Back to faith-but what to wear?

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Seren1ty0ne

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I’ve recently come back into the Catholic faith (you can thank my bf) and I’ve got somewhat of an awkward question. I know that modesty is key, but as a 21 year old female (finishing college at a large non Catholic university) how do I dress (especially when most of the students value materiality over all else)? I essentially mean, what types of clothing should I be wearing? What is a good idea for outfits? I need some advice.

Thanks!
 
**Well, you don’t have to cover yourself head to toe in a shapeless smock, if that’s what you’re asking;)😃

What do you wear now? More than likely you can tweak what you have if you feel it is not modest enough.**
 
Usually a t-shirt or polo and jeans is the average day, unless it is work/church which is business casual.
 
First of all, 👍 👍 to your boyfriend 🙂
Seren1ty0ne said:
Usually a t-shirt or polo and jeans is the average day, unless it is work/church which is business casual.
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Well that sounds good, sounds modest, just make sure your pants aren’t too low, shirt is not too short/tight/low. You don’t have to worry about the other students being materialistic, as long as you look decent it doesn’t matter how much it cost or where you bought it.
 
There are no “rules” to follow that are dictated by the Church. This is an area that each individual needs to make prudent judgments on…
Basically… just ask yourself:
Are you showing respect to your body as a “temple of God”?
Are you wearing clothing inspired by sin (vanity, adultery, etc)?

It’s hard to make general statements like “don’t wear shorts” or “don’t wear strapless”… there are wide ranges of variation…

Just make prudent judgments and you’ll be fine!
 
Seren1ty0ne said:
Usually a t-shirt or polo and jeans is the average day, unless it is work/church which is business casual.
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What do you feel is immodest about your current wardrobe? Too tight? Too low cut? If it is neither, it is fine! Modesty allows for the fact that you are a woman and you are allowed to look like one. You just don’t want to be bringing undue attention to your breasts or bum, lol. So no provocative words written across either;)
 
Asking your boyfriend for help is a good idea, too.

I went through the same thing while I was in college and I threw out a lot of clothes, but a lot of them I was able to keep.

My boyfriend at the time (now DH :D) helped me clean out my clothes. Basically, I held things up and he got a yes or no vote…The no vote meant that he honestly felt that from a guy’s perspective, that particular piece of clothing was distracting/immodest/called to mind impure thoughts. A yes vote meant that he felt that item upheld my dignity as a woman. 🙂

Men are so visual and it was humbling but so helpful to hear his perspective.
 
Seren1ty0ne said:
I know that modesty is key, but as a 21 year old female (finishing college at a large non Catholic university) how do I dress
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Wear slacks, nice jeans, or a skirt/dress to the knee or below. Wear shirts with sleeves and without a plunging neckline, and clothes that are not revealing or extremely tight.

It’s really not that complicated.
Seren1ty0ne said:
(especially when most of the students value materiality over all else)?
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This is completely irrelevant. It doesn’t matter what anyone else wears, does, or thinks.
Seren1ty0ne said:
I essentially mean, what types of clothing should I be wearing? What is a good idea for outfits? I need some advice.
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Do you have any of the things I mentioned above?
 
I don’t follow any modesty rules. If I wear an outfit that is too low cut, I just wear a lace top underneath. All of my outfits are fitted. I wear low-cut tight jeans, but always make sure that my top covers all of my midriff skin.

I’m not overly conservative in my dress, but I definitely don’t feel immodest in my dress.

I am comfortable with my feminity and my clothes are very feminine and fitted, but I always make sure that I’m not showing too much skin. I even sometimes wear sexy black boots.

I just don’t wear short skirts. All of my skirts are just above the knee. They may be fitted, but I don’t feel comfortable wearing short skirts…I feel like a bimbo when wearing a short skirt :o

My husband is conservative and has no problem with the way I dress. He would hate it if I showed too much cleavage or wore short skirts. I know that for sure, but I’ve never dressed that way since I met him, so it’s never been an issue.
 
Seren1ty0ne said:
I’ve recently come back into the Catholic faith (you can thank my bf) and I’ve got somewhat of an awkward question. I know that modesty is key, but as a 21 year old female (finishing college at a large non Catholic university) how do I dress (especially when most of the students value materiality over all else)? I essentially mean, what types of clothing should I be wearing? What is a good idea for outfits? I need some advice.

Thanks!
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I pretty much wear what I always wear, clothes!! 😉 I mean seriously though, blouses to church, nice dresses, and a little shawl wouldn’t be bad…If your shirts flaunt you, well then you should wear a little top jacket or an under shirt that would help cover you up enough for decency…no biggie really! If you wear really short skirts or dresses wear those leggins or even the skinny jeans with them and at least it will play out modernly and decent enough…and you will not lose your youth style and at the same time follow in the respectful way of Catholic dressing…

I am not going to lie to you, when I go out with my db, I try to flaunt myself for him, maybe its wrong but I like looking a little sexy for my honey, we have fun and he compliments me without me having to take my clothes off at all!! lol…I mean a little pick me up here and there from my honey doesn’t hurt at all…Besides it’s not often nor that dramatic…it’s just a little flaunting for him…nothing more! 😃
 
Definitely wear clothes when you go to class, whatever else you do!😉
 
Buy clothing that fits, that is designed for your body type. for instance, full figured gals do not belong in the juniors dept, that clothing is not designed for womanly figures, so those items are almost sure to be immodest simply from improper fit.

check all your clothes in the full length mirror (sure wish they would put a 360 in clothing stores), standing, bending, sitting and crouching, and make sure you don’t look like Joe the Plumber from the back.

the reason underwear shoes is also usually improper fit. get a bra sizing and make sure you are wearing the right one for you, as improper foundation garments also cause good clothes to fit wrong, and show too much.

keep hidden what should belong only to your current or future husband. decolletage is out of place. Almost all tops are cut too low nowdays, so get a wardrobe of camis and tanks to wear underneath. sew straps with snaps inside tops and dresses to keep straps in place, or make sure undergarments fit right to begin with.
 
puzzleannie said:
Buy clothing that fits, that is designed for your body type. for instance, full figured gals do not belong in the juniors dept, that clothing is not designed for womanly figures, so those items are almost sure to be immodest simply from improper fit.

check all your clothes in the full length mirror (sure wish they would put a 360 in clothing stores), standing, bending, sitting and crouching, and make sure you don’t look like Joe the Plumber from the back.

the reason underwear shoes is also usually improper fit. get a bra sizing and make sure you are wearing the right one for you, as improper foundation garments also cause good clothes to fit wrong, and show too much.

keep hidden what should belong only to your current or future husband. decolletage is out of place. Almost all tops are cut too low nowdays, so get a wardrobe of camis and tanks to wear underneath. sew straps with snaps inside tops and dresses to keep straps in place, or make sure undergarments fit right to begin with.
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GOOD ADVICE!! 👍
 
Personally (and remember, this is my opinion)
I am a revert, and I am reveling in my unique feminine ability to not only cover myself for my husband, but I can also simultaniously flant (lack of better term) my feminitity.

My typical uniform is either a knee length or ankle length skirt (usually a wrap skirt) and a 3/4 length top (good in summer or in winter!) I admit to saving several of my shirts from post-reversion, but I wear camis under them to get more wear out of them (just like 'Burbs recommended!)

So- that’s just me.

But if I were to give guidelines- ask BF for his opinion, don’t wear anything too low-cut or too tight, get some good underwear (bras AND panties), get some camis (rescue as much stuff as you can!), and WELCOME HOME!
 
Dear Seren1ty0ne:

The best advice I can give you is to do two things… First, go online and look up the “Marylike Standards of Modesty” as established by the Catholic Church, and read what the popes have said about the subject. see: salvemariaregina.info/Modesty.html for a start.

Secondly, get a copy of “Dressing with dignity” by Colleen Hammond (TAN Books). It is easy reading; you can finish it in a few days.

Most Catholics today have a very poor concept of modesty and proper dress for women. This situation is not entirely their fault. For whatever reason, most of the shepherds of the church have been silent on this subject for the last 40 years or so. As a result, much of our Catholic population has become very secularized in this respect, just like the rest of the world.

There are two good articles on this subject, one by Bishop Yanta and another by Fr. Hathaway FSSP. They can be found at the following links There you will also find some examples of how some Catholic young ladies dress today. Hope this helps.God bless.

saintceciliaclassicalproductions.org/_wsn/page5.html

saintceciliaclassicalproductions.org/_wsn/page4.html
 
Anything you feel good looking in the mirror wearing – and I don’t mean materialistically for acceptance, but something that makes you feel good, smart, sharp and is not too revealing. 👍
 
Hmm, my experience is that most students are too poor to be buying flash clothing … I even remember one girl wandering through campus in what were very clearly pyjama trousers (in fairness perhaps she’d overslept and had to rush to an exam or something).

I suppose it depends whether you’re going to a really elite school that your stonking rich parents are paying for, or something.

As for modesty - as above. You should be able to find jeans, slacks, skirts and tops that cover everything that needs to be covered and are loose enough without looking frumpy. I heard a great maxim in this regard - ‘tight enough to show you’re a woman, loose enough to show you’re a lady’.
 
iluvmybabies said:
I pretty much wear what I always wear, clothes!! 😉 I mean seriously though, blouses to church, nice dresses, and a little shawl wouldn’t be bad…If your shirts flaunt you, well then you should wear a little top jacket or an under shirt that would help cover you up enough for decency…no biggie really! If you wear really short skirts or dresses wear those leggins or even the skinny jeans with them and at least it will play out modernly and decent enough…and you will not lose your youth style and at the same time follow in the respectful way of Catholic dressing…

I am not going to lie to you, when I go out with my db, I try to flaunt myself for him, maybe its wrong but I like looking a little sexy for my honey, we have fun and he compliments me without me having to take my clothes off at all!! lol…I mean a little pick me up here and there from my honey doesn’t hurt at all…Besides it’s not often nor that dramatic…it’s just a little flaunting for him…nothing more! 😃
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You do need to be careful since he is your boyfriend and not your husband, that in getting your compliments without taking your clothes off that he doesn’t begin to lust over you. Also, be kind to other men that have to look at you. It’s not fair to put images in their heads and cause them to… well…sin when they get home.
 
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