s only happened once, than it’s lver. But if it happens again, I’d approach management.
 
Did you try and simply ask the person not to use the name of Jesus and other such terms as curse words? If you can treat someone with love that you don’t like, that says something special about you.
 
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Thanks everyone, the problem is she’s so unprofessional it’s almost like she was planted there by the enemy himself. She snorts loudly, sneezes that shakes the cubicle, responds rudely, whispers to other cube mates while I’m right there, calls my lunch disgusting, doesn’t respond to my hellos or goodbyes during the day (I’ve stopped, I can’t take it). …a few days ago I thanked the Lord for this suffering because I offered it for the souls of my children to get closer to the Lord but the enemy took that perspective away from me today and I can’t see anything but her gross demeanor inside and out.
 
momof2angells said:
I thanked the Lord for this suffering because I offered it for the souls of my children
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Very inspirational! Do what you can to remove yourself front the situation but continue to offer up this suffering and do not get discouraged. I will be praying for you.
 
Thank you so much for your encouragement, I learned much from our sister St. Therese. Lord help me tomorrow. …tough day
 
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