Beach Wedding?

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Deacon Ed:
You can disagree with me all you want… According to canon law marriage *must *be celebrated in the parish church, another church or oratory (Canon 1118). This canon also allows for the possibility of “another suitable place” – and in the United States this is not a beach, it refers to the meeting place (church) of another faith community. To use another “suitable place” requires permission from the local Ordinary (bishop).

Deacon Ed
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I’ll still have to disagree… Granted, while the chances of having a Catholic wedding at a beach are extremely small, there is still that chance…
It’s possible, but highly not probable.

I’d give it a 2% chance of happening, with a ±1 Chance of poll error 😛
And if one were to have a civil ceremony, wouldn’t they assume it was OK to celebrate in the honeymoon suite that night
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That’s why you have the Wedding in the Church THEN the civil union on the beach 😛
 
Of course, having two separate marriage ceremonies to skirt the requirements of the Church is also prohibited by canon 1127 §3 “It is forbidden to have, either before or after the canonical celebration in accordance with §1, another religious celebration of the same marriage for the purpose of giving or renewing matrimonial consent. Likewise, there is not to be a religious celebration in which the catholic assistant and a non-catholic minieter, each performing his own rite, ask for the consent of the parties.” This has been interpreted to include civil ceremonies if the specific reason is to bypass canonical form.

Thus, Deacon Tony’s suggestion was made tongue-in-cheek.

Deacon Ed
 
The Catholic Church require a civil marriage license, or can you just have a religious ceromony?
 
If I understand your question correctly, you do still need to go to the county office and pay your fee and get a license so that the government can get their money. But just getting a license doesn’t mean you are married: You’d still need a judge (or other authorized person) and witnesses even if it was non-religious ceremony. But this is a government requirement, not a church one.
 
Deacon Ed:
Of course, having two separate marriage ceremonies to skirt the requirements of the Church is also prohibited by canon 1127 §3 “It is forbidden to have, either before or after the canonical celebration in accordance with §1, another religious celebration of the same marriage for the purpose of giving or renewing matrimonial consent. Likewise, there is not to be a religious celebration in which the catholic assistant and a non-catholic minieter, each performing his own rite, ask for the consent of the parties.” This has been interpreted to include civil ceremonies if the specific reason is to bypass canonical form.

Thus, Deacon Tony’s suggestion was made tongue-in-cheek.

Deacon Ed
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Though I was just joking, you’ve confused me… How can converts who were married in their original faith validate their marriage by Church standings if other marriages are Forbidden…

Why have that then for civil unions if the Church does not recognizes them as marriages… It makes it seem they are recognized…
 
Deacon Tony560:
I was making a joke, but things like this have been done. A civil ceremony in park, beach, Etc. followed by Church Wedding.
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That’s kind of what my wife and I did.

She is Canadian, and it was a lot easier to marry her in the States (for visa purposes).

But we wanted to be married in her hometown in Canada so her relatives could easily attend.

So we did a civil ceremony (actually at the zoo) with a JP and 2 friends as witnesses and went out for pizza afterward.

We most certainly did NOT consider us to be really married and we did NOT ‘start our honeymoon’ early. She stayed at our new apartment and I stayed at my parent’s house.

After we got all the INS paperwork sorted out, we had our real Wedding at her parish in Canada.

And all of this we had discussed with the priest who would be marrying us well ahead of time.
 
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CatholicCid:
Though I was just joking, you’ve confused me… How can converts who were married in their original faith validate their marriage by Church standings if other marriages are Forbidden…

Why have that then for civil unions if the Church does not recognizes them as marriages… It makes it seem they are recognized…
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Okay, clarification time…

Catholics are bound to observe canonical form. That is, they must be married before a bishop, priest or deacon in a church. It is possible to get a dispensation from form (but, in the United States, the USCCB has made it clear that the dispensation from location will not be granted (no beaches, back yards, parks, skydiving, deep sea diving, etc.).

Non-Catholics are not bound by canonical form. Any marriage which is seen as valid by the state (assuming it’s a first marriage for both or any prior spouses are deceased) are seen as valid by the Church and no validation is necessary.

Blessing a marriage (convalidation) takes place only when the present marriage took place after a divorce and without an annulment process taking place.

Does that help?

Deacon Ed
 
gnat:
The Catholic Church require a civil marriage license, or can you just have a religious ceromony?
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Yes, a civil marriage license is still required. In fact, we cannot perform a marriage without it.

Deacon Ed
 
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Brendan:
That’s kind of what my wife and I did.

She is Canadian, and it was a lot easier to marry her in the States (for visa purposes).

But we wanted to be married in her hometown in Canada so her relatives could easily attend.

So we did a civil ceremony (actually at the zoo) with a JP and 2 friends as witnesses and went out for pizza afterward.
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Yes, there are circumstances that can require two marriages, and the Church addresses each case individually.

In my case both my wife-to-be and I were in the Air Force serving in Germany. Germany does not recognize a marriage performed by the military. Therefore, we had to have a civil ceremony before we could have our church wedding. Sandy and I went to Switzerland (a whole lot cheaper than Germany) got married, and drove back to the base (she to her barracks and me to mine). Two days later we had our “real” marriage. However, for legal purposes, we use the legally valid marriage as our anniversary date (again, because of some silly legal thing with the U.S. and our marriage license which says “July 1” and not “July 3”

Note that in neither case were we attempting to skirt canonical requirements but were simply going through additional legal hoops.

Deacon Ed
 
gnat:
I’m fighting the “Catholic way” because it is instinct. I’ve know another way for the past 17 years. I would you think you could realize that changing your beliefs if a tough matter. Why would I want to go the easy route? I’ll try and take the route that my Lord gives me as best I can. Whether it’s easy or hard, I’ll take that path.

Then why do you fill the Church with things that Jesus doesn’t specify about? Like certain marriage requirements.
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Changing beliefs to follow the teachings of the Catholic Church is a tough matter because you have to submit to the authority of the Church and its Traditions (that which is not mentioned in the Bible). Some are not up to that. But it seems you are going into the Catholic Church with an argumentative and closed mind. If you have trouble subordianting your desired wedding location to what the Church requires, where will you be on some of the other, more difficult issues? The Catholic Church does not bend easily to suit the whims of the current culture (and this is an understatement!).

You must decided what is more important to you - becoming a true, devout Catholic, or having a trendy beach wedding. And if you will be pushed away from the Catholic Church over the requirement to be wed in a church, then your faith is as unstable and shifting as the sand on that beach you are so fond of.
 
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Katie1723:
Tell that to our boys in Iraq
~ Kathy ~
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I think you missed this part of my post.

“Unless something serious make it neccessary to celebrate them in another place”
 
My Daughter is getting married next year. If ever there were two “beach people” it is them. They are at the beach every weekend and her fiancee is there in between, whenever the waves are good, as he is an avid surfer. However, they both know that marriage is a sacrement and that they are expected to get married in the Catholic Church, which they are. Their wedding reception will be held in a building that was rented right on the beach! That’s my:twocents: .
 
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CARose:
I just recently (this Sunday, as a matter of fact) had to miss my own brothers wedding because he was raised Catholic and his fiance (I can’t call her wife, they’re not married in the church) chose to get married “on the beach”. The had a destination wedding that I would have loved to participate in. I would have thoroughly enjoyed seeing all the family and friends and to have shared in this momentous occation in their lives, yet they put their own preferences over obedience to God.

I’m sad that they have unwittingly put their souls in jeopardy. They may be able to get buy with a degree of ignorance now, but what happens if / when one of them realizes the error of their ways. If the other is resistant, it could create a rift in their marriage trying to fix things.

I’d travel anywhere he wants to witness their marriage in the Church, with a priest or deacon officiating.
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Wow! I thought I was just the worst human being around (my family made me feel that way) for doing the EXACT same thing. I missed my sister’s wedding in Mexico, on the beach, for the same reasons. I’m glad that if I’m nuts, I have at least you for company Rose!
 
I wouldnt worry about the beach wedding thing as long as you have the sacrament and the civil wedding seperate. My friends in belgium had to do this since priests can give civil unions… They went to the judge a day before the wedding in the church to get the civil union, which wasnt such a big deal. Only a handful of people even there to watch, then the big ceremony the next day. I would dare to say that this is a common situation in europe.
 
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cyprian:
…I carried my cross.
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Thank you so much for giving witness to the challenges this can create. I am so happy that you and your wife have managed to have your marriage blessed by the Church. What’s interesting is that so many people, rather than taking your approach, believe that simply avoiding the Eucharist is the correct approach to the predicament you found yourself in. And yet, this merely compounds the problem, as such a couple lives in a constant state of mortal sin, not a great place to be.
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tedster:
Wow! I thought I was just the worst human being around (my family made me feel that way) for doing the EXACT same thing. I missed my sister’s wedding in Mexico, on the beach, for the same reasons. I’m glad that if I’m nuts, I have at least you for company Rose!
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Yup, I know what you mean. I know that when I first announced my intentions, my sister-in-law, who is the only other really practicing Catholic in the family (although she’s definitely the cafeteria variety) was really ticked off at me for my position. I tried to explain to her and finally we sat down and discussed it in some depth. When I broke down crying that I loved my brother too much to see him risk his immortal soul without even being aware of the position he could be putting himself in, I think she realized it wasn’t about my wanting to be judgemental. I also asked her if she’d found me trying to talk anyone else out of attending the wedding, or in any other way seeking to rain on his parade by sowing discord in the family and she had to admit that I hadn’t.

With that, she backed off her position of getting in my face for my taking a stance. We haven’t sat down and had a decent conversation since (we live 10 hrs apart from one another) so I don’t know just what occurred as far as the family being upset at my missing the event. I guess I’ll see soon enough. I’m planning on heading down to So. Cal. some time this summer to see everyone.

Thanks for sharing that I’m not alone on this Tedster. I does help to know we’re not alone, doesn’t it.

This is something that really makes these forums work!

CARose
 
gnat:
Is it possible to have a less-than-traditional Catholic wedding on a beach?
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Have your wedding on the beach if you want. I’m sure you can find a priest that will perform the ceremony (sacrament)

Where two or more are gathered in His name there He is also!

Peace
 
As a Catholic cleric I find many of the posts in this thread quite distressing. Rather than present and uphold Catholic teaching many offer ways to “get around” the safeguards that the Church places around the Sacraments of which She and She alone is the custodian.

How sad.

Deacon Ed
 
I say no to this, and the question from me is why you wouldn’t have it in the House of God?
 
Deacon Ed:
As a Catholic cleric I find many of the posts in this thread quite distressing. Rather than present and uphold Catholic teaching many offer ways to “get around” the safeguards that the Church places around the Sacraments of which She and She alone is the custodian.

How sad.

Deacon Ed
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In what way has adherence to the “safegaurds” that the Church has placed around the sacraments protected anything other than the safegaurds themselves?

The divorce rate among Catholics is virtually identical to that of the country (US) at large. So is the marriage itself the Sacrament or just the event of the wedding?

What is the goal of “the safegaurd”? To make sure that all weddings take place inside a church?

Peace
 
But anyone can call themselves anything they like. There are many who cliam “catholic” but go to church twice a year and pick and choose which doctrines they follow. they are anythign BUT truly Catholic. If you research it, those couples who have an active faith life have an astonishling lower divorce rate. Not just any shlub off the street who says they are catholic. The point of the safeguards to to ensure that people who claim to be Catholic are actually taking it seriously and doing what they should, not just what they “feel” is “right” for them, regardless of what the church teaches.
 
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