Hullo all. I'm a teenager and I have a boy that I really like. We pray the rosary together and go to mass together, and are both making a sincere effort to be people of God. My mom leaves me alone in my house until 10pm on Mondays (she has school) and today the boy came over to pick something up and help me with chores, and then to sit on the floor (he laid down on the floor, I sat a little ways away) Plus I feel a lot safer not being alone until 10. My question is how much alone time is wrong with the opposite sex? I don't foresee having trouble with unchastity, but I was wondering if this could be considered problematic. If we ever move to dating I'll probably be more cautious, but in the initial period of friendship, how much is permissible? Obviously I'm not looking to push boundaries, but can we ride to mass alone together? Can we do chores on Mondays when my mom isn't at home?
Being alone with the opposite sex
- Thread starter grace6877
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I would keep it to a bare minimum. Riding to Mass together is fine. But for normal young people of opposite sexes, being alone indoors with no adult supervision could very easily become an occasion of sin, grave sin and sin that could have dire consequences even from a purely secular point of view.
Get out of the house and do things outdoors, and with groups of other young people who have wholesome intentions and wholesome lifestyles. Again, "behind closed doors" could cause problems you don't expect. Don't borrow trouble.
Get out of the house and do things outdoors, and with groups of other young people who have wholesome intentions and wholesome lifestyles. Again, "behind closed doors" could cause problems you don't expect. Don't borrow trouble.
There are three ways of looking at this.
1. If you are treating the relationship in purity, and you know that you're living in purity, then basically you can continue to do what you're doing and tell anyone who objects to go pound sand (respectfully, of course). But . . .
2. We are called not just to live right, but also to not give anyone an opening to say that we are doing something wrong. If someone can see your friend disappearing into your house for hours at a time, they could start spreading stories, and that is not something that you would want to happen, even if you both are still as pure as the driven snow.
3. The ultimate authority in this situation is your mom. What does she have to say about your being together unsupervised in the house for several hours at a time?
Dxx
1. If you are treating the relationship in purity, and you know that you're living in purity, then basically you can continue to do what you're doing and tell anyone who objects to go pound sand (respectfully, of course). But . . .
2. We are called not just to live right, but also to not give anyone an opening to say that we are doing something wrong. If someone can see your friend disappearing into your house for hours at a time, they could start spreading stories, and that is not something that you would want to happen, even if you both are still as pure as the driven snow.
3. The ultimate authority in this situation is your mom. What does she have to say about your being together unsupervised in the house for several hours at a time?
Dxx
I would also recommend seeking out a good, faithful priest, of one mind with traditional Catholic morality, and ask him what he thinks of the situation.
Again, I'd have to recommend not being alone at home, indoors, with a member of the opposite sex near in age, any more than is absolutely necessary. Go out and do things in town. Go to a movie. Go for a walk. Get together with some friends and have fun in public places. Pretty hard for anything bad to happen that way.
Again, I'd have to recommend not being alone at home, indoors, with a member of the opposite sex near in age, any more than is absolutely necessary. Go out and do things in town. Go to a movie. Go for a walk. Get together with some friends and have fun in public places. Pretty hard for anything bad to happen that way.
Cloisters
Well-known member
Bare minimum time together indoors. Keep window shades open, and keep both front and back doors open. He needs to be seen doing stuff like shaking out brooms, etc, outside. Do some chores outside together, as well.
The New Testament says to avoid all appearances of evil.
Blessings,
Cloisters
The New Testament says to avoid all appearances of evil.
Blessings,
Cloisters