Bachelor's Party: Liquor, Carousing and Girls on Poles

[water]

…
It didn’t seem long – no more than a month – before I began a steady streak doing pretty much the same thing each and every week, going to bars, strip clubs, carousing, lusting, talking filthy about women, swearing, and then…every Saturday morning, feeling sorry for myself and my sins, going to confession. Rinse, wash, repeat.

I’m not defending their sins! I am defending their humanity and their ability to be good people! And I’m definitely not saying I intend on continuing to live a sinful lifestyle!

If you still want to defend their humanity, you better defend those girls dancing, stop talking filthy about women who are degrading themselves before men who are lust and look at human like an object. That’s what you should do to defend humanity.
…

I am not saying you are defending their sins. I am saying you are influenced by their bad actions.

Some people can be around gangster and bad people, but they are the light for them to follow. If you can do that, by no mean … show the good examples and continue to be their friends.

On the other hands, if you are influenced by them for doing things that affect your soul, it is better to first defend yourself … .save yourself…before trying to defend others.

 

[water]

If you still want to defend their humanity, you better defend those girls dancing, stop talking filthy about women who are degrading themselves before men who are lust and look at human like an object. That’s what you should do to defend humanity.
…

I am not saying you are defending their sins. I am saying you were influenced by their bad actions.

Some people can be around gangster and bad people, but they are the light for them to follow. If you can do that, by no mean … show the good examples and continue to be their friends.

On the other hands, if you are influenced by them for doing things that affect your soul, it is better to first defend yourself … .save yourself…before trying to defend others.

 

[Tracy10]

Think of it as lessons from God, or in advancement. Your first mistake was in saying,
“Having just converted to Catholicism only a couple months prior, and intent on being a good Christian, I decided that even if I drank too much that I wouldn’t act foolish or obscenely. Well, that failed!!!”

You may not have realized in that statement that you had already subconsciously decided in advance that you were going to drink too much. The only thing you “were clearly NOT planning on doing was acting foolishly or obscenely” which, by the way, is pretty well impossible for anyone who drinks too much.

The best way to avoid getting drunk is to avoid bars in the first place. Leaders aren’t generally “one of the guys” so you need not feel guilty about it. Instead you should feel proud of yourself for taking control instead of allowing others to control you.

Because leaders aren’t easily intimidated, they generally feel no compulsion to “want to be part of the crowd” either, especially of a crowd that does things that might lead to unethical things and/or guilt trips later. Leaders are generally smarter than followers so they simply don’t care to invite that kind of baggage upon themselves. If the others want to carry it, that’s their problem.

If you’re ever invited to go to a place you don’t want to go to, there are two ways out of this.

The first is to make up some flimsy excuse. That’s the one most people use. It’s what I call, “the follower’s way.” Being a follower is stinkingly unpleasant because after the first excuse another is usually required, often leading to lies. Eventually people catch liars and label them as wimps not deserving of respect. That doesn’t do a heck of a lot for self image either.

The easiest way is to get out anything is simply to learn a little secret that’s EASY AS PIE!

All you have to say is “no thanks, I don’t care for that type of thing.”

You aren’t obligated to explain why. In fact, if you DON’T ramble on about the reasons as if you somehow OWED people an explanation (as if you were their personal servant) you will look stronger in their eyes. You will also have an air of mystery about yourself that will also be attractive to many.

After you realize the power of that EXTREMELY SIMPLE answer, it will quickly become "your favourite lifelong answer for nearly everything you don’t want to be coaxed into. Never again will you have to grasp at straws like a clown, trying to dream up a quick and flimsical excuse.

An added bonus is that after you’ve said it once, people won’t pester you for the same thing next time because they will already realize you don’t like those things, so from that day on you won’t have to make excuses period!

There’s nothing more rewarding than being aware that God has given all of us the right to be independent people with full agency, and therefore LEADERSHIP abilities. Once you realize how easy it is to lay claim to those abilities you will love yourself. So will the people you are closest to.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Epistemes,
in all, I think what you’re seeking are ways to avoid getting into areas that are not conducive toward spiritual growth.

Is this a correct assessment?

Jim

 

[Epistemes]

Epistemes,
in all, I think what you’re seeking are ways to avoid getting into areas that are not conducive toward spiritual growth.

Is this a correct assessment?

Jim

Jim,

Right now I’m listening to Ave Maria Radio (avemariaradio.net/catholic-online-radio.php)), I just purchased some new Christian blues CDs (because I enjoy blues music, but worry about the sexual content in some of the songs), and I’m wondering why my priest hasn’t returned my call concerning a much needed heart-to-heart.

I think that answers your question well enough.

 

[Steeltemplar]

I actually used to have some co-workers who I hung out with who were all very secular people. They did, on occasion, go to strip clubs. I simply told them that such things were against my faith and when they were going to do them, I excused myself politely. They never gave me a hard time about it, actually, though I was ready for them to do so.

I cannot say if your friends would make fun of you or not. However, living by your faith is something worthy of respect and it is possible that they might, at least somewhere inside, respect that in you.

Regardless, avoiding sin is your first priority, of course.