Baby names and family opinions

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As some of you guys have seen in my signature…hubby and I are expecting baby number 2 around the end of November. 👍

In about 3-4 weeks we will find out the gender. If it’s a boy, we have a name picked out that we both agree on and this post will be a mute point.

If it’s a girl…then things will start to get a little complicated…hence this thread.

The first problem is that hubby and I cannot agree on a name. We both have our own ideas we like and each dislikes the other’s ideas.

I’m kinda hoping he will cave for me because he picked out our daughter’s name and our potential son’s name. I just happened to love them both.

The second problem lies with the fact that he has about 30 some-odd first cousins…many with children of their own…and I can’t seem to bring up a name I would love to give my child without hearing a “well…so-and-so cousin has named her daughter that” or “that’s so-and-so’s name.”

I had dreamed of naming my daughter Paige since childhood and fully expected that would be the name we’d use when I found out we were pregnant.
I ended up caving to pressure from him and his family because he had a cousin named Paige…a cousin I have never met and still haven’t met to this day…even though our daughter is now 15 months. Her middle name is Page.

Now, I love the name Claire…but once again…I’m feeling the pressure because another cousin named her daughter Claire. I have yet to meet this cousin as well…despite the fact that these people live nearby.

I told everyone I really don’t care what they think. They are popular names for one…but they are names I love.

Am I being unreasonable? Would this be a situation where you’d say “no way…someone else in the family has this name” or would you still name your child a name you love…despite it already being in the family?
 
Maybe you could name her Clarissa, a varient of the name Claire.
 
Extended cousin’s kids don’t count!!! 😛
And regardless, you could always just respond positively with - “Well, we’ve just always loved that name too! We both have great taste!!” :D:thumbsup:
 
Kelfa28 said:
As some of you guys have seen in my signature…hubby and I are expecting baby number 2 around the end of November. 👍

In about 3-4 weeks we will find out the gender. If it’s a boy, we have a name picked out that we both agree on and this post will be a mute point.

If it’s a girl…then things will start to get a little complicated…hence this thread.

The first problem is that hubby and I cannot agree on a name. We both have our own ideas we like and each dislikes the other’s ideas.

I’m kinda hoping he will cave for me because he picked out our daughter’s name and our potential son’s name. I just happened to love them both.

The second problem lies with the fact that he has about 30 some-odd first cousins…many with children of their own…and I can’t seem to bring up a name I would love to give my child without hearing a “well…so-and-so cousin has named her daughter that” or “that’s so-and-so’s name.”

I had dreamed of naming my daughter Paige since childhood and fully expected that would be the name we’d use when I found out we were pregnant.
I ended up caving to pressure from him and his family because he had a cousin named Paige…a cousin I have never met and still haven’t met to this day…even though our daughter is now 15 months. Her middle name is Page.

Now, I love the name Claire…but once again…I’m feeling the pressure because another cousin named her daughter Claire. I have yet to meet this cousin as well…despite the fact that these people live nearby.

I told everyone I really don’t care what they think. They are popular names for one…but they are names I love.

Am I being unreasonable? Would this be a situation where you’d say “no way…someone else in the family has this name” or would you still name your child a name you love…despite it already being in the family?
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I think you are being completely reasonable, because from what it sounds like, random cousin Claire is not involved in your lives and thus should not have such considerable sway over what you name your child. Secondly, instead of getting all up-and-arms as these cousins seem to be, perhaps they could think of it as a sort of tribute. If I knew that one of my cousins was naming their child “Al,” I really wouldn’t think much of it or maybe (depending on which cousin it is), I might even be flattered that they like me/my name and would choose it for their child. 🤷 I don’t really understand why these cousins would make such a big deal considering that it is your choice and it doesn’t affect them in the slightest. Stick to your opinions! I think Claire is a beautiful name, by the way, and congratulations on you upcoming bundle of joy. 🙂
 
If I really loved the name, I would give it to my child. Especially if you never met the child or the child’s mother. Now, if you were really good friends with the mom and she had her baby shortly before yours, it would be different. But that is not the case
 
Well, you can tell them Johann Sebastian Bach had about six or eight Johanns in his family, and somehow they worked it out. There are only so many saints on the calendar, and you’re not too fond of the name Gwynnin, which may be the only female saints’ name the extended family hasn’t used yet. 😃

Make sure you don’t pick the same middle name as the cousin and tell the family you have a family nickname picked out for your Claire, so that the two will always be kept straight. Alternatively, you can also name her Clairice or some other longer variant and let her go by Claire. “Ooops…gee, well, we tried to name her something a little different.” :rolleyes: 😃
 
Kelfa28 said:
As some of you guys have seen in my signature…hubby and I are expecting baby number 2 around the end of November. 👍

In about 3-4 weeks we will find out the gender. If it’s a boy, we have a name picked out that we both agree on and this post will be a mute point.

If it’s a girl…then things will start to get a little complicated…hence this thread.

The first problem is that hubby and I cannot agree on a name. We both have our own ideas we like and each dislikes the other’s ideas.

I’m kinda hoping he will cave for me because he picked out our daughter’s name and our potential son’s name. I just happened to love them both.

The second problem lies with the fact that he has about 30 some-odd first cousins…many with children of their own…and I can’t seem to bring up a name I would love to give my child without hearing a “well…so-and-so cousin has named her daughter that” or “that’s so-and-so’s name.”

I had dreamed of naming my daughter Paige since childhood and fully expected that would be the name we’d use when I found out we were pregnant.
I ended up caving to pressure from him and his family because he had a cousin named Paige…a cousin I have never met and still haven’t met to this day…even though our daughter is now 15 months. Her middle name is Page.

Now, I love the name Claire…but once again…I’m feeling the pressure because another cousin named her daughter Claire. I have yet to meet this cousin as well…despite the fact that these people live nearby.

I told everyone I really don’t care what they think. They are popular names for one…but they are names I love.

Am I being unreasonable? Would this be a situation where you’d say “no way…someone else in the family has this name” or would you still name your child a name you love…despite it already being in the family?
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Oh goodness, a big family that has already taken all the good names!

I have a large family, too, and I feel your pain. One of my aunts alone has seven children, and each of them (minus the youngest, who has yet to marry), has at least three children each. That’s 24 kids alone! One of my cousin’s name is Mary, and well, how can you claim the Blessed Virgin’s name all to yourself? I think not! I am a big fan of Mary, and I am trying to convince my husband to use it for our future child (no luck yet, though :p)

One of my cousins used the name John for her son’s name, which is also the name of her sister’s husband. It’s spelled differently (the husband’s name is Jon), but even if it weren’t I don’t think it would matter. There are only so many good names, and people just can’t claim them for their own! Especially if it is a family name, then there is no way that people can claim the name for themselves and not share.

Remember, also the middle name. You are giving the name with what I assume to be a different middle name, so that makes it different 🙂 To make it more different you could spell it differently (if the name has an common alternate spelling, of course).
 
I suggested Clarissa because of my own family history. My mom and her mil were both pregnant at the same time and both wanted to name their daughter, if they had a daughter, the same name (actually, it was more my dad than my mom’s wish since mom wanted to name me Ramona just because she liked the name). Anyway, I was born first so I got the preferred name. When my aunt was born they named her another version of the same name, so we both have the same nickname but different given names. We’ve found it funny over the years and laugh about it now.
 
Wow, lots of replies already. Thank-you.

It’s not really the cousins themselves that are up-in-arms. Frankly, I have no idea if any of these people think I’m even pregnant. For that matter, I don’t think some of them even know we have a child anyway.

It’s my MIL, SIL and, to a small extent, my husband…who have been voicing their opinions on the matter. Hubby has recently caved to my side somewhat. He does feel bad that he quickly shot down my favorite girls name so quickly based soley on the fact that he had a cousin named Paige. A cousin I’ve never met and he hasn’t seen in quite a long time. But, my MIL and SIL just don’t get the fact that we just don’t see these people…ever!

I was thinking about name variants. I’m not a big fan of Clarissa but Clara is pretty…but I feel like I’m compromising too much. It’s either Claire or something totally different.

If we do meet any of these cousins…I will absolutely be poliet and say “well, we just really love that name!” It’s just weird I’m getting it from direct family I see very frequently.
 
Kelfa28 said:
Wow, lots of replies already. Thank-you.

It’s not really the cousins themselves that are up-in-arms. Frankly, I have no idea if any of these people think I’m even pregnant. For that matter, I don’t think some of them even know we have a child anyway.

It’s my MIL, SIL and, to a small extent, my husband…who have been voicing their opinions on the matter. Hubby has recently caved to my side somewhat. He does feel bad that he quickly shot down my favorite girls name so quickly based soley on the fact that he had a cousin named Paige. A cousin I’ve never met and he hasn’t seen in quite a long time. But, my MIL and SIL just don’t get the fact that we just don’t see these people…ever!

I was thinking about name variants. I’m not a big fan of Clarissa but Clara is pretty…but I feel like I’m compromising too much. It’s either Claire or something totally different.

If we do meet any of these cousins…I will absolutely be poliet and say “well, we just really love that name!” It’s just weird I’m getting it from direct family I see very frequently.
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Ack, my suggestion is to avoid talking to in-laws about names at all. This is how my husband ended up not having a name for 3 days after he was born because both sets of his grandparents insisted he be named after each grandfather. My mother-in-law finally caved and ended up giving my husband 2 middle names to make both sides happy However, was his father’s name with an additional middle name. This has caused so many headaches because he is not technically a junior, and a lot of places don’t take two middle names, so his credit reports and such always get mixed up with his father’s.

We are not consulting anyone for names. They got to pick ours. We get to pick our children’s. You’ll save a lot of headaches if just you two pick them out 🙂
 
SubjectVerb said:
Remember, also the middle name. You are giving the name with what I assume to be a different middle name, so that makes it different 🙂 To make it more different you could spell it differently (if the name has an common alternate spelling, of course).
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Some of you have also mentioned to make sure I pick a different middle name.

I absolutely agree with this. It’s annoying though…because I had originally wanted to go with Claire Elizabeth…after two amazing saints.

Yeah, guess what this cousin named her daughter…:rolleyes:

Oh well. I’m still trying to come up with a good middle name. I’m thinking of a variant of our Blessed Mother…like Marie. Hubby hasn’t gone for it. He doesn’t think of St Mary with names like Marion, Marie and Maria.

Blah!
I don’t want to be picky…but, I must admit…having a boy would make our lives a teeny bit easier in this department.
 
I might be a little biased, because I named my daughter a name that half my family has 🙂 (including close family), but I would stick to whatever you and your husband like and agree about. Don’t worry about whether or not the others agree. 🙂
 
Kelfa28 said:
Oh well. I’m still trying to come up with a good middle name. I’m thinking of a variant of our Blessed Mother…like Marie. Hubby hasn’t gone for it. He doesn’t think of St Mary with names like Marion, Marie and Maria.
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Lol, Sta Maria is literally what a good portion of the Catholics of the world call St Mary, but I am not that big a fan of Claire Maria, it doesn’t seem as musical as other name combinations…
 
Kelfa28 said:
Some of you have also mentioned to make sure I pick a different middle name.

I absolutely agree with this. It’s annoying though…because I had originally wanted to go with Claire Elizabeth…after two amazing saints.

Yeah, guess what this cousin named her daughter…:rolleyes:

Oh well. I’m still trying to come up with a good middle name. I’m thinking of a variant of our Blessed Mother…like Marie. Hubby hasn’t gone for it. He doesn’t think of St Mary with names like Marion, Marie and Maria.

Blah!
I don’t want to be picky…but, I must admit…having a boy would make our lives a teeny bit easier in this department.
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I have at least three friends who go by their middle names. You can name a girl Elizabeth Claire, and end up calling her Claire. (Again with the “ooops. :rolleyes:”)

You want amazing saints, you can hardly go wrong with Teresa or Thérèse…which includes Teri and Tara and so on as nicknames, so you ought to be able to dodge the cousins with that. There are two doctors of the Church in that landslide of saints, not to mention one of the most renowned champions of the poor of modern times.

Remember, too, that variations on Carol would be after Bl. John Paul II and his namesake, St. Charles Borromeo. You can find girls’ names with male patrons, and vice versa. (St. John Marie Vianney had Our Lady as a patron, as an example.)
 
I would go with a name I (and DH) loved, regardless of “it’s so-and-so’s” name (unless I did not care for that relative). The only exception for DH and I was one name that we considered for DD. Both of us liked the name. We didn’t use it because there were already two cousins (one each side of the family) with the same name. It was further compounded by one of the cousins being DH’s brother’s child. That meant, if DH and I used the same name, the two girls would have had both the same first AND last names. That was a bit much for DH and I, so we didn’t use that first name. If last names had all been different, we might have used that first name anyway.
 
lifeisbeautiful said:
I might be a little biased, because I named my daughter a name that half my family has 🙂 (including close family), but I would stick to whatever you and your husband like and agree about. Don’t worry about whether or not the others agree. 🙂
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Well, there is the problem of getting DH to go for that. She’s getting the dictum from him, not phone calls from the in-laws and out-laws. For all we know, Cousin Claire would be happy out of her mind to have a baby named after her!
 
Kelfa28 said:
It’s my MIL, SIL and, to a small extent, my husband…who have been voicing their opinions on the matter.
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MIL and SIL don’t get a say in the matter. They will love your child, no doubt, but they won’t be the ones writing the name on thousands of school papers, calling upstairs for little Claire or Paige to come for dinner, etc. If it were me, I would just stop discussing it with them. Then, when the baby is born, you announce, joyfully, “This is Claire!” or “Meet Paige!” If they are decent people they should have the self-control to keep it to themselves.

For what it’s worth, I think it’s a little nutty that MIL would try to dissuade you from choosing one of those beautiful names. I recently told my MIL I liked the name Joseph but was concerned because my SIL also likes the name and plans to use it for her first son. My MIL replied, “You can never have too many Josephs!” and this is for two kids who would be first cousins and her grandchildren.
 
Maybe I’m a little biased, coming from a family that is all about family names, I see no problems with it. Sometimes they go by their middle names if they share names, or they do something weird, like two of my aunts, where one’s first name is the other’s middle name, but they both go by their middle names. I have a grandma, aunt, and sister with the name Maria. I am named after my paternal grandfather. Family names are all over. My younger sister’s middle name is my mother’s first name.

My sister’s kids have outside names (Chase and Keagan), and my wife and I plan for our own names for out kids as well.

Maybe you need to figure out with your husband as to who has the final say on names for which children. My wife and I agreed to something like I get to pick the girls’ name, she gets to pick the boys’ name. We also have developed lists of names of both genders that we both agree on for when the time comes that we have children.
 
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