Baptist Husband doesn't want me to convert

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MeganKichler said:
the church designs and priest’s vestments come from the roman empire (in the roman rite, anyway, which accounts for some 98% of catholics), not the old testament.
the liturgy (or ritual, if you prefer) does, indeed, hail back to the old testament, which is important because it is the foundation of the new testament.
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Perhaps you can remind your husband of what he as a Baptist should believe actually,
That the Father sent His beloved Son to fulfill the prophecies of the old testament .

Peace, Carlan
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MeganKichler said:
It’s true. We do love eachother very much. He is a great man who would lay down his life for me. In fact, this is the only major disagreement that we have. I didn’t mean to make him sound cold hearted when I said he was stubborn. He’s just very… opinionated. I did wheedle it out of him, which maybe I shouldn’t. However, luckily we are past the point in our relationship where we get defensive and shut down. ha! I think that is very good advice though. I will definitely try to bring that perspective in next time we talk about it. We are learning to Love God again. We both were “troublesome youths” and turned away from God. Now, we’re on shaky ground I suppose since we’re having to learn all over again. Like learning how to walk after a bad wreck. I definitely need prayers about the Spirit guiding my tongue and speaking through me when discussing this with him. Thank you.
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I did not get the impression he was “cold hearted”. Heck I’m “stubborn” and “opinionated” too, but my wife and I have always gotten along because of our respect for each other as people. I believe that the same will be true for you…just based on what you have shared.

Re: Prayers for a Spirit Guided tongue. You got it.
The best thing to do in this regard is to look at your husband with the same eyes that saw him on your wedding day. The Love you have for each other will do a lot to guide your conversation. Also, there can be little doubt that your conversations as well as your participation in RCIA will provide questions, answers, and insights for you both.

And of course you can post questions here on the forums too…

What a wonderful time and journey for you both to be taking.

Peace
James
 
snarflemike said:
Your husband wants you to live your spiritual life according to his biases and misconceptions about the Catholic Church. Put it to him that way and ask if that is showing you the love and respect you deserve as his wife. You could also tell him that in return you are willing to allow him to remain a Baptist, even though it is a rejection of the Church and sacraments and complete bible given to us by Christ. 😉

Remember that the Catholic Church has an answer to all of these objections. He doesn’t get to object without hearing the Catholic answer to an objection. That’s only fair.

Good luck!
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mike,
I think that if you look at the OP again, you will see that it was Megan who forced him to open up, and he was then truthful about his feelings - which he previously withheld in order to not hurt or distress his wife. I don’t really see anyone being unloving or disrespectful in this. Quite the contrary actually.

I do agree that the Church has answers to each of his objections and misconceptions. hopefully their journey nearer to God will be abundantly fruitful.

Peace
James
 
MeganKichler said:
I live in Rayville at the momoent which is 2 1/2 hours away from Shreveport. There’s only on little catholic church here that has about 15 members none of which are our age. I drive about 25 minutes to get to church (we used to live down the road from it - it’s where i take RCIA)
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NE Louisiana is very Baptist. I’m was Baptist and recently converted. Not too far (about 45 mins) from her in Monroe/West Monroe there are 2 Baptist mega-churches. In this area I wouldn’t think it would be possible to have a mega-church, but one has an annual budget of almost 2 million a year. There aren’t as many Catholic churches here.
 
maltmom said:
NE Louisiana is very Baptist. I’m was Baptist and recently converted. Not too far (about 45 mins) from her in Monroe/West Monroe there are 2 Baptist mega-churches. In this area I wouldn’t think it would be possible to have a mega-church, but one has an annual budget of almost 2 million a year. There aren’t as many Catholic churches here.
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I go to St. Paschal’s. That must be the one. I love it! It’s big but it has the feel of a small church. Everyone’s very involved and knows eachother. They’re very welcoming to newcomers as well, which is different for such large churches.
 
MeganKichler said:
I go to St. Paschal’s. That must be the one. I love it! It’s big but it has the feel of a small church. Everyone’s very involved and knows eachother. They’re very welcoming to newcomers as well, which is different for such large churches.
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The church I was referring to as a mega-church is the large Baptist church near St Paschal’s.

Good luck with RCIA and Welcome Home!!!
 
MeganKichler said:
My husband made a face and I asked him what it was for. He kept saying “Nothing” until I finally wheedled it out of him. He does not like me becoming Catholic either! He has never professed any problem with it before and it took me off guard. Now, my husband is very intelligent, but he is holding on to many misconceptions about catholicism. He doesn’t like all of the ritual involved. Thinks holy water and rosaries are superstitious. He thinks it’s all but pagan. He believes the churches are too fancy and the priests too adorned.
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I agree with JRKH’s assessment of things: it sounds like you have a very healthy relationship there.

I suspect that, in addition to his desire to be supportive, another reason why he has not previously expressed his misgivings is because he might not be entirely certain why he has them. There are, to be rather blunt, a fair few slanders of Catholicism which float around Protestant culture, and these leave many Protestants with a vague idea that Catholicism is bad and that Catholicism does not follow the Bible. Get him to come along with you to RCIA, where he can ask his questions, and he will learn just how thoroughly Catholicism has been misrepresented (and, just in case you missed it, this is a Protestant who is saying these things).

Also, you could buy him a book like this one.
 
I got my RCIA teachers to send me the slides from our classes to supplement my copious notes. They’re usually only understandable to me… Ha! I’m going to get him to look through them and help him research it and ask him to come to RCIA.
 
MeganKichler said:
I live in Rayville at the momoent which is 2 1/2 hours away from Shreveport. There’s only on little catholic church here that has about 15 members none of which are our age)
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Why is the age of the members relevant?

Edwin
 
Contarini said:
Why is the age of the members relevant?

Edwin
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Because I’ve got some pretty visible tattoos, and when a small town church isn’t used to it, they avoid you like the plague. Especially if there isn’t anyone young that they know to put aside the fears of you being bad, because they’ve seen this youth grow up, make mistakes, and still know that they’re a good person. Plus, I’ve noticed that the older you are, there’s less understanding of the popular culture (even if you don’t accept it) that a 24 year old has/is growing up in. Most older people would burn me at the stake if they knew what I was in a former life. They have a harder time understanding what you’ve dealt with because they never had to deal with it themselves. It’s just natural. When I’m that age, I won’t have any clue what kids went through. Heck, I’m 24 and I don’t understand what my 17 year old sister is going through. Plus, as a young married couple, even though they may give good advice, they aren’t knowledgeable to what young married life is like. That’s why they break classes down to age groups - so you can be with your peers who are going through the same problems, or might go through them, and who you can relate to. It’s completely understandable. Have I offended in some way? I don’t understand what this has to do with my original post or why it was necessary to ask? Not trying to be rude, just saying I don’t think it has any bearing on the matter at hand.
 
I like that there are so many books out there. I guess I should have expected it with as many catholics as there are. HA! Thanks!
 
MeganKichler said:
Because I’ve got some pretty visible tattoos, and when a small town church isn’t used to it, they avoid you like the plague. Especially if there isn’t anyone young that they know to put aside the fears of you being bad, because they’ve seen this youth grow up, make mistakes, and still know that they’re a good person. Plus, I’ve noticed that the older you are, there’s less understanding of the popular culture (even if you don’t accept it) that a 24 year old has/is growing up in. Most older people would burn me at the stake if they knew what I was in a former life. They have a harder time understanding what you’ve dealt with because they never had to deal with it themselves. It’s just natural. When I’m that age, I won’t have any clue what kids went through. Heck, I’m 24 and I don’t understand what my 17 year old sister is going through. Plus, as a young married couple, even though they may give good advice, they aren’t knowledgeable to what young married life is like. That’s why they break classes down to age groups - so you can be with your peers who are going through the same problems, or might go through them, and who you can relate to. It’s completely understandable. Have I offended in some way? I don’t understand what this has to do with my original post or why it was necessary to ask? Not trying to be rude, just saying I don’t think it has any bearing on the matter at hand.
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Megan, bear in mind that I am not in full communion with the Catholic Church myself and I’m speaking out of my own theological preoccupations–not all Catholics would agree with me. But as I see it, the primary reason to become Catholic in the first place is because Jesus wanted the Church to be one. And that oneness needs to overcome all divisions, including divisions based on age.

It’s become common for Protestants to divide the Church up based on age, social class, tastes, etc. But that’s because many evangelical Protestants think that the goal is to save lots of individual souls. The goal of Catholicism, as I understand it, is to bring us together in one Body of Christ. And this is supported by contemporary Protestant scholars like N. T. Wright. The Gospel is, at its core, not just about saving your individual soul but about being brought into the Body of Christ so that the Church, rather than your “peer group” or any other worldly factor, becomes your identity.

I’m in no position to tell you that you ought to go to the tiny church with older folks. I’m simply trying to get you to consider the possibility that you’ve dismissed it too quickly based on a very Protestant/secular way of thinking about how human beings are supposed to relate to each other.

The idea that you can’t understand people who are even a few years younger or older than yourself is, it seems to me, a particular hangup of our society and not particularly well-founded in reality. You need to learn from the wisdom of those who are older than you, and they need you as well. But you may not be ready for such an extreme level of culture shock at this point in your journey (they may not be either, but they have less excuse).

Edwin
 
MeganKichler said:
I like that there are so many books out there. I guess I should have expected it with as many catholics as there are. HA! Thanks!
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Yes, there is no shortage of books! There are lots of neat conversion stories. Scott Hahn’s “Rome Sweet Home” is good. There is also the “Surprised By Truth” series (there are 3 of them) that is edited by Patrick Madrid. It contains many conversion stories of people converting from all different backgrounds.
 
I don’t think it’s a protestant/secular way of thinking. I just think there are different ways of speaking and explaining to different age groups becuase of the different cultural aspects. For example, going to a young married couples bible group - 80 year old couples aren’t going to relate. For example, pornography is a huge problem in marriages right now. Most 80 year olds aren’t facing the same problems as younger couples. They way you dress is less likely to be an issue with older generations. They were raised to be more modest than the cleavage showing, short shorts wearing women of today. Drugs are more of a problem for teenagers and have more of a “cool person” aspect than when these people were growing up. I do definitely learn much from the wisdom of the older generations, but groing up in an evermore anti religious world, you have to combat that as much as possible to the people it pertains to the most. When I was 15 I sat in on my parents sunday school classes because mine were not in depth enough for me. So it goes both ways. But the reason for separation in these classes deals with generational relevance. Like I said, most older people wouldn’t understand the struggles I’ve had and would (and have) in their turn write me off as being a heathen. Ha!!! But I am speaking mainly in generalities. There are exceptions to every rule, of course. And there are those who’ve made it their business to understand the younger cultures, but to be perfectly honest, small town where they don’t know you - well, we’re none of us perfect. And I assume if I go there regularly they would eventually get to know me, and I don’t blame them for looking at me crazy. Though I dress conservatively and wore slacks, I still have the marks of my past. ha! I won’t write them off. It is good advice to follow becuase they may not be facing the same problems, but typically they come from a time of heartier faith and their stories are just as inspiring as people who’ve had major problems. So… Thank you!
 
Megan - Don’t worry too much about the age question…Sometimes different things peak our curiosity…😃

I certainly can understand the problem though…with such a small church you can’t even “blend into the crowd”…😊…It will obviously take some time for folks to really get passed this issue, but I do think they will.
Much can depend on how you approach things, be kind generous and open, not pushy, but friendly…dress modestly…and if/when the conversation turns to tattoos…Just explain that you are a walking testimonial of two things…
  1. People can change…
  2. Be careful what you have tattooed on your body because you are going to have to live with it a looonng time…
I might also point out that being young, being tattooed and being Catholic could work to advantage in the Lord’s work. Certainly if you approach another young person (or they approach you), you won’t be coming off “prudish” - they can see “where you’ve been” so to speak…Something that might come in handy down the road (depending on what you are called to by the Lord).

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
I might also point out that being young, being tattooed and being Catholic could work to advantage in the Lord’s work. Certainly if you approach another young person (or they approach you), you won’t be coming off “prudish” - they can see “where you’ve been” so to speak…Something that might come in handy down the road (depending on what you are called to by the Lord).

Peace
James
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Absolutely. I’ve believed this since I’ve turned my life around. I think I will definitely appeal to people like me and give them hope. With all the things I’ve done and all the things I’ve been through… there’s still redemption and hope. The bible says God will never put you through what you can’t handle. And that’s true. But there are reasons that you do go through what you go through. Not saying that God wanted/made bad things happen, only that he can open your eyes and teach you to use your experiences to help others. My biggest goal in life is not to convert thousands of people by being on tv or going out and beating down peoples doors. It’s to save those few who are considered unsaveable.
 
Mystophilus said:
There are, to be rather blunt, a fair few slanders of Catholicism which float around Protestant culture, and these leave many Protestants with a vague idea that Catholicism is bad and that Catholicism does not follow the Bible.
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that isn’t blunt. that’s an understatement! i’m glad that you’re not one of the haters.
 
MeganKichler said:
Hey, It’s been a while since I posted. Well, about a month ago I started my RCIA program and am loving it!!! However, last night I was speaking to my husband about a good friend of mine (who used to be pagan and is going through RCIA with me now Praise God!) who’s baptist wife is belittling him about becoming Catholic. My husband made a face and I asked him what it was for. He kept saying “Nothing” until I finally wheedled it out of him. He does not like me becoming Catholic either! He has never professed any problem with it before and it took me off guard. Now, my husband is very intelligent, but he is holding on to many misconceptions about catholicism. He doesn’t like all of the ritual involved. Thinks holy water and rosaries are superstitious. He thinks it’s all but pagan. He believes the churches are too fancy and the priests too adorned. I tried to tell him that it is a throwback to the old testament, and he countered with the fact that Jesus made the old testament obsolete. He doesn’t want to take away from me being happy, and it is definitely making me a better person, but he wants us to go to church together, but doesn’t want to go to Mass. I look at him as the head of the household and want to be a good wife… Should I stop going to RCIA because he doesn’t like it? Should I be dutiful and submit to him in this matter? Before I took the “leap” and started RCIA, I prayed about it. I prayed that God would show me that this was where I belonged. I have never gotten that I shouldn’t become Catholic. I do not want my husband and I to have such a great rift in our marriage, but I feel that I am right. For now, I will continue my RCIA, but if he insists I stop, what am I to do? I can’t go back to being baptist, but I want my husband and I to be one in every matter. But how can I be if my heart is not with the baptist way of doing things? I am praying that he will come around and perhaps become more educated on the subject, but I know how stubborn he can be, especially when one grows up hearing all of the overblown arguments against Catholicism. Advice and prayers welcome.
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Megan, I am a baptist-convert to the Catholic faith, and in my best Bill Clinton impersonation, all I can say is, “I feel your pain.”

Okay, that’s not all I can say… My wife is still a southern baptist, and I haven’t made her convert (or our two children). I take heat for being a pagan-Catholic-who-worships-the-Whore-of-Babylon but what can I say? I have to be true to what I know in my heart to be the Truth. I have to often remind my Baptist brethren that they follow Catholic traditions such as worshiping on Sundays in a Church, singing hymnals, having a leader (read: pastor) lead worship service, participating in communion (though they use grape juice and crackers), and reading from a Catholic-canonized book. There is a reason why they don’t preach from the Gospel of Thomas on Sundays – and it’s not because the First Baptist Church of Antioch neglected to include that book in their canon.

As a practical matter, try going to Mass on Saturdays and then church with your husband on Sundays (or vice versa). I often do that, or I will drop off my family at their Baptist compound and then drive down the block to attend Mass. Quite frankly it was a struggle at first. But once my wife realized (accepted would be too strong a word) that I wasn’t going to convert back to the Baptist faith we managed just fine.

Best of luck to you and yours - I’ll be praying for you.
 
haha! Thanks. I didn’t think about going to Mass saturdays and Church with him on Sundays. That would be a great way to stay true to myself and my faith and give him what he needs at the same time! I’m sure there can be nothing wrong with going to another church right? That is, unless they preach something that doesn’t agree with the Church’s teaching… What about Sola Scriptura. Most protestant churches believe it, but I only remember hearing it preached a few times. Is it sinful for me to listen to/ go to a church that preaches that?
 
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