Awkward moments during mass

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In the 3rd grade, I was the one in Catholic School whose hips widened almost over night so that the uniform skirt came down a little above my knees in back, mid-knee length longer in the front.

One particular First Friday Mass was attended by all of the students and a sparse number of parishoners. There was a moment of solemn silence during a transition from one part of the Mass to another, when we all sat down. Because those in my class (and younger) were all so short, the idea was to lean on the edge of the seat with your butt and slide back. When the back of my thighs rubbed against the wooden seat of the pew, I unintentionally made a piercing, loud, loooooong squeaking on the seat. It echoed and reverberated. Father stopped his preparation of the gifts to look up. In that second, and I swear he was looking at me. Ashamed, I slid back again, and again making this unbelievable noise with the backs of my legs – something like rubbing your fingers across a balloon at three times the normal volume!

I wanted curl up my chubby legs to die. 😊 Until now, the only people who knew about this were the other folks who were there.
 
Wouldn’t say it was an awkward moment, but the Monsignor is retiring as Parish Priest after 26 years.

So he told the story of an old lady crying outside the Church because Father was being moved.

"Why are you crying said the Priest "? ** "because Father Brendan is being moved "**

"But the Bishop will send a good replacement ", "yes Father, but the Bishop said that before he sent you "
 
A week ago Sunday we had a parishoner pass out during mass in the middle of the homily. Paramedics came to take him away. It was very tense and awkward. At one point he came to and then passed out again and everyone thought he was dying. It was not a good thing.

Then last weds during the Assumption mass, during the consecration everyone stood up at the wrong time. We just got a new priest about a month ago, and he’s short. Sometimes when he stretches out his hands he shakes them a bit to get his sleeves to slide down. People thought he wanted them to stand so everyone stood. And then it threw the mass into a total disarray and no one really knew what to do and when to do it suddenly. Made me think of trained dogs. It almost happened again yesterday during mass because he does that shake with his arms when he stretches out his arms during the consecration.
 
I had a guy faint on me during mass when I was a teenager. His head landed on my feet. I didn’t want to move because I didn’t want him to hit his head on the floor. Two teachers rushed over to take him outside and I got yelled at to move out of the way.
 
Mag_Uidhir said:
Wouldn’t say it was an awkward moment, but the Monsignor is retiring as Parish Priest after 26 years.

So he told the story of an old lady crying outside the Church because Father was being moved.

"Why are you crying said the Priest "? ** "because Father Brendan is being moved "**

"But the Bishop will send a good replacement ", "yes Father, but the Bishop said that before he sent you "
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😃

Oh yes…I remembered something. I went to a morning Friday mass and there were only 2 other people (my friends) attending. Suddenly we forgot when to stand up and we had no one to imitate (the downside of small masses 😛 ). The priest had to tell us. At least it wasn’t that embarrassing since we know the priest very well. 😃
 
GandalfTheWhite said:
😃

Oh yes…I remembered something. I went to a morning Friday mass and there were only 2 other people (my friends) attending. Suddenly we forgot when to stand up and we had no one to imitate (the downside of small masses 😛 ). The priest had to tell us. At least it wasn’t that embarrassing since we know the priest very well. 😃
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It’s quite common here, people not knowing what to do, they’re up and down like yo-yo’s easy to tell who’s making an annual appearance.🙂
 
We had one Sunday with a first Communion Mass which is always packed to the brim. Fr. was gearing his homily toward the children and was talking about different ways they have to entertain themselves these days. He began with, “back in my day we didn’t have all the little games like Nintendo and Playboy to keep ourselved busy!” We knew he meant Gameboy, but that just made it even funnier! Poor guy, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him go that red before. Stopped Mass for a good 3 minutes until everyone managed to regain their composure.
 
During my mother’s funeral mass, an elderly friend of hers passed out. Someone used their cell phone to call a paramedic. An ambulance and a fire truck were sent. Paramedics and firefighters all came in the church as the funeral mass continued. Luckily, the woman was alright.
 
This is my favorite thread of late!

When I made my First Holy Communion in 1963 I attended a very large parish with what seemed like hundreds of first communicants. I was in the front row, first one on the center aisle.

After Mass we processed out after the celebrants. I led my row, and I accidentally genuflected toward the back of the church. Every single first communicant imitated me, all genuflecting to the back of the church instead of toward the tabernacle!

Boy, did I catch holy hades from the nuns! I never genuflected wrong after that!

'thann
 
One Sunday when I was to be the lector, we were having a baptism at the font in the back of the church. We have an old, old church, with the seats close together so that you cannot even leave the pew without raising the kneeler. We were all facing backward to see the baptism; I was instructed that at the end of the intro of the baptism, I was to go forward to read. In the process of turning around without raising the kneeler, my slide-on shoes came off and I stepped into the aisle barefooted. The shoe was lodged under the kneeler and I had to stoop over in the aisle to get it free and then put it on before I could proceed to the ambo.

Was my face RED!!!😊
 
vince2paul said:
My friend also experienced something like that. The priest knows her very well, so when giving the host, he often says “body of christ, Jane”
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Something similar to this happened to my best friend when we were in school. The EME was a really good friend of his family, and when he approached to recieve communion, she said, “the body of Scott” then immediatly corrected herself.

I was an altar boy, and the most embarrassing moment of those days was when me and my friend were both serving at a Mass. As we knelt for the consecration, my knee rubbed across the kneeler and it sounded like a huge fart! We both started cracking up under our breath as Fr. Sam glared at us! I thought I was going to die.
 
chadwilliams said:
Something similar to this happened to my best friend when we were in school. The EME was a really good friend of his family, and when he approached to recieve communion, she said, “the body of Scott” then immediatly corrected herself.
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Another good reason NOT to say people’s names when administering Communion. It’s a communion in Christ, it’s not about human friendships. Saying names divides the communicants into two classes, those whose names the minister knows and those he doesn’t know. And when he calls somneone by the **wrong **name…
 
When I was in first grade Catholic school, I got to be an “angel” at the second graders’ First Communion. We practiced every day before the big day. I got to wear a floor length blue gown (other angels were in yellow, pink and green), carry a basket of rose petals, wear wings (I couldn’t lean against the back of the pew; it was very uncomfortable.) Just before leaving the school to march in procession, my Mom had taken her movie camera to the sanctuary to take pictures of our entry procession for the parish archives. The other girls’ mothers were attending to them at the school, but the nuns had agreed to take care of me. They arranged my halo, and checked my wings, but apparently the nuns didn’t know everything there was to know about getting little girls ready for a long high Mass with 50 first communicants.

There is a great home movie of me coming down the aisle, swinging the basket, throwing the rose petals, a little too enthusiastically. Each angel sat at the end of a row, back with the families, behind all the first communicants. Some time during the sermon, the problem occurred. I just HAD to go to the bathroom. I was in pain! So I thought if I just let a little leak out I’d be fine. Problem was, I couldn’t stop! The yellow stream flowed down the pew (it was the curved kind of pew, lower in the back) and the stream became a river, and flowed and flowed and flowed. The delayed reaction was like a domino effect. Women in silk dresses and mink stoles, and men in their best suits one-by-one leapt to attention as the stream continued all the way down the pew to the other side of the church. An entire row stood up (all but me) during the sermon, and alerted the nuns to a very localized problem.

The principal came running down the aisle, veil flying, grabbed me tightly by the arm, and angrily dragged me back the entire distance of the church, with a wet backside. I kept yelling “It’s okay, Sister! I don’t have to go anymore!” Imagine my mother watching the horror show from the sanctuary! I have no idea what the cleanup entailed…my mother mercifully shut off the movie camera. When I made my first communion the following year, there were no angels, and the nuns started asking before long events if anyone had to go to the bathroom.
 
hopefull said:
When I was in first grade Catholic school, I got to be an “angel” at the second graders’ First Communion. We practiced every day before the big day. I got to wear a floor length blue gown (other angels were in yellow, pink and green), carry a basket of rose petals, wear wings (I couldn’t lean against the back of the pew; it was very uncomfortable.) Just before leaving the school to march in procession, my Mom had taken her movie camera to the sanctuary to take pictures of our entry procession for the parish archives. The other girls’ mothers were attending to them at the school, but the nuns had agreed to take care of me. They arranged my halo, and checked my wings, but apparently the nuns didn’t know everything there was to know about getting little girls ready for a long high Mass with 50 first communicants.

There is a great home movie of me coming down the aisle, swinging the basket, throwing the rosebuds, a little too enthusiastically. Each angel sat at the end of a row, back with the families, behind all the first communicants. Sometime during the sermon, the problem occurred. I just HAD to go to the bathroom. I was in pain! So I thought if I just let a little leak out I’d be fine. Problem was, I couldn’t stop! The yellow stream flowed down the pew (it was the curved kind of pew, lower in the back) and the stream became a river, and flowed and flowed and flowed. The delayed reaction was like a domino effect. Women in silk dresses and mink stoles, and men in their best suits one-by-one leapt to attention as the stream continued all the way down the pew to the other side of the church. An entire row stood up (all but me) during the sermon, and alerted the nuns to a very localized problem.

The principal came running down the aisle, veil flying, grabbed me tightly by the arm, and angrily dragged me back the entire distance of the church, with a wet backside. I kept yelling “It’s okay, Sister! I don’t have to go anymore!” Imagine my mother watching the horror show from the sanctuary! I have no idea what the cleanup entailed…my mother mercifully shut off the movie camera. When I made my first communion the following year, there were no angels, and the nuns started asking before long events if anyone had to go to the bathroom.
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I think you win the prize for the most awkward moment during Mass! 😛 😃
 
Our parish advertised in the bulletin for adult and teen altar servers, useful for Midnight Mass or the Easter Vigil. The 4 adult servers that volunteered were quite tall; no way we would fit in the usual robes. My wife made us new ones, and we looked pretty spiffy. During the Easter Vigil at the time for the sign of peace, I went toward my family in the second row. A man in the first row beamed a great smile and offered “Peace, Father.” Somewhat at a loss, I returned the greeting and then proceeded to lean over him to kiss my wife. Later I realized what that must have looked like. He must have thought, “I need to go to Mass more often!”
 
Just last week an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion was positioned directly in front of us distributing the Sacred Body of Christ as we were kneeling in the front pew. For every single communicant he said very loudly, “The Blood of Christ.” (Our communion line goes from the rear of the Church first to the front.) When we finally went to him to receive, my four year old daughter said out loud, “he should be saying ‘The Body of Christ!’”
 
Cohibas said:
Just last week an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion was positioned directly in front of us distributing the Sacred Body of Christ as we were kneeling in the front pew. For every single communicant he said very loudly, “The Blood of Christ.” (Our communion line goes from the rear of the Church first to the front.) When we finally went to him to receive, my four year old daughter said out loud, “he should be saying ‘The Body of Christ!’”
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I was at Mass once when the priest was holding the ciborium during the offertory and said, “Blessed are You, Lord God of all creation, through Your goodness we have this wine to offer . . .”
 
beaverdad6 said:
Our parish advertised in the bulletin for adult and teen altar servers, useful for Midnight Mass or the Easter Vigil. The 4 adult servers that volunteered were quite tall; no way we would fit in the usual robes. My wife made us new ones, and we looked pretty spiffy. During the Easter Vigil at the time for the sign of peace, I went toward my family in the second row. A man in the first row beamed a great smile and offered “Peace, Father.” Somewhat at a loss, I returned the greeting and then proceeded to lean over him to kiss my wife. Later I realized what that must have looked like. He must have thought, “I need to go to Mass more often!”
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That’s classic! 😃
 
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