Awkward question for married couples

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ineedofmercy

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My apologies in advance but I’m a worrying person (recently turned 18)
And was wondering if for married Catholics
Does abstaining and NFP make sex not last very long?
I know it’s a weird question

But I’ve always worried that abstaining is already difficult when married but I worry that when you finally can have sex it’ll very short and awkward

Sorry again but I felt this was good place to ask it
You can move this to a correct section if necessary
 
Sorry
Just I worry that I’ll wait weeks for the right time with my wife in the future
And usually after a while I’ve heard it can very short and that just sound depressing to me
Not that I need very long but I just was wonder if the long wait makes it last less long
 
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“Stamina” is a varying scale between couples and can and does change. When we have practiced nfp or abstained post partum yes, the first time in the embrace is quicker than most. Then again the marital embrace in fertile times can also be shall we say full of enough chemistry and hormones to make a quick session…
Happy to add to the awkwardness.
 
It’s not depressing at all because there can be a longer session that day or the next if you wish. You find your own rhythm. Many women would never want a “marathon” anyway as it can be painful.
 
You probably won’t have to wait for weeks, except for right after having a baby. I think the longest consecutive wait we’ve had is eight or nine days.
 
This is actually comforting to hear
But during NFP depending on how many kids my future wife wants(or whatever laws are passed in future God forbid)
It might be longer 😂😂
But thank you to you and all other reponses for helping me learn here
 
That’s comforting to here
But depending on how strict NFP
We may not have the opportunity

I’m trying not to sound like a needy brat
But knowing my struggles I feel that I would Probs want to have a fair amount of it (I will of course need to be patient and control myself) but I just don’t want to have it be so short for sorta understandable reasons
 
You still seem to be confused. 8 consecutive days is probably the longest we’ve had to wait because of using NFP to avoid pregnancy. We haven’t had any surprises and we got pregnant exactly when we planned to all three times we tried. Other than the initial training period, you shouldn’t have to wait months between intercourse, even if you are being as strict as possible.
 
First thing, remember, using NFP to avoid is something that is done when there is a difficulty in your life. A physical, medical, emotional, financial, etc. problem that will not allow you to welcome children right now.

Other people struggle with infertility (seems to be more and more every day).

You could well go into marriage and not need to TTA. As Scripture tells us, do not worry about tomorrow, consider the lilies and the sparrows. Put it all in God’s hands. He gives you the grace you need when you need it, not a moment before 🙂
 
This.

There will be other times when you need to abstain (travel, work, military service, other illnesses like the flu, exhaustion, catastrophic health issues), so, learning to master your urges now will serve you well in marriage!
 
I didn’t think it would be months but I did think NFP would be about 2 weeks on average
So I’m glad to hear it’s not that long and works out 😃
 
What is TTA? (Forgive me for not knowing Lol)
I would be very accepting in my wife or I was infertile
We’d likely have fun trying and if we can’t conceive it’s not a problem
We need more people who will adopt 😃
In a weird way I would be happy with infertility because I’ve always felt bad for how painful pregnancy is for women
Plus adopting is a great charity and being infertile NFP wouldn’t be an issue
(Not saying anyone should try to be infertile that’s not good)
I’m not against having kids I just know I get attached to sex cuz I have and still do struggle with porn (making great victories recently though)
So I would assume I’d just like to have it somewhat often and not have problems with anyone

I would hope to be a good dad and if I’m having lots of kids I don’t mind have a little Catholic army (if I can support all of em that is😂)
 
Most likely not. I think when a woman is breastfeeding, it can mess up her readings so she might have to go back into “training mode” at that point, but most women aren’t immediately available post-partum anyway.
 
ineedofmercy said:
I didn’t think it would be months but I did think NFP would be about 2 weeks on average
So I’m glad to hear it’s not that long and works out 😃
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We were instructors in a program that encouraged us to “sell” small lengths of time as a plus. Yes. There are plenty of people who can get it down to 4 or 5 days. But there are also plenty of people who are 2 and even 3 weeks. Heres the thing. You wont know any of this until you have a wife. You wont know if it will be hard or easy to concieve, you dont know the cycles of the woman who will be your wife. You wont know what your own performance will be or your decision to employ nfp because that decision needs to be decided together. You may have a 4 day abstaining window or a 3 week one. Telling you otherwise is futile.
 
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Our friends have two sets of Irish twins. Her cycle returns in about 4 weeks PP. My wife’s is 8 months to a year.
 
I figured all that
One reason I’m glad Catholics only have it with their spouse is that they don’t get picky or think someone isn’t good enough (not saying it doesn’t but I believe it helps)
 
ineedofmercy said:
I’m not against having kids I just know I get attached to sex cuz I have and still do struggle with porn (making great victories recently though)
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Marriage will not cure the sin of using pornography. Please, gain mastery over your urges prior to becoming romantically involved, it is not fair to seek a wife to be your porn alternative.

Search these forums and read how many married people entered into marriage either unaware of the use of porn by their spouse-to-be or they thought that “he or she will change after we are married”. Read the pain and decide you will not do that to another human being.
 
I definitely wanna overcome this by then and I probably will be better by then

Recently I’ve hated the thought of it and porn (while still being tempted)

But I mean isn’t it partly a healthy desire?
I know part of it is selfish but I just feel like a terrible person constantly because of this

I know if I was married I’d likely be too shy to ask many days and leave it up to her

I believe every rule God has for this is good even though I still fall into the pain of withdrawl every now and then

Just sometimes I get upset at the thought of just controlling myself until I die and when I get to heaven theres none of that up there (maybe a replacement but who knows) but I won’t be able to feel disappointment if I’m in heaven so doesn’t matter
 
My son is about your age.

I wouldn’t waste time worrying about it until it actually is a problem.

Live your life one day at a time.

Today, you aren’t married, you don’t have a wife,you don’t have problems due to lack of marital intimacy.

Try to put those worries aside.
 
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