Birth control after fornication

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Why not you and your girlfriend telling each other the real reason you are having sex, i.e., to have a baby, and say to each other, “Let’s work now at conceiving a child to raise together and to love together for the rest of our lives; come on, we can conceive the child right here and now…” Say what you want; don’t just get tricked into reactionary intimacy by bodily sensations.

Attraction, attractiveness, desire, - these are supports to help you have the nerve to approach someone and want to be with them and to work your whole life with them to do a big job together (to raise a family together in love).

Start talking about your goal with her - “We want babies together and to raise them together… Are you with me on this, my Love?”

That kind of “honesty” about your lifetime goals will also move the two of you to investigate marriage very seriously, rather than just being “boyfriend / girlfriend”.
 
Do you believe that Artificial Birth Control is immoral and sinful?
 
Okay, so I am about to be married. My fiancee and I had this same issue. And after one incident (just being back in the church) I was totally afraid I could be pregnant. I had the temptation to Use emergency contraception. The temptation was go use the emergency birth control and start all over with the chastity. But unlike the sin of fornication(which just seemed to happen) this 2nd sin, to fix the 1st sin would be premeditated. Instead he and I both went to confession. The next evening at Mass I said Lord if I am pregnant your will be done. I wasn’t and we had no more issues with purity. Although you really have to put the brakes on making out. Its been 3 yrs and we are to be married this month. Its going to be awesome we are so excited.
Marry the girl.
 
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I have noticed on these Catholic Boards that people have taken to the idea of saying something by not saying something. And it is dishonest. The forums exist to encourage and answer Catholic questions. It is against forum rules to advise against Catholic teaching especially with birth control. You can indeed have your own opinions but then I have to wonder why comment on these threads at all if you don’t agree with the Church and are advising the OP in a sly way. Why not just not participate if you don’t follow the theology and the morality of the teaching on birth control?
 
Then don’t be alone together.
And stop making excuses for sinning.
 
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There is a lot of presumption in your post.

The point of my post was to raise the question of the degree of immorality of deliberately bringing an unwanted child into the world. There is nothing wrong about this question being asked, nor is it non-Catholic. I am sorry you read something into my post which wasn’t there, but that is on you.
 
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You are right, there is nothing wrong with talking about that. But my presumption was indeed true when you admitted you do not find ABC immoral. Therefore your advice and the point of your post is to further your viewpoint which is in opposition to the Church.
 
If the only people who posted advice and opinions here were those who believed in every single Church teaching, it would be slim pickins’ on the forum. The forum is here for discussion. I did nothing wrong.

I stand by my post. It is troubling, the amount of posters here who are focused on the virtue of purity, but don’t really seem to care about the fact that a life can come from a human failure in that realm. I am not saying , that for a Catholic couple, birth control is the solution at all. I am saying the same thing the rest of you are saying. It is serious business. Just as we don’t have a right to take the life of another, sometimes we don’t have a right to create one, either.
 
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I suppose I would just appreciate a more honest upfront answer. On a thread with someone discussing premarital sex and birth control and advice, it would be nice if they knew upfront if the advice they were getting was in line with the Church. Or if it was being offered outside of a Catholic opinion.

You think it not immoral for the OP to use ABC. So that is a very open and straightforward answer to the OP’s question. It doesn’t even really have to do with which one is more immoral or an unwanted child at all if you don’t think one is indeed immoral. How does this help the OP to make a moral decision in a Catholic way?
 
Qwerty girl is comparing sins but avoiding the real question at hand. Is it okay having committing a sin (unpremeditated) in a moment of weakness to then go on and commit another sin with premeditation so as to mitigate the consequences of the first sin. Absolutely not okay and really the second sin could be worse than the first. As for an unwanted child…saying its a sin to bring into the world an unwanted child is lazy. I imagine if a child results from M’s moment of weakness he should remember that God works all things to the good of those who love him.
 
You are wrong. My advice was to make sure you don’t commit the immoral act of bringing an unwanted child into the world.

How one achieves that is a personal decision. I would assume a Catholic couple would achieve that by not having sex. But that is for them to figure out.

I think I will bow out now. You don’t seem to want to understand, and you are far too willing to assume bad intent on the part of me and posters like me. I am really sorry you feel that way. Good night.
 
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Then your advice should be to follow Church teaching on being chaste before marriage and your opposition to the immorality of ABC would not even need to be discussed. Your view should be bringing an unwanted child into the world is immoral, so don’t do it.
 
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Not always that cut and dry. The Church requires a period of discernment and catechesis. Beyond that, a devout Catholic married couple won’t necessary find that marriage is a sexual free for all… abstinence will still be called for at times.
 
QwertyGirl said:
I believe bringing an unwanted baby into the world is more immoral than using birth control.
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You might be trying to make a point that the poster does not want a baby so he should not be taking on the risk of getting the girlfriend pregnant. Is that what you meant? Also, being a man, he would not be the one to carry the baby to term and deliver, and have risk to school, job, health etc. I’m guessing here what you meant. You didn’t actually say that but I’m reading into it. What a heavy burden to place on someone else’s shoulders.
 
QwertyGirl said:
It is troubling, the amount of posters here who are focused on the virtue of purity, but don’t really seem to care about the fact that a life can come from a human failure in that realm.
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That’s rather presumptuous. Plenty of posters addressed the issue of having a baby when they weren’t married. Chastity not only pleases God but is the most effective means of preventing just such a situation. Anyone can do it, many choose not to.
 
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