Backwards bridal shower conundrum - what to do?

[kage_ar]

Kage - Aside from some miracle, she will not be having it in a Church - she is Catholic, he is not. At first, they were planning a Church wedding and I was very excited for her. She has since changed her mind over the course of the 3 year engagement. They have no reasons to keep post-poning the wedding that are finanical or logistical (they already live together).

Then take her to lunch and say “Suzie, I love you and more than anything I want you to be happy in this life and forever happy with God in the next. When you get ready to validly marry in the Church, I will throw you a wedding shower, wear the ugliest dress you can pick out and dance at that reception til my feet bleed. Because I love you, I am not going to celebrate you living in sin or trying to have an invalid wedding.”

 

[KCT]

Actually it is funny because on the facebook event page - one of the other girls who is invited posted something to the effect of oh I didn’t know you set a date, congratualtions! (clearly thinking that the shower was a result of a close wedding date to follow) and my friend replied back, no date yet, nothing is “set in stone.”

Then I suppose buying a gift is not set in stone either.

 

[KCT]

Oh look, my daily reminder just came again!

**at 2:47pm
POST IT NOTE
I need to know BY Monday March 1st if your ARE or ARE NOT coming to my party on March 6th. If you are a “MAYBE” or “AWAITING REPLY” right now, please respond “YES” or “NO” BY MONDAY MARCH 1st, so that we have an accurate head count for reservations. Hope to see you there =] **

RIGHT NOW respond “no” then change your facebook settings so you cannot get any more messages. Unfriend her or whoever is sending the reminders.

 

[MercyMia]

Then I suppose buying a gift is not set in stone either.

LOL

 

[MercyMia]

RIGHT NOW respond “no” then change your facebook settings so you cannot get any more messages. Unfriend her or whoever is sending the reminders.

Yup, I plan on responding “no” today. Right now there are 7 for yes, but that includes the bride and the friend who is “planning it” so thats really only 5 people. There are 18 no’s and 17 not replied yet. Yikes! I am not the only one in the boat it seems…

 

[MercyMia]

Update* Well I declined the invitation without any fanfare Whew
It looks like out of 40 or so people she invited, only 5 are going. I suspect most had the same feeling I did.
Thank you to everyone who gave me their (name removed by moderator)ut, I really appreciate it. When I first posted, I was unsure of what I was feeling about the situation and you all helped to validate it.

 

[puzzleannie]

It looks like out of 40 or so people she invited, only 5 are going. I .

wimps

what I cannot for the life of me understand, with regard to bridal showers, wedding invitations from casual acquaintances, and the concurrent thread on kids’ birthday parties, is why the difficulty in saying NO, and why one would drag out their response. In classic etiquette the accepted negative response to an invitation is a prompt “Miss Otis regrets” no explanation, no apology, no excuse, just a firm no thank you

 

[jmcrae]

wimps

what I cannot for the life of me understand, with regard to bridal showers, wedding invitations from casual acquaintances, and the concurrent thread on kids’ birthday parties, is why the difficulty in saying NO, and why one would drag out their response. In classic etiquette the accepted negative response to an invitation is a prompt “Miss Otis regrets” no explanation, no apology, no excuse, just a firm no thank you

Exactly.