Baptism question for those with non-Catholic family

  • Thread starter Thread starter ConfusedLucy
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Perhaps it is best when thinking about this and when talking to non-Catholic family to use the proper term “Baptismal Sponsor” instead of “Godparent”.

To the OP, what about the person who was your sponsor into the Church?
 
I feel your pain. My family is Catholic and husband’s is not (he converted). Our first child is going to have Catholics from my side as godparents, and I’m a little worried my mother in law will be offended that my siblings can be godparents but my husband’s brother cannot. Honestly, he wouldn’t even be a good Christian witness, but I don’t really want to get into that with her.
 
My confirmation sponsor lives about 200 miles away and we haven’t spoken in about 6 years. My own Godparents are extended family who have fallen out with my parents and aren’t practicing. I don’t think churches were so strict back then and you could get away with a lapsed Catholic.

My parish doesn’t have any regular evening groups. Still at least this parish has tea and coffee after mass, my last one didn’t.

Allegra has pretty much summed it up. I would rather just not have Godparents for now. If I do later become close to anyone at my parish then I’m happy for them to become a spiritual influence for my children. It’s a lovely tradition when you have the right person but it’s very awkward when you don’t.
 
We don’t do background checks on Baptismal sponsors. If the priest is recommending a person, likely they are very good Catholics (possibly already background checked for ministry anyway). I would rather have a stranger that will actually PRAY for my child than a lapsed Catholic who sees it as a ceremony only. That would be useless to the child.
 
I expect this is something I will have to just put up with in order to get my child baptised. Realistically I know the risks are low but it just seems courteous to me to try and provide some reassurance to the family.

I’m thinking about a very small low key baptism ceremony and a separate party for my non-Catholic friends and family to welcome the new addition.

I’m open to trying to get to know the Godparents in time if we are at the same mass to try and make the best of an awkward situation.
 
Blessings, I was surprised when our Pastor allowed my Methodist Dad b/c a God parent. He raised 3 kids Catholic. I guess that’s why. We had 2 females and my Dad.
In Christ’s love.
Tweedlealice
 
Often Baptisms here are done within the Sunday Mass, there are a few that have one after but more often it’s part of the Mass.
 
tweedlealice said:
Blessings, I was surprised when our Pastor allowed my Methodist Dad b/c a God parent. He raised 3 kids Catholic. I guess that’s why. We had 2 females and my Dad.
In Christ’s love.
Tweedlealice
Click to expand...
As previous posters have explained, we do not use the term ‘godparent’ in the Catholic Church, so I think you are confusing the issue a bit there, Tweedlealice.

At a Catholic baptism, there is a 'sponsor. who must be a practising Catholic, and there can be ‘witnesses’ who don’t have to be.

It’s unlikely that your Pastor didn’t keep the rules, so presumably one of the women was the actual sponsor and the other two people were witnesses?
 
paperwight said:
40.png
tweedlealice:
Blessings, I was surprised when our Pastor allowed my Methodist Dad b/c a God parent. He raised 3 kids Catholic. I guess that’s why. We had 2 females and my Dad.
In Christ’s love.
Tweedlealice
Click to expand...
As previous posters have explained, we do not use the term ‘godparent’ in the Catholic Church, so I think you are confusing the issue a bit there, Tweedlealice.

At a Catholic baptism, there is a 'sponsor. who must be a practising Catholic, and there can be ‘witnesses’ who don’t have to be.

It’s unlikely that your Pastor didn’t keep the rules, so presumably one of the women was the actual sponsor and the other two people were witnesses?
Click to expand...
While Canon Law refers to sponsor, everything we see published for the parents and sponsors refers to “godparent”, “godmother”, or “godfather”. This is the same kind of semantics we see with “reader” and “lector”.

This gets even more confusing in RCIA when you have a sponsor who accompanies you from the beginning of your journey and who may or may not be your sponsor at Baptism. In other words, you can have a sponsor for the year’s journey and someone else as your godparent. The godparent, if a different person, takes over near the end of the journey.
 
Last edited:
While that is sentimental, the priest either recorded one Catholic sponsor woman and your dad as a Christian Witness and the other lady was simply an ‘honorary godparent’ or your priest violated Canon law.

There are rules and they apply to everyone. Saying “my priest broke the rules” does not really help.
 
In your parish that may be the practice, in other parishes private baptisms are the norm. This is up to the pastor. At my parish there are rarely baptisms during Mass because we have to get folks out of the parking lot so the next crowd can come in! Baptisms are done usually on a Saturday afternoon in these parts.
 
We’re a one Mass on Sunday parish! no rushing for others to come in here
 
I’ve never seen a baptism during a mass. I imagine this works better in a parish where most of the childs family and friends are also fellow parishioners rather than a parish where these would be large numbers of additional people travelling in.
 
TheLittleLady said:
While that is sentimental, the priest either recorded one Catholic sponsor woman and your dad as a Christian Witness and the other lady was simply an ‘honorary godparent’ or your priest violated Canon law.

There are rules and they apply to everyone. Saying “my priest broke the rules” does not really help.
Click to expand...
You’d be surprised at what you find included in various registers of Baptism. From several godparents for one child to two godmothers only to two non-Catholics because the priest didn’t inquire about the religion of those the parents named as sponsors.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
I decided against a full Catholic mass
Click to expand...
What would you mean by “full catholic mass”?

Asking, because there’s the Sacrament of Marriage. I am guessing, approaching the later point in your post, it meant not having the Eucharist celebrated (I.e. not being a fully Catholic Mass.).

So, just what I can draw, deduce, and surmise, likely a full Catholic Mass moist be referring to having the Blessed Sacrament offered. Which if the Sacrament: the Blood, Body, Soul, and Dcinity of Jesus wasn’t offered there, then a Mass would not had happened, but the Marital Sacrament. For since the Eucharist is the source and summit of the Mass, without it, there is no Mass. His kingship must ever preside in the offering of prayer through worship. And since that didn’t happen, there was no mass. Only saying this just as a reflection and moment of clarity…

Thus, there is no such thing as not a full Mass. it either was a Mass, took place, or happened. Or there wasn’t.

You don’t have to have a Mass Celebrated for any of the Sacraments, except for the Eucharist (first Communion.) Maybe for Confirmation also, but I am not absolutely sure about that either.
 
Last edited:
I’m not 100% sure what they call them but agree it wasn’t a mass as there wasn’t communion.
 
Given your concern for a background check, coupled with the need for a godparent strong in the faith, you might ask Father to help you discern a parish member who has undergone this check as part of participating in a church ministry. musicians, readers, catechists, Catholic school teachers, religious associated with your parish, extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion, might all be potential godparents for your child.
May God bless you as you discern His choice.
Amen.
 
Last edited:
ConfusedLucy said:
I’m not 100% sure what they call them but agree it wasn’t a mass as there wasn’t communion.
Click to expand...
Honestly, me too 🙂 That’s a good question. I will try to ask my friend. He’s really studied up on the faith, the whole Church, Her structure, and dynamics. Will try to reply with an answer he gives me. And link references that may help. At least I am now curious what would they call it…if not a Mass. Good question that your topic opened and inadvertently begs. Which is good and profitable. Thank you for bringing this topic up. It got me thinking more.
 
Last edited:
BoyGenius said:
40.png
ConfusedLucy:
I’m not 100% sure what they call them but agree it wasn’t a mass as there wasn’t communion.
Click to expand...
Honestly, me too 🙂 That’s a good question. I will try to ask my friend. He’s really studied up on the faith, the whole Church, Her structure, and dynamics. Will try to reply with an answer he gives me. And link references that may help. At least I am now curious what would they call it…if not a Mass. Good question that your topic opened and inadvertently begs. Which is good and profitable. Thank you for bringing this topic up. It got me thinking more.
Click to expand...
If there were readings and such it’s a Liturgy of the Word. Weddings, funerals, baptisms can all be celebrated within a Liturgy of the Word.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top