Baby names and family opinions

[CradleJourney]

As some of you guys have seen in my signature…hubby and I are expecting baby number 2 around the end of November.

…

Am I being unreasonable? Would this be a situation where you’d say “no way…someone else in the family has this name” or would you still name your child a name you love…despite it already being in the family?

I understand your hubby’s viewpoint in a way because that’s how I am. Naming our children was quite a challenge since between aunts, uncles, and first cousins, over 95 names were taken. A few were duplicated as well (it’s hard to tell the kids, that Uncle Dave - no the OTHER Uncle Dave is coming over). Still have to always identify it’s MY Debbie, not L’s Debbie that I’m talking about. So I would never knowingly use a name someone else in our family has used.

It’s not so much that we see the cousins (some I haven’t seen in decades) but that the relatives we do see also see them - resulting in the need for clarification. Or have their “namesake” turn out to be a less than reputable person. (We have wide age ranges - large family - the generations are all mixed up. So the cousin could easily be 10 - 20 years older than the newest one).

That said - it’s your child, you should name the little one as you see fit. And if someone else in the family is against it - well, they’ll just have to get use to the idea

 

[EasterJoy]

I understand your hubby’s viewpoint in a way because that’s how I am. Naming our children was quite a challenge since between aunts, uncles, and first cousins, over 95 names were taken. A few were duplicated as well (it’s hard to tell the kids, that Uncle Dave - no the OTHER Uncle Dave is coming over). Still have to always identify it’s MY Debbie, not L’s Debbie that I’m talking about. So I would never knowingly use a name someone else in our family has used.

It’s not so much that we see the cousins (some I haven’t seen in decades) but that the relatives we do see also see them - resulting in the need for clarification. Or have their “namesake” turn out to be a less than reputable person. (We have wide age ranges - large family - the generations are all mixed up. So the cousin could easily be 10 - 20 years older than the newest one).

That said - it’s your child, you should name the little one as you see fit. And if someone else in the family is against it - well, they’ll just have to get use to the idea

In our extended families, you can barely throw a rock without hitting a William. We also have duplicates in other names. What you find is that while you can give the cousins names that are different, not even siblings are going to be so compliant to the convenience of everyone having a different name that they won’t marry anyone with a name “already taken”. That is how a family usually gets two guys named Uncle Dave, after all! IOW. Choosing non-duplicate baby names only postpones the problem.

Based on the youth sport teams I know, any family with more than four people in it will probably have duplicates of Uncle Josh, Uncle Matthew, Uncle Austin, Aunt Emily, Aunt Emma, Aunt Sophia, or Aunt Madison. Oh well!

 

[maryjk]

I went to a family reunion a few years ago.

We took a picture of all of the "Mary"s. There were 6 of us.

We then took a picture of men named “James.” Another group of 6.

And all of these people were no more distant than second cousins.

MIL needs to get over it. Especially if you rarely see these people.

 

[Allegra]

Don’t tell anyone what you are naming your baby until the social security paperwork has been notorized and sent off. Problem solved.

Really though, I don’t see any reason why your husband’s random relations should have any say in this. On the other hand, you should probably take HIS opinon into consideration, this child being his progeny and all. I mean, what if the real reason you’ve never met cousin Claire is that she’s a real piece of work and your husband can’t stand the sight of her? That would be a good reason not to name the baby Claire.

The other night, my husband and I were arguing about our baby’s name. We both agree on the name, but not the pronunciation. Suddenly, he said, “God just spoke to me and I think the way you pronounce it will be good.”

“Huh?”

Keep praying and maybe God will say something about baby Claire to your husband!

 

[VivienneJ]

My daughter and son-in-law absolutely do not discuss their choices of names with anyone else in the family…with good reason. (So I wasn’t sure I’d heard right when he phoned when the latest baby was born and gave her name with my name for her second name!)

But your dilemma reminds me of a situation between my cousins (sisters, not cousins to each other). The younger one gave birth to a duaghter, Liesl; the elder one, who had great difficulty conceiving and had adopted a son when she found she was pregnant, announced her daughter’s name, with just a touch of defiance, as Lizelle. No, we never had the courage to ask about the background to that one.

I do hope you find a solution to the name dilemma.

 

[CradleJourney]

IOW. Choosing non-duplicate baby names only postpones the problem.

Oh, I agree - I just personally refuse to contribute to it grin But that’s just me, and if someone else chooses to copy one of my kid’s names shrug it’s no big issue.

Just agreeing that it is hard when your favorite name is taken and that some parents would be reluctant to duplicate a name. But I’m a big proponent of what the Mamma wants (within reason) the Mamma should get - LOL!

 

[PatriceA]

I would pray about it and stop talking to other family members. Its a decision that should be made between you and your hubby through prayer and discernment with God. No one else.

 

[Em_in_FL]

I went to a family reunion a few years ago.

We took a picture of all of the "Mary"s. There were 6 of us.

We then took a picture of men named “James.” Another group of 6.

And all of these people were no more distant than second cousins.

MIL needs to get over it. Especially if you rarely see these people.

See, I think that’s super cool!
Our family seems to be naming the grandkids after the grandparents (first or middle names), so there are definitely duplicates… I think it’s an honor!

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

Well, there is the problem of getting DH to go for that. She’s getting the dictum from him, not phone calls from the in-laws and out-laws. For all we know, Cousin Claire would be happy out of her mind to have a baby named after her!

I dunno, it sounded like he was a little soft on it and that MIL and SIL had stronger opinions… Maybe Kelfa can soften him into liking Claire even if he has a 2nd cousin with that name . It does matter if he doesn’t like it, but MIL had her chance to pick out Mr. Kelfa’s name and SIL can choose her own kiddos names if she is blessed with any.

 

[maryjk]

My daughter and son-in-law absolutely do not discuss their choices of names with anyone else in the family…with good reason. (So I wasn’t sure I’d heard right when he phoned when the latest baby was born and gave her name with my name for her second name!)

We also didn’t tell anyone what names were in the running until we had decided on the name we liked.

My father was very surprised to find out that we were going to name our son after him.

 

[Matthew8]

I remember a few years back Benedict XVI encoureged the faithfull to name their child after a saint. That is what I would do. So many to choose from

 

[Lorelei12]

Since you plan on finding out the gender anyway, you could always wait until then to see if you even need to continue the discussion!

I’m with everyone else who said the in-laws don’t get to have any (name removed by moderator)ut. Frankly, I think if any cousin or anyone else in the family got upset because you “stole” their name, they’re the one with the problem. I just don’t see it as a good reason not to name your baby whatever you want, especially if they are cousins or cousins’ children.

Does your husband really care that much or does he care because MIL and SIL have made him think he should care? I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, and I think if I were you I’d ask my husband to let his parents know the name wasn’t up for discussion any longer and try to persuade him that it would be ridiculous for someone to feel like you stole their name for your child.

 

[RoseMary131]

Some of you have also mentioned to make sure I pick a different middle name.

I absolutely agree with this. It’s annoying though…because I had originally wanted to go with Claire Elizabeth…after two amazing saints.

Yeah, guess what this cousin named her daughter…

I don’t want to be picky…but, I must admit…having a boy would make our lives a teeny bit easier in this department.

Dearest Kelfa,

Congratulations on your sweet little baby!

There is nothing wrong with naming your child EXACTLY what you and your husband want to, no matter if ANYONE in the family has the same name.

This child is the most beautiful child in the world (as all children are). This child was created by you and your husband and God. This is your child. Your child is a gift to you. God places in your hearts the name of this very special child. The name belongs to your child, even if 1000 relatives have the exact same name.

As you name your child, it should reflect the love you and your husband have for this precious child.

You should never feel pulled by any family members if a name can be given to your child.

Your MIL and SIL are not the mother and father of this wonderful child. You and your dear husband are the parents. God gives you the gift of gifting your child with a special name, a name you and your dear husband are drawn to.

Maybe you and your husband can first sit down and pray for the gift to be open to the name that should be your child’s name.

When you name your child, name the child as you feel called. Do not be concern if anyone else has the name.

Proverbs 22:1
A good name is more desirable than great riches

 

[aemcpa]

I could see a sibling being put off if you wanted to recycle a name they used, but a cousin? It’s a little odd for two first cousins to have the same name (especially if they have the same last name as well), but if two second cousins have the same name I don’t think that is a big deal at all.

 

[nodito]

Kelfa28:

Some of you have also mentioned to make sure I pick a different middle name.

I absolutely agree with this. It’s annoying though…because I had originally wanted to go with Claire Elizabeth…after two amazing saints.

Oh! I know how to solve this. Claire Frances! Two amazing Franciscan saints, who were holy friends and contemporaries (plus, a nod to our current pope!)

 

[TheRealJuliane]

These naming threads send me right back to both pregnancies…Hubby had known someone by every name I liked, save 2! With the first, we didn’t know the gender so we had both boys’ and girls’ names, but I’m not even sure we had the girl name nailed down. We had 2 choices for a boy, and as soon as I looked at him, I knew he wasn’t a Colin, so he got named the other choice.

With our 2nd, we knew he was a boy, and we literally were left with just 1 name. In fact now that I think about it, one of my hubby’s best friends had a son with the same name, so he should have nixed that one as well, maybe we would have ended up with “Hey You!” or something…

I think you should name your baby whatever you want. If it’s Claire, that’s fine. If it’s Gavin, or Jaron, that’s fine too. Whatever. Just make it a name you love, for a little person you love.

 

[Kelfa28]

Thanks for all the replies!

I’m glad to see the general consensus is…name the kiddo whichever name you love.

I mentioned names in passing tonight at dinner to my husband. He wants to at least wait to see if we are having a boy or a girl first.

I think I’m just not going to mention what we decide on until after our new baby is born. It will make things a bit easier…like some of you have said, once the paper work is signed, that’s it! They can’t really argue anymore.

It’s funny, my SIL has three beautiful girls. All of which have the most unusual names you could imagine. They are pretty names but they are certainly original. They are just as tough to pronounce as they are to spell.
Part of me thinks she did that purposely to avoid duplicates.

Leave it to me to fall in love with super popular names.

Believe it or not…I’m liking some of the suggestions I’m seeing. Especially for the middle names. I like Francis and Theresa. They are a little old fashion…but they are both amazing saints names.
I will be taking them into consideration. We’ll see how it goes.

If anyone is curious…the boy’s name we picked is Conner James.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

If anyone is curious…the boy’s name we picked is Conner James.

:aok:

That’s a good name.

I think Theresa Claire sounds better than Clarie Theresa, but you could still call her Claire.

 

[PatriceA]

:aok:

That’s a good name.

I think Theresa Claire sounds better than Clarie Theresa, but you could still call her Claire.

Absolutely. My husband and my daughter both go by their middle names. Someday my daughter may choose to go by her first name, or both names for a very professional sounding name.

You just can’t always please family. We got flack for NOT choosing a family name.

 

[Kelfa28]

So we had our 20 week US today and we found out the gender…

Drum roll please…

It’s a GIRL!!! :extrahappy::curtsey:

AND…we have absolutely no idea what to do about names…oh well.

My husband wants to wait a little before we start hashing it out. We’ll see what happens.

Anyway, looks like Jelly Bean is going to have a little sister.