Being Modest and Mass

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MrsMW said:
As someone who does dress modestly I can agree that so many show up to Mass without enough clothes on. **At some point though men do have to take responsibility for their own wondering eye. **

As to not being equal. We are equal just different. I am not sure where you are going with that. I can assure you that many conservative modest women want to wear pants not because some radical feminist said something long ago. Many women wear them because it is more comfortable and/or they are cold.

I’m not asking for women priests or abortion rights. I am not for skin tight or revealing clothes.
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Yes ---- men need to take responsibility for their own thoughts/actions.
 
Are you sure about that. I always thought that that was from her. I thought i remember reading it from Sr. Lucia’s memoirs about the apparitions.
 
James924 said:
The blunt fact is, slacks (almost without exception) show the hind end, and a modest skirt (usually) doesn’t.
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You can very, very easily get pants that are made of out material that is more similar to skirt material than denim, and this problem goes away.
And to this the standard response is, “well I don’t want to see men’s butts in slacks either!” but this is just a biological non-reality. Women are simply not as easily distracted or drawn to this as men are, this is a burden for men, pure and simple.
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This is total garbage. I am a male, and I do not feel drawn to look at women’s butts during Mass ever, or even outside of Mass ever. I am hardly representative, but the idea that men are totally incorrigible and primitive is as offensive as it is untrue. To this claim I say only one thing – it is easy to look away or shut one’s eyes.
chain said:
My step daughter thinks I am nuts. But boys are boys, and it takes so little for their minds to run amuck.
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Also untrue. I think that this is an enormous myth that creates reality. If people stopped having this mentality, maybe the hypersexualization of the male would cease because there is no longer a societal force driving them to a particular form of behavior.
 
LittleHannah said:
Are you sure about that. I always thought that that was from her. I thought i remember reading it from Sr. Lucia’s memoirs about the apparitions.
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That quote has been researched – and has not been found anywhere in the Vatican site.
 
Baelor said:
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James924:
The blunt fact is, slacks (almost without exception) show the hind end, and a modest skirt (usually) doesn’t.
Click to expand...
You can very, very easily get pants that are made of out material that is more similar to skirt material than denim, and this problem goes away.
And to this the standard response is, “well I don’t want to see men’s butts in slacks either!” but this is just a biological non-reality. Women are simply not as easily distracted or drawn to this as men are, this is a burden for men, pure and simple.
Click to expand...
This is total garbage. I am a male, and I do not feel drawn to look at women’s butts during Mass ever, or even outside of Mass ever. I am hardly representative, but the idea that men are totally incorrigible and primitive is as offensive as it is untrue. To this claim I say only one thing – it is easy to look away or shut one’s eyes.
40.png
chain:
My step daughter thinks I am nuts. But boys are boys, and it takes so little for their minds to run amuck.
Click to expand...
Also untrue. I think that this is an enormous myth that creates reality. If people stopped having this mentality, maybe the hypersexualization of the male would cease because there is no longer a societal force driving them to a particular form of behavior.
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👍👍👍 ---- especially to your last statements.
 
At my former church there was a post that ran in the bulletin all summer reminding women/teens to dress modestly and requested that shoulders be covered. I am a convert to the faith and observed in my parish that coming to Mass required a different approach than in my Protestant church days. Then women “dressed up” for church and compliments on appearance were enjoyed. The focus at the Mass is entirely different. This is all about Jesus. I learned to dress modestly and in a way that did not draw attention to myself so that people sitting in the pew weren’t thinking how nice I looked or how pretty my dress was but they were able to focus on the liturgy and the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Save those eye-catching outfits for another venue.

It’s great to come home to the church! So glad you are making the journey. Be patient with yourself as there is a LOT to learn.
 
burningheart said:
At my former church there was a post that ran in the bulletin all summer reminding women/teens to dress modestly and requested that shoulders be covered. I am a convert to the faith and observed in my parish that coming to Mass required a different approach than in my Protestant church days. Then women “dressed up” for church and compliments on appearance were enjoyed. The focus at the Mass is entirely different. This is all about Jesus. I learned to dress modestly and in a way that did not draw attention to myself so that people sitting in the pew weren’t thinking how nice I looked or how pretty my dress was but they were able to focus on the liturgy and the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Save those eye-catching outfits for another venue.

It’s great to come home to the church! So glad you are making the journey. Be patient with yourself as there is a LOT to learn.
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It’s a shame that your former parish didn’t also remind men and teen boys to dress modestly, too. Guys in tank tops with underarm hair hanging out and males in gangsta shorts are far from modest, too. The topic of modesty and women in pants has been beaten to death ad nauseam here on CAF, so here’s my bottom line:

Men, keep custody of your eyes. Women, don’t dress like hoochies. Men, control yourself at all costs, offer up “tempting” situations, and remember even the scantily dressed women is STILL your sister in Christ! Women, don’t wear short shorts or short dresses/skirts, tight trousers, or low-cut shirts. There’s no reason for it and it can cause your brothers in Christ to be tempted. Let’s help each other out, here, without throwing blame at the other gender. Let’s offer a quick prayer this thread will die out and no one start a new one!
 
Threads like this are one of the reasons I doubt I should keep going to this site.
 
LightBound said:
It’s a shame that your former parish didn’t also remind men and teen boys to dress modestly, too. Guys in tank tops with underarm hair hanging out and males in gangsta shorts are far from modest, too. The topic of modesty and women in pants has been beaten to death ad nauseam here on CAF, so here’s my bottom line:

Men, keep custody of your eyes. Women, don’t dress like hoochies. Men, control yourself at all costs, offer up “tempting” situations, and remember even the scantily dressed women is STILL your sister in Christ! Women, don’t wear short shorts or short dresses/skirts, tight trousers, or low-cut shirts. There’s no reason for it and it can cause your brothers in Christ to be tempted. Let’s help each other out, here, without throwing blame at the other gender. Let’s offer a quick prayer this thread will die out and no one start a new one!
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Whats wrong with the conversation that is being said? I see nothing wrong with it, honestly. Each person has his or her own opinion and is allowed to express it. You don’t have to agree with anything thats said, nor do you have to read or respond to it.
 
JoArtist said:
Threads like this are one of the reasons I doubt I should keep going to this site.
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Again, its one thread and you don’t have to read it, agree with or post on it. There are some that are liberal and some conservative. To each their own.
 
“More souls will go to hell for sins of the flesh than for any other reason”

Now, that, is without a doubt, something Our Lady DID say at Fatima!!!
 
Rule of thumb: Dress as nice for Sunday Mass as you did for Saturday night!
 
There IS a Vatican Code of Modesty that has been recommended for a very long time, I think, possibly 50 years or longer. Women’s fashions started becoming immodest on a grand scale after WWI. In essence it consists of these directives, especially in church:
  1. Clothing should not follow closely the contours of the body. A few inches of ease is best. If your clothing outlines your bosom, bottom, or hips, it is too tight. (Neither should a woman outline her pregnant figure with stretchy tops). Slacks or pants are best avoided completely.
  2. Fabrics should be opaque, not see-through, nor skin-colored as to appear transparent.
  3. Necklines should be no deeper than two-fingers’ breadth below the pit of the throat.
  4. Hemlines should be long enough to cover the knees generously when sitting or standing.
  5. Garments must have sleeves, and, minimally, reach to the middle of the upper arm. Sleeveless blouses, tank tops, and cap sleeves are unacceptable.
  6. In the presence of the Blessed Sacrament a woman’s head should be covered.
    While there is no mention of footwear, I suggest that
  7. Beach-type shoes, “hardly there” sandals or flip-flops, are for the beach or backyard.
    and
  8. Clothing that looks like lingerie, even though it is sold as outerwear, should not show as it is still suggestive.
I hope this is helpful. Women need to bear in mind that what they wear can have an effect, for good or evil, on those who look upon them. We have an obligation to protect others from temptation, especially men, who are very visual creatures, bless them. I know that for years it has been a help to me to have had these guidelines. Ideally, we should be dressing modestly wherever we happen to be, though these days it is very difficult to purchase lovely, yet modest clothes. Even the pattern companies have let us down. But it is not an impossible task if one is determined to dress according to standards pleasing to Our Lord and His Blessed Mother. We will be held accountable for everything we do. +JMJ+
 
Walking_Home said:
That quote has been researched – and has not been found anywhere in the Vatican site.
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Researched? Everything in the world is not on the Vatican site. It was Our Lady who said to Lucia at Fatima that fashions would be introduced that would offend Our Lord very much. Obviously, she was right. It has happened. Arguing about it won’t alter the facts.
 
RC1947 said:
Researched? Everything in the world is not on the Vatican site. It was Our Lady who said to Lucia at Fatima that fashions would be introduced that would offend Our Lord very much. Obviously, she was right. It has happened. Arguing about it won’t alter the facts.
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There is no evidence from the Church Herself – that such statements were made by our Lady. It is a made up “quote” – usually found in “Trad” blogs/sites – which have no authority.
 
Expanding on this thread, there has been a high school student reading the Gospel at Mass. Her selection of clothing is very inappropriate (i.e. very tight jeans or very short dresses). My family admires the youth in our parish for taking an active part in the Mass, but we sit and pray for her that she be given the gift of better judgment. Is there anything else we should do?
 
RC1947 said:
There IS a Vatican Code of Modesty that has been recommended for a very long time, I think, possibly 50 years or longer. Women’s fashions started becoming immodest on a grand scale after WWI. In essence it consists of these directives, especially in church:
  1. Clothing should not follow closely the contours of the body. A few inches of ease is best. If your clothing outlines your bosom, bottom, or hips, it is too tight. (Neither should a woman outline her pregnant figure with stretchy tops). Slacks or pants are best avoided completely.
  2. Fabrics should be opaque, not see-through, nor skin-colored as to appear transparent.
  3. Necklines should be no deeper than two-fingers’ breadth below the pit of the throat.
  4. Hemlines should be long enough to cover the knees generously when sitting or standing.
  5. Garments must have sleeves, and, minimally, reach to the middle of the upper arm. Sleeveless blouses, tank tops, and cap sleeves are unacceptable.
  6. In the presence of the Blessed Sacrament a woman’s head should be covered.
    While there is no mention of footwear, I suggest that
  7. Beach-type shoes, “hardly there” sandals or flip-flops, are for the beach or backyard.
    and
  8. Clothing that looks like lingerie, even though it is sold as outerwear, should not show as it is still suggestive.
I hope this is helpful. Women need to bear in mind that what they wear can have an effect, for good or evil, on those who look upon them. We have an obligation to protect others from temptation, especially men, who are very visual creatures, bless them. I know that for years it has been a help to me to have had these guidelines. Ideally, we should be dressing modestly wherever we happen to be, though these days it is very difficult to purchase lovely, yet modest clothes. Even the pattern companies have let us down. But it is not an impossible task if one is determined to dress according to standards pleasing to Our Lord and His Blessed Mother. We will be held accountable for everything we do. +JMJ+
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Might as well – wear a large card board box – with a hole for the head – and one for each arm. And again – men should be responsible for their own thoughts/acts – and Not hold others accoutable.
 
Walking_Home said:
Might as well – wear a large card board box – with a hole for the head – and one for each arm. And again – men should be responsible for their own thoughts/acts – and Not hold others accoutable.
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Ah now you show your true colors. You know better than the vatican code of modesty. And I always thought it was Trads who get accused of being "more Catholic than the pope’.

The “men should be responsible argument” is an old one, and a silly one. No, no, lets do some catholicism 101 here, if one gender knows of another gender’s weakness, then they should not do things that exploit it and then just say, well thats their problem. That type of thinking is about as uncatholic as you can get. We’re supposed to help each other down here, believe it or not. Its called mutual sanctification. The thought of a woman immodestly dressed sitting there with a smirk on her face saying “sorry, its your problem” is the epitome of evil.

Also, don’t insult church instructions or guidelines. Its not okay and it exposes you as a bad catholic.

After that comment i think I’ll ignore everything you ever say from this point out. Yes, yes, I know, I’m sure the feeling’s mutual.

@MsMW, she said “barely there” sandals which I think are the type designed to make you look like you’re walking around with no shoes on. Not that I think beach sandals are ideal anyway…
 
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