Before Mass Silence

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I apologize that I didn’t make myself clear.

What I was trying to say in my post, but apparently failed to make clear is that we generally have little or no control over the extraneous noise in church. We can “shush” people gently or with more force ,but chances are good that within a few minutes, those people will probably start chatting again, or perhaps different people will start chatting. Or the musicians will have a run-through or young children will start fussing.

You can wish with all your heart that someone or something would stop all this noise! Over the years here on CAF, people have suggested all kinds of noise-stopping ideas–shushing people, notices in the bulletin, signs outside of the nave reminding people to keep silent in the nave, a digital display in the nave running constantly that says, “Thank you for keeping silent. Thank you for…”, the priest making an announcement reminding people to be silent (which he would have to do at every Mass every week), better teaching in the parish school, reminders in email and regular mail about etiquette in the nave, the ushers tapping people on the shoulder and putting their finger to their lips to request silence, attending the EF of Mass instead of the OF, etc.

I know this it hard to hear and accept, but none of these work. Nothing works.

What I’m trying to suggest is to stop stressing over something that you or anyone else can’t stop, and instead, try to make the best of it by using it as an opportunity to try to learn to pray and praise in any situation, and this will help you not only in the nave before and after Mass, but also out in the very noisy world.

What’s the alternative? Stewing in the pew, working yourself up, being frustrated, not praying because you can’t concentrate on God, resenting people who aren’t quiet…this is a frustrating way to live.

There’s a very old saying “For every evil under the sun, there is a remedy, or there is none. If there is a remedy, try to find it. If there is not, never mind it.”

I hope something in this post is helpful to you as you are attending Mass. 🙂
 
maybe I will video it on my phone -

Great idea! I wish I’d thought of it.
 
I used to go to the 6:30 am Mass at the RC church near me because it was so peaceful.

Years ago, in the last millennium, two elderly ladies were yakking away in church after 6:30 am Mass. I tried to ignore them. Finally, I got so angry that I told them off in church. I said that they were raised better than that and should set an example for others. They looked shocked and I left. Since then, I have not attended the 6:30 am Mass.
 
Years ago, in the last millennium, two elderly ladies were yakking away in church after 6:30 am Mass. I tried to ignore them. Finally, I got so angry that I told them off in church. I said that they were raised better than that and should set an example for others. They looked shocked and I left. Since then, I have not attended the 6:30 am Mass.
Don’t you think that’s more a reflection on you than it is on them?
 
I understand what you’re saying and yes, you’re right.

This is from the bulletin of the Orthodox church near me:

Church Etiquette — Talking during Church

Isn’t it great to come to church and see friends and family members? But wait
until coffee hour to say “hi.” It just isn’t appropriate to greet people and have a
conversation with them during the services. Besides being disrespectful toward
God, it is rude toward the other people in the church who are trying to worship.
The narthex is also part of the church and should have a prayerful atmosphere.
Unfortunately, parents with young children who bring them to the narthex to quiet
down are sometimes surrounded by chatter from adults who should know better.
Talk to God while in church through your prayers, hymns, and thanksgiving, and
to your friends in the Great Room afterwards.

The narthex is the vestibule in RC churches.
 
It is a mortification, yes?
A
Despite claims to the contrary, I have never seen similar behaviours in the Traditional Latin Mass. Children stepping over my legs occasionally while I’m kneeling, that’s about it. They’re very careful and quiet about it (well-trained!) and–they’re children.
I look forward to the time, hopefully soon, when I can make the trip to the TLM every Sunday.

I know what you mean, being resigned to the lack of sacred silence–in some OF parishes anyway. I try to remind myself to have lowered expectations. shrug
 
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Oops! Sorry - I should have looked better at your avatar. Are you EC or EO?
 
The narthex is the vestibule in RC churches.
Not all churches have a narthex, or much of one. Not all have a “coffee hour.” Such considerations are not easily transplanted from place to place, which is why universal specifics cannot be given. Each parish has its own flavor and its own challenges.
 
Great! My mom is Byzantine Catholic and my late father was Ukrainian Greek Catholic, so I’m Ukrainian Greek Catholic. Which Eparchy are you in? I’m in the Archeparchy of Philadelphia.
 
I’m torn on this issue.

On the one hand when I hear people talking and laughing and carrying on I think they must not realize they are at the foot of Christ on the cross.

On the other hand I struggle with thinking I am being selfish for resenting their noise. it’s not all about me and what I want and what serves me best. You know?

Maybe they need these conversations. Maybe Christ delights in watching His children connect and love and reach out to each other.

It’s a lot of noise and it often feels irreverent.

I sometimes think of the angels who I know must be present and I wonder what they take from it. Are they shaking their heads in despair or are they smiling softly as they watch the love being displayed?

The only noise I’ve witnessed before Mass that I felt was truly disordered was when I took my Catholic cousin to Mass and before Mass began she leaned over and began gossiping :“that person did this and that person did that…” And she did it so loudly I was quite sure the people she was gossiping about could hear.

I shushed her and was able to make her stop but that moment truly felt like sin, doubly so as it was at the foot of the cross.

But general conversations, people asking about health, sharing their lives, etc. … is less obviously sinful.
 
I don’t believe it - what comes around goes around -
An older devout guy - now says hi to me - as he visits each station of the cross -
I smile and say hello -
he looks at me - then comes over - sits down beside me -
and chats all things religious - a real talker of facts - like a politician -
He’s like a machine gun - doesn’t let up - but it’s interesting -
if I say something - in response - one or two quick words - to start off a sentence -
he immediately frowns upon that - and talks over me casually -
and he’s hard of hearing -
three times now - right up till rosary time - lol
sigh
 
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Last time at mass - older guy walked over and started chatting - Catholic oriented things -
Well, a old lady gave him a dirty look - and surprisingly he said,
“ everyone is talking - why can’t I - oh well “ -
He gave me a nice smile, said “ keep on doing what your doing “
And with that, he continued doing the stations of the cross.
They week before that, I hinted that I didn’t want to chat…he respected that…
Because a super old priest was in the front row - praying -

Well - the older men were chatting away like you know what - 6 rows behind me -
Not even whispering - one guy killed 4 chipmunks not one hour ago -
Really - oh chipmunks their fast - etc -
Another says “I have rabbits - they eat my tomatoes”
On and on and on -
And the older lady who gave the dirty look started talking away - with another lady -
Everyone - yap yap right up to the rosary starting moment -
 
I too go to mass early to pray. Honestly I am as guilty as anyone for talking before mass. After all I don’t speak to any other Catholics outside so its nice to be open.
 
Had this happen DURING THE CONSECRATION this Sunday. These elderly ladies in front of me just turned in their seats and started gossiping.

To say I was shocked is an understatement but they’re my elders so I felt it wasn’t my place or right to correct them.
 
D’ya know… while I was praying at Mass this morning I overheard somebody, speaking quite audibly close by, telling somebody else, in a mocking tone, that they’d been shushed for speaking at Mass. Clearly that message wasn’t received as it was meant to be.
 
The worst part is it was so quiet that their voices carried but they didn’t seem to notice or care. Just crazy.
 
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