Bad feelings after confession

[MrBornAgain]

Hi all,

I’m new to this site & I’ve only made two confessions in my whole life and I’m 22.

This is a big struggle for me so I’m going to try my best to let you all know what I’m feeling.

So something I did wrong around 2 years ago came back into my mind as I’m a deep thinker I do well remembering even the smallest of details from years ago I suppose that’s a talent I have. At the time I didn’t realise how wrong it actually is what I done. After lots of thinking I’m actually quite shocked about the sin I committed because that’s not the way or who I am atall. It’s made me physically sick almost. I confessed it all in my first ever confession around 2-3 months ago and when explaining my story to the priest due to my discust I tried my best not to think about it so I could only estimate the details of my sin as I couldn’t remember. The priest understood and could see the state I was in due to the deep shame and regret he gave me a blessing a penance etc. I completed it and started living my life in a new positive way. A few days ago my deep thinking started yet again and I realised my estimates I gave the priest where actually innacurate. The recent details I’ve remembered have made the sin far worse in my eyes. Again this has had me all over the place but the last couple of days it has hit me hard it’s as if my mind isn’t with me sometimes as im finding my self day dreaming a lot, failing to concentrate and finding it extremely difficult to laugh at things like my favourite programmes which usually have me rolling around laughing. So I decided to go to confession and just try my best to explain this to the priest (a different one from my last confession) I feel like I didn’t get the chance to fully explain as he mentioned there was a queue forming outside. I know this was because of me taking too long but my head is all over the place it wasn’t on purpose. I’ve had my second blessing and penance and told that I have been washed off my sins. That was this morning and now 5-6 hours later I feel awful again. The first time it was like a huge weight off my shoulders and I fealt brilliant. That lasted all up until my recent deep think. Today I didn’t get the feeling of weight being lifted off my shoulders much as I still feel awful now. I feel like the first priest understood more as I sat with him for a while and explained myself whereas this one maybe rushed. Due to the details I’ve recently remembered it’s made me feel sick. I’m struggling to eat most of the time. I can only sleep when I’m absolutely shattered and again my mind just isn’t with it.

Also my local church is cutting down on the hours it’s open due to our local priest managing two separate parishes.

I wouldn’t be happy if I’d known of someone else committing this sin which is why I feel this way I think.

I’m sorry as I’ve probably confused you by my big explanation but that’s all I can do to share how I feel.

I haven’t got a criminal record or anything like that I’m just a 22 yr old boy/man who needs some guidance to help deal with this deep deep shame and regret.

Thank you all and godbless.

 

[hergratefulchild]

Hi Lukep95, When we encounter Our Lord at the sacrament of reconciliation and confess. Its is not us that bridge the distance between us and God. Jesus meets us where we are, held captive by sin. He loves you more than anyone else in the whole world and he is always happy to have you visit him in this way. He does not hold a little black book of any of your past sins. The absolution the priest gives you is complete, even if you are not fully aware and don’t explain through confusion or embarrassment. Jesus knows our weaknesses and is their to heal us. Also it doesn’t end when you leave the confession. The Holy Spirit stays with us and is always their in our times of distress. unless you have committed another mortal or grave sin since your last confession then know that praying to God or anyone of his servants “The Saints” can help. Our Lady is the refuge of sinners and if you ask her to pray for you and those around you, she will come to your aid.

 

[Lee1]

If you’ve confessed and received absolution then now forgive yourself too.
The fact that you feel such remorse over your sin is a good sign, when we’re truly sorry we don’t repeat that sin. I would advise you to move on now.
God bless.

 

[midori]

I can’t remember if it was a Padre Pio quote, or a St. John Vianney, or the Cure d’Ars— but I remember the story about a person who had committed a sin, confessed it, been absolved… but was still very disturbed and penitent. So he came back over and over to re-confess the sin— and whoever it was ended up yelling at him to Get Out.

I see that your first confession was 2-3 months ago. Congratulations.

Be accurate, but don’t obsess over precision. You can say, “I lied to my wife about how much the golf clubs cost”, if you only have one lie. But if you have a problem of misrepresentation, or lying-by-omission, or things like that, you don’t need to say, “I misrepresented the facts forty-three times.” Instead, you can say something like, “I have difficulty accepting consequences for my own actions, and I frequently find myself in a situation where I prefer to mislead people rather than being honest about what I’ve done. I’m prideful and I don’t take other people into account, even if it’s only dumb stuff that doesn’t really matter. I need to respect them more by being truthful with them, and stop being selfish and cowardly.”

Or something. But it allows you to hit the high points of untruthfulness, pride, self-centeredness, and things like that that are at the root of our choice to sin, rather than just enumerating the actions themselves like a laundry list.

 

[Quis_UtDeus]

Don’t resort to despair or Scrupulousity!
God loves you immensly and the fact that you feel so much remorse for it shows how much you want forgiveness for it.

But forgive yourself for you went to confession twice for it and recieved absolution! You’re absolutely fine and God has forgiven you. As priests say “Go in peace” and do your best to do acts of charity snd move towards the Lord in all that you do.

Pray and keep praying.
Godbless.

 

[Theo2]

It is the bad angels who keep briningg this up. Like everyone has said your sin was forgiven the first time. Do you know that God on purpose forgets your sin after you are absolved. Go and sin no more! But when you do, we all do, go back to confession and get cleaned again!

 

[po18guy]

The following is offered In case it applies. NOT stating that it does.

Anxiety/OCD is a rampaging epidemic. 64 million in the US alone suffer from some form of anxiety. Anxiety steals peace and nurtures doubt - which is corrosive to faith. It is insidious and often invisible to the sufferer, but is obvious to those around them.

Anxiety, in many, if not most cases is the result of a learned but disordered cognitive process. It can be unlearned via Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

1 in 5 who are reading this may indeed suffer from anxiety/OCD/scrupulosity. In the medical world, those with anxiety often claim to be “proactive” regarding their health. In the spiritual realm, those with scrupulosity may believe that they are actually “deep thinkers.”

Regurgitating and ruminating on sins that have been destroyed, and for which penance has been done can stand as evidence of anxiety - of putting hand to plow and looking back.

Before anyone flames, this is only for those to whom it applies.

 

[Irishmom2]

You were forgiven at your first confession. Put it behind you and don’t look back. Be at peace, it is what you do from now on that matters.

 

[otrrl]

Can I make a polite request? Don’t “explain” your sins to the priest. Please remember the rest of us waiting in line to go to confession, too.

bang, bang, bang.

I lied , two times
i stole $10, once
I took God’s name in vain, 4 times.

Now, how long did that take? what, 20 seconds. You REALLY don’t need to “explain” your sins.

Getting spiritual advice is an entirely different matter, and the confessional is not the best place. Even this website is not the best place. i don’t know of a website that offers spiritual advice.

One part of spiritual advice is overcoming sin. If something is sinful, stop doing it. Stop making excuses. Your goal is holiness, not figuring out how to “game” the system and just do what you want. In confession, the priest is “there” but you are really confessing to God. Do you think you need to “explain” anything to God?

Guilt is an emotion of the mind and body. It should be helpful to use to re-direct our way towards God.

 

[Ardent_Fire]

When you go to confession, you are saying you are sorry for ALL of your sins. ALL of them, even the ones you don’t remember well or happen to unintentionally forget in the confessional. They are ALL GONE. God has forgiven you, which means you must forgive yourself.

Like po18guy pointed out, consider getting help as you may be afflicted with OCD/anxiety and scruples.