Baptisms without joining the Church

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sunandstars

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This is rather a complicated story but the basics of is this:

My son is happy to be Baptised. He is doing this for his mother, mostly, but not totally. He is 25 and about to embark on a part of life that will not afford him much spiritual nourishment. It might last a long time.

He is VERY shy, will not attend RCIA or talk to a priest. He grew up Catholic. (Long story as to why he is not baptised).
Mom wants him baptised because of the cleansing of Original Sin. Both he and mom are happy to let the rest come in time.
Is there any chance we could get a priest to baptise him only, with no intention (but hope) to actually join the Church?
 
No. To be baptised into Christ is to become a member of His Body, Which is the Church. Your son would do well actually to sit down and talk about this with a priest, and it should be addressed sufficiently in his RCIA classes as well.
 
Would it seem to be moral in your eyes to marry to people to each other who are happy to have the ceremony, but won´t spend their life together, just because the priest hopes they still do?
I doubt.
I would search for a priest he is comfortable with, sometimes even shy people are able to take trust and get interested. I don´t now if RCIA in the US is mandatory, I don´t know, to be serious, if I´d liked to attend. We have a more freely structurated group and met often all together in a restaurant for example.
 
sunandstars said:
He grew up Catholic. (Long story as to why he is not baptised).
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That does sound complicated. You should talk to your pastor about this. I don’t think he necessarily needs to go through RCIA, but that would be the pastor’s decision to make if I remember correctly.
 
Thanks for the answers. We’re a bit worried in case he gets hurt, or worse.
We could sleep better if he were at least baptised.
 
To baptize one not in true danger of dying, there has to be reasonable hope of him or her practicing/growing in the Faith from what I understand.
 
I have every reason to believe he will enter the Church. He loves the Church and attends with me at a local monastery. But he is very shy, and won’t speak with others about religion. Although he does with me. I believe he will grow out of that and will become a part of the Church.
My dilemma is that something might happen to him before he does…
 
If he is not going to actively (try) to live the faith he’s probably better off not getting baptized until he’s ready to make that commitment. Baptism comes with many graces, but it also comes with duties.
 
Unless your son has faith, any attempt at baptism would be invalid and without spiritual efficacy. No priest is allowed to baptized without “well founded hope” of the practice of the faith. Baptism is a sacrament, not a blessing or magic.
 
sunandstars said:
will not attend RCIA or talk to a priest
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No, Catechism:
1233 Today in all the rites, Latin and Eastern, the Christian initiation of adults begins with their entry into the catechumenate and reaches its culmination in a single celebration of the three sacraments of initiation: Baptism, Confirmation, and the Eucharist.37 …

The Baptism of adults

1247 Since the beginning of the Church, adult Baptism is the common practice where the proclamation of the Gospel is still new. The catechumenate (preparation for Baptism) therefore occupies an important place. This initiation into Christian faith and life should dispose the catechumen to receive the gift of God in Baptism, Confirmation, and the Eucharist.

1248 The catechumenate, or formation of catechumens, aims at bringing their conversion and faith to maturity, in response to the divine initiative and in union with an ecclesial community. The catechumenate is to be "a formation in the whole Christian life . . . during which the disciples will be joined to Christ their teacher. The catechumens should be properly initiated into the mystery of salvation and the practice of the evangelical virtues, and they should be introduced into the life of faith, liturgy, and charity of the People of God by successive sacred rites."47

1249 Catechumens "are already joined to the Church, they are already of the household of Christ, and are quite frequently already living a life of faith, hope, and charity."48 "With love and solicitude mother Church already embraces them as her own."49
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But this part worries me… Jesus said unless you are born again of water and the spirit you will not enter heaven… he didn’t say join the Roman Catholic Church… can you not confess your sins, accept Jesus as your savior and get baptized??? Seems like the churches should be doing a whole lot more baptizing… I don’t mean to take anything away from the Catholic Church. I’ve been Catholic my whole life and treasure the gifts that have been given to be via my parents and the Church. I just worry about all the folks out there who can’t accept to be part of a church but do accept Jesus. Maybe accepting the church will come with time and so why not baptize???
 
Without having and living the faith, no one can be born of spirit and water.
 
The Church is the the bride of Christ; they are a package deal. You don’t get to choose one without the other.
 
sunandstars said:
Is there any chance we could get a priest to baptise him only, with no intention (but hope) to actually join the Church?
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There should not be a chance. Baptism is the entrance rite into the Church, and joins those who receive it into the Church. If a person does not actually want to be a member of the Church, then the person would be asking for the Sacrament for the wrong reasons.

Since baptism is the beginning, there is no expectation that one get “beyond” it at the outset. It is understood that everyone will grow in faith after baptism.
sunandstars said:
Thanks for the answers. We’re a bit worried in case he gets hurt, or worse.

We could sleep better if he were at least baptised.
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It is a righteous worry.
sunandstars said:
I have every reason to believe he will enter the Church.
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Baptism IS entering the Church. It has nothing to do with being a member of the local parish.
sunandstars said:
I believe he will grow out of that and will become a part of the Church.
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Even if he never gets to a point of being active in the Church community, or wants to talk about his faith, he will become part of the Church when he is baptized.
petra22 said:
But this part worries me… Jesus said unless you are born again of water and the spirit you will not enter heaven… he didn’t say join the Roman Catholic Church…
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This is true. the Latin Rite of the Church did not yet exist at that time. Baptism joins us to Christ in His death and resurrection. It has nothing to do with joining a particular parish.
petra22 said:
can you not confess your sins, accept Jesus as your savior and get baptized???
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Yes.
petra22 said:
I just worry about all the folks out there who can’t accept to be part of a church but do accept Jesus. Maybe accepting the church will come with time and so why not baptize???
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All trintiarian baptisms are accepted as valid by the Catholic Church.

We pray that we may all be One, as He and the Father are One.
 
petra22 said:
But this part worries me… Jesus said unless you are born again of water and the spirit you will not enter heaven… he didn’t say join the Roman Catholic Church… can you not confess your sins, accept Jesus as your savior and get baptized??? Seems like the churches should be doing a whole lot more baptizing… …
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Just participating in a water baptism ritual as an adult is insufficient. One that does not have faith (see profession of faith CCC 1229) is not born again. The profession of faith is in the Catholic Church includes:

P: Do you renounce Satan?
All: I do renounce him.
P: And all his works?
All: I do renounce them.
P: And all his attractions?
All: I do renounce them.
6. Next the priest questions them on the Creed, saying:
P: Do you believe in God, the Father almighty, Creator of heaven and earth?
All: I do believe.
P: Do you believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord, who was born into this world and suffered for us?
All: I do believe.
P: Do you also believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting?
All: I do believe.

Catechism
1229 From the time of the apostles, becoming a Christian has been accomplished by a journey and initiation in several stages. This journey can be covered rapidly or slowly, but certain essential elements will always have to be present: proclamation of the Word, acceptance of the Gospel entailing conversion, profession of faith, Baptism itself, the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, and admission to Eucharistic communion.
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sunandstars said:
We’re a bit worried in case he gets hurt, or worse.

We could sleep better if he were at least baptised.
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Keep in mind that baptism isn’t ‘magic’. It’s not as if, when he gets baptized, he gets his ticket punched and he’s done everything he must in order to attain to heaven.

Once he’s baptized, he takes on certain obligations (attendance at Mass, living a Catholic lifestyle, participation in the sacraments). If he’s baptized and not doing these things, he really is putting his salvation in jeopardy!

So, it’s almost better that he put off baptism until such a time as he’s ready to assume those obligations!

(p.s., as an adult, he would not only be baptized, but also confirmed and receive Eucharist for the first time.)
 
guanophore said:
There should not be a chance. Baptism is the entrance rite into the Church, and joins those who receive it into the Church. If a person does not actually want to be a member of the Church, then the person would be asking for the Sacrament for the wrong reasons.
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But Baptism is legal and right and recognized by other churches if it is done properly. Actually, what are the qualifications??? pour water, say the words I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit… One doesn’t have to be Catholic to be sacramentally baptized, right???
 
petra22 said:
But Baptism is legal and right and recognized by other churches if it is done properly. Actually, what are the qualifications??? pour water, say the words I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit… One doesn’t have to be Catholic to be sacramentally baptized, right???
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No, but it would be improper to ask the Church/priest for a Sacrament under false pretenses.
 
Sounds like he might be joining the military? Check with the Archdiocese for the Military and found out who the Catholic priest is at his base. That priest can arrange instruction.
 
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