Beach Wedding?

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Why does the Church require that Catholics be married in a church? The reasoning is quite simple, really.

First, unlike Protestant theology (me and Jesus), Catholic theology teaches that we are saved in the context of a community of faith – the Communion of Saints (we and Jesus). Paul’s term for “church” in Greek is ekklesia which means “the community called out.” When the community is “called out” they gather in the church. Of course, in early times this meant people’s homes but as the community grew too large for this it meant church buildings.

Second, marriage is not seen as an action between a man and a women in isolation, but as the establishment of a “little church” or, as we call it in the East, the “domestic church.” The relationship between husband and wife is the same as that between Jesus and His bride, the Church. Because of this, and because this establishment of “little church” is a community event (all sacraments are to be celebrated in the context of community) the Church calls on us to be married in the community meeting place – the church building.

Deacon Ed
 
I would summarize my whole feeling on this as, sure you could, in theory, have the wedding outside, and the sacrament would “take”, but why would you want to do that? is the way that hundreds of millions of Catholics have gotten married not good enough, or the time-honored traditions of the Church not meaningful enough for some reason?

everyone wants to personalize their wedding, make it say something “about them”, write their own vows, do it on the beach, in the woods, not the same old boring conventions. But conventions become conventions for a reason, and that’s because they’re generally time-tested and accepted and appreciated by a lot of people. Most of the weddings that I’ve been to that were other than traditional weddings with the usual ceremony in the church, where the bride & groom want to do something “special”, have come across as kind of silly and contrived. But I guess I’m just an old crank.
 
gnat:
I want the “Why” for the whole idea of getting married in a church. . .

The reasons are clear for marrying in a church, but I am seeking reasons behind that reasoning…if that makes sense.
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Marriage is even older than the Catholic Church. Read about the marriages in the Old Testament, read about what Jesus Himself said about marriage. Read about the formation and history of the Catholic Church, the Deposit of Faith, Sacred Tradition, and the Magisterium of the Church. These are not topics that can be contained in one simple post on an Internet forum.

Marriage is not only a Holy Sacrament, as important as that is, it is a COVENANT RELATIONSHIP between a man and a woman. “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” and “For this reason a man shall leave his mother and father and CLEAVE TO HIS WIFE AND THE TWO SHALL BE AS ONE FLESH.”
Something as important and profound as this relationship deserves your attention and respect. It goes to the very foundations of humankind.

Gnat, I like your questions, and your willingness to question and to HEAR the truth from other writers here. I wish you every happiness, and I’m happy you will be starting RCIA classes. Please start them soon, and find a good priest who can be your spiritual adviser in the meantime. Don’t put this off, find one now.

God bless.
 
So far the reasoning here has been muddled.

First, you don’t get married in the presence of the parishioners of the church typically, but family, most of whom do not attend the church building in question.

Secondly, the reasoning that this is how millions of Catholics have done it - doesn’t really make much difference. Millions of Catholics attended Latin only Masses for centuries, so by this reasoning we should atttend Latin Masses also and NOT those conducted in the vernacular. The argument that this is how it has always been done is not a reason; it is an appeal to tradition.

Peace
 
just curious
Question from on 06-07-2005: Can a Catholic Wedding with a mass be celebrated outside? ie: an outdoor weddingIf not when is it acceptable to celebrate mass outdoors?

Thank you, Angela
**Answer by David Gregson on 06-23-2005:** Canon 1118 directs that a Catholic wedding is to be celebrated in a parish church. However, the local ordinary (bishop) can permit it to be celebrated "in another suitable place." Canon 932 directs that "the eucharistic celebration is to be carried out in a sacred place unless in a particular case necessity requires otherwise; in such a case the celebration must be in a decent place." So it's clear that, while exceptions may be made, they should be for serious reasons, as for example during wartime. Marriage, as well as the Eucharist, is a sacrament of the Church. In these days, when marriage has lost much of its meaning in our secularized society, the Church is concerned to preserve the deep significance of a man and woman committing their lives to each other in the sight of God. And a church, with all its holy associations, is the most suitable place to do this.
 
The Catholic Church celebrates marriages in nearly all cases in a church building (exceptions might be made if the church building has not been built yet or some other such serious reason). The church building is built precisely as a place for the sacraments to be celebrated. It is a sacred space designed for sacred events to take place. Jesus raised marriage to the dignity of a sacrament, so in Christ marriage has become sacred. To celebrate a sacrament in a secular setting does not respect the religious nature of a marriage. The building itself represents the whole people of God, who are the Church, who meet there and worship. In marriage, people take on a public role in the Church and have a public status in the Church. Marriage is not a private matter. The fact of this public status is recognized by the fact that the marriage is celebrated in the church building.
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ewtn.com/vexperts/showresult.asp?RecNum=435415&Forums=0&Experts=0&Days=2005&Author=&Keyword=outdoor+wedding&pgnu=1&groupnum=0&record_bookmark=2&ORDER_BY_TXT=ORDER+BY+ReplyDate+DESC&start_at=
 
Fix,

That’s a great link to the EWTN answer on a similar question. I liked the way the answer points out that a marriage is the joining of the couple not only to one another but that God is included and conducting the ceremony in the church, in front of the altar helps to signify the importance of that. Also, the church building signifies the community of worshippers who may not be present for the celebration, but who are spiritually present. A marriage is a communial occation.

Also, as I read the response, it led me to reflect upon the fact that a marriage is the joining of the Husband and Wife into a family church of their own. What better place to lay that foundation that in the house of God, the Church.

Gnat, I trust that as you come to better understand the faith you are exploring you will become more comfortable in the answers that have been given.

As for your concerns, EA_Man, the exact when this tradition began? As far as I know, Christians have been celebrating weddings in the house of God for as long as such facilities have been available. If such a building has been available, to not utilize it for such a sacred act would be rather unusual and exhibit a lack of understanding of the ceremony and the special nature of the Church. Obviously, if a church is not available (as in, none exists in a reasonable distance from the couple), than certainly alternate arrangements are to be accommodated, just as a Mass can be said in an alternate location if and when necessary.

The exact “why” I believe has been sufficiently addressed, although, as you can see, we are not directly providing a scriptural reference. As you certainly know by now, not everything is included in the bible, although certainly nothing that is taught by the Church is contrary to the inerrant word of God found in Scripture.

Hope this helps,

CARose
 
gnat:
That article is just a summary of everything in this thread. I want the “Why” for the whole idea of getting married in a church, as in, who started it, why did they do so, on what authority, with what reason?

The reasons are clear for marrying in a church, but I am seeking reasons behind that reasoning…if that makes sense.

Its not like the church is perfect.
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Here’s a good reason for marrying in a church. When you marry in a church you are in the presence of Our Lords Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. Yes, God is everywhere but not physically. This makes a church the most holiest of places. This is why it is not the same as a beach.

CARose’s brother is Catholic. As such, he is bound to follow the teachings of the Church. When he doesn’t he is sinning and there is no just reason for CARose to support her brother when he is doing harm to his soul. It’s akin to her watching him shoot heroin to be there in support of him. Spiritual sickness is far worse than the ills of the body. This does not mean she is saying that she is better than him. This is her saying that she loves him enough to not stand by and watch him hurt himself.
 
Thanks Bear!

It was really hard for me to not be present at their “wedding” but it looks like he may be recelebrating, this time in front of a priest. If it comes to pass, I told him I’d travel to the ends of the earth to be there for them.

CARose
 
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CARose:
Thanks Bear!

It was really hard for me to not be present at their “wedding” but it looks like he may be recelebrating, this time in front of a priest. If it comes to pass, I told him I’d travel to the ends of the earth to be there for them.

CARose
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I know the feeling. I had to skip my oldest friend’s (friend since we were 7) wedding. It was incredibly hard but she actually understood. I could tell that she really wanted an “approved” wedding but her husband to be wasn’t interested. Her siblings were mad at me and her poor parents wandererd around all day (according to another friend) saying that they wished she was married in a church. We are still very close and that’ll never change. A year after the wedding she called thinking that her “marriage” was ending. Now that they have a child, I’m praying extra hard that they will get the “marriage” blessed and gain the graces to get through what we all usually go through. Don’t know how people do it without the graces from the sacrament!
 
Bear,

I think you did a brave and wonderful thing in not attending your best friends wedding, and apparently you communicated your reasons to her in a charitable manner or she wouldn’t have been so understanding. I think my brother accepts that I wasn’t doing this to reject him, I’ve certainly told him enough times. Other members of the family didn’t get it and I apparently missed a great time with family and friends, so it’s been hard, but I really needed be a witness to the truth.

I know what you mean about needing the graces for a marriage to survive. What’s sad is that so many people are completely unaware of the special graces God has made available to us through the sacraments of the Church. These graces conform us to His will, and certainly he desires our greatest happiness.

Hopefully, one person at a time, and then perhaps in greater, more visible ways, these truths can be returned to our culture so that more people can come to know the fullness of what Christ has given us.

God Bless,

CARose
 
Hey guys,

My brother may be getting married in the Church after all! It looks like his in-laws are planning a big affair in the Philipines and they’ve agreed to participate. If it happens, I’ll be there!

Say a prayer that it happens in accord with God’s will.

Thanks,

CARose
 
If that were the question, then you’d be equally justified in calling your parish priest and asking him to come out and hear your confession on the beach…
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While weddings should be in churches (except for the most extraordinary reasons), I can’t imagine a priest who would refuse the sacrament of confession to someone because of pickiness over place. I’ve been to confession in a conference room in a retreat house, in a clear spot in an auditorium, in a sacristy, in a priest’s office, and, yes, on a long walk in the woods. I’ve never gotten any message in these circumstances other than that the church was rejoicing that I was there.
 
Katie1723 said:
The point I was trying to make, albeit poorly made is to the poster who said …" The big deal is the Canon Law of the Church says that Sacraments are to take place in the church building." I think our “military personnel” would feel differently
Code: 
                       ~ Kathy ~
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Then you should quote completely and not be snippy. What was said:
The big deal is the Canon Law of the Church says that Sacraments are to take place in the church building. Unless something serious make it neccessary to celebrate them in another place like a hosptial. A Catholic follows the law of the Catholic Church because that is important to them. So a beach wedding would most likely be an invalid wedding.
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Note the line:unless something serious makes it neccessary to celebrate them in another place, like a hospital I think being at war qualifies as ‘something serious’.
 
krokal- I hope you go through with the RCIA classes, it sounds like you are very contemplative and the classes will suit you.
On another note, please do consider, church weddings can be beautiful, surrounded by Jesus in the Tabernacle, Stations of the Cross and so many other Holy things, as beautiful if not more so than the outdoors. My best friend (who is not catholic nor is her husband) was married on the beach in Maui, and my entire family went BUT it wasn’t what I expected. First the sand was everywhere, trying to walk in it was just laughable. Second the wind blew her veil everywhere and I (as her Maid of Honor) spent the whole wedding pulling it from her mouth. Third, all of the other guests besides the officiant, bride, groom, best man and myself had to stand off to the side (I can’t remember why, maybe to not be in the video or something odd like that). My husband and kids got so tired of trying to hear they eventually started writing messages in the sand. We kind of turned to everyone at the end to signal it was done. I felt so bad for her dad since he wasn’t sure and had to shout “so is it over or what?” Oh, and there were of course various strangers watching and some dog that hung around too. We all stood the entire time also.
One priests I talked to about it told me it is possible to marry outside of church if you marry someone who is not Christian and they have an officiant present. It was really complicated and to this day I still don’t understand it.
For what it is worth, my best friend is still married; 9 years this past June 25th, and I refuse to give up my hope (and drop hints) of her becoming Catholic and a nice indoor blessing of her marriage.
 
Let the photographer know of any pictures that you do not want him or her to take. Letting your photographer know this before the wedding will give him or her time to plan and schedule a set of pictures so the wedding day photo shoot goes quickly and smoothly.
beach wedding photographer
 
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