Being a groomsman for a ex-Catholic

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pecatholic said:
So, if I was just going to attend the ceremony and be an observer, then that would be ok to do?
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Yes, so long as you do not actually actively participate in the ceremony and avoid their version of “holy communion”:tiphat:
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
Technically that is correct. Many “Ex-Catholics” are actually simply non-practicing Catholics. To some extent it does not matter if they are officially Ex-Catholics or Non-Practicing Catholics, they are both steaming towards large icebergs, and some one should warn them. If they heed the warnings is up to them.
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So that means that until the letter is written and the response from the Bishop is in the mail the defecting person is still Catholic?
Please forgive me for interjecting here, I am just wondering.
That is quite interesting… I heard about this and wrote my letter nearly a month ago, no response yet. That would classify me as much as a Catholic as said person in the wedding? (Just curious.)

In Him,
Janet
 
Janet1983 said:
So that means that until the letter is written and the response from the Bishop is in the mail the defecting person is still Catholic?
Please forgive me for interjecting here, I am just wondering.
That is quite interesting… I heard about this and wrote my letter nearly a month ago, no response yet. That would classify me as much as a Catholic as said person in the wedding? (Just curious.)

In Him,
Janet
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That would be correct. Have you checked with your pastor lately? IT’s possible your Bishop has contacted him, but with the holidays he has been busy.
 
Janet1983 said:
So that means that until the letter is written and the response from the Bishop is in the mail the defecting person is still Catholic?
Please forgive me for interjecting here, I am just wondering.
That is quite interesting… I heard about this and wrote my letter nearly a month ago, no response yet. That would classify me as much as a Catholic as said person in the wedding? (Just curious.)

In Him,
Janet
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The Canon Law on this changed. There is no more such thing as Formal Defection - or will not be once the MP goes into effect.

Read more about it here:

jimmyakin.org/2009/12/once-a-catholic-.html
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
That would be correct. Have you checked with your pastor lately? IT’s possible your Bishop has contacted him, but with the holidays he has been busy.
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I actually don’t know the Pastor here. I moved here in May and became inactive way before that. There might be a problem because I was baptized in a different country (Germany that is).
 
that_name said:
The Canon Law on this changed. There is no more such thing as Formal Defection - or will not be once the MP goes into effect.

Read more about it here:

jimmyakin.org/2009/12/once-a-catholic-.html
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As far as I know I can still defect. The problems attached to this MP (which will not be valid until Feb 15) are only concerning a marriage.
If someone defects before that and gets married, how could a valid marriage be made invalid by the MP?
As far as I am concerned it does not apply to me as I wish to defect for other reasons… I wonder how that would impact the OP however…

In Him,
Janet
 
Here’s what my parish priest told my friend who married a Methodist (and this was 20+ years ago). You can participate in both the Catholic mass AND the Methodist mass, meaning he would be able to take communion at the Methodist mass. Reason being is this - Catholic’s believe the host is the actual body of Christ and the wine is his blood. I don’t think any other religion believes that. Us Catholics can participate in any function of a non-Catholic mass as long as WE DO NOT TAKE COMMUNION or read scripture.

So, in a nutshell, you would be able to paricipate in the weddding as long as you are not asked to do a reading or take Communion.
 
Interesting…

We had Catholics and non-Catholics read at our wedding. I didn’t know this was an issue! 🤷

Then again, I also had Catholics, non-Catholics, atheists and agnostics in the wedding party… :eek:
 
Sorry I don’t see so much difference between helping seat people on the correct side of the church and being an observer as being something that does any damage. I think I need both hands to count the rules broken at my own wedding. Catholic bride married to a Lutheran in a Lutheran Church with no dispensation of place or form.

Best man — Atheist, agnostic on his best days
Groomsman 1 — Catholic (Now non-denominational some 20 years later)
Groomsmen 2 — Catholic (became Lutheran after divorcing his first wife and marrying the daughter of a Lutheran minister)
Groomsman 3 — Episcopalian (Recently became Catholic — after his wife threatened him with divorce after 12 years of marriage — unless he converted)
Matron of Honor — Catholic, divorced/annulled and remarried
Bridesmaid 1 — Catholic and also the sponsor/godmother of our son
Bridesmaid 2 — Catholic
Bridesmaid 3 — Catholic
Pastor — Lutheran, former Catholic priest who left to marry the…
Organist — former nun married to the pastor
Usher 1 — Catholic
Usher 2 — Catholic
Guest book attendant — Presbyterian, now Catholic

Someone else can count the violations, it’s probably in double digits.:eek:
 
Coming to a Catholic board to brag about how many times you broke the laws of the Church during your wedding does not seem to be a very Christian thing to do.

Out of respect for your hosts, who let you post here free of charge, you could at least pretend to respect our Faith.
 
that_name said:
Coming to a Catholic board to brag about how many times you broke the laws of the Church during your wedding does not seem to be a very Christian thing to do.

Out of respect for your hosts, who let you post here free of charge, you could at least pretend to respect our Faith.
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I never said I was proud of any of it, nor did I say I was ashamed. I was trying to point out that simply inviting your best friends to be a part of your nuptials, and other seemingly small issue can lead to all sorts of complications —*complications that can be overcome (20 years of marriage — and if I didn’t respect her faith I would have never married her.) If I didn’t respect the Catholic faith, 90-plus percent of my friends today wouldn’t be Catholic, If I had no respect for the Catholic faith, I wouldn’t donate hours of my time to the local Catholic Church, and if I had no respect for the Catholic Faith I surely wouldn’t attend mass on a regular basis, teach in Catholic schools, help coach CYO teams, or assist with fund raisers.
 
PassingThru said:
Interesting…

We had Catholics and non-Catholics read at our wedding. I didn’t know this was an issue! 🤷

Then again, I also had Catholics, non-Catholics, atheists and agnostics in the wedding party… :eek:
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The problem of this thread is not of catholics attending or standing up for a protestant wedding. It is a catholic supporting a “catholic” disobeying the church teachings. That’s a big moral problem. We as Catholics should be doing what we can to help our friends follow the church teaching on faith and morals not abandon it. For some of those people there was a grave situation and certainly for your wife. But you know this already.
 
Seatuck said:
The problem of this thread is not of catholics attending or standing up for a protestant wedding. It is a catholic supporting a “catholic” disobeying the church teachings. That’s a big moral problem. We as Catholics should be doing what we can to help our friends follow the church teaching on faith and morals not abandon it. For some of those people there was a grave situation and certainly for your wife. But you know this already.
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Hmmmm, I guess this is true, as is relates to the OP. In my mind, after 10 years it seems like he has already made up his mind (at this point I wouldn’t consider him Catholic?), but I can see others may see that differently.

What is this “grave situation” my wife is in? This I don’t understand. Just because we have a potpourri of backgrounds standing and reading at our wedding? 🤷
 
Janet1983 said:
I actually don’t know the Pastor here. I moved here in May and became inactive way before that. There might be a problem because I was baptized in a different country (Germany that is).
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Your proper pastor is the pastor of the parish church nearest to where you live. He is your pastor and you should be speaking with him about the matter.
 
So what were the “rules” for leaving the Church before? My bil left the Church, along w/ his whole family, back in the late 70s/early 80s when his parents divorced and his mom remarried w/out an annulment. She later received an anullment and returned to the Church, but none of her kids (all basically grown by then) returned. He and my SIL were married in a S. Baptist church (where she was raised), in 1985, and now attend a Vinyard Christian Fellowship church. I’m wondering if their marriage is valid (or any of his siblings for that matter, one who’s a Vinyard pastor and another who’s married to a protestant-of-some-sort pastor)? All were married in the mid to late 80s.

In Christ,

Ellen
 
ALLGIRLS said:
So what were the “rules” for leaving the Church before? My bil left the Church, along w/ his whole family, back in the late 70s/early 80s when his parents divorced and his mom remarried w/out an annulment. She later received an anullment and returned to the Church, but none of her kids (all basically grown by then) returned. He and my SIL were married in a S. Baptist church (where she was raised), in 1985, and now attend a Vinyard Christian Fellowship church. I’m wondering if their marriage is valid (or any of his siblings for that matter, one who’s a Vinyard pastor and another who’s married to a protestant-of-some-sort pastor)? All were married in the mid to late 80s.

In Christ,

Ellen
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This document would explain the clarification issued in 2006 which will soon be superceeded.

vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/intrptxt/documents/rc_pc_intrptxt_doc_20060313_actus-formalis_en.html

Any person Baptized Catholic unless they formally left the Church would have still been bound to Marry according to Catholic Law. No one can say absolutely but most likely none of them would be considered validly Married and if they were to return to the Catholic Church would need to have the Marriages convalidated.
 
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