Babies At Mass

[netmilsmom]

Why don’t we ban the self-righteous from the Church? After, the Lord said He did come to save the hint,hint, sinners.

Oh geez, especially parents who don’t see that their children are disruptive.

We have a great parish where the parents know the limitations of the children. But let there be a baptism and suddenly, running, yelling and a general child hoedown can break out.
People visiting don’t get the sacred silence plaque on the door.

 

[netmilsmom]

Why aren’t children trained on “sit still” and “keep quiet” at home anymore?

Why do parents wait until they are right in the middle of the real life situation, before they even start to train their kids? It seems like a really high-stress method of training, to me.

Do they also drop their kids into the high-dive pool to teach them how to swim?

I expect kids to act up once in a while at Mass - that’s normal - but when hearing from parents, it sounds as though the only training the kids are getting is at the actual Mass itself - it doesn’t sound as though they are doing any practice drills at home, whatsoever.

Voice of Reason Alert!

spot on!

 

[cecilia97]

I have a friend who is blind. The babbling of children means he misses mass. His senses are heightened by making up for the one he is missing. Should he just focus?

Your friend is another of the inevitable exceptions to the rule which demonstrate why this debate will never be closed in our parishes.

All I’m saying is, everyone should be considerate.

I think that’s what most people on both sides of this thread are saying

If your child is making noise, stay in the back.

Yet another exception, what about the parent or child who is vision-impared?

But there should be no hint that someone is less than Christian if they can’t take the baby noise at Mass.

I agree…what I hinted at is that some people seem to have trouble focusing, which I believe is brought about in part by the way Americans live our lives lately…everyone supposed to “multitask”, be available via phone 24/7, etc. Concentration can be cultivated (I’m not including your blind friend in this criticism, obviously). Healthy, intellegent adults with 100% of their faculties should be able to focus more than most Americans do today.

cecilia

 

[CRW]

every single cry room that I have seen is a mess…the kids are running wild and the parents that are in there are at a loss as to what to do with their kids…no one can hear the mass at all in the room.
but in the mean time you are distracting everyone else that is in that crying room with you, IMHO.
if your kids need to know what the mass is about etc. that you sit in the crying room so you can have a running commentary for them…than perhaps the home is where you need to discuss these things with them.

I have seen similar crying rooms…still could not ehar anything of the mass though…between parents and kids chatting.

none of the infants, toddlers and other children at our parish disturb the mass.

my kids have never damaged anything in the church…they are humans not animals!! as a side note I have yet to see any kid in our parish do what oyu have just described!

Exactly…RESPECT!
Lets not lump all kiddies into the same group as these animals you ahve described…some of us parents do know how to make our kids behave in mass with out them ruining the place

So the answer is to bring them out of the crying room to do the same. If parents cannot or will not control their children in the crying room why do you think they will in the main church.

I was not specifically pointing a finger at you or your children but at the problem. It does not matter if you child did it or not, the damage is done. Ask any usher or sacristan or stay a few minutes after mass and take a walk trough the pews. I did not intend nor do I think I classified anyone as an animal. My post attempted to be a honest reflection based on actual experience. It is always the other children noise, isn’t it? For those that control their children, yes - there is no need for the crying room. This post concerns those that don’t.

 

[Tom317]

I wonder, if Jesus were saying Mass, would He complain about noisy children/babies?

 

[Tom317]

Why aren’t children trained on “sit still” and “keep quiet” at home anymore?

Why do parents wait until they are right in the middle of the real life situation, before they even start to train their kids? It seems like a really high-stress method of training, to me.

Do they also drop their kids into the high-dive pool to teach them how to swim?

I expect kids to act up once in a while at Mass - that’s normal - but when hearing from parents, it sounds as though the only training the kids are getting is at the actual Mass itself - it doesn’t sound as though they are doing any practice drills at home, whatsoever.

How many Mass preparation drills did you put your baby sons and daughters through? How many of your toddler, midchild and teen sons and daughters did you drill at home about the do’s and don’t do’s of Mass?

 

[netmilsmom]

How many Mass preparation drills did you put your baby sons and daughters through? How many of your toddler, midchild and teen sons and daughters did you drill at home about the do’s and don’t do’s of Mass?

I can’t count the number of trainings I did with my kids about what is acceptable and not in Holy Mass. Sometimes I still do it with my six year old.

If you want your child to know how to behave at an important dinner in a restaurant, you take them to family eateries for little dinners and train them how to act. Then when the big one comes, they know.

Jmcrae is absolutely correct!

 

[Tom317]

lets ban babies, children who make noise, old people who take too long walking to communion, people who’s hair is too big and block views, heck, let’s block tall people as they may detract from short people at mass. maybe we can weed out the people who can’t carry a note but try to sing anyway… and no bathroom breaks, even if you really have to go. hold it tilll after mass. ANNOYING!

lets make mass all about US… screaming overgrown adult-children who can’t take ANY noise without going into a fit of rage over their right to have mass their way because it’s all about them.

Babies at mass are fine. people who have a problem with it need to work on themselves.

Let’s also ban all those Catholics who force other Catholics to hold hands during the Our Father and give us dirty looks if we choose not to do so. Or ban those grown adult Catholics, many of them btw, who seem to think Church is a place to brzenly and loudly talk about all sorts of social subjects while Mass is being celebrated, or think chewing gum in Church is fine, or think wearing ratty clothing or provocative clothing is fine…or any number of other things that mature adults do that could rattle the cages of the righteous Catholics.

Of course, banning all of the above would remove about 90% of the people in the pews…but the righteous would have peace.

 

[Tom317]

I can’t count the number of trainings I did with my kids about what is acceptable and not in Holy Mass. Sometimes I still do it with my six year old.

If you want your child to know how to behave at an important dinner in a restaurant, you take them to family eateries for little dinners and train them how to act. Then when the big one comes, they know.

Jmcrae is absolutely correct!

There is no training for a baby, and precious little training one can do with toddlers regarding behairvor at Mass. I have six kids and my wife and I do the best we can, but there are NO drills for babies because they have no long term memory. Our only option, and one that we use a lot, is to remove the noisy child from the main body.

 

[JM_Pritchett]

Another poster posed this question and I have been unable to see a reply…

how was a lay person reading the epistle at a Tridentine Mass?

 

[netmilsmom]

There is no training for a baby, and precious little training one can do with toddlers regarding behairvor at Mass. I have six kids and my wife and I do the best we can, but there are NO drills for babies because they have no long term memory. Our only option, and one that we use a lot, is to remove the noisy child from the main body.

I agree with the baby statement but toddlers can be trained. You got them potty trained didn’t you?
Yes, from an early age we did the library (told to be quiet and look at books) and even movie theaters. They ARE drills whether you think of it or not.
You remove the noisy child from the main so in actuality, the OP is not talking about a family like yours.

 

[jmcrae]

How many Mass preparation drills did you put your baby sons and daughters through? How many of your toddler, midchild and teen sons and daughters did you drill at home about the do’s and don’t do’s of Mass?

We are now at the stage where we do reminders just before heading out to Mass, but yes, we have done “practice Masses” many times. Do they still act up? Yes, sometimes - but they are not at a loss, what it means to “put that away, fold your hands, and pay attention to the Mass, please,” and they do it.

 

[Tom317]

I agree with the baby statement but toddlers can be trained. You got them potty trained didn’t you?
Yes, from an early age we did the library (told to be quiet and look at books) and even movie theaters. They ARE drills whether you think of it or not.
You remove the noisy child from the main so in actuality, the OP is not talking about a family like yours.

Todllers aged 12-24 months are not easy to put through drills, they have little patience and little long term memory. Now, with that said, I do agree that children aged 3 and above should be showing signs of good behaivor during Mass, yet they are not robots and will often act up–and when the acting up is a problem the child should be removed until they calm down. Yet, the tone of this thread is one of rejecting children from Mass and yet Christ told us to let the children come to Him.

There is only one way for them to learn, they must go to Mass.

 

[Tom317]

We are now at the stage where we do reminders just before heading out to Mass, but yes, we have done “practice Masses” many times. Do they still act up? Yes, sometimes - but they are not at a loss, what it means to “put that away, fold your hands, and pay attention to the Mass, please,” and they do it.

How old are your kids? That has a great deal to do with this subject because very young children are not easily trainable. There are no baby drills, nor are there toddler drills, they do not even have reasonable long term memory until 17-24 months old. I have kids ranging from teens down to baby, and the young ones are the most difficult because they have had less time to experience the reallife training needed to behave well at Mass.

 

[Tom317]

I think we have to be very aware of the fact that we are living in a culture of death and that many Catholics have joined themselves to that culture…if we go about complaining about kids at Mass, that just adds to the culture, it does not convert the culture.

I would rather hear every Catholic Church filled with screaming babies, then have the quiet life-less temples many people are trying to build in this culture of death, a culture in which babies have become the enemy.

 

[Jennifer_J]

So really, you are not the kind of parent the OP is bringing to light, are you?

Thanks for dismissing me from the discussion…

Perhaps not on a good day, but really 5 children all in one pew can be a distraction, even then. The OP gave his side of the story, for all we know the parents DID handle it well and the OP is still grumpy about it. WE DON’T KNOW. We should give families–no ANYONE, the benefit of the doubt. We should try not to judge those actions that aren’t morally a problem. We should offer the distraction up in prayer or even pray for the child/family. We should take evasive action if we know we have distraction issues. We could talk to the Priest and have him address persistant disruptive problems. There are plenty of options besides telling all parents their children are horrible and their parenting is horrible and how dare they sit in front. That’s what I’ve picked up from the discussion. Anyone with children is “welcome” to sit in the cry room, in the back, anywhere where we can’t possible distract anyone at any time. Well, that’s not real life for our family and for most families with more than a few children. Most of the families at our parish are good about taking out the noisy child, but there are some who aren’t. We all seem to manage to cope on those Sundays. We attain graces even if we don’t hear EVERY word uttered–I know most Sundays I miss half of something because I’m helping a little one attend to Mass!

So give us all the benefit of the doubt and please be charitable on all sides…

Jennifer

 

[mom2boyz]

netmilmom

FYI I did train my children. Try to be less personal. You don’t know me and can’t make assumptions about my parenting. I frankly get compliment on how well behaved my children are in Mass. But the point is to some degree you have to ignore the misbehavior of young children. You are not their parent so you have no control. Do what you can which is pray for those children and their parents! If other children feed off it then that is the other parents problems. I think it is better to error on the side of Charity then assume that the parents aren’t parenting. Some children take longer and are harder and those parents don’t need more criticism. Mine did, but now look at the results.

 

[jmcrae]

How old are your kids? That has a great deal to do with this subject because very young children are not easily trainable. There are no baby drills, nor are there toddler drills, they do not even have reasonable long term memory until 17-24 months old. I have kids ranging from teens down to baby, and the young ones are the most difficult because they have had less time to experience the reallife training needed to behave well at Mass.

I don’t like to give specific information about my kids on-line, for privacy reasons - I hope you understand.

Are your teens and older children helping with the babies? The babies love to be just like their older siblings, so it really helps to have them sitting with the youngest ones and showing them how to behave.

Obviously I’m not expecting people to do drills with their newborns, but once they can sit up and take notice, it’s time to start training them in the civilized aspects of life, including how to go to Mass. Nor do I expect toddlers to get it perfect every single time - the occasional squeal is to be expected, but the OP is talking about a kid literally yelling throughout an entire Mass. Either he was in pain, (in which case, get him to the hospital and find out what’s wrong - caring for a sick child is a legitimate reason to miss Mass) or he was misbehaving the entire time - in my family, either one (leaving a child in pain, or leaving him without tangible, noticeable discipline) would be totally unacceptable.

 

[Cranch]

…Yet, the tone of this thread is one of rejecting children from Mass and yet Christ told us to let the children come to Him.…

I believe the tone of this thread is more acurately described as rejecting the behavior of parents who refuse to control routinely disruptive children. And no, by routinely I do not mean the occasional shriek of a toddler or cry of an infant.

 

[Jennifer_J]

I believe the tone of this thread is more acurately described as rejecting the behavior of parents who refuse to control routinely disruptive children. And no, by routinely I do not mean the occasional shriek of a toddler or cry of an infant.

The OP asked at the end of the post whether babies should be BANNED from Mass. yikes very welcoming. Re-read the original post and what happened. It sounds like the OP doesn’t regularly attend there and only sees this family once a month, not sure, not very clear. The OP is certainly sitting in judgment of the parents, the child, etc without knowing the full circumstances. Perhaps the child has special needs? Who knows, pray for them and go on with life. Attend a different liturgy, sit somewhere else, ask them if they need help??? I’m sure there are plenty of options besides getting angry at either the child OR the parents.

Jennifer