Believing in One God - Jesus Christ

[sweetjesus]

I am a practising Roman Catholic and going to marry a non-catholic person this year. We have agreed to follow our own religion but to keep up the harmony and understanding in the family, we have agreed to respect and be part of the rituals followed by the other.

In this regard, I may have to carryout certain rituals which is expected out of a daughter-in-law. Though I will be doing it for their happiness, my heart, soul and body will only bow before our Lord Jesus Christ though in practicality it may appear as though I am worshiping their God. My eyes will only see my Saviour.

Please revert with your feedback whether I am right in my thinking keeping in mind a good married life.

 

[Trishie]

Thank you for your question and your intentions.
I ask the Lord to help you in your choices and directions regarding your future.

A marriage of a Catholic to a non-Catholic is intrinsically an obstacle to full spiritual communion between the couple.

A dispensation is required for a marriage between a Catholic and non-Catholic. If your partner is unbaptised, a dispensation is required. Without the dispensations, the marriage is invalid. You should speak to your priest as soon as possible.

You know that as a Catholic you must marry in the Catholic Sacrament and you are required to bring the children up as Catholics. In order to be given a dispensation you have to promise to avoid dangers to your faith, and your partner is required to promise to have the children baptised and raised Catholics.

There is a loneliness and a separation in not sharing the same faith, but I pray that God’s loving will and blessing will be with you as you continue considering your future.

God’s kindest blessings to you,
Trishie

 

[LilyM]

You came on here less than six months ago asking the same question. You were told very clearly that you CANNOT in good conscience perform any rituals of any other religion - and that answer hasn’t changed since then.

Look, the Christian martyrs who were killed in pagan Rome could’ve adopted your reasoning. They could have said to themselves ‘I could PRETEND to worship the pagan gods, to save my life and the lives of my loved ones, but keep the love of Jesus in my heart as I am doing so’.

They recognised this as worldly and wrong reasoning. They realised that the second commandment says very clearly not to bow in worship before any other god. Praying prayers to other gods is very clearly violating this commandment. They understood all this, and refused to even outwardly worship a foreign god, even though they lost everything they had and even their lives.

‘Whoever denies me before men, I will deny him before my Father in heaven’. Performing the rituals of another religion, even outwardly only, IS denying Jesus, as those early martyrs well understood. Pray to them to strengthen and deepen your faith and do NOT perform these rituals.

 

[Trishie]

Lily is absolutely correct. I was only concentrating on the issues regarding a marriage between a Catholic and non-Catholic and not addressing the rest of the issue…

What you propose to do is a betrayal of Jesus, {and it’s a bit schizophrenic…you can’t maintain your relationship with Christ if you are witnessing open betrayal of Him to others.

 

[Reuben_J]

Hi.

Fortunately Catholic Church does allow marriage with non-Catholic and I am glad that you are a practicing Catholic. Well my advice is for you to stay faithful to your faith and your God even if your husband does not share your belief. For starter do get married in the Church and yes you may need her dispensation. It would help a lot if this is made clear to your in-laws that you are a practicing Catholic. Do you think you can communicate that to them clearly and in a non-threatening way?

Nothing beats a good understanding with them so that what you do in the future will be understood by them and have their blessing. If they respect your belief then you do not have to do all the rituals just to oblige them. So that’s half the battle won for you. Remember that there is no compromise about worshipping the one and true God. Thus you should not even pretend that you can give homage to other gods let alone actually bowing to them.

May God bless you in your coming marriage.

 

[Eucharisted]

My girlfriend is Wiccan and you will not catch me praticing magical rituals with her - not because I hate her religion or I disrespect her, nor because I distrust her or don’t want to make her happy: the reason is because I must protect my soul and my faith from evil, not only for the love of God but also for the love of my girlfriend. We’ve talked a bit about each other’s faiths and practices, and I told her about Catholics not being allowed to perform magic or magical rituals, and I said I’d like to take her to Mass, and wouldn’t mind going to sometime she likes, and she was cool with it. I’m not saying this to brag, but to make a point: Be a good example of a Catholic. You can be either one of two things for the person you love: a Catholic or a nobody.

 

[Trishie]

From the bible in the chapter 6 of the 2nd book of Maccabees the Spirit of God gives answer to us, to you, whether God permits pretence or deception in practice of our faith.

Efforts were being made to force Eleazor, an honourable Jew to break the law of God, under threat of death. His friends begged him just to pretend to break it, so that he would be safe, so that he could continue living his life as he wished. His friends continued to beg him, saying it would be kindness to them if he would disobey God’s word, but pretend he was obeying the wishes of those who did not believe in his faith.

This good man replied that if he pretended to act against his religion, then it would give bad example to the young…just as you would to your own children… and they would believe that it is fine to pretend to do what others wanted him to do even if he wasn’t . He added that even if he fooled other people, he could never fool God. He said he would prefer to leave othere, and the younger generation, an example of how to prefer death to sinning against his religion.
“This was how he died, leaving his death as an example of nobility and a record of virtue not only for the young but for the great majority of the nation.” Macc 6:31

Chapter 7 tells us of the woman who were also being coerced by torture to act against their faith. The mother and her seven sons chose death rather than betray their faith and our God.

The bible is given to us by the Spirit of God to teach us. And this is what it is saying to you too…that you can’t pretend, even for kindness, to take part in the rituals of another religion. To do so, makes us hypocrites. To do so is to lie by action. I realise that this is a terrible dilemma and I ask all the saints who have died rather than betray their faith, to pray very kindly and powerfully for you.

 

[1ke]

I am a practising Roman Catholic and going to marry a non-catholic person this year. We have agreed to follow our own religion but to keep up the harmony and understanding in the family, we have agreed to respect and be part of the rituals followed by the other.

In this regard, I may have to carryout certain rituals which is expected out of a daughter-in-law. Though I will be doing it for their happiness, my heart, soul and body will only bow before our Lord Jesus Christ though in practicality it may appear as though I am worshiping their God. My eyes will only see my Saviour.

Please revert with your feedback whether I am right in my thinking keeping in mind a good married life.

You need to rethink this. It seems as if you are marrying not only a non-Catholic, but a non-Christian.

A Catholic needs permission from their bishop to marry a non-Christian, and the Catholic must present evidence that the practice of their faith will not be inhibited and that they will baptize and raise their children Catholic.

The Church also has guidelines on what is acceptable and not acceptable regarding attending other types of worship services. You would not be able to do as you propose and participate in praying to other gods. That is a sin against the First Commandment. It does not matter that you believe you would only be “pretending.” Christians are not to give such a witness-- this is called the sin of scandal.

Go talk to your priest. You have many issues to talk about. Marrying a non-Christian who worships other gods is a bad idea.

 

[sweetjesus]

Thank you for all your responses. I do understand the points made known to me by each of you and I fully agree to that. I am not pretending to worship other Gods, all I am saying is, though I will appear to be praying to their God, in reality I will only be thinking of Jesus Christ and praying to him.

For me it does not matter whose picture or idol is before me, i will only visualise our Saviour’s face and worship HIM alone. Please understand my point of view and guide me accordingly.

I beleive in being human before practising the religion. And I beleive strongly in having a one-to-one relationship with GOD. Which I will always continue. Do correct me if I am wrong.

 

[Reuben_J]

Thank you for all your responses. I do understand the points made known to me by each of you and I fully agree to that. I am not pretending to worship other Gods, all I am saying is, though I will appear to be praying to their God, in reality I will only be thinking of Jesus Christ and praying to him.

For me it does not matter whose picture or idol is before me, i will only visualise our Saviour’s face and worship HIM alone. Please understand my point of view and guide me accordingly.

I beleive in being human before practising the religion. And I beleive strongly in having a one-to-one relationship with GOD. Which I will always continue. Do correct me if I am wrong.

Hi, I really wish you all the best in your marriage. I am of the opinion that even though marrying a fellow Catholic is most ideal, in reality that may not happen at all. Be encouraged that you are determined to be faithful to your God and that is the most important thing. Your future action should therefore begins from there and they should fall into place.

I am glad you take all the advices positvely and I thought they are useful. If there are too many to remember or to follow, your conscience will not fail you if your heart is steadfast on Jesus. We are all called to be his witnesses no matter how insignificant or whereever we are. Who knows, the Lord may bless you and before you know it your future husband may be converted to the Lord. But I think you need to play the part. I like this saying, that God is faithful to those who are fiathful to him. Why? Because he is a faithful God! So be faithful and it will be honored by Him.

God bless.

 

[LilyM]

Thank you for all your responses. I do understand the points made known to me by each of you and I fully agree to that. I am not pretending to worship other Gods, all I am saying is, though I will appear to be praying to their God, in reality I will only be thinking of Jesus Christ and praying to him.

For me it does not matter whose picture or idol is before me, i will only visualise our Saviour’s face and worship HIM alone. Please understand my point of view and guide me accordingly.

I beleive in being human before practising the religion. And I beleive strongly in having a one-to-one relationship with GOD. Which I will always continue. Do correct me if I am wrong.

It doesn’t look like you actually do completely understand or completely agree with most of what we’ve said. And you’re wrong indeed if you think that you can say prayers to another god and still be faithful to Christ.

Our relationship to Christ as a commitment to Him - a public commitment which we have to demonstrate by publicly showing our faith in Him alone. We have to show our light to people, not hide it, remember? And pretending to worship another God is not just hiding it, it’s extinguishing it - probably completely.

Your relationship to Christ is a bit like your marriage actually (the Church is called Christ’s bride after all). You have to publicly behave as a Christian just like you have to publicly behave as a married person.

Imagine if your husband said to you one day ‘darling, my parents don’t like the idea of me publicly saying that I’m married to you - they’d rather I pretended to be married to another woman.’

‘So in public I will pretend to be married to her in order to make them happy. Of course I’ll still love you the whole time, it’s just that in public I’ll have to pretend to be married to someone else’. Would he be showing you any sort of true love - or any of the respect you deserve as his wife - if he pretended publicly to be married to another?

Jesus said ‘if you love Me you will keep my commands’. It’s part of having a proper loving relationship with Him that we keep the commandments, including the command not to worship (which includes praying to) other gods. And we can’t break them for the sake of convenience or to make others happy. When we do that it means that we’re telling Christ that ourselves or those other people are more important than Him. Which is wrong - He is more important than any person’s earthly happiness!

After all, it would have been very convenient and made Mary very happy if Jesus had chosen not to be crucified. It would have made lots of people happy if the apostles to choose to publicly deny their faith and not be killed for it!

He also said ‘you cannot serve two masters’. It’s either Him above all else (including your in-laws) or them, really.

 

[Trishie]

I beleive in being human before practising the religion. And I beleive strongly in having a one-to-one relationship with GOD. Which I will always continue. Do correct me if I am wrong.

We have ‘corrected’ you but because of your attachment, you clearly wish to have confirmation only of your own view.

**You wish us to contradict Jesus by agreeing with you that the second commandment is the greatest Commandment of love. Jesus said the opposite **

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind’ - this is the great and foremost commandment,
and there is a second like it, ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself’. The whole Law and Prophets hang on these two commands." [Matthew 22:37-40] Mrk 12:28-34]

This is really all there is to be said, because God has said it, Jesus Christ the Son of the Living God has said it.

**If you marry this man you must live as an honest Catholic, and he as his own faith. As it is, you intending to insult his relatives by hypocritally deceiving them. This is not charity. It is insult to their integrity. You are effectively lying to them about who you are and what kind of person is marrying their son.
Please God you will be able to extricate yourself from the lies you are proposing to witness. **

I’m sorry for your predicament. May Jesus who loves you, rescue you from this labyrinth. All any of us can do is to pray for you. May God give you His kindest blessings, and the inspirations of truth and courage.

Warm regards, Trishie

 

[Reuben_J]

I am a practising Roman Catholic and going to marry a non-catholic person this year. We have agreed to follow our own religion but to keep up the harmony and understanding in the family, we have agreed to respect and be part of the rituals followed by the other.

In this regard, I may have to carryout certain rituals which is expected out of a daughter-in-law. Though I will be doing it for their happiness, my heart, soul and body will only bow before our Lord Jesus Christ though in practicality it may appear as though I am worshiping their God. My eyes will only see my Saviour.

Please revert with your feedback whether I am right in my thinking keeping in mind a good married life.

I will refer to your OP again because others have given quite clear advice on this.

You said you all have agreed to follow your religion respectively. Based on this I shouldn’t see any problem if you refuse to participate in ritual to your future in-laws god. You can explain to them that your religion forbids you from doing so. That’s why in my earlier post you need to discuss this with them and try to convince them nicely and diplomatically (use all your charm if needs be) that you can’t bow to their God. See, we say there should not be any compromise in worshipping different god. My personal take is if they (in-laws) see that you are sincere in adhering to your religion by your words and action, most likely they will understand why you cannot partake in such ritual.

Another problem with trying to appease them now would be that they would expect you to do it again later in different circumstances and there will be no end to it. Believe me, I have seen things like this happened in mixed marriages. If you had done it now it will look very insincere for you to refuse later when they will ask you to do it again.

 

[1ke]

Thank you for all your responses. I do understand the points made known to me by each of you and I fully agree to that. I am not pretending to worship other Gods, all I am saying is, though I will appear to be praying to their God, in reality I will only be thinking of Jesus Christ and praying to him.

For me it does not matter whose picture or idol is before me, i will only visualise our Saviour’s face and worship HIM alone. Please understand my point of view and guide me accordingly.

We are guiding you: You **cannot **do what you propose. You cannot pray in front of these other gods, pictures, or idols. Period.

I beleive in being human before practising the religion.

God says to put HIM first and have NOTHING before him.

And I beleive strongly in having a one-to-one relationship with GOD. Which I will always continue. Do correct me if I am wrong.

Go talk to your priest for guidance. You are very misguided.

 

[ricko]

Let’s put it another way. No matter what you THINK, it is WRONG to do what you are planning. Have you forgotten the first commandment? Thou shall have no OTHER gods before me. You are playing a dangerous game here with your soul. Whom would you rather appease, your husband or God?

 

[yellowbird]

I think what you are suggesting is sort of like my husband making love to another woman but telling me it’s ok because he’s picturing my face.

 

[Trishie]

I think what you are suggesting is sort of like my husband making love to another woman but telling me it’s ok because he’s picturing my face.

That’s an apt analogy! It is like that.

The OP doesn’t seem to have thought through the awful complication that would be created for any children, how confusing for them and the possibility that the cultural strength of the other family may ultimately prevent any freedom of choice for the children’s religion.

 

[RebeccaJ]

I am a practising Roman Catholic and going to marry a non-catholic person this year. We have agreed to follow our own religion but to keep up the harmony and understanding in the family, we have agreed to respect and be part of the rituals followed by the other.

In this regard, I may have to carryout certain rituals which is expected out of a daughter-in-law. Though I will be doing it for their happiness, my heart, soul and body will only bow before our Lord Jesus Christ though in practicality it may appear as though I am worshiping their God. My eyes will only see my Saviour.

Please revert with your feedback whether I am right in my thinking keeping in mind a good married life.

The Catechism has information, most of which has been relayed here. Something that people leave out though, and maybe I notice it more because I am married to an atheist (my circumstance is different from yours, as I am a convert), is this part:

**1637 **In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: “For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband.” It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this “consecration” should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.139 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

In my own thinking on this, in regards to my marriage. I could not in good conscience participate in a non-Catholic ritual. It would be an indication that I am indifferent to my own faith.

While at the same time, I understand the need to be supportive of a spouse.

You are going to have to work this out, and it is a working out that will be continual, through your entire marriage. You need to have firm in your own mind what is acceptable to your needs of faith and communicate this clearly to your prospective spouse.

This one, I wouldn’t accept.

The entire portion on mixed marriages and marriages with disparity of cult (marrying a non-Christian):

**Mixed marriages and disparity of cult **
**1633 **In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a nonbaptized person) requires even greater circumspection.
**1634 **Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.
**1635 **According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.135 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.136 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.137
**1636 **Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple’s obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

As you can see, if you haven’t already done so you need to see a Priest (ASAP). He can help you with all the aspects of this journey you are embarking on.

God bless and congratulations.

 

[sweetjesus]

Dear All

Thank you once again for your keen interest in providing me guidance and necessary advice. I really appreciate it.

I am fighting a battle within myself. I pray to the LORD to guide me and help me take the right path.

Kindly continue to share your ideas, views, experiences if you feel it may be helpful to me

 

[LilyM]

Dear All

Thank you once again for your keen interest in providing me guidance and necessary advice. I really appreciate it.

I am fighting a battle within myself. I pray to the LORD to guide me and help me take the right path.

Kindly continue to share your ideas, views, experiences if you feel it may be helpful to me

There’s a very old saying in the Catholic church - in Latin it is ‘lex orandi, lex credendi’. In English it translates to ‘the way we pray is the way we believe’.

It’s a fact of human nature, well proven by psychologists, that you cannot say (or hear) anything repeatedly without it starting to affect the way you think, and yes, the way you believe.

If anyone said to you ‘you’re ugly’ every day, after a few weeks or months you would start actually believing it about yourself, at least sometimes, no matter how beautiful you thought you were beforehand.

So by praying for any length of time to gods of another religion, you are in grave danger of beginning to believe some if not all of the teachings of that religion and losing some or all of the Catholic truth in the process.

I’ll pray for you. Let us know what happens.