Baptism of my grandaughter

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bauerice

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I am a Roman Catholic. I converted 5 years ago. My grandaughter attends Catholic school. My daughter is not Catholic but wishes my grandaughter to be baptized, She is in second grade and her class is going for first communion. She would like to be able to join her classmates. The issue is the priest will not baptize her because my daughter isn’t Catholic. I and my sister(who is RC as well) would make sure she attends Mass weekly but, he still says no. What should I do? Is this the policy of the RCC?
 
The priest may have doubts that she would be raised in the Catholic faith which is a lot more than just going to Mass on Sunday. He may also have doubts about your granddaughter’s desire for Communion since it may be more about doing what her classmates are doing than a true desire to receive Christ in the Eucharist.

For sacramental purposes your granddaughter is an adult so her preparation for baptism is going to be longer and the baptism wouldn’t happen until next Easter. It’s a tremendous responsibility for a little one.
 
The parents have to be Catholic, and be willing to raise the child in a Catholic home. As you know, there is a lot more to being Catholic than just going to Catholic school and going to Mass.
 
bauerice said:
I am a Roman Catholic. I converted 5 years ago. My grandaughter attends Catholic school. My daughter is not Catholic but wishes my grandaughter to be baptized, She is in second grade and her class is going for first communion. She would like to be able to join her classmates. The issue is the priest will not baptize her because my daughter isn’t Catholic. I and my sister(who is RC as well) would make sure she attends Mass weekly but, he still says no. What should I do? Is this the policy of the RCC?
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WellHave you spoken directly to the pastor yourself? If so you might try writing the Bishop and explaining the situation. With neither of her parents being Catholic and you not having custody of the child it’s difficult to justify.
 
One of the parents needs to be Catholic in order to be baptized in the Catholic Church from my understanding.

God Bless,
Matt
 
jmcrae said:
The parents have to be Catholic, and be willing to raise the child in a Catholic home. As you know, there is a lot more to being Catholic than just going to Catholic school and going to Mass.
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Not exactly. The child is over the age of reason, and therefore she can ask for baptism herself. Her parents do not have to be Catholic, as is typically the case with *infant *baptism when they are making the promise on behalf of the child. In this case, the child would be making the promises herself.

I suggest the OP contact someone at the diocesan office in the RCIA ministry.

Any person over the age of reason can ask for baptism of their own volition, and should not be denied based on their parents’ religion. The child would go through the RCIA process and receive all three Sacraments of Initiation next Easter.
 
bauerice said:
I am a Roman Catholic. I converted 5 years ago. My grandaughter attends Catholic school. My daughter is not Catholic but wishes my grandaughter to be baptized, She is in second grade and her class is going for first communion. She would like to be able to join her classmates. The issue is the priest will not baptize her because my daughter isn’t Catholic. I and my sister(who is RC as well) would make sure she attends Mass weekly but, he still says no. What should I do? Is this the policy of the RCC?
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if she is old enough for first communion (generally age 7 or above) she is olde enough for RCIA, the children’s catechumenate, which is the process by which adults and children of catechetical age are prepared for initiation into the Church through the sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation and First Communion conferred at the same time, after a period of preparation not less than one calendar year. The priest is within his rights and in fact obligated to refrain from baptizing an infant unless there is assurance the child will be raised Catholic, and by extension also a young child, unless and until the child herself gives evidence of a conversion in terms appropriate to her age, and desire and intention for the sacraments. What is, IMO, happening is not that the priest has refused categorically to baptize the child because the mother is not Catholic, but that he is delaying baptism until such time as the mother gives evidence of intent to raise the child Catholic, and if the child is over age 7, the child herself expresses desire for the sacraments.

Since we have this 4th or 5th hand, and don’t know what either the mother, child or priest actually said, we cannot judge.
 
jmcrae said:
The parents have to be Catholic, and be willing to raise the child in a Catholic home. As you know, there is a lot more to being Catholic than just going to Catholic school and going to Mass.
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no the parents do not necessarily have to be Catholic, but as stated have to give assurance the child will be raised Catholic.
 
She is 8 (9 in Aug). She loves the church and calls the priest/pastor “my father”. My daughter is a single parent, and her (grandaughters) natural father has NEVER seen her. I know it’s a difficult and touchy issue. I may contact the Diocese office and ask.
 
bauerice said:
She is 8 (9 in Aug). She loves the church and calls the priest/pastor “my father”. My daughter is a single parent, and her (grandaughters) natural father has NEVER seen her. I know it’s a difficult and touchy issue. I may contact the Diocese office and ask.
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At that age it’s about a year of preparation for Baptism/Confirmation/Communion.
 
I can tell you the policy here for children in the Catholic school, esp since it came up this year. If they have been attending since 1st grade that constitutes their 1st year, corresponding to the inquiry period, the pre-catechumenate, initial evangelization (all good names for this time). sometime after Easter (now) they celebrate the Rite of Acceptance in to the Order of the Catechumenate, and begin immediate preparation for the sacraments of initiation. For this year they will probably attend a weekly class with other children also preparing for initiation, in addition to their regular school religion class. That is because more than doctrinal instruction is involved. for more info look on the RCIA threads on the evangelization forum.

so she would receive the sacraments next Easter, about the same time her classmates are making their first communion.

it is the pastor’s job to discern whether or not the parents and the child both want this, and hence is responsibility to interview both, and possibly family members who will serve as sponsors and godparents, to insure the child wants the sacraments and will be raised Catholic. it might be best for grandma to focus her efforts on influencing and supporting the daughter (child’s mother) if she thinks that would be fruitful.
 
Is this RCC policy?
Pretty much so, yes. What you are dealing with is the idea that the parents are the primary and major teachers of the faith to the children. When one or both parents are non-Catholic it leaves serious doubts about the quality of in home instruction that the child will receive. As neither you nor your sister is a member of the immediate family, the pastor is following standard practice in refusing baptism and Eucharist. If your daughter wants the granddaughter baptized, maybe she will receive instruction and enter the church as well. You must admit that it would work better that way in any event.

Matthew
 
just want to add congratulations and appreciation for the grandparent so concerned with the well being of the grandchild. IMO if the parents are the child’s first teachers, the grandparents are the second, and in reality, at least in the field where I labor, grandparents are usually the main reason children become and remain Catholic.
 
An old post but, a new developments. We went to a different parish, where my sister attends, according the priest there, she is old enough to decide on her own. She begins RCIA in September. She will attend Mass at my sisters parish. They are excused before the Mass begins, receive a blessing, and go to class. My daughter is pleased because she will not have to attend the classes, go to church, just be there a couple times and at the Easter Vigil.
 
thanks for the update, I trust this lucky child’s good grandma will be very involved as a sponsor and mentor for her in this process. nobody can say where this will lead, but I can attest, in the 10 years in which I have been so closely involved in RCIA for children, every year at least one family (and usually more) is dramatically, visibly touched by the sacramental grace the child receives through the Easter sacraments, and before long the adults are returning to the sacraments, attending Mass, completing initiation, getting marriages convalidated, becoming more active in parish life and ministries. Easily the best most reward aspect of my job. So stand back and be prepared, the Holy Spirit will definitely be working in your family.
 
puzzleannie said:
thanks for the update, I trust this lucky child’s good grandma will be very involved as a sponsor and mentor for her in this process. nobody can say where this will lead, but I can attest, in the 10 years in which I have been so closely involved in RCIA for children, every year at least one family (and usually more) is dramatically, visibly touched by the sacramental grace the child receives through the Easter sacraments, and before long the adults are returning to the sacraments, attending Mass, completing initiation, getting marriages convalidated, becoming more active in parish life and ministries. Easily the best most reward aspect of my job. So stand back and be prepared, the Holy Spirit will definitely be working in your family.
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This is the best post I have ever seen on CAF!

God Bless
 
bauerice said:
I am a Roman Catholic. I converted 5 years ago. My grandaughter attends Catholic school. My daughter is not Catholic but wishes my grandaughter to be baptized, She is in second grade and her class is going for first communion. She would like to be able to join her classmates. The issue is the priest will not baptize her because my daughter isn’t Catholic. I and my sister(who is RC as well) would make sure she attends Mass weekly but, he still says no. What should I do? Is this the policy of the RCC?
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First let’s make sure that you are speaking with the pastor at the parish you attend, not the priest at the school. second because she is old enough to be catechized for First Holy Communion, she is no longer able to be Baptized as an infant. She would have to attend RCIA for children and be received into the Church with Baptism, Confirmation and Communion at the Easter Vigil.
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
First let’s make sure that you are speaking with the pastor at the parish you attend, not the priest at the school. second because she is old enough to be catechized for First Holy Communion, she is no longer able to be Baptized as an infant. She would have to attend RCIA for children and be received into the Church with Baptism, Confirmation and Communion at the Easter Vigil.
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All those points are correct. Although it is the Parish my sister attends not the home parish of the school. We talked to the Pastor/Parish Priest and she will attend childrens RCIA. She will receive Baptism and first Communion but, confirmation will be with her class at a later date. She will attend there but, go to school in another Parish. The Parish my sister attends doesn’t have a school and offers their children 3 different school options. As far as the grandmother being involved…my late wife died in 1991.
 
bauerice said:
All those points are correct. Although it is the Parish my sister attends not the home parish of the school. We talked to the Pastor/Parish Priest and she will attend childrens RCIA. She will receive Baptism and first Communion but, confirmation will be with her class at a later date. She will attend there but, go to school in another Parish. The Parish my sister attends doesn’t have a school and offers their children 3 different school options. As far as the grandmother being involved…my late wife died in 1991.
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All of that is correct except that being of catechetical age and in RCIA she must according to the norms of the Rite receive Baptism, Confirmation and Holy Communion all at the same time, normally at the Easter Vigil.
 
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