Being Driven Crazy at Mass

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The choir needs to practice. Stay in your car w your Bible & pray.
Speak to the Pastor about the dress code. Hecan place-instructions in the bulletin
God bless
 
The choir needs to practice. Stay in your car w your Bible & pray.
Speak to the Pastor about the dress code. Hecan place-instructions in the bulletin
God bless
Yes, the choir needs to practice but not right before the start of a Mass. At my parish, the choirs was supposed to wrap up their practice no later than 10 minutes before the start of Mass (which they usually do) so those attending Mass have at least ten minutes of relative silence to settle down and prepare for Mass.
 
Your challenge is to push all these distractions aside. Are they more important to you then looking at God, talking to God, sitting with God?
I’ve noticed that our parish is now offering “Centering Prayer” and other meditation “retreats.” It feels very New Age.
Have you been to one of these retreats or found out what this is all about, is it called Centering Prayer or meditation?
 
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Hello there. I just created an account because there are elderly women without kids that sit in the cry room and treat the room like a club and it upsets me. I was looking for advice on how to politely get them out of there & into the main church so that I wouldn’t be bothered.
At our Church it is younger adult males and older teen boys in the cry room. Makes it uncomfortable for many of the younger moms when it comes to nursing babies. I asked the priest to address this issue and he did. Now the ushers scoot them out if they attempt to enter without a young child with them. Maybe your priest can do simethkbg similar.

Personally, if it was elderly ladies, I would be tempted to use them as “baby watch” and go back to sit in Mass.
 
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Well said I am glad someone put it into words and drew people’s attention to this as many people are misinformed as to think it’s fine. Thank you.
 
You are not being oversensitive… but you cannot let this all get to you and make your peace disturbed. You can do two things, or one of two things. 1 Pray. That is for strength and courage for yourself and also pray for the people in your parish who need it. Remember in this that you have imperfections too. 2 Do something about it. This will of course come out of 1, if God calls you to act on it in anyway He will give you the grace to do so kindly and lovingly, remembering as I said that you are a sinner too and imperfect also in your expressions of love for Him. Try to see the best in others first, the person who gives you communion (forgive me those people who are out there insisting in the terms- I forgot the term - please do not correct this post just for that, I am unable due to dizziness to scroll easily) may have been trying to dress in a well matched neat and tidy way for God but has yet to be corrected by God as to modesty. God has His way, if He includes you in it then He will show you a kind and gentle way to do it. I do not disagree with you, I too see this in my parish well dressed people with eye wateringly short skirts or low cut tops, or see through tops and I think that God is working on that person/people. As for noise, I agree with you, but think that perhaps it is down to me to find that silent place Christ talks of deep within me. I think Jesus would welcome all His children even if they are a bit noisy and boisterous, I mean they are after all there, and that is what matter to Him, I’d think. He did after all tell the disciples not to stop the children coming to Him. These are just my guesses, I do not claim to know the mind of Jesus. I just think it is probably my comfort I am seeking when I want everyone to keep quiet not God’s. I am the lover of silence, Jesus has plenty of silence when the church is closed. Just my thoughts, though I do agree with you that people should be more reverent and respectful of people who wish to pray, it seems this noisy world is the one we live in, not the lovely silent one we’d like. Still perhaps you may find after careful prayer, God calls you to have a word with your priest. God bless and your parish.
 
To the OP:

Honestly, just find your nearest Latin Mass and go there when you can. Otherwise it’s just loads of heartache and frustration trying to change the Mass where you are. I don’t believe it can be done. What you are seeing is the fruit of Vatican II, right or wrong. I try to avoid it as much as possible. Maybe you can find a more reverent Mass in another parish, though, if you don’t have Latin Mass near you?
 
That’s interesting–“they used their orders to hide.”

This isn’t the appropriate thread to elaborate on this, but as a convert to Catholicism who has never been familiar with a time when parish schools were staffed primarily by nuns, I would like to see links to articles or recommendations of books about this phenomena. Perhaps another thread, although I fear that it might get shut down by the CAF staff.

Or you could PM me, but it’s possible for reasons that I won’t go into that I won’t receive the PM.

Thanks so much.

As for the thread, I agree with many of the posters who are telling the OP to move up front and try to be more accepting of everyone’s quirks.

I also urge the OP to recognize that many parishioners are using their phones to follow along with the Mass. My husband (a systems administrator with an international computer comopany) does this.
 
Is it possible that these elderly women just love children (not in a “bad” way), and want to be around them? Perhaps they don’t have grandchildren, or perhaps their grandchildren live far away, or perhaps their grandchildren are grown up.

My mother loved children and babies, and I can see her sitting with young moms just so she could be around them. She also had wonderful advice for young moms, who often came to her for help with their questions about their babies.

OTOH, if the ladies are just chatting and socializing and clearly not interested in babies and young mothers (or the Mass), then my approach would be to speak to the priest (privately) and ask him to intervene. There’s a good chance that he will step into the cry room before Mass and kindly ask the ladies to please move into the pews in the nave and allow the cry room to be used exclusively by parents and children.

One more possibility that just occurred to me–it’s possible that the pews in the nave are hard and uncomfortable for older bones, and perhaps the ladies appreciate the softer sofas and armchairs in the cry room. What I’ve seen elderly people do is bring a seat cushion with them to sit on the hard pews. Again, the priest could kindly suggest this to the woman, if this is the case.

No matter what the explanation, I would turn this over to the priest. Even if the ladies love children, they should allow the room to be used for its purpose–young families with babies and very young children, and sometimes special needs older children who require extraordinary care which might be noisy and therefore distracting for others.

Perhaps parishes should take a clue from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and create a 'Strangers Room" for all the people who want to talk throughout the Mass! In the Sherlock Holmes stories, Holmes’s brother Mycroft is a founding member of the strangest “club” in London–the Diogenes Club, in which the members are NOT PERMITTED to take the slightest notice of each other. Silence is the rule–no one can talk to anyone else–except in the Stranger’s Room, which is where members can bring their friends (if they have any) and visitors who are inquiring about joining the Diogenes Club. If parishes had a Stranger’s Room, people who prefer to talk and socialize during Mass instead of remaining silent could do so without disturbing others (e.g., the OP of this thread!). Or they could use the room to do a text conversation. Problem solved?! 😁 🤔
 
Yes it was. It got to the point many young moms were sitting on the floor in the bathroom to nurse instead. I’m an old mom so I just took it to the priest.

I like your thinking about the elderly ladies and agree that they may be reliving some very fond memories by being with the young ones and moms. They also may be very lonely and NEED the socialization. Very good points!
 
@LoveIsEnough
I used to be very critical of what was happening in Mass, and in general. And then I read something which changed the way I looked at all this. A mother explained to her children that the people were doing the wrong thing, and what a shame they hadn’t had someone to teach them the right thing, so we should pray for them.

I do believe in mentioning it to the pastor, bit after finding out what one pastor I had was dealing with–way more work than I had known about, and complaints from people in every direction (Mass is too traditional, Mass is not traditional enough, talk more about this, don’t keep bringing this (same subject!) Up, etc)–I saw why he had trouble!

What does God want you to do in this circumstance, and what does the devil want? And which are you doing?

Go to Mass, pray for those who are not as far along the path as you are, express gratitude for your knowledge and understanding, and focus on worshipping God, which is what you are there for. Don’t let the others distract you for your worship, because that is what your enemy wants!

I am not always good at that yet, but it is what I have learned to strive for. A spirit of criticism is a terrible thing.
 
People walk into the church talking - and continue talking - it’s like a Bingo event.
I’ve been told - on this site - to find another church also -
There’s nothing you can do.
Parish Priest cant even convince the talebearers and gabbers.
Front row sitting - doesn’t work. All the various talk tones - travel forward.
I’ve learned to look at church more like a coffee shop - that’s helped -
that it’s a place to have a chance to be community -
catch up on things - restaurants - Christmas hassles - etc -
 
When I see people treating Mass so flippantly, it drives me bananas. Chewing gum, wearing flip flops, …
Seeing someone wearing flipflops in church “drives you bananas”? I think you need to consider the possibility that you may be overreacting.
 
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Have you voiced your concerns to the priest?

He may have heard similar complaints from others.

I too pray the Anima Christi right after mass but I find it hard to do so with families talking at each other loudly about their plans for brunch.
 
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Cor_ad_Cor:
Centering Prayer
This couldn’t be more wrong, Centering prayer is Not Catholic, Not Traditional and is most definitely New Age and should be avoided at all costs. Pope Benedict XVi when Cardinal Ratzinger warned against this form of prayer. There are plenty of articles explaining better than I could the dangers of this, here is just one
The Danger of Centering Prayer | Catholic Answers
I think if this is going to be brought up it is only fair to also link to Fr. Keating’s response to Benedict’s Letter.

https://www.contemplativeoutreach.org/faq-item/response-then-cardinal-ratzinger’s-1989-“letter-bishops-catholic-church-some-aspects-christ

I will also add that anyone who has ever studied or done contemplative prayer ( aka centering prayer) recognizes upon reading Benedict’s letter and the CA article that what is being condemned is not contemplative prayer. Rather Benedict was addressing other innovations that were not rooted in Catholic tradition and should rightly be warned against.
 
Well, not me, and not anyone I know. Maintaining order in the classroom or in church did not require harshness. In all eight grades of an elementary school taught by nuns, I never knew one nun who was a harsh disciplinarian. Like any good teacher, they cared about their children; but they didn’t let them run wild.
We had some crabby nuns but none were harsh disciplinarians.
 
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