Being catholic sucks- Have faith, but no joy

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Let me get this right ,according to your husband and you, you want a church where…

1.The laity has to know their faith.

2.The diocese can not be dominated by liberals who teach BS in both RCIA & CCD.

3.There can’t be any disregard for the rubrics of the Mass.

4.No politics are spewed from the pulpit.

5.They have some form of fellowship.

6.No bad 70’s music, apathetic parishoners, & liberal/progressive priests.
  1. It’s in the Latin Rite.
  2. Its within 45 minute drive each way from your home.
9.It can’t be any of these Parishes…

Holy Family

St. Benedict’s

Our Lady of Guadalupe

Holy Cross

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

St. Patrick

10.Its in a safe area of town.
  1. There are no tambourines or contemporary rock.
12.There are less rich people.

13.There are no couples who live together.

14.There are no “Cafeteria Catholic’s”.

Did I get it all?

And if you really feel this way…

"I don’t hold to all the teachings anymore, I don’t honestly believe in confession, don’t believe penance is necessary, don’t believe in purgatory, don’t agree with all the teachings on birth control, don’t see the point of fasting/abstinence days when your heart isn’t in it (it’s good as a freely chosen, prayerful devotion)… "

You are no longer in “communion” with the Catholic Church,so receiving Holy Communion could be a Mortal sin.

Also you might not want to say the Nicene Creed…

“And we believe One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.”

Because that would be lying.

Jesus hung out with the prostitutes,the tax collector,lepers and even society’s outcasts . He taught us to love our enemies.He preached about service and humility, the forgiveness of sin, faith, turning the other cheek, love for one’s enemies as well as friends.

He set a good example don’t you think?
 
I don’t think you will find much peace in going to a Baptist Church and then Mass also. You know the truth and then you will be hearing things contrary to Catholic teaching and sometimes you may confuse the two unintentionally.
Why would you say this, have you tried it? My family and I did this successfully for 2 years (before we moved half way around the world). It was the most spiritual and religious time in my adult life. Our family life improved, our spiritual life improved, and our relationship with God improved.

It was interesting that during the Catholic Good Friday service, one of the things we pray for is unity among all Christian churches. I think to accomplish that goal, just as there are many theological things Protestant Churches could learn from Catholics, there are MANY practical and Christian living things Catholics could learn from Protestants (well Baptists at least, I really don’t know about any others).

Maybe God is allowing this dry spell in many Catholic dioceses so that people will reach out, learn how to live in Christian fellowship, and then bring that back to the Church.

My advice to the OP & his wife, is attend Mass weekly to receive the sacraments, but feel free to join in fellowship with other Christians to fill any spiritual void you may have. I would make sure though that it was in a Church that wasn’t anti-Catholic, you don’t need to be defending yourself every minutes. The Baptist church I went to was very pro “Jesus didn’t come to earth to start a religion, he came to start a way of life.” So they were happy to have Catholics, or other denominations participating in their worship services and bible study.

One of the interesting things is that when we attended Mass and the Baptist service, 9 times out of 10, the sermons and themes of the 2 services were related and spoke sincerely to my husband and I. It was like God was talking to us personally, reinforcing His message in both the Catholic and Baptist services.
 
I won’t bother to comment on all of your post which just goes to the OP’s wife comment on how Catholics are just mean and rude. But the quote below is just wrong

Also you might not want to say the Nicene Creed…

“And we believe One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.”

Because that would be lying.

ah… I think you need to study up… the quote is

"And we believe one holy catholic and apostolic Church. "

Please note that the word “catholic” starts with a small letter, not a capital one. In this case, the word means “universal” that is, one Christian body of Christ. Exactly the opposite of what you are stating.

According to Wikipedia:The Nicene Creed is an ecumenical Christian statement of faith accepted in the Catholic Church, the Eastern Orthodox Church, Oriental Orthodoxy, the Assyrian, the Anglican Communion, Lutheranism, the Reformed churches, Methodism, and many other forms of Protestantism.

The Baptist church I attended dedicated an entire service once per year to understanding this universally accepted prayer. Although, it was the nuns at my Catholic elementary school that taught me the difference between a theoretical universal “catholic church” and the Holy Roman “Catholic Church”.
 
First of all, I’m very sorry for you in your suffering. 😦 I know a little of what you’re talking about.

I don’t know if anyone has said this already (I didn’t thoroughly read every single post) but have you considered how Jesus must feel at these Masses you attend? He is there also, in the Eucharist, and he sees everything you see, and more. Can you maybe look at it as being with Him in His agony in the garden? Or being with Him as he wept over Jerusalem? And yet, he does not abandon His people. He continues to be present Eucharistically in these painful Masses as well as in the most reverent ones.

This is not to say that you should not pray and seek for a better “community” fit, but that in the mean time, the both of you are more certainly NOT alone in your struggles. You are with Jesus, with all the communion of Saints, with all the Church Militant here on Earth, with the Church Suffering in purgatory (which is a reality, even though you cannot see this yet 😉 )

Our precious Lord will not let you down. But you have to remember, His goal for all of us is heavenly happiness, not earthly comfort. 🙂

Also, not that you haven’t thought of this already, but it might be neat to look into the lives of some of the Saints who suffered a similar rejection and an even harsher one, as you.
 
Maybe God is allowing this dry spell in many Catholic dioceses so that people will reach out, learn how to live in Christian fellowship, and then bring that back to the Church.

One of the interesting things is that when we attended Mass and the Baptist service, 9 times out of 10, the sermons and themes of the 2 services were related and spoke sincerely to my husband and I. It was like God was talking to us personally, reinforcing His message in both the Catholic and Baptist services.
Sounds like a really neat experience! 👍

I need advice. The youth group lady e-mailed me back today. A WEEK after I e-mailed her.

And I quote:

"Kathryn,

Would yo be able to call the youth tomorrow and remind them of the meeting on Thursday and bring food to share? If you can let me know. Here is the list just in case."

List of phone numbers. Then her name…not even a “Thanks”.

There is no “Are you healing up okay?”, no “Sorry you got hurt”…

Does this seem kinda out of line? 🤷 Honestly I was surprised to get any e-mail at all… 😦
 
Sounds like a really neat experience! 👍

I need advice. The youth group lady e-mailed me back today. A WEEK after I e-mailed her.

And I quote:

"Kathryn,

Would yo be able to call the youth tomorrow and remind them of the meeting on Thursday and bring food to share? If you can let me know. Here is the list just in case."

List of phone numbers. Then her name…not even a “Thanks”.

There is no “Are you healing up okay?”, no “Sorry you got hurt”…

Does this seem kinda out of line? 🤷 Honestly I was surprised to get any e-mail at all… 😦
remember, not everyone has “learn’t good manners” - offer it up 🙂
 
Let me get this right ,according to your husband and you, you want a church where…

1.The laity has to know their faith.

2.The diocese can not be dominated by liberals who teach BS in both RCIA & CCD.

3.There can’t be any disregard for the rubrics of the Mass.

4.No politics are spewed from the pulpit.

5.They have some form of fellowship.

6.No bad 70’s music, apathetic parishoners, & liberal/progressive priests.
  1. It’s in the Latin Rite.
  2. Its within 45 minute drive each way from your home.
9.It can’t be any of these Parishes…

Holy Family

St. Benedict’s

Our Lady of Guadalupe

Holy Cross

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

St. Patrick

10.Its in a safe area of town.
  1. There are no tambourines or contemporary rock.
12.There are less rich people.

13.There are no couples who live together.

14.There are no “Cafeteria Catholic’s”.

Did I get it all?

And if you really feel this way…

"I don’t hold to all the teachings anymore, I don’t honestly believe in confession, don’t believe penance is necessary, don’t believe in purgatory, don’t agree with all the teachings on birth control, don’t see the point of fasting/abstinence days when your heart isn’t in it (it’s good as a freely chosen, prayerful devotion)… "

You are no longer in “communion” with the Catholic Church,so receiving Holy Communion could be a Mortal sin.

Also you might not want to say the Nicene Creed…

“And we believe One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.”

Because that would be lying.

Jesus hung out with the prostitutes,the tax collector,lepers and even society’s outcasts . He taught us to love our enemies.He preached about service and humility, the forgiveness of sin, faith, turning the other cheek, love for one’s enemies as well as friends.

He set a good example don’t you think?
As I started to read this post I thought it was going to be constructive. Boy was I wrong!

My protestant family says the Nicene Creed.

And yes, though Jesus hung out with a lot of sinners, he didn’t invite them to the last supper to eat his body and blood.

As I said earlier…I DO believe the teachings of the Church…that doesn’t mean I have to LIKE all of them. I DO follow all of them.

Let me address a few of your “points”. One through eleven are quite good!

As for the following:

12.There are less rich people. - Not sure exactly how you came to this one? I’m assuming it’s because I listed the descriptor “rich” in with one of the parishes. That was a descriptor for the parish, not for the problems with it.

13.There are no couples who live together. - Had you added the phrase “and don’t go to confession and still take communion every week”, yes, that would be an accurate statement.

14.There are no “Cafeteria Catholic’s”. - I would think this would be a hope and prayer of all orthodox Catholics? That everyone knows and lives their faith?
 
I’ve been thinking on this.

There are these hurts that your peers are inflicting on you that you can respond in two ways; be hurt and keep it inside, or e-mail this lady back and let her know as kindly as you can that you felt really hurt that no one showed any concern for your injury. I think you might be really suprised at her reaction. She probably never realized her own actions had an effect on you.

Pray about it before hand and e-mail her back when you aren’t angry. It might open up a line of communication that you never had before.

As for this unorthodox parish…well I say infiltrate! RCIAer’s are probably feeling lost and out of sorts when entering the church. Befriend them, start out small with those that seem amiable to orthodox teachings and have your own faith sharing group or get togethers at your house or at the park. Every year there will be more and more RCIAer’s and even if you only find one person a year to add to your unofficial orthodox fellowship, just imagine how things can turn out???
Of course, don’t try to be cliquesh or exclude people, but instead build a circle of friendship that is comfortable and supporting. Then maybe sooner or later you guys can come up with a ministry that you can offer the parish. Something like a new parishioners welcome wagon. :cool: :cool:
The priest, deacon, etc. can’t stop you from being orthodox and hanging out with orthodox Catholics and can definitly not stop you from adoring our Lord! 😃
 
I am more than sure that you are not alone in this situation.

Sending my prayers out to you! :gopray2:
 
What part of Cincinnati did this take place? I am newby still trying to figure out where I should go for fellowship!?
I I am a cradle Catholic that fell away out of apathy, then when trying to come back, found a large local parish that is very difficult to get involved in. They had their cliques and it was very difficult to break through. As for the church, it was one of the modern church buildings, very drab inside, the pews set up in an odd design, no statues or pictures, no stained glass, no kneelers and worst of all, the Tabernacle was hidden!!! Many of the parisoners were from the more upper class parts of town. When I went, I couldn’t help getting the feeling that I was unworthy to be a fellow parishoner. I chalked it all up to me being the problem and allowed those feelings to keep me from going…my faith WAS very weak at the time.

Fortunately, thanks to my girlfriend, I found a parish that felt like home from the minute I walked in. Most of the people were very friendly and welcoming. I have volunteered for numerous functions and found that they were all very encouraging. This parish seems like a family to me. I have also found that there are a number of other parishoners who had a very similar story to mine, especially in regards to the other parish. I can honestly say that in my parish, Christ is the center of most everything we do. I have found my faith growing so much since I’ve been a member.

One idea, look on the web for local home schooling groups. There are a number of Catholic home schooling coops in the country and many choose to do this so they can ensure that their children get a good and proper Catholic education where the faith is the primary focus. I understand that you don’t have children yourself, but it could put you in touch with likeminded people and potentially lead you to a parish that makes you feel at home.

Don’t let your experiences defeat you. Keep your eyes on Christ and keep attending and searching in spite of the troubles. In the end, it will all be worth it.
 
I won’t bother to comment on all of your post which just goes to the OP’s wife comment on how Catholics are just mean and rude. But the quote below is just wrong

ah… I think you need to study up… the quote is

"And we believe one holy catholic and apostolic Church. "

Please note that the word “catholic” starts with a small letter, not a capital one. In this case, the word means “universal” that is, one Christian body of Christ. Exactly the opposite of what you are stating.

According to Wikipedia:The Nicene Creed is an ecumenical Christian statement of faith accepted in the Catholic Church, the Eastern Orthodox Church, Oriental Orthodoxy, the Assyrian, the Anglican Communion, Lutheranism, the Reformed churches, Methodism, and many other forms of Protestantism.

The Baptist church I attended dedicated an entire service once per year to understanding this universally accepted prayer. Although, it was the nuns at my Catholic elementary school that taught me the difference between a theoretical universal “catholic church” and the Holy Roman “Catholic Church”.
I meant what I wrote. I was not talking about the little “c” I was talking about the big “c”. that is how I say it, I was just letting anyone know that if you don’t hold to the teachings of the Catholic Church then you should not profess that you do in the house of God.

It is a **Catholic Creed **written by and for Catholics.

The Protestant denominations are only 490 years old.

The Four Marks of the True Church of Christ

The Church Is One
(Rom. 12:5, 1 Cor. 10:17, 12:13, CCC 813–822)
Jesus established only one Church, not a collection of differing churches (Lutheran, Baptist, Anglican, and so on). The Bible says the Church is the bride of Christ (Eph. 5:23–32). Jesus can have but one spouse, and his spouse is the Catholic Church.

His Church also teaches just one set of doctrines, which must be the same as those taught by the apostles (Jude 3). This is the unity of belief to which Scripture calls us (Phil. 1:27, 2:2).

Although some Catholics dissent from officially-taught doctrines, the Church’s official teachers—the pope and the bishops united with him—have never changed any doctrine. Over the centuries, as doctrines are examined more fully, the Church comes to understand them more deeply (John 16:12–13), but it never understands them to mean the opposite of what they once meant.

The Church Is Holy (Eph. 5:25–27, Rev. 19:7–8, CCC 823–829)
By his grace Jesus makes the Church holy, just as he is holy. This doesn’t mean that each member is always holy. Jesus said there would be both good and bad members in the Church (John 6:70), and not all the members would go to heaven (Matt. 7:21–23).

But the Church itself is holy because it is the source of holiness and is the guardian of the special means of grace Jesus established, the sacraments (cf. Eph. 5:26).

The Church Is Catholic (Matt. 28:19–20, Rev. 5:9–10, CCC 830–856)
Jesus’ Church is called catholic (“universal” in Greek) because it is his gift to all people. He told his apostles to go throughout the world and make disciples of “all nations” (Matt. 28:19–20).

For 2,000 years the Catholic Church has carried out this mission, preaching the good news that Christ died for all men and that he wants all of us to be members of his universal family (Gal. 3:28).

Nowadays the Catholic Church is found in every country of the world and is still sending out missionaries to “make disciples of all nations” (Matt. 28:19).

The Church Jesus established was known by its most common title, “the Catholic Church,” at least as early as the year 107, when Ignatius of Antioch used that title to describe the one Church Jesus founded. The title apparently was old in Ignatius’s time, which means it probably went all the way back to the time of the apostles.

The Church Is Apostolic (Eph. 2:19–20, CCC 857–865)
The Church Jesus founded is apostolic because he appointed the apostles to be the first leaders of the Church, and their successors were to be its future leaders. The apostles were the first bishops, and, since the first century, there has been an unbroken line of Catholic bishops faithfully handing on what the apostles taught the first Christians in Scripture and oral Tradition (2 Tim. 2:2).

These beliefs include the bodily Resurrection of Jesus, the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, the sacrificial nature of the Mass, the forgiveness of sins through a priest, baptismal regeneration, the existence of purgatory, Mary’s special role, and much more —even the doctrine of apostolic succession itself.

Early Christian writings prove the first Christians were thoroughly Catholic in belief and practice and looked to the successors of the apostles as their leaders. What these first Christians believed is still believed by the Catholic Church. No other Church can make that claim.

Pillar of Fire, Pillar of Truth

catholic.com/library/pillar.asp
 
Is it possible for you to attend daily mass? Usually there is a
difference at these since most attending are more devout and
that might inspire you a little more.
I was recently very sick and there is no one here to help me, so
I started having a “pity party” until I started offering my suffering
to the Lord. Physically I still felt awful, but my spirit was joyful.
Offer your suffering to the Lord and recognize that your struggles
might yield some joyfulness in your spirit.
Something else that helps me to worship and ignore some of the
distractions is sitting very close to the front. If I hear something
which is not “right” I pray silently “Forgive him Lord and send
your Holy Spirit to inspire him.”
 
As I started to read this post I thought it was going to be constructive. Boy was I wrong!
**
Are you sure of that?**

My protestant family says the Nicene Creed.

Written by and for Catholics

And yes, though Jesus hung out with a lot of sinners, he didn’t invite them to the last supper to eat his body and blood.

Yes He did. All of the 12 Apostles were sinners! Judas was at the table too!

As I said earlier…I DO believe the teachings of the Church…that doesn’t mean I have to LIKE all of them. I DO follow all of them.

“I don’t hold to all the teachings anymore, I don’t honestly believe in confession, don’t believe penance is necessary, don’t believe in purgatory, don’t agree with all the teachings on birth control, don’t see the point of **fasting/abstinence **”

These are your words from your post. These are the teachings of the Church. All that was in black were from your post or your husbands.

Let me address a few of your “points”. One through eleven are quite good!

It’s good to put conditions on your love? What authority do you have? I thought the bishop was in the office of authority.:eek:

As for the following:

12.There are less rich people. - Not sure exactly how you came to this one? I’m assuming it’s because I listed the descriptor “rich” in with one of the parishes. That was a descriptor for the parish, not for the problems with it.

13.There are no couples who live together. - Had you added the phrase “and don’t go to confession and still take communion every week”, yes, that would be an accurate statement.

14.There are no “Cafeteria Catholic’s”. - I would think this would be a hope and prayer of all orthodox Catholics? That everyone knows and lives their faith?

Your post make it sound that you are church shopping and that none have met with your criteria.If I am wrong,I am sorry.
**We should all practice humility and remember that Jesus is one with His church and that the Church is His Bride.

His Church is full of sinners. The Church is a hospital for the sick. He did not come for the rightous.For that I am thankful.**
 
Dear FellowChristian…

It’s pretty bad when you have to quote yourself…and feel as though you’re defending yourself instead of getting the Christian support and guidance you were hoping for…but just to clarify:
I guess it boils down to…I know the Catholic Church IS His Church…and though I don’t like a lot of the rules, I do still follow them all. My heart just aches for the love, care, and fellowship I received before… Especially right now…at home, alone, with a broken foot.
I posted that AFTER the reference you keep using. I was very upset and trying to work through things. I thought that was the point of all this? To be able to vent, share, ask for help… Work through problems…grow. 🤷 Maybe I’m missing something?

I assume the apostles had some sort of forgiveness before they ate of his body and drank of his blood? That was what I was getting at.

Obviously we don’t agree that everyone should do their best to follow the rules the Church has laid out. What authority do I have, you ask? The same as all of us…the responsibility to follow the rules of the Church, to know the rules, to hope that others know and follow them…to be aware of it.

Just a thought… You’ve been judging everything I’ve said… What is your authority? 😉
 
Is it possible for you to attend daily mass? Usually there is a
difference at these since most attending are more devout and
that might inspire you a little more.
I was recently very sick and there is no one here to help me, so
I started having a “pity party” until I started offering my suffering
to the Lord. Physically I still felt awful, but my spirit was joyful.
Offer your suffering to the Lord and recognize that your struggles
might yield some joyfulness in your spirit.
Something else that helps me to worship and ignore some of the
distractions is sitting very close to the front. If I hear something
which is not “right” I pray silently “Forgive him Lord and send
your Holy Spirit to inspire him.”
I think I would enjoy daily mass…you’re right, in most cases the people are more devout. Right now I can’t go cause I can’t drive (right foot…no gas/brake pedals). My foot was in way worse condition after Sunday mass…evidently not elevated for an hour an a half is a bad thing. 😦 But, I’ll look into that for after I’m all healed up. 👍

I’ve been trying today to “offer up my suffering”…through prayer and through singing songs of praise. My foot is still swollen and purple…but I’m trying. 😊 Please keep me in your prayers…it would mean so much to me. :o Thank you for your kind words…right now my spirit just soaks up each touch of kindness. Truly a blessing…
 
Still Trying,
Keep your chin up. It took us a while to find an orthodox church in a very liberal diocese. However it was worth the wait!
Please, whatever you do, don’t lose your faith in God and his One Holy Church.
I am praying for you!
 
Still Trying,
I forgot to tell you that I will be praying for you and your husband!
We have Eucharistic Adoration each Friday at my parish and
I will remember you then as well. You may not have Catholic
friends that you can see, but we are here.
 
Still_Trying,

I haven’t gone back too far in catching up, but I saw something in there about not believing in confession so much anymore. I know what you’re talking about from my core belief about for many years. Only recently have I really found good reason and understanding for the necessity of outwardly confessing to another person, which I got from doing small group fellowships with some non-denominational buddies. Only then did I realize how helpful and necessary it is in the process of repentance. I thought that was enough, until I just didn’t feel a sense of forgiveness, because after all they were just friends. I took that same openness I found with them to my next confession, and it was just amazing! I didn’t know I could be so open and honest with my priest. I’ve been going to confession every 3 months since then (about 2 years or so), and wouldn’t give it up for anything, now.

Have faith, brother, there is so much good in your heart. Continue to strive to be a soldier for God, I know He will shine his light on you when you truly need Him to. You have some great supporters here, which is something I am thankful for on your behalf.

Peace and Blessings. May your foot be healed quickly and completely.
 
I couldn’t bring myself to read the whole thread, so I don’t know where you ended up. I got to where you’re questioning your faith in the Church. Dude, you shouldn’t have faith in the Church. The Church is full of people. The Church is full of problems. But . . . and this is the good part . . . the Church is full of Christ. Those people who are teaching falsely - Christ loves them. Those people who are ‘liberal’ and unorthodox - Christ loves them as well. People who think that this time in history is the only time that the Church has faced similar issues - well, they just aren’t aware of the facts.

Throughout history God has used real men and women of God to reform the Church. But they had to stay in it to change it. I’m a new Catholic. My diocese is not perfect, but I know that we’re not as bad off as many others. I thought at first that my parish was lacking in community - but dang, I was coming from a Church that I had GROWN UP IN. Those people in the Protestant church knew me when I was a child. They were there when I graduated. They were there when I got married. Of course I’m not going to feel the same sense of community in my new Parish. You know what I did?

I jumped in and made myself available to be welcomed. We can play our own parts in walling ourselves off from others. I purposely broke down the walls I was putting up. I joined the Knights of Columbus. I recently made my Cursillo (which, if offered in your diocese - I would encourage you to attend). I volunteered for the RCIA team and I believe I made a real difference by just speaking up and being heard.

I’ll be praying for your family.
 
I couldn’t bring myself to read the whole thread, so I don’t know where you ended up. I got to where you’re questioning your faith in the Church. Dude, you shouldn’t have faith in the Church. The Church is full of people. The Church is full of problems. But . . . and this is the good part . . . the Church is full of Christ. Those people who are teaching falsely - Christ loves them. Those people who are ‘liberal’ and unorthodox - Christ loves them as well. People who think that this time in history is the only time that the Church has faced similar issues - well, they just aren’t aware of the facts.

Throughout history God has used real men and women of God to reform the Church. But they had to stay in it to change it. I’m a new Catholic. My diocese is not perfect, but I know that we’re not as bad off as many others. I thought at first that my parish was lacking in community - but dang, I was coming from a Church that I had GROWN UP IN. Those people in the Protestant church knew me when I was a child. They were there when I graduated. They were there when I got married. Of course I’m not going to feel the same sense of community in my new Parish. You know what I did?

I jumped in and made myself available to be welcomed. We can play our own parts in walling ourselves off from others. I purposely broke down the walls I was putting up. I joined the Knights of Columbus. I recently made my Cursillo (which, if offered in your diocese - I would encourage you to attend). I volunteered for the RCIA team and I believe I made a real difference by just speaking up and being heard.

I’ll be praying for your family.
We tried joining the various groups…volunteering, etc. Got “cold shoulders” and the occasional curt nod. But, at least we tried! 🙂

Yes, Christ loves us all…thankfully! 😃 But in the same breath, just because He loves us, we are not excused from being responsible for our actions.

I haven’t heard of a Cursillo…can you tell me more about it?

Thanks for your prayers!! 🙂

P.S. I’m not a dude…I’m a Mrs. 😊 hehehe

P.P.S. Congrats on your conversion! 🙂
 
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