Bikinis are immodest - why exactly?

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As a man, I will have to say that one piece suits are safer for sure. It is true they don’t cause the same reaction a bikini does. However, the cut is still relevant. For example, cleavage would defeat the point and a bikini with full cups would be safer. Bottoms have been discussed exhaustively, so allow me to opt out on this one. 😛

As far as two piece suits go, it depends on the woman, the suit, the act. If the woman is beautiful but acts decently and the suit is decent, you have your own self-control to consider. If the suit is neutral but the particular woman is rather hormonal or the act is rather frisky, then you have to watch yourself and you’d better not trust yourself either. But when the suit is designed to be sexy and/or if the woman wants to be sexy, then that’s a whole new story.

I suppose much more is in the act than it would appear. For example, the extent of problem caused to me personally by a particular suit is not proportional to the attractiveness of the woman - and I don’t think I’m different from most normal men here. Sexual connotations are much more of a problem. Too much is too much and too much is not defined precisely in inches.
 
Another male perspective: my husband (European) says bikinis are ‘prettier’, but don’t necessarily excite more lust in him than one-pieces; he says it all depends on the cut.

My bikini bottom is not a triangle, but a pentagon! (Non-string.)Does that make a difference?

I’m all for full cups and comfy, non-string bottoms! I like to be actually able to swim! But I’ll still wear my two-pieces in Europe 🙂

Not among US guys, I promise! 🙂
 
embwt said:
What an interesting thread . . . probably the most interesting part (to me) is that in 5 pages of posts, it’s been all women posting with one (maybe two?) exceptions. So let me give my two cents worth as a man. I make no judgments on what people choose to wear or why. I just give you my thoughts as a man. Take it for what it’s worth.

I thought it was only men who didn’t understand women. This post has shown me that perhaps I was wrong . . . women also don’t understand men. Do men look at women in bathing suits and it triggers sexual thoughts? Yes. And when I say yes, I mean ABSOLUTELY!!! What a man does with this is up to the man. In my younger years, I searched for more. In my return to the Church and to the confessional, I try to distract myself with anything I can. I try to remind myself that yes, she is beautiful . . . a beautiful child of God.

In trying to follow the teachings of the Church, trips to the beach have become VERY difficult for me. Avoiding the near occasion of sin pretty much means avoiding the beach for me.

Do bikinis attract men’s eyes where they shouldn’t be? YES!!! The tops accentuate and say, “Look at these!!” The bottoms, as someone said in an earlier post, are a triangle. YES! Where does that triangle point?

That’s the nature of the suit. And truth be told, it has more to do with the suit and not the body in it. To you women who think you are not the one being looked at in this way because there are younger women with “better” bodies around, think again. The nature of the suit draws attention from men to where it shouldn’t be, regardless of how “unattractive” you may think you are. Your attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder . . . and I can assure you that EVERY SINGLE ONE of you in these bikinis are being looked at in this manner. Without exception.

Does a one piece bathing suit do this for men? Not nearly to the extent a bikini does. Not even close. I was at the beach last weekend and saw a young woman in a one piece suit. It really caught my eye because she was the only one. And I thought, “wow, this is a beautiful girl yet the one piece suit doesn’t draw the same attention from my eye.” I wish more women would start this trend. (And she happened to be Catholic, because I saw her make the sign of the cross!)

To all of you who will say that this is my/other men’s problem, I understand. I try to stay close to the sacraments, particularly confession, and always remember that Jesus said to look at another woman with lust in your eye is to commit adultery. I will continue to try to avert my eyes at the beach. But how many men at the beach will be going to confession afterwards? What do you think the rest are doing with their thoughts?

Something to think about, ladies, the next time you put on your bikini. I hope I don’t offend anyone, just trying to give some truthful, helpful advice. Take it or leave it. At least you know.
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I don’t go to the beach ever. I don’t want to see a bunch of teenage girls running around in what is basically underwear. God made men to respond to women a certain way. Period. It’s how we were made. It’s a fact, not an opinion.

I hope my Christian brothers and sisters take this into account. I had to politely tell my teenage niece a few things about the way she was dressing. Her response? “Well all my friends dress like this!” Uh, huh.

My brothers and sisters, currently the outside world is showing a lot of bad example. Example that goes outside our faith and beliefs. We need to show good example, not to show off and not to show we are better, but to live out our faith in the correct way. People can roll their eyes all they want, but the fact is we are told to be holy in all that we do.

God bless,
Ed
 
embwt said:
Try not to blame God for what you and I have to wrestle with . . . it’s our cross to bear. What you do with that cross is up to you. Just because “we all look,” doesn’t make it right. More of us men need to teach our sons better. And if any ladies want to help us avert our eyes, it would be much appreciated (at least by those of us trying to follow Church teaching . . . the rest will be disappointed).😉
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The “:p” symbolized that i was joking.

I was simply agreeing with the premise that most men do actually look at these women in bikinis, whether or not the women’s inentions are in that area.
 
Well, I see living my faith the “correct way” by not judging people, by helping the poor, by seeking God and truth always, by attending Mass and supporting the Church, by staying chaste, and by being there for others. I still don’t see how stomach exposure jeapordizes that. My bathing suit doesn’t even show cleavage!

Also, biologically, it is proven that men are wired to have more than one partner. Yet we do not live like that. And it’s an involuntary muscle that controls when we need to get rid of waste. Yet we also learn to control that involuntary muscle as well. Women are wired to pay attention to what a man says to her. Should men just not talk to women at all?

Seriously, I wonder if the reason bikinis are so “bad” is the forbidden fruit effect. To me, if you’re not showing cleavage, I don’t see an issue. But then again, I don’t think my stomach is one of my better features. I just like the feel of the sun and not having a wet T-shirt at the end of the day.
 
You confuse not judging people with Church teaching. If people decide they don’t even want to know what the Church teaches, fine. But it is a fact that men react a certain way. I think too many are involved in what I call internet opinion culture. Church teaching is not opinion. Jesus said to Peter, “He who hears you hears me.” We live in the world but we are not of the world. We are not to imitate the world.

My brothers and sisters in Christ, read you Catechism. Ask your priest questions. Do not be misled or misinformed by opinions. It is not a good way to find out about how God wants you to live.

God bless,
Ed
 
As a guy, I can tell you that we are extremely visual creatures, and what a woman might not think is not sexual, we really will think they are. Someone said that backs and arms and stomachs aren’t sexy?

Here’s news for you all! Women are beautiful and if exposed their bodies will always attract male attention and will often excite sexual desires. Hopefully we all know that sexual desire isn’t wrong and is a good, God-given thing - but some men are struggling to re-order their sexual desires, break out of a pattern of lust and to try and live out the Theology of the Body.

This is what I am trying to do at the moment. I swim a lot, and here in the UK a lot of women wear bikinis to the pool, so as you can imagine I am finding this very hard! It’s not that bikinis (or the women wearing them) are immodest but more that they are not aware of the effect that they are having. Many men want to do right by women and do not want to view women as objects and are trying desperately not to. This is hard enough when any magazine shop is filled with lad’s mags showing women as things to use for our pleasure!

Basically, do whatever you want and wear whatever you want but please try to be thoughtful of our struggles too! And please pray for me and anyone else who are attempting this!
 
edwest2 said:
My brothers and sisters in Christ, read you Catechism. Ask your priest questions. Do not be misled or misinformed by opinions. It is not a good way to find out about how God wants you to live.

God bless,
Ed
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I asked my confessor, another priest and an abbot of a monastery! They all said there’s nothing evil about a human body and a woman can go swimming without fear. The abbot (Fr. ‘Paul’) goes to the beach himself a lot, as his monastery is on the seaside. 🤷

These are all European men, again.

Modesty is cultural.

Faith is not.

But the universal faith has different expressions in different countries.
 
As a man, I also agree with this post.

I’m guessing that all the posts are from women because …(1) many women will get extremely angry if a man tells them what they should or shouldn’t wear…and (2) I doubt that any woman is going to change how she dresses just from reading a thread on CAF.

Posting on modesty threads is generally a lose-lose proposition…it’s just not worth the trouble that it causes…
embwt said:
What an interesting thread . . . probably the most interesting part (to me) is that in 5 pages of posts, it’s been all women posting with one (maybe two?) exceptions. So let me give my two cents worth as a man. I make no judgments on what people choose to wear or why. I just give you my thoughts as a man. Take it for what it’s worth.

I thought it was only men who didn’t understand women. This post has shown me that perhaps I was wrong . . . women also don’t understand men. Do men look at women in bathing suits and it triggers sexual thoughts? Yes. And when I say yes, I mean ABSOLUTELY!!! What a man does with this is up to the man. In my younger years, I searched for more. In my return to the Church and to the confessional, I try to distract myself with anything I can. I try to remind myself that yes, she is beautiful . . . a beautiful child of God.

In trying to follow the teachings of the Church, trips to the beach have become VERY difficult for me. Avoiding the near occasion of sin pretty much means avoiding the beach for me.

Do bikinis attract men’s eyes where they shouldn’t be? YES!!! The tops accentuate and say, “Look at these!!” The bottoms, as someone said in an earlier post, are a triangle. YES! Where does that triangle point?

That’s the nature of the suit. And truth be told, it has more to do with the suit and not the body in it. To you women who think you are not the one being looked at in this way because there are younger women with “better” bodies around, think again. The nature of the suit draws attention from men to where it shouldn’t be, regardless of how “unattractive” you may think you are. Your attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder . . . and I can assure you that EVERY SINGLE ONE of you in these bikinis are being looked at in this manner. Without exception.

Does a one piece bathing suit do this for men? Not nearly to the extent a bikini does. Not even close. I was at the beach last weekend and saw a young woman in a one piece suit. It really caught my eye because she was the only one. And I thought, “wow, this is a beautiful girl yet the one piece suit doesn’t draw the same attention from my eye.” I wish more women would start this trend. (And she happened to be Catholic, because I saw her make the sign of the cross!)

To all of you who will say that this is my/other men’s problem, I understand. I try to stay close to the sacraments, particularly confession, and always remember that Jesus said to look at another woman with lust in your eye is to commit adultery. I will continue to try to avert my eyes at the beach. But how many men at the beach will be going to confession afterwards? What do you think the rest are doing with their thoughts?

Something to think about, ladies, the next time you put on your bikini. I hope I don’t offend anyone, just trying to give some truthful, helpful advice. Take it or leave it. At least you know.
Click to expand...
 
Well, as an American man, I see nothing wrong with men and women going to the beach! I can’t wait until our parish’s next beach trip. No, I don’t have a problem with seeing my priest in swimming trunks. 🤷

The point of this thread is that what men and women wear can tempt our brothers and sisters to sin, and willfully disregarding this fact is inconsiderate. There are more modest swimsuit styles than a bikini.

(And no, I am not advocating that anyone wear those Mormon swimsuits!)
Litcrit said:
I asked my confessor, another priest and an abbot of a monastery! They all said there’s nothing evil about a human body and a woman can go swimming without fear. The abbot (Fr. ‘Paul’) goes to the beach himself a lot, as his monastery is on the seaside. 🤷

These are all European men, again.

Modesty is cultural.

Faith is not.

But the universal faith has different expressions in different countries.
Click to expand...
 
ack said:
(And no, I am not advocating that anyone wear those Mormon swimsuits!)
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Lol, they are hideous. There’s modesty, and then there’s androgynous frumpiness that attempts to destroy femininity.
 
ack said:
Well, as an American man, I see nothing wrong with men and women going to the beach! I can’t wait until our parish’s next beach trip. No, I don’t have a problem with seeing my priest in swimming trunks. 🤷

The point of this thread is that what men and women wear can tempt our brothers and sisters to sin, and willfully disregarding this fact is inconsiderate. There are more modest swimsuit styles than a bikini.

(And no, I am not advocating that anyone wear those Mormon swimsuits!)
Click to expand...
Oh, but perhaps I should have added that the vast majority of people here, young and old, wear bikinis (women) and speedos (men) when going to the beach. It’s sort of understood. These priests would have added a ‘but’ to what they were saying if they thought those were wrong.
 
Well, give God the credit, not the blame! Reminds me of a line from a book I read, where a young guy was watching as a very attractive girl dived into a lake. His appreciative thought:
“God is an artist!”
 
KathyA said:
I am relying on my memory here… :confused:

I heard Jason Evert speak once and he explained that the belly button is the “window to the womb”, a most sacred part of a woman’s body, and therefore should be protected. He also drew an analogy between the “veil” that protects the Body of Christ in the tabernacle and clothing as a veil for the belly button.

My apologies to Jason if I butchered what he said. Maybe he’ll pop in an clarify if necessary!

Kathy
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lol! I love to hear Jason Evert! He is a great speaker! I wish he had been around when I needed to hear his talks!
 
It’s hard to find swimwear you can swim in that isn’t just mean.
I think it’s mean to ask anyone to wear something made of fishing line, or spaghetti straps, which feel about the same. I have no qualms about baring most of my arms, most of my legs and some chest (the bone part only), and even a lot of back. (Though that actually feels very weird, to give people I can’t even see a clear shot of skin I never see myself:eek: ).
But I ask designers for some pity! Plase let me wear something swim-safe on my underarms, the majority of my upper shoulders, most of my chest and at least a majority of my back, a good half the thigh and the whole tummy, and don’t design it for a woman with the same midriff as Malibu Barbie, because I’m much taller than that.
Men: I heard what you said, really. But you see, I find it too dangerous to wear something that will drag in the current, so until designers have pity on us, I can’t do anything. And I need to do water exercises for a good reason. Please turn around until a solution comes along. I do wear a tiny middie top over a retro 20’s-30’s type maillot and even close-fitting board shorts when pool rules and laundry status allow it. This is probably up to every standard outside the Mideast, so no worries most of the time. But whent he temperature is over 95 and I’m walking home and I’m already dry and I can feel my skin sizzle, I have to take off all but the maillot sometimes for safety reasons.
 
I’m just sayin’…

How come the Men’s Volleyballers are covered and the Women are in bikinis? If the standard is the same, why aren’t the men spiking in Speedos or the women setting in shorts?

Seems a strange thing…
 
good question, funny…but…did you see the male swimmers this year? Why were* their *suits pulled down so low? (especially Phelps…my dd said to me while we watched one of the meets…mommy, why are the men wearing their swimsuits so low?) Out of the mouths of babes.:o

I actually thought the female swimmers were dressed much more modestly than the men this go 'round.
 
Well, I t hink Phelps just needs to be carefull when he pulls off those shoulder straps - he doesn’t HAVE to pull them off at all, and maybe now that it’s been attracting so much negative feedback he won’t…
 
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