Babies At Mass

[Marauder]

Ahhh…I must have touched a sore nerve. Because your statements were ridiculous and it needed to be said that they were. How you can make comparisons about misbehaving children and people who cough or who are on respirators was nonsense and too bad you cannot see it.

You have not touched a nerve with me. I am happy to see that you have appointed yourself judge of ridiculous statements on the forum. Like to judge do we.

I was showing how ridiculuous it is to segregate ANYONE. If you like the cry room so much sit in there through Mass. Like I said if you don’t like what I say hit the ignore button, if you don’t think it is appropriate for the forum hit the report button.

Keep you mind on the Mass not the other people at Mass. If it isn’t your child, unless something major (i.e. kid getting left at Mass with no parrent) is going on don’t worry about it, leave it to the parents.

Like to justify judgemental behavior do we. You aren’t just judging the behavior you are judging the parents, there is a difference.

 

[BlyssfulDreamer]

You have not touched a nerve with me. I am happy to see that you have appointed yourself judge of ridiculous statements on the forum. Like to judge do we.

I was showing how ridiculuous it is to segregate ANYONE. If you like the cry room so much sit in there through Mass. Like I said if you don’t like what I say hit the ignore button, if you don’t think it is appropriate for the forum hit the report button.

Keep you mind on the Mass not the other people at Mass. If it isn’t your child, unless something major (i.e. kid getting left at Mass with no parrent) is going on don’t worry about it, leave it to the parents.

Like to justify judgemental behavior do we.

I was just trying to be helpful to you as it seemed to me that you did not realize how silly your statements were. I don’t believe anywhere in this thread have I or anyone else stated that the sound of a person’s respirator was a bother or a person with a cough. It appears that you seem to be able to equate those incidents with unruly and misbehaving children…or you are not able to see the difference.

I keep my mind on Mass **even when **children are acting out and ignoring their behavior is what you seem to think everyone should do. I guess it makes the “job” of parenting them easier.

You are also welcome at any time to ignore my comments, I really don’t care. I stand by what I said…

:heart:Blyss

 

[netmilsmom]

Like to justify judgemental behavior do we. You aren’t just judging the behavior you are judging the parents, there is a difference.

Um, you are judging her.
When she SAYS that she is not judging the parents but rather their behavior, you are either judging the poster or stating that she is lying. Neither of which is very Christian.

What goes around comes around. When we judge the person who looks with distain, we are asking to be judged ourselves.

Personally, I think we should reverse the situation. If a cryroom is soundproof, let those of us who are disturbed by undisciplined children go there. Pipe in the throatmike of the priest and let the kids have the main.
I bet tons of people would be happy with that situation. I know when I was single I would have loved to have only the sound of the priest coming to me.

 

[Karianne]

You must of missed the

Also by including the Mass in a child’s life from the very beginning, it is a real part of their life. If you wait till the age of reason which is at 8 or 9, then Mass becomes in the same category as school… you have to go.

 

[Karianne]

You have not touched a nerve with me. I am happy to see that you have appointed yourself judge of ridiculous statements on the forum. Like to judge do we.

I was showing how ridiculuous it is to segregate ANYONE. If you like the cry room so much sit in there through Mass. Like I said if you don’t like what I say hit the ignore button, if you don’t think it is appropriate for the forum hit the report button.

Keep you mind on the Mass not the other people at Mass. If it isn’t your child, unless something major (i.e. kid getting left at Mass with no parrent) is going on don’t worry about it, leave it to the parents.

Like to justify judgemental behavior do we. You aren’t just judging the behavior you are judging the parents, there is a difference.

You should have read her rebuttal with less tension. I see exactly what she is talking about.
She wasn’t judging your words, just making a comment on whether or not she sees your findings as valid.

 

[JMJDevotee]

Wow, it is getting a little heated here…let us all keep in mind that we are all God’s Children. We all need to share His love with each other. It is our calling. As my mom said to me and my 3 sisters growning up, “If you can’t speak in love, don’t speak at all.” (and of course being a teenager, I would always :yawn

Before anyone starts with the whole “we are only disagreeing”…remember the word “judging” is being thrown around a lot. :tsktsk: Our job is not to judge one another but to keep one another on the right path. We can do that without judging. We can do it in love and compassion.

Just food for thought.

Pax Vobiscum

 

[netmilsmom]

Before anyone starts with the whole “we are only disagreeing”…remember the word “judging” is being thrown around a lot. :tsktsk: Our job is not to judge one another but to keep one another on the right path. We can do that without judging. We can do it in love and compassion.

 

[Marauder]

Um, you are judging her.
When she SAYS that she is not judging the parents but rather their behavior, you are either judging the poster or stating that she is lying.

Sorry but the following statement by her is judging the parents. There is no reading into it or judging of her.

It also doesn’t take a brain surgeon to see parents who would rather not deal with their children and who would rather let them become the problem of the other parishioners and I would bet they are the problems of their neighbors too. People who do not make the effort to teach their children how to properly behave at Mass are usually the same people who do not feel there is any reason to make them behave in society.

Those statements are making huge assumptions on the part of the parents.

Personally, I think we should reverse the situation. If a cryroom is soundproof, let those of us who are disturbed by undisciplined children go there. Pipe in the throatmike of the priest and let the kids have the main.
I bet tons of people would be happy with that situation. I know when I was single I would have loved to have only the sound of the priest coming to me.

Fine, when you go into those rooms you will find out just how bad they are for viewing the Mass. Maybe some churches may have good ones, but every one I have seen are pretty nasty, because of little ventalation, small, and poor sound system.

 

[Marian_Carroll]

**Ladies & Gentlemen:

A cautionary note…let us not digress into one on one argumentation. Let us stay on the topic – this keeps the thread open, the discussion flowing and the feelings friendly!
**

 

[Marauder]

You should have read her rebuttal with less tension. I see exactly what she is talking about.
She wasn’t judging your words, just making a comment on whether or not she sees your findings as valid.

a) You are assuming I am tense or upset. I don’t ever let a bulleten board discussion upset me.
b) You must have missed the following quote, she is not only judging my words but judging me.

I think you are being slightly ridiculous…which is usually the tactic when a person does not actually have anything to add to the discussion.

My statements there were an OBVIOUS attempt to make people realize that MANY people at Mass do things that disturb others. There is no reason to single out kids. We should not be sitting there judging the people that are disturbing us, we should be busy worshipping God pure and simple. Sitting there stewing over the person that is disturbing us, or sitting there thinking how you would do things differently if you were the parent is entirely counterproductive. You should be worshipping God or at least praying for the person. Leave the judging of the behavior to people that can actually do something about it, like the parents, the priest, the pastor, etc.

 

[netmilsmom]

Sorry but the following statement by her is judging the parents. There is no reading into it or judging of her.

I’m reading it differently than you.

Those statements are making huge assumptions on the part of the parents.

Unless it is an again and again problem. Then it’s past an assumption that something is wrong or lacking. It is very obvious.

Fine, when you go into those rooms you will find out just how bad they are for viewing the Mass. Maybe some churches may have good ones, but every one I have seen are pretty nasty, because of little ventalation, small, and poor sound system.

I’ve attended Holy Mass in four cryrooms, two in Cleveland and two here in Detroit. I’ve seen many others including down in Florida. Honestly, I’ve yet to find them lacking. So our experiences are different.
That doesn’t make either of them wrong, just different.

So we have to also give the benefit of the doubt to those who are seeing parents in a different light than we do. Their experiences may be different from our own. Parents who continually ignore the behavior of their children deserve better than patience and prayer. They deserve instruction.

How can each of us help?

 

[Karin]

Parents who continually ignore the behavior of their children deserve better than patience and prayer. They deserve instruction.

How can each of us help?

I think you anwsered you own question (see bold)

We need to open our mouths directly to these parents and tell them what is going on isnot acceptable and state the reasons…sitting their and not saying anything to them is not helping anybody…so stop being chicken (not you netmilsmon)and open your mouths to these repeat offenders and say something!!!

 

[netmilsmom]

(not you netmil(name removed by moderator))

I didn’t think so.

Oh and BTW, if anyone is in my parish and needs some alone time during Holy Mass, give me the baby. I’ll walk the back of the church. I love babies!

 

[dranzal]

We are a young parish and have Mass in a high school cafeteria. On days when we have CCD and all the kids are present (yes I know they should always be present–different topic), the behavior of everyone, including many parents and teens suffers. The choir leader has had to shush the whole congregation at times.

Regarding cry rooms. In the churches I’ve attended that had them, they were chit chat rooms for the grown ups and play rooms for the kids. In a perfect world, I would use the cry room to teach my toddlers how to behave and sit still in Mass. In these cry rooms, they would only learn that if they want to play, go to the cry room where all the mommies chat.

I sit with my four children in the front row. That way, they can see Fr. and cannot see any misbehaving youngsters giving them bad ideas. Not only do I keep them in line, I routinely instruct them very quietly–(whispering) “now you bow” or “now it’s Jesus”.

Incidentally, at the confession service there were only three families with children and two of them were homeschoolers:thumbsup: .

 

[Mommyof02green]

I sit with my four children in the front row. That way, they can see Fr. and cannot see any misbehaving youngsters giving them bad ideas. Not only do I keep them in line, I routinely instruct them very quietly–(whispering) “now you bow” or “now it’s Jesus”.

That sounds a lot like us. Although we only have 2 kids and we sit 3-5 pews from the front. There are a few kids in front of ours. However they are sitting in the “front” for the same reasons we are…

1. So the kids can see Fr and what is going on
2. So they can learn what Mass is about and be less likely to be influence by other children who are not “listening”

I tend to say things like “It prayer time so knell”; “Shh…Fr is talking so we listen” or “Shh… She/He is reading from the ‘Bible’”. (I say that to my kids when the Lector is reading one of the readings)

And yes I know the Lectors don’t actually read from the Bible. I know the book they are using is the Lectionary. However the readings are Bible Passages and do come from Scripture (The Bible). My kids are 4 and 5 and I think it’s more important for them to know that the passages are the Word of God and come from the Bible then it is to know the name of the book Lector is using.

 

[netmilsmom]

That sounds a lot like us. Although we only have 2 kids and we sit 3-5 pews from the front. There are a few kids in front of ours. However they are sitting in the “front” for the same reasons we are…

1. So the kids can see Fr and what is going on
2. So they can learn what Mass is about and be less likely to be influence by other children who are not “listening” I tend to say things like “It prayer time so knell”; “Shh…Fr is talking so we listen” or “Shh… She/He is reading from the ‘Bible’”.

Your post and the post above is what all of us WANT to hear at Holy Mass. God Love the both of you!
Parents like you give us all hope of good strong Catholics in the future.

 

[BlyssfulDreamer]

Marauder…

I am not judging the parents. They may be very good parents…I am making observations about how they react with their children at Mass when the children are misbehaving. I do not judge…but I have 2 eyes and 2 ears and I can make observations. If the children are running the show and disrupting everyone around them and Mom and Dad are sitting on their hands or twiddling their thumbs it tells me that they are not interested in making their children behave…and if they do not think it is important to make them behave at Mass, I wonder how much they expect of them when they are out in public.

I have said before…it is very EASYto tell the parents who are really trying and I applaud them…but on the other hand…it is very EASY to see the parents who don’t want to bother and it is those folks where I have a big problem.

:heart:Blyss

 

[BlyssfulDreamer]

a) You are assuming I am tense or upset. I don’t ever let a bulleten board discussion upset me.
b) You must have missed the following quote, she is not only judging my words but judging me.

My statements there were an OBVIOUS attempt to make people realize that MANY people at Mass do things that disturb others. There is no reason to single out kids. should be worshipping God or at least praying for the person. .

Marauder…I will say it again…I am not judging anyone. I certainly am not saying that YOU are ridiculous, but I have to admit your statements were. There are those at Mass who might “disturb” you with a cough…which is usually involuntary or a person with a respirator…but to equate them with the misbehavior of children is totally comparing apples to oranges and not a basis for comparison at all. If you feel kids are being singled out it is because it is their behavior that is under the control of their parents. I have had a time where I had an extremely bad cough due to a sinus infection and I changed my Mass attendance for two reasons…I didn’t know if it was a contagious thing and also because my coughing might disrupt those around me. I also cough when incense is used…something I can hardly do anything about…but if I start to cough uncontrollably I will step out into the Narthex. If you are going to make comparisons…it would make it more plausible if they were something you could even compare.

:heart:Blyss

 

[BlyssfulDreamer]

I think you anwsered you own question (see bold)

We need to open our mouths directly to these parents and tell them what is going on isnot acceptable and state the reasons…sitting their and not saying anything to them is not helping anybody…so stop being chicken (not you netmilsmon)and open your mouths to these repeat offenders and say something!!!

I am hardly what you would call a chicken if you were referring to me…but I have mentioned to a parent when their child almost run me over with a grocery cart (I can’t move that fast) and was told to"go to **** and MYOB." I would love to tell the parents of some of these children that their kids behavior is not acceptable but I am not about to be chastised by parents who think their children aren’t doing anything wrong in the first place.

:heart:Blyss

 

[Karin]

I am hardly what you would call a chicken if you were referring to me

not at all…if I was talking about you I would say so

…but I have mentioned to a parent when their child almost run me over with a grocery cart (I can’t move that fast) and was told to"go to **** and MYOB." I would love to tell the parents of some of these children that their kids behavior is not acceptable but I am not about to be chastised by parents who think their children aren’t doing anything wrong in the first place.

:heart:Blyss

then perhaps mention it to the usher or the Priest…let them talk with the parents