Bad confession---need help

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BibleReader700

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I just went to confession for the first time. I scheduled an appointment with the priest. While i was there, i started to get really nervous, becuase i had some embarassing sins to confess, like looking at pornography, masturbation, lustful thoughts, lying, etc. I got there and confessed i had looked at pornography and lied, but at that point i just got too nervous and said i was done, although i was fully aware that i had other sins to confess. I have a few questions on this:
  1. Am i absolved of the sins i did confess?
  2. Should i just go to a regular confession and confess the sins i didn’t confess, in addition to lying and saying i had no more sins to confess?
  3. Can anyone tell me a nicer term for masturbation, because i can’t say that in confession. I kept trying, but i was too nervous to get it out.
I’m not damned or anything now am i? I’m really sorry for not confessing everything and i’m like, going crazy with myself now.
Thanks for the help.
 
I think i have some nervous disorder or something, because i just can’t confess. I’m too worried that i’ll mess up the confession or do something wrong. And i have to much trouble confessing my sins.
 
BibleReader700 said:
I just went to confession for the first time. I scheduled an appointment with the priest. While i was there, i started to get really nervous, becuase i had some embarassing sins to confess, like looking at pornography, masturbation, lustful thoughts, lying, etc. I got there and confessed i had looked at pornography and lied, but at that point i just got too nervous and said i was done, although i was fully aware that i had other sins to confess. I have a few questions on this:
  1. Am i absolved of the sins i did confess?
  2. Should i just go to a regular confession and confess the sins i didn’t confess, in addition to lying and saying i had no more sins to confess?
  3. Can anyone tell me a nicer term for masturbation, because i can’t say that in confession. I kept trying, but i was too nervous to get it out.
I’m not damned or anything now am i? I’m really sorry for not confessing everything and i’m like, going crazy with myself now.
Thanks for the help.
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Calm down. Chill out. Get a grip. Deep slow breaths ready 1…2…3 OK Lets go.

You knowingly left mortal sins out of the Confession. The Confession is invalid and you must re-confess. The absolution was obtained for lack of a better word fraudulently. No good. You may have fooled the Priest but you did not fool God. Sorry to tell you that but it is true.

Now, on to the bigger issue. You’re embarrased, scared and nervous. So am I. You had to confess some pretty terrible things. So have I. In factso has eberyone who has ever confessed, even the Priest, even the Bishop, even the Holy Father. John Paul II it is said used to confess twice a week for up to 30 minutes each. Amazing.

Don’t worry. The Priest neither knows nor cares who you are, and is acting in the place of Christ. Don’t think of yourself as confessing to a man, you are confessing to Christ. Think of it that way and you should be all right.

If you are really scared and nervous you always have the option of anonymous confession. And you can go anywhere to any Priest that can hear confessions.

Self abuse is the term most often used for masturbation. It is one of the most commonly confessed sins along with lying, fornication and extreme anger.

See, you are really not that different than the rest of us. It took me a long lomg time to get it right and I’m still learning.👍

You’ll do fine kid, don’t sweat it. Just go and do the right thing with a firm purpose of amendment and you’ll be all right.
 
I messed up my First Confession, too. The best thing to do is just go back - maybe to a different priest, if it’s something about the priest that made you nervous.

For someone who is used to going to Confession, we tell them not to pick and choose their priest, but when it’s the first few times, give yourself every possible break - go to the nicest priest, and take your time - I encourage you to break all of the rules - go ahead and tell long rambling stories about your sins, and make a “grocery list” of your sins, and everything else that your teacher told you not to do, so as to break out of that oppressive feeling of being hung up on the “how to” of the ritual. 😉

It might take you a couple of tries to succeed in making a good First Confession - don’t worry about that - you’ve got lots of time before Confirmation and First Holy Communion.

But, hey, you were able to confess some of your most embarrassing sins right here in the Forum, so it’s not that you’re embarrassed by your sins - it’s just that you’re not used to going to Confession, yet. Remember, you’re just as anonymous in Confession as you are here - and probably more so, in Confession.

Just try to think of it as “having a chat” with a good friend.

But if the word “masturbation” simply won’t come out, you could say, “I committed an impure act by myself.”
 
Hahhahahahhahaha, I laugh, not at you but because what you brought to my mind.

I was the exact same as you, same stuff I needed to confess…and I did last week. Before I confessed, I told him these were my deepest, darkest, secrets I had been afraid to confess in a long time due to embarassment. Want to know what my priest said???
and I quote, “YOU ARE KIDDING ME RIGHT? THAT’S IT?”

He informed me that these things are in 99% of the confessions he hears. Let me tell you something about these guys, there is nothing they have not heard before. So suck it up and confess, trust me, you will feel so much better afterwards. I did.
P.S. To not confess everything is in itself a sin. :eek:
 
palmas85 said:
Self abuse is the term most often used for masturbation. It is one of the most commonly confessed sins along with lying, fornication and extreme anger.
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So i would confess that i self-abused myself?

Thankyou both of you for the help.

One more question: Can anyone give me a website or something with a step by step on how to confess. I think if i studied the process it would feel a bit better.

P.S. The priest was very nice to me too, it makes it feel even worse that i lied to him and made him give me a false absolution.
 
jmcrae said:
I messed up my First Confession, too. The best thing to do is just go back - maybe to a different priest, if it’s something about the priest that made you nervous.

For someone who is used to going to Confession, we tell them not to pick and choose their priest, but when it’s the first few times, give yourself every possible break - go to the nicest priest, and take your time - I encourage you to break all of the rules - go ahead and tell long rambling stories about your sins, and make a “grocery list” of your sins, and everything else that your teacher told you not to do, so as to break out of that oppressive feeling of being hung up on the “how to” of the ritual. 😉

It might take you a couple of tries to succeed in making a good First Confession - don’t worry about that - you’ve got lots of time before Confirmation and First Holy Communion.

But, hey, you were able to confess some of your most embarrassing sins right here in the Forum, so it’s not that you’re embarrassed by your sins - it’s just that you’re not used to going to Confession, yet. Remember, you’re just as anonymous in Confession as you are here - and probably more so, in Confession.

Just try to think of it as “having a chat” with a good friend.

But if the word “masturbation” simply won’t come out, you could say, “I committed an impure act by myself.”
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Heartily agree.

Don’t worry - you’re far from alone either in any sin you may have committed or in being embarrassed to admit to something in a confession.

WHATEVER you may have done, many people have done the same before you. Do remember, though, to tell the priest this time around that you omitted out of embarrassment to mention a mortal sin in your last confession.

Ecclesiates says ‘there is nothing new under the sun’ and believe you me, that goes for sins as well. Ask any priest who has been ordained more than five minutes, they will tell you that there is almost literally nothing they haven’t heard.

And masturbation in particular is something 90% of guys and about 2/3 of girls have done at some point in their lives. Pornography is pretty common too - why else do you think it’s a multibillion dollar industry? SOMEONE (a lot of someones in fact) is looking at the stuff. And confessing to it afterwards as well, as you should.

Take a deep breath, say a prayer and ask Jesus, Mary and your Guardian Angel for their help to get you back to confession and make it a good one. Go back the very next time you possibly can and be a little bit (but not a lot) early, so you don’t have to worry about running out of time or anything.

Pray again just before you start to speak. Tell the priest it’s only your second confession and you’re very nervous - hopefully he’ll help. And it always helps to start with the worst and most difficult sins - before you get too tongue tied or nervous.

I’ll pray for you.
 
I have stated in confession, simple things.
“I have sinned against the sixth commandment”

The priest will normally take it from there. Either he will want more information and ask (which actually gets me talking and makes it easier) or will let it go. I think sometimes we make it too hard on ourselves.

Try that one.
 
LilyM said:
Do remember, though, to tell the priest this time around that you omitted out of embarrassment to mention a mortal sin in your last confession.
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Can i just confess that i have lied? Do i need to be that specific?
 
netmil(name removed by moderator) said:
I have stated in confession, simple things.
“I have sinned against the sixth commandment”

The priest will normally take it from there. Either he will want more information and ask (which actually gets me talking and makes it easier) or will let it go. I think sometimes we make it too hard on ourselves.

Try that one.
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Is masturbation against any of the commandments?
 
Ok, thanks for the help.

Only bad thing is that i’ll be away next saturday and thats the only time my church has confession. I don’t want to keep annoying the priest by making appointments and my mom probably won’t drive me to another one. It took me a while to convince her to bring me to this one.
 
BibleReader700 said:
Can i just confess that i have lied? Do i need to be that specific?
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No you can’t just say you lied - omitting to tell a mortal sin in confession is something all on its own. Lying could mean something as trivial as that you told your kid brother that you didn’t have any chocolate to share when you actually did. A lot less serious than omitting a sin in confession, you’ll agree.

As I said, it’s something a lot of people do and have to fess up to - I’ve done it myself once or twice :o It’s not easy, I know. However this is your immortal soul we’re talking about - swallow those nerves, say a prayer and out with it!
 
My church schedule says that it holds confession every saturday from 4:00 to 5:00.

Does that mean they don’t have it before Mass? Is it an unwritten thing or something?, because i always thought all churches have confession before Mass.

I really don’t want to spend two weeks with this on my mind.

P.S. I want to get something blessed, but again, i am too afraid to ask the priest. Do i just say like " Hey can you bless this for me" after Mass?
 
I’ve heard that most priests forget a lot of the details of confessions they hear; probably a grace given by God. They’ve heard it all before. The important part is the fact that you know you did something wrong and you never want to do it again, not the fact that you did it. You’re ready to start you life over, essentially. You will feel so good after a full confession! If you don’t know what to do, just say so! Most priests are super about leading you through confession. They want to get those sins off your soul as badly as you do.
Good luck! I’ll be praying for you! 👍

Edit: Not every church has confession scheduled before Mass. Some don’t have any scheduled at all!

As for the blessing stuff, go for it! Just ask him. He knows what do to. 🙂
 
Anyway i can use another term for looking at pornography?
 
Are pornography-looking and lustful thought-having both included in the 6th commandment too, or do i have to say them?
and one more question:

Are you supposed to whisper during confession? My confession was an appointment so i was just talking. But normally do you have to?
 
BibleReader700 said:
Are pornography-looking and lustful thought-having both included in the 6th commandment too, or do i have to say them?
and one more question:

Are you supposed to whisper during confession? My confession was an appointment so i was just talking. But normally do you have to?
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I’d say they’re covered in the 6th commandment.

You don’t have to whisper unless you’re in a place where it would be easy to be overheard, which doesn’t happen often… Come to think of it, I had a confession while wandering Marienfield in Koln, Germany, when I went for WYD. There were people all over the place, and I didn’t whisper. :o Just talk normally, I guess. 🙂
 
Ok thanks so much everyone. I think i can give a good confession now. Although i’m pretty ticked off because it took me so long to finally get a chance to go to confession and now i have to wait all over again.
 
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