Baptism question for those with non-Catholic family

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ConfusedLucy

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I know that traditions for this important ceremony vary a lot anyway but I’m particularly curious about the experiences of those who don’t have many other Catholics in their life.

In my case I’m a Catholic married to a non-denom, I decided against a full Catholic mass for the wedding because besides me there would have been only maybe 6 others receiving the Eucharist.

We are expecting our first child and I’m struggling with what to do for Baptism. With a lot of sadness I have accepted we will have to have Godparents picked out for us. How have people explained why the honour is going to a stranger and not someone in the family?

In this situation would/did you still invite people to witness the Baptism? Would/did you invite these Godparents to the party afterwards?
 
Blessings,
My father was Methodist Episcopal. My parish let him be a godfather for my niece. She had 2 godmothers. If Protestants are loving God and you see Him work in their lives and they don’t hate Catholics, ask the priest if that person could be a god parent., I’m sure, 1 would have to be Catholic. THEN,1 a deep Spiritual Protestant. In fact, Both GP’s should be devout Christians. Maybe they’d let you have 3 or 4 GP’s. What’s important is that they are to help teach your child about Jesus and the Bible and the Church.
I would invite all family to the party. Including the GP’s who you might not know but need to embrace.
Lord, a life is born. A family is created. Let them rejoice in Your love for them.
In Christ’s Love
Tweedlealice
 
We are going to cross this bridge in a few months. We’ll see how my wife’s family reacts. My wife and I agreed if we got married by her priest instead of my dad he would be able to baptize our children.
 
I think the two biggest problems for me is that,
  1. I really hate the thought of having someone forced on us, I ended up having to have a catechist as my confirmation sponsor which I just found humiliating, I would have preferred to do it alone
  2. I’m really uncomfortable making people I love and who love me witness us honoring a stranger who we don’t especially care about
I guess this varies by parish but would you get much say in who was chosen for you? If you have multiple Godparents would their names go on the certificate?
 
Start getting to know people in your parish. The godparent/sponsor represents the Catholic Church and have to be a baptised Catholic. When adults are received into the Catholic Church it is the sponsor who is asked by the bishop during Admissio if the “Catholic to be” is prepared to start living as a Catholic etc. There are 4 or 5 questions asked and the “Catholic to be” only says “Amen” after the prayer. A sponsor or godparent is there to help you grow in the Catholic faith. There is always “God, I and the whole Catholic Church” in the Catholic Church. It is never “me and God only”. The sponsor or godparent has at least once in their life made a Profession of Faith in the Catholic Church. It is before receiving First Holy Communion or if they are converts when they are received or baptised into the Church. That is what you can say to your relatives. Other Christians can witness the baptism so you could have one Catholic who is the godparent and then one of your relatives that witness.

It is polite to invite the godparents to the party afterward if you are going to have a party. Your relatives and friends can always decline to attend if they are invited. It is their choice. If there aren’t that many people that are coming would it be possible to have the baptism during a mass on Saturday instead and then a simple lunch or dinner with family, friends and godparents?
 
ConfusedLucy said:
How have people explained why the honour is going to a stranger and not someone in the family?
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It’s the parents decision. Nobody else has a say. Also non-catholics can’t be godparents.
ConfusedLucy said:
In this situation would/did you still invite people to witness the Baptism? Would/did you invite these Godparents to the party afterwards?
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Depends. Maybe it’d be better to just have a small private baptism? That’s up to you I guess.
 
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I am finally at the point where there are some people I talk to after mass at tea and coffee but it took about 2 years, it could take several more years before I have people I actually want to ask to be Godparents. I don’t know if delaying until this point is wise.

Since my time at university it has felt like me and God only and I have had to learn how to practice my faith alone.

I’m guessing at a.minimum these people will have a criminal records check?
 
I thought one of the godparents had to be Catholic, then the other just had to agree to ensure the child was raised Catholic should the need arise, and could be non-Catholic (preferably Christian I would suppose)
 
I don’t even have one. The Catholics I mentioned at my wedding are now either deceased or to unwell for the journey.
 
Making sure that your idea of godparent is the same as the Church’s idea.

The Baptismal Sponsor(s) fill a spiritual role, they pray for your child, they are strong Catholics who can help when the kid has questions about the Faith.

The Baptismal Sponsor(s) are not the “people who will raise my child if I die”. While the same people could fill both roles if you want, the guardian of your kids is something you set up in your will.

So, the godparents could live in Alaska or Spain or next door to you, they do not have to attend the Baptism (someone can stand in for them).

You may chose one man and one woman, they do not have to be married to each other. At least one must be a practicing Catholic. The other may be a “Christian Witness”, they must be a validly baptized Christian and not a lapsed Catholic.
 
I just don’t think there is a Catholic person that really fulfils this in my family’s case. I have some non-Catholic friends who I swap prayer requests with and feel I could trust to talk to them about Jesus but no Catholics.
 
You mentioned that you volunteered at the parish. Is there a Deacon or someone in the Religious Ed group who you think would be a good example?

You could ask a priest, most of them I’ve met have many godchildren.
 
This was several years ago and a different town, I didn’t really become close with any of the other volunteers, different life stages I guess. I’m just not that great at parish life and haven’t ever met anyone I have really clicked with.

I don’t really want my child to be just one of a collection of Godchildren for some volunteer if I can help it but I expect I will just have to accept something I don’t want in order for the baptism to go ahead but am considering all my options.
 
I considered being asked to be a godmother the highest honour someone could pay me. If someone new to my parish asked me to be that to their child I would be delighted. I already have 3 goddaughters whom I love, but none live near me and the younger two, unfortunately, are not being raised Catholic. To be able to share in a child’s life day to day as they grow in the faith would be wonderful!
 
Only one godparent is required, and this person must be Catholic. The other person could be a “Christian witness” but not a godparent if he or she is not Catholic.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
I don’t really want my child to be just one of a collection of Godchildren for some volunteer
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:cry:

I have been blessed to be asked to serve as a Baptismal and a Confirmation sponsor on several occasions. Every day, without fail, I pray for all of them. Some of them I have only seen in photographs, yet, I love them. This is a great honor and I am humbled each time I am asked.

God knew that I would not ever be blessed with grandchildren, so, he provided a “collection” of godchildren.
 
It just seems like a lot of trust to put in a virtual stranger. It just wouldn’t be my first option.
 
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