Birth control pills and marriage

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hemulen

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I use birth control pills so that I can maintain a normal life and a sane mind. When I’m not using them I can get depressed, angry and my reasoning is impaired. Since I have no reason to use the pills as contraceptives (not sexually active), I figure that it’s ok to take them.

But what if I get married? What do I do?

If I continue to use them, it’s a sin because they can cause fertilized eggs to be rejected. If I stop taking them, I become unbearable to live with some of the time and more prone to committing stupid (or sinful) actions. If I don’t have sex with my husband, it’s a sin and a difficult situation to live in for the both of us.
 
hemulen said:
I use birth control pills so that I can maintain a normal life and a sane mind. When I’m not using them I can get depressed, angry and my reasoning is impaired. Since I have no reason to use the pills as contraceptives (not sexually active), I figure that it’s ok to take them.

But what if I get married? What do I do?

If I continue to use them, it’s a sin because they can cause fertilized eggs to be rejected. If I stop taking them, I become unbearable to live with some of the time and more prone to committing stupid (or sinful) actions. If I don’t have sex with my husband, it’s a sin and a difficult situation to live in for the both of us.
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This is something that you should speak to a professional Counsellor about…
I could give advise but people may not agree with what I say…
God Bless
 
I would cross that bridge when you come to it–and then, under the guidance of your spiritual director and/or priest, and a doctor or professional counselor/therapist. 🙂
 
Phil_Marinus said:
This is something that you should speak to a professional Counsellor about…
I could give advise but people may not agree with what I say…
God Bless
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I will, if I’m ever in that situation. However, I would feel stupid to ask the priest about this when I don’t even have a boyfriend. But I like to have a plan and I often worry about the future and solve problems that is not relevant for many years. Like what to do with my dog when I work nightshifts as an intern (6 years from now).

I would love to hear your opinion, even if I would not agree with or like it.
 
It is terrific when people plan ahead! Even to discuss unlikely scenarios does not mean that you expect that to happen right away. It can be a mind broadening experience.

If that actually does happen you will need to consult with real professionals, and of course talk about it with your fiancee well ahead of actual need. Like even before you get engaged. If you just want inexpert opinions, you have come to the right place, but do not think that the conversation here is any more than it is.

If you want my opinion, you would need to say more about why birth control pills help keep you sane. I have never heard of them being used that way.
 
hemulen said:
I use birth control pills so that I can maintain a normal life and a sane mind. When I’m not using them I can get depressed, angry and my reasoning is impaired. Since I have no reason to use the pills as contraceptives (not sexually active), I figure that it’s ok to take them.

But what if I get married? What do I do?

If I continue to use them, it’s a sin because they can cause fertilized eggs to be rejected. If I stop taking them, I become unbearable to live with some of the time and more prone to committing stupid (or sinful) actions. If I don’t have sex with my husband, it’s a sin and a difficult situation to live in for the both of us.
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You could think about delaying dealing with the situation until it comes. Because when it does, you will have a spouse to help you make the decision together. Hopefully, at that time, you can find a Catholic pro-life doctor to discuss options. God’s blessings!
 
hemulen said:
I will, if I’m ever in that situation. However, I would feel stupid to ask the priest about this when I don’t even have a boyfriend. But I like to have a plan and I often worry about the future and solve problems that is not relevant for many years. Like what to do with my dog when I work nightshifts as an intern (6 years from now).

I would love to hear your opinion, even if I would not agree with or like it.
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What kind of sinful actions ? Do you take them for hormonal reasons? ( I’m not a doctor)
I Would’nt talk to a priest about it either, A doctor would be better.
Why do you worry about the Future…?
How old are you?
You will love night shift… Especially 12 hour nights… 6 in a row…
welcome to zombie land then…lol.:D:D:D
 
hemulen said:
I use birth control pills so that I can maintain a normal life and a sane mind. When I’m not using them I can get depressed, angry and my reasoning is impaired. Since I have no reason to use the pills as contraceptives (not sexually active), I figure that it’s ok to take them.

But what if I get married? What do I do?

If I continue to use them, it’s a sin because they can cause fertilized eggs to be rejected. If I stop taking them, I become unbearable to live with some of the time and more prone to committing stupid (or sinful) actions. If I don’t have sex with my husband, it’s a sin and a difficult situation to live in for the both of us.
Click to expand...
The older people used to tell me If you want to make God laugh make plans. Live in the present. Yes think about the future but do not live there now because no one is gaurenteed tomorrow. Cross that bridge when you get there! God Bless!
 
hemulen said:
I use birth control pills so that I can maintain a normal life and a sane mind. When I’m not using them I can get depressed, angry and my reasoning is impaired. Since I have no reason to use the pills as contraceptives (not sexually active), I figure that it’s ok to take them.

But what if I get married? What do I do?

If I continue to use them, it’s a sin because they can cause fertilized eggs to be rejected. If I stop taking them, I become unbearable to live with some of the time and more prone to committing stupid (or sinful) actions. If I don’t have sex with my husband, it’s a sin and a difficult situation to live in for the both of us.
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It sounds like your doctor prescribed birth control pills for an off label use. Was the doctor that prescribed the pills trained in mental health issues? I mean that purely as a rhetorical question - don’t answer. 🙂 But if you are seeking treatment for depression and/or other emotional problems, make sure that you are getting advice from the right type of doctor. While you are at it, speak to the doctor about your desire to get married and have a family. Long term contraceptive use can affect fertility so any treatment that you might need for an extended period should be advised with that in mind.
 
I might suggest contacting the National Catholic Bioethics Center to investigate alternative treatment options. I’m not saying this is what’s happening in your case, because I don’t know your case and I’m not a doctor, but a lot of times doctors prescribe birth control pills because they mask symptoms of an underlying problem, and it’s easier to do that than to investigate the actual cause.
 
There are a LOT of Catholics who are on the pill. I used to be (and for contraceptive reasons) until I had tubal ligation after my last child. Not all Catholics find it sinful to be on them.
 
I have a lot of friends who will face this problem, but basically here’s my two cents:
  1. I read that medication that is used for hormone regulation and not for the contraceptive effect is not violating the Church’s rules on BC. However, hormonal contraceptives are abortifacient so it would probably be in your best interest to abstain on fertile days. Contact a Canon Law lawyer or Natural Family Planning person when the time comes.
  2. Birth control can be dangerous and acts as a symptom Band Aid instead of treating the source of the problem. It’s been linked to breast cancer. There are some cool new methods such as NaPro. 🙂
 
Chizzywinks said:
There are a LOT of Catholics who are on the pill. I used to be (and for contraceptive reasons) until I had tubal ligation after my last child. Not all Catholics find it sinful to be on them.
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Just to be clear, the use of the pill for non-contraceptive treatment of some disoder is not sinful. The use of the Pill (or sterilization) for contraception is always sinful, regardless of what some Catholic might “find”. What matters is what the Church teaches, not what others may or may not be doing.
 
hemulen said:
I use birth control pills so that I can maintain a normal life and a sane mind. When I’m not using them I can get depressed, angry and my reasoning is impaired. Since I have no reason to use the pills as contraceptives (not sexually active), I figure that it’s ok to take them.

But what if I get married? What do I do?

If I continue to use them, it’s a sin because they can cause fertilized eggs to be rejected. If I stop taking them, I become unbearable to live with some of the time and more prone to committing stupid (or sinful) actions. If I don’t have sex with my husband, it’s a sin and a difficult situation to live in for the both of us.
Click to expand...
I would talk to my doctor. Find out what is really wrong. What makes you depressed and angry; and how to fix it. I can’t believe that your doctor plans on you being on birth control pills for the rest of your life.

If your current doctor doesn’t have any plans to ever take you off of the pill, I would find another doctor.

Generally there is not problem with taking birth control pills for medical reasons. Personally, I would make sure there isn’t another option, but that is me.
Chizzywinks said:
There are a LOT of Catholics who are on the pill. I used to be (and for contraceptive reasons) until I had tubal ligation after my last child. Not all Catholics find it sinful to be on them.
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A lot of people sinning doesn’t make it right. :rolleyes:
 
hemulen said:
I use birth control pills so that I can maintain a normal life and a sane mind. When I’m not using them I can get depressed, angry and my reasoning is impaired. Since I have no reason to use the pills as contraceptives (not sexually active), I figure that it’s ok to take them.

But what if I get married? What do I do?

If I continue to use them, it’s a sin because they can cause fertilized eggs to be rejected. If I stop taking them, I become unbearable to live with some of the time and more prone to committing stupid (or sinful) actions. If I don’t have sex with my husband, it’s a sin and a difficult situation to live in for the both of us.
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One reason it is wrong to use them in your case is that you are giving material cooperation to the industry. If you are depressed you should see a medical doctor or a phychiatrist and see if there is something biologically or emotionally wrong. It is not at all normal that you cannot function normally without using these pills.

Secondly, the biological side effects of using these strong medicines are very dangerous. Stop and think about it. Doesn’t it stand to reason that a medicine that can interrupt a woman’s normal cycle or even destroy an embryo or prevent implantation would be a very strong poison with very harmful side effects?

If you marry be sure to tell your fiance’ before hand that you will not use any form of contraceptive. If he doesn’t think he can observe continence from time to time don’t marry him, he is a moral dud. But nothing ever justifies using them to keep from having children. Ever!!! Linus2nd
 
RSD said:
It is terrific when people plan ahead! Even to discuss unlikely scenarios does not mean that you expect that to happen right away. It can be a mind broadening experience.

If that actually does happen you will need to consult with real professionals, and of course talk about it with your fiancee well ahead of actual need. Like even before you get engaged. If you just want inexpert opinions, you have come to the right place, but do not think that the conversation here is any more than it is.

If you want my opinion, you would need to say more about why birth control pills help keep you sane. I have never heard of them being used that way.
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Of course I will discuss it with my potential husbands. Maybe not on the first date, though 😛

The condition is called PMDD and I see that it has been discussed here many times before. Basically it’s like PMS, but it’s more severe. When I’m not on the pill I feel like I’m bipolar. When I’m on the pill, my mood flatlines.
Suslar said:
You could think about delaying dealing with the situation until it comes. Because when it does, you will have a spouse to help you make the decision together. Hopefully, at that time, you can find a Catholic pro-life doctor to discuss options. God’s blessings!
Click to expand...
Hopefully, at that time, I am (or on my way to becoming) a Catholic pro-life doctor 😉
Phil_Marinus said:
What kind of sinful actions ? Do you take them for hormonal reasons? ( I’m not a doctor)
I Would’nt talk to a priest about it either, A doctor would be better.
Why do you worry about the Future…?
How old are you?
You will love night shift… Especially 12 hour nights… 6 in a row…
welcome to zombie land then…lol.:D:D:D
Click to expand...
😃

You can read the symptoms of PMDD on Wikipedia. From many of the symptoms you can imagine what sins are easy to commit when you’re in that state.

I don’t know why I worry about the future. I have been this way as long as I can remember. There has to be a plan and all possible obstacles has to be solved before I do anything.

I am an adult.
Southern said:
The older people used to tell me If you want to make God laugh make plans. Live in the present. Yes think about the future but do not live there now because no one is gaurenteed tomorrow. Cross that bridge when you get there! God Bless!
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That’s true, but I can’t help it. I’m just wired this way.
 
Linusthe2nd said:
Secondly, the biological side effects of using these strong medicines are very dangerous. Stop and think about it. Doesn’t it stand to reason that a medicine that can interrupt a woman’s normal cycle or even destroy an embryo or prevent implantation would be a very strong poison with very harmful side effects?

Linus2nd
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Kind of a specious argument. There are a lot of medications that have side effects, some of which can be very serious. Chemotherarpy causes all kinds of side effects…does that mean we should stop using it for cancer patients? If you want to make the argument that you don’t think a person should be on the pill for moral reasons, that’s fine. But saying that you shouldn’t take it because there are side effects suggests that many life-saving drugs shouldn’t be on the market, just because they have side effects.
 
hemulen said:
I use birth control pills so that I can maintain a normal life and a sane mind. When I’m not using them I can get depressed, angry and my reasoning is impaired. Since I have no reason to use the pills as contraceptives (not sexually active), I figure that it’s ok to take them.

But what if I get married? What do I do?

If I continue to use them, it’s a sin because they can cause fertilized eggs to be rejected. If I stop taking them, I become unbearable to live with some of the time and more prone to committing stupid (or sinful) actions. If I don’t have sex with my husband, it’s a sin and a difficult situation to live in for the both of us.
Click to expand...
Hormonal treatments are perfectly acceptable, even if they have an unintended effect on fertility. But as others have addressed, using the pill to treat psychological/mental-health concerns seems strange, so you should discuss this further with your doctor and perhaps seek a second opinion.

If you get married…there are differing opinions here. Theologians may disagree on this, but the Church does not require a couple to abstain in such a situation:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=4618

So, a woman who is taking hormonal treatments (eg the Pill) that have unintended bad effects on fertility are not obligated per se to abstain from sex with their husband. You do need to make sure that you weigh the proportionality of the good effect of treatment with any potential bad effect. This is a complex task for any couple to work through, based on sound medical advice and understanding of the moral issues.
 
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