Baby Funeral Question

[alarmman]

****The church teaches life begins at conception.

CCC 2274 Since it must be treated from conception as a person, the embryo must be defended in its integrity, cared for, and healed, as far as possible, like any other human being.

The Pro life movements within the Catholic Church, such as the recent 40 days for life, emphasize that indeed this is a precious life.

Why then are there not formally funeral services, upon the death of an unborn infant?

CCC 1684 The Christian funeral is a liturgical celebration of the Church. The ministry of the Church in this instance aims at expressing efficacious communion with the deceased, at the participation in that communion of the community gathered for the funeral, and at the proclamation of eternal life to the community.

 

[Phemie]

The church teaches life begins at conception.

CCC 2274 Since it must be treated from conception as a person, the embryo must be defended in its integrity, cared for, and healed, as far as possible, like any other human being.

The Pro life movements within the Catholic Church, such as the recent 40 days for life, emphasize that indeed this is a precious life.

Why then are there not formally funeral services, upon the death of an unborn infant?

CCC 1684 The Christian funeral is a liturgical celebration of the Church. The ministry of the Church in this instance aims at expressing efficacious communion with the deceased, at the participation in that communion of the community gathered for the funeral, and at the proclamation of eternal life to the community.

There are funerals for stillborn babies but it depends on the family and in many case the gestational age of the child.

When I miscarried at 3 months it never occurred to me to have a funeral or even a burial. I saw the fetus in the specimen jar after I woke up, said good-bye and accepted that the remains would be cremated after the pathology lab had done whatever it had to do.

 

[1ke]

Why then are there not formally funeral services, upon the death of an unborn infant?

I’m not sure why you believe there aren’t funerals for stillborn or misscaried infants. Certainly there are.

 

[Mintaka]

Also, even if there are no remains of the child and thus no coffin, it’s still possible to have a memorial service and to put up a memorial to the child (what’s technically called a cenotaph).

 

[Antegin]

On the medical professional side, we have always been taught not to engage in “naming” the baby or discussing the parents plans for the child. We don’t even talk about a"child" until the 3rd trimester.

I have known hospital staff to treat the remains like biopsy tissue, never giving the parents the option to bury their child -never giving them the option to properly grieve their loss. Some will say it saves the parents grief. I think it it lets the hospital staff live in denial about losing a child-patient.(Don’t let the professional exterior fool you: losing patients gets to hospital staff, especially when its a child. )

I have heard different things from parents who have lost preborn children about how they feel about this practice. I have yet to hear a parent say “This helped me deal with the death of my child…”

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

The church teaches life begins at conception.

CCC 2274 Since it must be treated from conception as a person, the embryo must be defended in its integrity, cared for, and healed, as far as possible, like any other human being.

The Pro life movements within the Catholic Church, such as the recent 40 days for life, emphasize that indeed this is a precious life.

Why then are there not formally funeral services, upon the death of an unborn infant?

CCC 1684 The Christian funeral is a liturgical celebration of the Church. The ministry of the Church in this instance aims at expressing efficacious communion with the deceased, at the participation in that communion of the community gathered for the funeral, and at the proclamation of eternal life to the community.

There is a funeral liturgy for an un-Baptized infant. It is different from that of a Baptized infant. Maybe the person is thinking that the funeral reflects on the persons Baptism and because the not yet born infant isn’t Baptized there can’t be a funeral.

Well their are wrong, there is a funeral for an un-Baptized infant.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Also, even if there are no remains of the child and thus no coffin, it’s still possible to have a memorial service and to put up a memorial to the child (what’s technically called a cenotaph).

and theologically called a person.

 

[Phemie]

On the medical professional side, we have always been taught not to engage in “naming” the baby or discussing the parents plans for the child. We don’t even talk about a"child" until the 3rd trimester.

I have known hospital staff to treat the remains like biopsy tissue, never giving the parents the option to bury their child -never giving them the option to properly grieve their loss. Some will say it saves the parents grief. I think it it lets the hospital staff live in denial about losing a child-patient.(Don’t let the professional exterior fool you: losing patients gets to hospital staff, especially when its a child. )

I have heard different things from parents who have lost preborn children about how they feel about this practice. I have yet to hear a parent say “This helped me deal with the death of my child…”

I was a nurse and I guess I reacted in the way I’d been trained.

First when I figured out that I was likely having a spontaneous abortion I rationalized that a large percentage of pregnancies end that way and that it often has something to do with anomalies but sometimes it’s just unexplained. I even said to DH & my mom, “This is probably for the best.”

When I awoke after the D&C the first thing I asked was to see the baby and they brought it (I never knew if it was a boy or a girl) to me with my name on the jar so that I would have no doubt. Once I was satisfied that I had indeed aborted and was definitely no longer pregnant I was able to let go and return my attention to the toddler waiting for me at home. I remember being sad for a few days but I don’t recall grief, at least not how I’d define grief. I’d learned a few years earlier that Mom had also had a pregnancy end that way when I was 2 or 3. It had never been mentioned until I was in my early 20s and it was made to seem like no big deal. Maybe I took my cue from her.

 

[Guitar]

There is a funeral liturgy for an un-Baptized infant. It is different from that of a Baptized infant. Maybe the person is thinking that the funeral reflects on the persons Baptism and because the not yet born infant isn’t Baptized there can’t be a funeral.

Well their are wrong, there is a funeral for an un-Baptized infant.

Br Rich is way more knowledgeable than I, but this is the conclusion I also came to in looking through the documents when responding to someone on another forum who stated (wrongly) that the churches didn’t have funerals for unborn babies and that this was “proof” their anti-abortion stance was illogical. I couldn’t find any distinction between born and unborn, only between baptised and unbaptised. There have been plenty of funerals for pre-term babies in our church and at the local crematoria and cemetery.

 

[Jolly_Joe]

My wife’s sister was a fullterm stillborn child. They had a funeral and everything and then she had to be buried outside the fence next to the suicides in unconsecrated ground since she had not be baptized. She was not permitted to be buried next to her family.

JJ

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

My wife’s sister was a fullterm stillborn child. They had a funeral and everything and then she had to be buried outside the fence next to the suicides in unconsecrated ground since she had not be baptized. She was not permitted to be buried next to her family.

JJ

Today that practice is no longer observed. It is unfortunate that it was ever observed.

 

[Jolly_Joe]

Yes, the Catholic Church at least in the United States has gotten a lot looser about who maybe buried in the cemetary. Must have been all those nonCatholic spouses, but the funeral for a nonbaptized child is still at the discretion of the legate, he may hold it, he doesn’t have to. Canon law 1183.2.

JJ

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

An interesting note fromCatholics United for Faith: cuf.org/Faithfacts/details_view.asp?ffID=264

 

[jbebeau]

The Church does permit funerals for miscarried infants:

Order of Christian Funerals (Canadian Edition), no. 425:

Funeral rites may be celebrated for children whose parents intended them to be baptized but who died before baptism. In these celebrations the Christian community entrusts the child to God’s all-embracing love and finds strength in this love and in Jesus’ affirmation that the kingdom of God belongs to the little children (see Matthew 19:14).

Further more, the Order of Christian Funerals (Canadian Edition), includes a special Collect for a stillborn child:

Lord God,
ever caring and gentle,
we commit to your love this little one,
quickened to life for so short a time.
Enfold him/her in eternal life.
We pray for his/her parents
who are saddened by the loss of their baby.
Give them courage
and help then in their pain and grief.
May they all meet one day
in the joy and peace of your kingdom.
We ask this . . .

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Yes, the Catholic Church at least in the United States has gotten a lot looser about who maybe buried in the cemetary. Must have been all those nonCatholic spouses, but the funeral for a nonbaptized child is still at the discretion of the legate, he may hold it, he doesn’t have to. Canon law 1183.2.

JJ

That may be correct, however it will generally be based on if the child could have been Baptized, and the parents failed to Baptize the child. OR if the child died in circumstances where Baptism was not possible.

 

[Fidelia]

and theologically called a person.

the cenotaph is the name of the monument, not what the child is being called.
cen·o·taph –noun a sepulchral monument erected in memory of a deceased person whose body is buried elsewhere.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

the cenotaph is the name of the monument, not what the child is being called.
cen·o·taph –noun a sepulchral monument erected in memory of a deceased person whose body is buried elsewhere.

Ok, I learned something new! I hear all these medical terms all the time for the baby when people don’t want to call it a child. The word looked like a new medical term to me.

 

[Phemie]

Ok, I learned something new! I hear all these medical terms all the time for the baby when people don’t want to call it a child. The word looked like a new medical term to me.

To me a cenotaph only refers to the monument put up in memory of deceased soldiers. We do our November 11 ‘Remembrance Day’ celebrations at the cenotaph which is usually located in the town square, or in this town, right in front of the Legion Hall. I’ve never heard of any other memorial referred to in this way, but that may well be a cultural thing. Something erected in memory of a child or other person would simply be a monument or marker.

 

[Naztakuan]

To me a cenotaph only refers to the monument put up in memory of deceased soldiers. We do our November 11 ‘Remembrance Day’ celebrations at the cenotaph which is usually located in the town square, or in this town, right in front of the Legion Hall. I’ve never heard of any other memorial referred to in this way, but that may well be a cultural thing. Something erected in memory of a child or other person would simply be a monument or marker.

Actually other countries have similar practices where there is little land to bury well…anone, They cremate the remains, either bury the ashes, put them in a shrine, or just erect a monument. I know in some asian countries where abortion is more common, like in teens who have abortions, The doctor disposes of the child but usually the mother will put up a shrine or monument comemorating the child.
It is my understanding at least in my experience in Japan, that many consider the unborn child a person with a soul, but societal pressures do no support unwed mothers so they abort. Abortion has been practiced and accepted in asia for alot longer than it has in the west. So they have integrated more practices to deal with comemorating infants since it’s more ingrained in their culture.
Believe it or not the United states probably performs less abortions than say…Russia or China or Japan. But that’s a topic for another day

 

[catherineajt]

My sister in law has had two early miscarriages, and each time she was able to have a burial in consecrated ground. From what I understand it is not a sin if this is NOT done, but some priests are harder to convince to do the Mass and burial than others.