Been Single & Catholic

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Lelanie2577

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Hi Everyone, Im new to the forums and exited to be here to be part of a Catholic community.
I been feeling sad been single. Im turning 31 this year and I don’t have potential dating prospects near sight. I have gone to therapy, work on myself, have a good career, ect. I was in a serious relationship that was ended year and 1/2 ago. I felt I was ready to start dating again last summer to find potential marriage partner, I prayed 54 day novena two times, novenas for my future husband. I went on couple of dates, but nothing. I signed up Catholic Match, and started talking to a guy for a couple of months but I ended the relationship when I found out he was an alcoholic, and was looking for girl to take care of him financially. Now Im back to square one. I am keeping God the priority of my life right now, praying the Rosary daily, and talking to God through out my day sharing with Him my feelings, sadness, happy moments, ect.
My biggest desire is to be married and have a family. I love kids, I volunteer working with kids and I enjoy helping them. I do have group of friends, I take care of my self by eating healthy, working out, dressing fashionable, people think Im in my mid-20s. At work, everyone found their partner and are married. Most of them are secular and live happy. Im happy for them, but Im here praying, telling God the desire of my heart. Im only interested in dating practicing Catholic guys. I feel the only way to meet them is online. I live in a part of the country that is very liberal and hard to find good faithful men. Does single people feel like this in the middle of the secular world?
 
Some feel it’s hard to find a good spouse who is a Christian in a secular world. May I suggest: avemariasingles.com/

I hope God blesses you with someone you can love.

Best,
Ed
 
I know how you feel. I’m single myself, and I know it can be difficult being single can be while staying true to our faith in a secular world.

But I’m also a relatively recent Catholic, and before coming home to the church, I know what it’s like to live as a secular, “spiritual but not religious” person. I can tell you that, I have found more peace even in the “struggle” of being Catholic than I ever have in my life before.

I know this is said so often that it’s almost become cliche, but I find the key really is to offer up our suffering to God. Whenever I don’t understand why something is happening in my life, I find myself going back to this simple prayer over and over again: “Lord, thy will be done.”

Don’t just say the words, but really reflect on them and what it means to truly trust in God’s plan for your life, even if you don’t know what that plan is or when it will come to fruition; to trust that God loves us and truly wants what’s best for us.

Never stop trying. Never stop praying. And know that you are not alone. God bless.
 
Lelanie, Don’t worry. You are on the right path. Men your age are just starting to understand that they want to meet a woman who they can take home to meet their mother. The next 10 years are going to be very good for you.

Just relax and enjoy the ride. You usually meet your special somebody when you aren’t looking for them. Either way, it will be in God’s time. Keep the Faith!
 
WJeffrey said:
Lelanie, Don’t worry. You are on the right path. Men your age are just starting to understand that they want to meet a woman who they can take home to meet their mother. The next 10 years are going to be very good for you.

Just relax and enjoy the ride. You usually meet your special somebody when you aren’t looking for them. Either way, it will be in God’s time. Keep the Faith!
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Lelanie is actually a woman, since the opening post says that the OP prayed several 54 days rosary novenas for a future husband. 😉
 
I’ll wager there are at least 100 regular male posters here who say the same thing. Perhaps your paths will cross at some point.
 
Angelic,

I was making the point about men her age having changing priorities in life. I probably should have been more clear with my wording. I realized that she was a woman. I was looking at what she had to say as a man.

I know that the priorities that my friends and I had in our early 30’s were far different than they were in our mid 20’s.

Based on my own personal experience, I think that 29 and up would be a great time to be a woman leading a moral Catholic life. Men appreciate those qualities, and boys still need to grow up.

But yes, I did realize that she was a woman.😊
 
edwest2 said:
Some feel it’s hard to find a good spouse who is a Christian in a secular world. May I suggest: avemariasingles.com/

I hope God blesses you with someone you can love.

I have tried Ave Maria Singles in the past and didn’t work for me. I got messages mostly from men late 40s early 50s.

Best,
Ed
Click to expand...
 
Johnny_Local said:
I know how you feel. I’m single myself, and I know it can be difficult being single can be while staying true to our faith in a secular world.

But I’m also a relatively recent Catholic, and before coming home to the church, I know what it’s like to live as a secular, “spiritual but not religious” person. I can tell you that, I have found more peace even in the “struggle” of being Catholic than I ever have in my life before.

I know this is said so often that it’s almost become cliche, but I find the key really is to offer up our suffering to God. Whenever I don’t understand why something is happening in my life, I find myself going back to this simple prayer over and over again: “Lord, thy will be done.”

Don’t just say the words, but really reflect on them and what it means to truly trust in God’s plan for your life, even if you don’t know what that plan is or when it will come to fruition; to trust that God loves us and truly wants what’s best for us.

Never stop trying. Never stop praying. And know that you are not alone. God bless.
Click to expand...
Thank you Johnny for your encouragement words. I been in the world in the past too, and is a path that just leads to emptiness in the heart. I am stronger in my Catholic faith and I do feel peace and joy. But at the same time, I desire marriage and be a gift of self-giving to my future husband and family. I do cry and tell God how I feel, only he knows why Im waiting. In the meantime, I go out with friends, go to the gym, workout, and spend time with my family and volunteering.
 
WJeffrey said:
Lelanie, Don’t worry. You are on the right path. Men your age are just starting to understand that they want to meet a woman who they can take home to meet their mother. The next 10 years are going to be very good for you.

Just relax and enjoy the ride. You usually meet your special somebody when you aren’t looking for them. Either way, it will be in God’s time. Keep the Faith!
Click to expand...
In 10 years, yikes. I hope is sooner.
 
Lelanie2577 said:
Hi Everyone, Im new to the forums and exited to be here to be part of a Catholic community.
I been feeling sad been single. Im turning 31 this year and I don’t have potential dating prospects near sight. I have gone to therapy, work on myself, have a good career, ect. I was in a serious relationship that was ended year and 1/2 ago. I felt I was ready to start dating again last summer to find potential marriage partner, I prayed 54 day novena two times, novenas for my future husband. I went on couple of dates, but nothing. I signed up Catholic Match, and started talking to a guy for a couple of months but I ended the relationship when I found out he was an alcoholic, and was looking for girl to take care of him financially. Now Im back to square one. I am keeping God the priority of my life right now, praying the Rosary daily, and talking to God through out my day sharing with Him my feelings, sadness, happy moments, ect.
My biggest desire is to be married and have a family. I love kids, I volunteer working with kids and I enjoy helping them. I do have group of friends, I take care of my self by eating healthy, working out, dressing fashionable, people think Im in my mid-20s. At work, everyone found their partner and are married. Most of them are secular and live happy. Im happy for them, but Im here praying, telling God the desire of my heart. Im only interested in dating practicing Catholic guys. I feel the only way to meet them is online. I live in a part of the country that is very liberal and hard to find good faithful men. Does single people feel like this in the middle of the secular world?
Click to expand...
I know exactly how you feel. 31 here and single. The only place I feel I can meet Catholic women are online too. We are at that age where we are kind of caught in the middle when it comes to meeting people similar to us. I rarely see women my age at Mass and when I do, they are with a man and have a kid or two with them. All the ministries at my parish seem to be older folks and I am not a college aged kid so what good is it to go the youth group route and meet girls who are in their early 20’s? Young girls are cute but relationship wise, I need a mature woman as I am not in my 20’s anymore.

I weep for my fellow single Catholics who even struggle with meeting Catholics online on dating sites. I am on Catholicmatch too. Lots of the men are looking for a woman to somehow take care of them instead of them take care of the woman. And lots claim to be practicing Catholics except when it comes to adhering to The Church teaching on pre marital sex. And the women… Lots of great women but getting them to give you a chance is like pulling teeth. I am a convert from protestantism, baptized almost 3 years ago. It was a surprise to learn that Catholic women (practicing ones too) can be just as cold, cruel and all around jerks as non Catholic women. And in some cases Catholic women have treated me even worse than secular women. Why we do this to each other, I do not know.

Then people who are married and have been married for a long time tell us “If you are not happy being single, you will not be happy married” they think we are looking for someone to fix us. That may be true for some people but most the time all we want is love. And what is wrong with that? There is something wired in us that makes us desire the love between a man and a woman. It is a different kind of love than Gods love. Not as great as Gods love, but still a desire wires inside us. Not everyone meets the one they are supposed to be with in their teens or 20s so how would someone who did know what it is like for us? I do not always feel sad that I am still single. There are times I enjoy it quite a bit. But there are times I get sad over it. I recall one of my favorite local priests once saying in a homily that it is in fact possible for joy and sorrow to co-exist within us. And that is kind of what it is like for me. Married folks and priests say “God will put someone in your life.” That does not help… fix me up with someone 😛 Tell me where to meet women and do not say the grocery store. 🤷 And if you cannot help, at least do not presume that I do not have enough faith or am just looking for someone to somehow fix me if you have never known what it is like to have only had one girlfriend in your life at 31 years old.

I know what you are going through and because of this forum I have realized that there are a good number of people who know how I feel. All we can do is not give up and keep trying. I do not believe in “When you stop looking, you will find someone” that is leaving it all the chance and that may or may not work. I believe God wants us to be proactive if we are serious about finding someone special.

Take care and God bless. Lets say a prayer for each other.
 
Lelanie2577 said:
In 10 years, yikes. I hope is sooner.
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I hope it is much sooner too. I guess my point is to try not to settle. Getting married for the sake of being married can be a long and lonely life. I met my late wife when I wasn’t really looking to meet anyone. I know a lot of happily married people who have done the same thing.

I wish I knew an answer that could solve your problem. I don’t. The Catholic Church is not a good place to find single 30 year old people. Most single Catholics who show up for Church are 10 years younger or 40 years older.

Maybe casting a wider net might help. You might check out the social events at other parishes in your area. If the fish isn’t in your parishes small pond, perhaps it is in the larger local sea.
 
Lots of men on CAF looking for women.
I net mt second husband on Catholic Singles
 
I’m a couple of years older than you and in the same boat. I’ve prayed the 54 Day Novena and a few others. I pray for my future husband daily (not just to meet him but for his welfare and character), daily Mass and daily Rosary. I continue to trust in God that He gave me the desire for a husband and children so it will be fulfilled in the right time. It’s not easy, I get discouraged along the way but I’m clinging to hope.

Praying for my future husband daily has helped my discouragement, I’m not just begging to meet him although I still do, but I’m entrusting him to God and asking for his care.
 
Tough one. No easy answers here. I won’t tell you hey everything is going to ok now that your in your thirties - I was told that by a good friend(his intentions were good) but you know what sometimes it just doesn’t happen, for whatever reason. I pray that I may meet a good Catholic women with the goal of marriage but I also pray that if I continue to be single that I don’t get despondent about or grow in self pity but rather I gain a spirit of acceptance and comfort with my singleness. It looks you have a very full life so I would just continue to do what your doing and trust God for the rest…also I find giving thanks to God helps to avoid the self pity thing - I have been blessed in many ways, just not in marriage.
 
My second husband was single until he turned 45.
Don’t panic.
God bless.
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
I know exactly how you feel. 31 here and single. The only place I feel I can meet Catholic women are online too. We are at that age where we are kind of caught in the middle when it comes to meeting people similar to us. I rarely see women my age at Mass and when I do, they are with a man and have a kid or two with them. All the ministries at my parish seem to be older folks and I am not a college aged kid so what good is it to go the youth group route and meet girls who are in their early 20’s? Young girls are cute but relationship wise, I need a mature woman as I am not in my 20’s anymore.

I weep for my fellow single Catholics who even struggle with meeting Catholics online on dating sites. I am on Catholicmatch too. Lots of the men are looking for a woman to somehow take care of them instead of them take care of the woman. And lots claim to be practicing Catholics except when it comes to adhering to The Church teaching on pre marital sex. And the women… Lots of great women but getting them to give you a chance is like pulling teeth. I am a convert from protestantism, baptized almost 3 years ago. It was a surprise to learn that Catholic women (practicing ones too) can be just as cold, cruel and all around jerks as non Catholic women. And in some cases Catholic women have treated me even worse than secular women. Why we do this to each other, I do not know.

Then people who are married and have been married for a long time tell us “If you are not happy being single, you will not be happy married” they think we are looking for someone to fix us. That may be true for some people but most the time all we want is love. And what is wrong with that? There is something wired in us that makes us desire the love between a man and a woman. It is a different kind of love than Gods love. Not as great as Gods love, but still a desire wires inside us. Not everyone meets the one they are supposed to be with in their teens or 20s so how would someone who did know what it is like for us? I do not always feel sad that I am still single. There are times I enjoy it quite a bit. But there are times I get sad over it. I recall one of my favorite local priests once saying in a homily that it is in fact possible for joy and sorrow to co-exist within us. And that is kind of what it is like for me. Married folks and priests say “God will put someone in your life.” That does not help… fix me up with someone 😛 Tell me where to meet women and do not say the grocery store. 🤷 And if you cannot help, at least do not presume that I do not have enough faith or am just looking for someone to somehow fix me if you have never known what it is like to have only had one girlfriend in your life at 31 years old.

I know what you are going through and because of this forum I have realized that there are a good number of people who know how I feel. All we can do is not give up and keep trying. I do not believe in “When you stop looking, you will find someone” that is leaving it all the chance and that may or may not work. I believe God wants us to be proactive if we are serious about finding someone special.

Take care and God bless. Lets say a prayer for each other.
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Hello LaughingBoy, Im happy to know Im not alone in this path. The parish I go does not single people my age. I volunteer teaching
Catechism, and many of their parents I went to high school with haha I feel so behind. The parishes with people around
My age are an hour away from my home and their events are in weekdays. I have been applying jobs closer so I can move
And be able to attend the meetings. I was in catholic match.com and the guy I was talking too was looking for a girl to take care of him.
Plus he was not a practicing Catholic and lied to me. Im a practicing Catholic and Im very sweet, kind, loving person.
God did put the desire in our hearts to love and be loved. His Word says is not good for man to be alone and he created Eve.
I do sometimes enjoy been single, I am able to focus all my attention in developing my spiritual life, take care of myself going to the gym eating healthy, develop and learn new skills, travel, Im alone in my room and I feel peace and ok because I have God’s love and friendship. But at the same time I am a very deep person, and I missed having conversations about meaning of life, God, life. I do pray for my future husband everyday, maybe
He is having a hard time ending a relationship that is not meant for him, maybe he is still healing from a stormy past, or he is just converting to the Catholic Church. I have no idea, but I have a hard time been patient haha but I know my prayers will help him.
I have heard that when you least look you’ll find your future spouse. But from my experience, I need to take action to meet people. Nobody came while I was just sitting in my couch and eating chocolate. I have met guys, but most are secular and Im not interested in them because they don’t share the same faith. Take care and God bless you, I’ll pray for you as well!
 
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Lelanie2577:
In reply to post 7:

I’m sorry to hear that. Have hope. God makes a way for us.

Best,
Ed
 
Dont lose hope. I will pray for you too!

But I would also beg you to not settle for something other than what the will of The Father is. From reading your posts I get the impression that you wouldn’t do that. But as the child of a couple that did do that, I can testify to you the fact that you would be setting yourself up for a lot of suffering.

My mother was in her mid thirties and wanted children very badly. She married a man that she knew would be a good father, and he is. However, they have had a very difficult relationship. Even from my earliest years I have never known them to enjoy each other’s company. (I don’t think my mom was that serious about her faith before she met my dad though.)

So yea, Im really glad that you have your head straight on what is most important in a man: his values. Patience is the hardest thing to do in these types of situations, but I think it might be the most important thing.

Prayers!
 
Hmmm…Lelanie and LaughingBoy are both looking for someone, and they both live in California…😉
 
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