J
Joegrane
Guest
Firstly I thank ProdigalSon for his excellent posts. I am in a similar place in my life and agree with him entirely.
Goldenbear, women often misunderstand what is going on inside a man who is tempted by and addicted to porn. This is understandable since most women are wired somewhat differently than most men in this area. Since we’ve gone through this and have made much progress I’ll share with you several resources that we found helpful.
Every Man’s Series.
The authors are very solid Christians whose moral standards are very similar to the Catholic’s. Fred was a sex addict who was once engaged to two women at the same time. He had an amazing Christian conversion, married a born again Christian woman who was a virgin and now does marriage prep courses for Christians along with his writing. I think you’ll also find his wife’s comments helpful.
fredstoeker.com/books.shtml
This pair of books changed our relationship and it was actually enjoyable to compare our notes! The authors, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn, are Harvard grads and devout Christians. The books are probably best categorized as Christian sociology since they are based on large professional surveys of over 1000 men and 1000 women. You know men won’t usually open up and reveal their feelings but the anonymous survey allowed them to do just that.
For example the survey revealed that one attraction of porn is that men feel desired and respected by the women, if only for their money. It also reveals that porn stars cannot compete well with a wife who respects her husband and is supportive of him. It shows that while men value the effort his wife makes to maintain an attractive figure, her figure is not nearly as important as her level of supportiveness and respect for him. Apparently that teenage football player who used to like to hear the cheers from the cheerleaders did not stop liking to hear them when he got married. Just don’t expect him to admit it. I recommend that you buy the pair of books for you both to read.
For Women Only offers fascinating insights into the secret lives of men. Based upon a landmark nationwide poll…
shaunti.com/BooksStudies/tabid/123/Default.aspx
Finally don’t forget that science is showing that sex addiction is a real addiction. There are neurochemical factors involved. Furthermore sometimes people use the release of neurochemicals to try to self-medicate psychological pain or even relatively minor imbalances in brain chemicals. The following articles explain this.
The Psychopharmacology of Pictorial Pornography
by Dr. Judith Reisman, the section around pp19-24 is particularly interesting.
drjudithreisman.com/white_papers.html
wellnessresources.com/weight/articles/obesity_and_the_pleasure_of_food/
amenclinics.com/blog/1172/hormones-and-addictions-a-landmark-find/