Awkward question for married couples

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It’s not appropriate to tell female friends about your porn issues and have them be accountability partners. It’s just not.
 
I’m sorry then I guess
It was kind of like helping each as Catholics thing
I help them with whatever troubles or sins they have too
And we’re friends and I trust them
 
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Hoosier-Daddy said:
A guy should not have girls as accountability partners for porn.
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Quoting because this is very important.

Modesty is about more than short skirts, it is about our words. A man discussing sexual sins with a woman would only be fitting if this woman were a trained Spiritual director or his mother/godmother.
 
The first person I told was my best friend who is a guy
But he couldn’t always respond to texts when I needed him

So when I realized I needed to tell someone else the people i trusted the most at this time were Him and some girls

It doesn’t matter if they’re guys or girls to me

I would gladly tell a guy over a girl because they’ll understand it better most times

But overall I don’t see how asking for help is wrong
I don’t go into details with anyone them
We just keep track of how many days I’ve been clean and I tell them when I wanna talk or play some game to distract myself
 
I don’t tell anyone of my friends it graphically because it’s not right and embarrassing

This is my usual text to them
“Hey I’m on Day 3 (of being clean) and I’m feeling some withdrawl so if you wanna talk or play something let me know”

My friends are usually just there as people I don’t wanna let down and that care about how far I go
I don’t tell them details it’s like a smoker and how many days they’ve gone without smoking

I really don’t see how this so bad and I feel awful that some of the people who help me aren’t supposed to apparently
 
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Simply find an accountability partner who is a man.

If you don’t know any solid Catholic men, ask your youth minister or your priest.

Is your godfather around where you could text/message him and ask him to be your accountability partner?
 
I currently only tell one guy and one girl
I tell them only the days I went without it and when I have to restart
I can’t find anything really immodest about it

I can’t at the moment talk to priests regularly (would love to but it’s so hard to do anything I want)
I wouldn’t be able to talk to my Godfather either and don’t really talk to him enough to do that (He’s funny guy but is out of state and we’ve never talked to much)

The way I’ve been doing things recently has helped me get further than have I have in a while
I think it would be a sin to stop knowing it could ruin my results
 
Guys can understand porn and mastirbation struggles better than women. If you cant see why texting a young lady you are struggling with temptation with porn so “let’s go do something” is a really dumb idea them you dont adequately understand your porn problem. The fact that you double down on the defense of this action is equally concerning. Women are incredibly victimized by porn and generally dont have a good grasp of the temptations men face. Dont do it. Just dont. Its inappropriate.
 
By do something I literally mean
Watch TV or play some video game online
(Note I never talk about it in person with anyone this all online)
Can women never help men with this?
There is no other intention behind telling them
Also since the girl already knows and is glad when I don’t watch it and go to confession
Do I just stop talking to her? How to do you think she would feel? Or I tell her someone online told me girls shouldn’t help me with this(she’d understand but be very confused)

I’ve never been told telling girls is wrong before this
People said to tell “trust worthy friends”
Girls can’t be that I guess :confused:

I’m not trying to be immodest and her telling me to put my phone away where I can’t get it has helped me avoid it

So wouldn’t it cause more harm to just leave it to one person who can’t always respond when I need help
I’ve only every told 4 people and only 1 is a girl
The others can’t help for complicated reasons
 
I get that guys understand better
If I have a problem only guys should talk about I don’t tell the girl

But is just telling the girl that “I made it a week thank you for your encouragement” really bad? I know it’s not sinful and it’s surely a blessing to overcome porn

To just disqualify her because she’s a girl (that I’m not dating and likely will never date) when she’s happy to help me regain control and get to confession
I get what your saying but this can’t be too bad
If it was or is I would stop
But I’m very careful and she just keeps track with me and tells me not to do it basically
And that helps me avoid

If I had another guy I trusted that way
I would tell him
But I don’t have that rn
 
That you keep defending it and can’t see the reality of the inappropriateness is concerning.

Do not involve women in your porn accountability struggles.
 
I guess I won’t anymore
Sorry for my large posts just that I actually trust this girl
She’ll likely be very confused and possibly think I caved into sin again

But if it’s so wrong to warrant this I won’t do it anymore
She was helpful though keep in mind and there was no inappropriate talk

But yeah I guess I’ll just hope I find another guy I trust and try to talk to my friend who knows

If not I’ll just deal with it on my own because now I know how wrong and evil it is to tell a girl that stuff (unless it’s my mom because that changes it but i don’t plan on telling her soon)

Thanks everyone for commenting
On this and the original question

I do hope you read my messages in full though
 
Sally, I feel I have been a bit out of line talking to you about sexual sin. From now on, l am going to keep that between me and my confessor/spiritual director. Hey, did you see that sunset last night!"
 
This person would likely respond something along the lines
“Oh don’t worry it’s not a big deal and doesn’t bother me. If you need to talk to me you can you’re not out of line but if you feel bad about you can stop talking about it”
Basically very understanding but not really seeing what the reason is (there isn’t really one)

Catholics are told to help others with their struggles with sin and help bear their burdens
…but not if you’re a girl and they’re a guy 😂😂

But yeah she’ll like understand but be worried as to why I’m saying it out of the blue
And be confused because it’s not a sin either
 
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