Blah! Blah! Blah! ... All the talking during Mass

[Apryl]

But there are times when I am just as guilty of doing it.

Well, yeah… but… see

Seriously: I do find myself sometimes chattering… usually, it’s during the Offertory (when the choir is singing), but I shouldn’t be doing it then, either.

Still, this isn’t about me and what I am doing. I’m griping about others. And I don’t want to change churches. I would rather the ones who are there just get straightened out.

 

[Apryl]

As someone who travels a lot, I see many different parishes, traditional and liberal. The few times I have been interrrupted at Mass by a chatty parishioner, I just say, “I really need to pray right now. Can we talk later?” I’ve never gotten a negative response to this approach.
I usually kneel and pray the Chaplet of Mercy before Mass, and yes, there are lots of conversations going on all around me. When it gets too noisy for me to concentrate, I just start saying the chaplet out loud. This usually startles the chatterers and quiets down the people who didn’t realize anyone was actually praying before Mass It’s much more effective than saying “shhhh” and it lets you lead by example.

Sadly, I have tried that.

I used to say the Rosary before Mass.

I would shush people who were nearby. I asked the ushers if they could just encourage people to not sit right behind me (and the others) who were praying. I bought ear plugs so that the talking wouldn’t bother me. While doing the Rosary, when the others were responding, I would look at the culprit and put a finger to my lips. I tried praying louder to try to drown them out, to have them talk louder to drown me out. I have gone to the drummer for the choir and left a note on his drum (he liked to set his drums up while I was praying).

We changed our Mass times, so I’m not doing the Rosary in church before Mass. I had someone else complain about the talk before Mass. Hmmm:shrug:

 

[elts1956]

Tell that to the 3 year old a few pews in front that was trying to play peek-a-boo with me during a TLM. (Granted, he wasn’t talking…)

What amazes me, is not only the fact of blah, blah, blah, but who is doing it. In the Church I attend, the last two rows of the Church, where mostly older folks are sitting, ie. past 60 or 70, there is a constant chatter before Mass. “Hey, how ya doin”? “My son/daughter…blah, blah, blah”. There was an instance of a mother and teen daughter who were sitting behind me chattering away, before and during Mass. That time, I got so aggravated, I did turn around and ask them if they knew where they were. Then I felt so bad, I apologized after Mass. But they didn’t jabber during the Mass any longer. npatrol:

 

[Timothy17]

The idle yapping before and after Mass most certainly desacralizes the event. It annoys me to no end that our resident nun, who dresses like a commoner, actively engages in and encourages it. Imagine people standing or sitting around chit-chatting while Our Lord is (was) being ushered to His Cross, or - after witnessing the spectacle of His crucifixion - engaging in it shortly thereafter. It reduces the event to the trivial, like a left-on television program in the background of a conversation.

"Be silent, and know that I am God,"should perhaps be written over every entrance to the Church.

Pax,
Tim

 

[faithfully]

I realize that talking and chatting prior to Mass doesn’t create the most reverant of environments.

However, I find that the failthful are under attack. And that perhaps if the chatting creates a COMMUNITY, we can make strides towards withstanding these attacks.

The Mass, to the best of my understanding is a CELEBRATION… it’s not a funeral. And although I think most with any sense of respect in them would stand in horror at actually watching Christ being crucified… It’s NOT the same thing.

I do think a tactic of evil is to DIVIDE and conquer. I can aboslutely appreciate the desire for a very sacred environment. I go to Church in the OFF times to just sit in peace and pray. WHILE my CHILDREN are in school. As I too find it hard to focus witht those litter chatter boxes. We should be careful not to exclude each other do to lack of equaled behaviors in Mass. Doing so seems to assist with concquering the faithful…

I think the most important point is people ARE IN FACT going to church. Again, realizing that we all have a desired environment. We should feel blessed that we do not stand alone in that place of worship. We are blessed with many brothers and sisters… (which of course, by some physcological tradition manage to irritate us to no end!)

 

[JReducation]

We are blessed with many brothers and sisters… (which of course, by some physcological tradition manage to irritate us to no end!)

This is a very logical statement. I too prefer the quiet. That’s why I prefer the chapels of religious houses. I think that just like the EF chapels and churches, the chapels of religious houses are host to people of like mind. The macro parish is not.

In every family, there are going to be people of different mindsets and some are going to get under our skin. Some get under our skins, because we’re different from each other. Others get under our skin, because they truly do things that are wrong. Both come with community living.

During my first-year in formation I lived in a house of 125 men. Trust me, it’s a test of patience. The larger the community, the more diverse the individuals are. It does not make certain behaviors right. But if we understand the reason for the behaviors, we can often just roll our eyes and keep trucking forward.

The very desire to pray, is already the beginning of prayer. So don’t let yourselves be saddened. Prayer often happens when we’re not even paying attention. The soul and God can and do encounter each other in the desire to pray. And in that sacred space where they encounter each other, life calls unto life.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Well, yeah… but… see

Seriously: I do find myself sometimes chattering… usually, it’s during the Offertory (when the choir is singing), but I shouldn’t be doing it then, either.

***Still, this isn’t about me and what I am doing. I’m griping about others. And I don’t want to change churches. I would rather the ones who are there just get straightened out. ***

RE: the highlited portion-
Sorry, but this is about you!
While not condoning any of the behavior that you appear to be witnessing,
the way I see it (and I have had the same troubles at times), the only person that you can change is yourself, as spending time trying to change others will only make you miserable.
I know from experience that it is not that easy. I think that I '“get it” and want others to get it too! And when they don’t seem to, I can get quite agitated. My spiritual director, at a time when I was complaining about these very same things, had me read the Gospel of Mark. Even Jesus had problems with His disciples not “getting it”, so what makes any of us think that everyone in church today does?
His advice to me, pray the serenity prayer- "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I pray for that wisdom daily, and I will pray that you will be graced with that wisdom also.

 

[jeanannemarie]

All chatting aside, adults should know when to behave with dignity and good manners. I just don’t see much excuse for inconsiderate behavior (idle chatting before Mass when many are praying.) I knew you would all want my valuable opinion!

 

[LoyalViews]

Is there anything in the TLM that prevents people from talking?

And people don’t go to the TLM “just to go to Mass” like some (very very few) go to the OF just for the sake of going to Mass. Though, it is also the custom to remain silent during the OF as well.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

I have three words for you:

T. L. M.

That’s three letters.

 

[jj_nycguy]

The Mass, to the best of my understanding is a CELEBRATION… it’s not a funeral. And although I think most with any sense of respect in them would stand in horror at actually watching Christ being crucified… It’s NOT the same thing.

The Most Holy Mass is the un-bloody sacrifice of Calvary, not a celebration. Once this is understood, reverence will start to become the norm. A celebration is defined as a joyful occasion for special festivities to mark a happy event. A sacrifice is an act of offering to God something precious.

 

[elts1956]

I realize that talking and chatting prior to Mass doesn’t create the most reverant of environments.

However, I find that the failthful are under attack. And that perhaps if the chatting creates a COMMUNITY, we can make strides towards withstanding these attacks.

The Mass, to the best of my understanding is a CELEBRATION… it’s not a funeral. And although I think most with any sense of respect in them would stand in horror at actually watching Christ being crucified… It’s NOT the same thing.

I do think a tactic of evil is to DIVIDE and conquer. I can aboslutely appreciate the desire for a very sacred environment. I go to Church in the OFF times to just sit in peace and pray. WHILE my CHILDREN are in school. As I too find it hard to focus witht those litter chatter boxes. We should be careful not to exclude each other do to lack of equaled behaviors in Mass. Doing so seems to assist with concquering the faithful…

I think the most important point is people ARE IN FACT going to church. Again, realizing that we all have a desired environment. We should feel blessed that we do not stand alone in that place of worship. We are blessed with many brothers and sisters… (which of course, by some physcological tradition manage to irritate us to no end!)

Looks as though you have the “community” “meal” fever. Yes Mass is a Celebration. A celebration of the SACRIFICE of the Mass wherein the host becomes the body and blood of Our Saviour who SACRIFICED his life so we may receive graces and perhaps have a chance of seeing Him in Heaven.

The Mass is NOT a meal. Community is not the focus, or shouldn’t be. The focus is Christ in the Eucharist, no one else. If you want community, you need to find a comfortable Protestant Church which is what more Catholic parishes than not have become. And by the way, Church attendence is dropping off. Wish I had the source I just read proving that, but I don’t remember where I say it. Sorry.

As for talking in church, I always wonder who people think they are leaving behind as they turn their backs to the Altar and walk out blah, blah, blahing away.

 

[elts1956]

I realize that talking and chatting prior to Mass doesn’t create the most reverant of environments.

However, I find that the failthful are under attack. And that perhaps if the chatting creates a COMMUNITY, we can make strides towards withstanding these attacks.

The Mass, to the best of my understanding is a CELEBRATION… it’s not a funeral. And although I think most with any sense of respect in them would stand in horror at actually watching Christ being crucified… It’s NOT the same thing.

I do think a tactic of evil is to DIVIDE and conquer. I can aboslutely appreciate the desire for a very sacred environment. I go to Church in the OFF times to just sit in peace and pray. WHILE my CHILDREN are in school. As I too find it hard to focus witht those litter chatter boxes. We should be careful not to exclude each other do to lack of equaled behaviors in Mass. Doing so seems to assist with concquering the faithful…

I think the most important point is people ARE IN FACT going to church. Again, realizing that we all have a desired environment. We should feel blessed that we do not stand alone in that place of worship. We are blessed with many brothers and sisters… (which of course, by some physcological tradition manage to irritate us to no end!)

The Most Holy Mass is the un-bloody sacrifice of Calvary, not a celebration. Once this is understood, reverence will start to become the norm. A celebration is defined as a joyful occasion for special festivities to mark a happy event. A sacrifice is an act of offering to God something precious.

 

[Shin]

I have three words for you:

T. L. M.

Lex orandi, lex credendi.

‘When you are before the altar where Christ reposes, you ought no longer to think that you are amongst men; but believe that there are troops of angels and archangels standing by you, and trembling with respect before the sovereign Master of Heaven and earth. Therefore, when you are in church, be there in silence, fear, and veneration.’

St. John Chrysostom

‘Perfect silence alone proclaims Him, and total and transcendent unknowing brings us into His presence.’

St. Maximos the Confessor

‘The Father spoke one Word, which was His Son, and this Word He speaks always in eternal silence, and in silence must it be heard by the soul.’

St. John of the Cross

‘In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.’

John 1:1

 

[faithfully]

The Most Holy Mass is the un-bloody sacrifice of Calvary, not a celebration. Once this is understood, reverence will start to become the norm. A celebration is defined as a joyful occasion for special festivities to mark a happy event. A sacrifice is an act of offering to God something precious.

I like the way it was summed up on another site: in the Mass – the celebration of the Eucharist. We’re not merely “putting in our time” each Sunday, but we are becoming one in Christ with a billion other Catholics.

Looks as though you have the “community” “meal” fever. This is RUDE. You know nothing of me or my Catholic practice. Yes Mass is a Celebration. A celebration of the SACRIFICE of the Mass wherein the host becomes the body and blood of Our Saviour who SACRIFICED his life so we may receive graces and perhaps have a chance of seeing Him in Heaven. Gee, thanks for the explanation… Without that, I would have thought I was there for a party.

The Mass is NOT a meal. I said that where? I’m married to a chef… You’ve got NO ARGUMENT from me Community is not the focus, or shouldn’t be. I agree that community is NOT the focus of the Mass. But it should be a focus of the congregation. If you prefer to always worship in isolation that’s fine. Many of us actually enjoy the company of others with like minds. These relationships often start at church. The focus is Christ in the Eucharist, no one else. If you want community, you need to find a comfortable Protestant Church which is what more Catholic parishes than not have become. Really??? You suggest I turn away from the Catholic Faith, because you completely misunderstand the point I’m making. Don’t like the point you created in your head, and then suggest I go to another church? One that is not the true church? Anything else you say here, is a waste of my time. You care nothing for others. Just yourself… clearly! To suggest such a thing… my skin crawls just reading what you wrote. And by the way, Church attendence is dropping off. Wish I had the source I just read proving that, but I don’t remember where I say it. Sorry. Perhaps because a weaker individual takes your previous suggestion to heart. Shame on you. If people aren’t made to feel welcome, they will go elsewhere. I know plenty that have done it. It’s a sad thing. They actually think the hatred that spews from others are the actually teachings of the Church.

As for talking in church, I always wonder who people think they are leaving behind as they turn their backs to the Altar and walk out blah, blah, blahing away.While I agree that some of the behavior I’ve seen in church earns a sideways glance, I leave it to the priests to correct. If something is terribly off and he doesn’t seem to notice, I’d say something. However, I’m way too involved in my own prayers to wonder what others might be thinking.

Perhaps I can make myself more clear. If you’re open to it. Perhaps you just want to be right.

The Catholic Church is under attack. It always has been, and it always will be. And by your own admission, the faithful are dropping like flies. The best tactic to destroy a group is to divide the group. Don’t aid these attacks.

If your community is failing in an appropriate style of worship, don’t sit back and complain. GET OFF YOUR KNEES, and do something about it. Go to your priest, express your concerns and desires for a more spiritual experience. Get on the appropriate committees to help in the obvious education your parish needs. Don’t just sit here creating a 100 page thread about how hard it is for you to concentrate. DO SOMETHING! Many of you make it sound as you’re the only ones with the knowledge to correct the situation. But you’re sitting on it. You wonder what others are thinking? Ask them! Perhaps they just don’t know better. It’s quite clear that many were not raised in the Catholic church properly. They don’t know what they don’t know. But many of you do. And yet you sit and complain…

At this juncture, a handful here sound like a bunch of pompus whiners that expect others to do for them… tell me you are all on a committee at your church making a difference… I know I just served a year on the board at my last church of attendance. What did you do?

 

[jj_nycguy]

I like the way it was summed up on another site: in the Mass – the celebration of the Eucharist. We’re not merely “putting in our time” each Sunday, but we are becoming one in Christ with a billion other Catholics.

Perhaps I can make myself more clear. If you’re open to it. Perhaps you just want to be right.

The Catholic Church is under attack. It always has been, and it always will be. And by your own admission, the faithful are dropping like flies. The best tactic to destroy a group is to divide the group. Don’t aid these attacks.

If your community is failing in an appropriate style of worship, don’t sit back and complain. GET OFF YOUR KNEES, and do something about it. Go to your priest, express your concerns and desires for a more spiritual experience. Get on the appropriate committees to help in the obvious education your parish needs. Don’t just sit here creating a 100 page thread about how hard it is for you to concentrate. DO SOMETHING! Many of you make it sound as you’re the only ones with the knowledge to correct the situation. But you’re sitting on it. You wonder what others are thinking? Ask them! Perhaps they just don’t know better. It’s quite clear that many were not raised in the Catholic church properly. They don’t know what they don’t know. But many of you do. And yet you sit and complain…

At this juncture, a handful here sound like a bunch of pompus whiners that expect others to do for them… tell me you are all on a committee at your church making a difference… I know I just served a year on the board at my last church of attendance. What did you do?

My friend, I agree that, collectively, we need to do something to correct these problems/attacks and my approach is slightly different to what you are suggesting. My approach is to remain on my knees and pray the Rosary. Through daily recitation and confidence in Our Lady, the Church will be reformed. My hope is that all Catholics will turn to the Rosary. Prayer is more powerful than joining committees… prayer can and has changed the world.

 

[ConstantineTG]

And people don’t go to the TLM “just to go to Mass” like some (very very few) go to the OF just for the sake of going to Mass. Though, it is also the custom to remain silent during the OF as well.

Right. Being in any Liturgy we should show the proper respect. There’s nothing magical in the TLM that would prevent the people to be chatty as in the OF. Its just that these chatty people aren’t really the type to seek the TLM.

 

[pnewton]

The Most Holy Mass is the un-bloody sacrifice of Calvary, not a celebration.

From the top of the General Instruction of the Roman Missal:

**

**
CHAPTER I
THE IMPORTANCE AND DIGNITY OF THE EUCHARISTIC CELEBRATION

---

and

Before, however, proceeding to new adaptations, especially those more thoroughgoing,
great care should be taken to promote the proper instruction of clergy and faithful in a wise andorderly fashion, so as to take advantage of the faculties already foreseen and to implement fully the pastoral norms concerning the spirit of a celebration.

Mass is a celebration.

 

[faithfully]

My friend, I agree that, collectively, we need to do something to correct these problems/attacks and my approach is slightly different to what you are suggesting. My approach is to remain on my knees and pray the Rosary. Through daily recitation and confidence in Our Lady, the Church will be reformed. My hope is that all Catholics will turn to the Rosary. Prayer is more powerful than joining committees… prayer can and has changed the world.

Which is perfectly acceptable. Leading by example is always a valuable tool. And I agree. The The Rosary, as Padre Pio referred to is, is a MIGHTY WEAPON against the ails of the world.

And as long as you don’t complain that no one has taken your silent cue, that’s fine.

My suggestion is an active as opposed to a passive approach to improve the situation in our Church. So that ultimately, everyone can enter Mass, and have the most spritual experience possible. To improve the reverance and such, is when you’re done with your Rosary… get involved. I really don’t see this as an either or situation.

I’m reminded of a joke… A man was out fishing. An extreme cloud cover came over. And thunder and lightening out of the blue. Many people rushed for cover. “Come with us to safety! They shouted.” His reply “The Lord will take care of me.”. About a half hour later, the water was rising, the fisherman was up to his knees, a boat came by. “Get in the boat, we’ll take you to safety”… His reply: “The Lord will save me!”… Another half hour went by. The water was raging. The fisherman was up to his chest. A helicopter came by. He heard from a loud speaker. “Grab the ladder, we will take you to safety.”… His reply. “the Lord will save me.” Again, waving them on.

Within minutes the fisherman could not withstand the force of the water. He drown.

Upon entrance to heaven he questioned the Lord. “I had faith in you. But you did not save me.”

The Lord replied… I sent people on the ground to help you. I sent a boat to rescue you, and I sent a helicopter. What more did you want?"

Moral: Having faith and praying to God. giving thanks and praise is of utmost importance. It IS our #1 job! Asking Mary to intercede on our behalf. Wonderful. There is no one more qualified to do so… Waiting for a miracle, and DOING nothing… It doesn’t make sense. How do you know you aren’t the person to start the ball rolling. With your prayers AND action. But I accept your freedome to approach this problem as you see fit. I guess then I’ll ask that you pray for people like me. I’m a doer. I want to make my church the most amazing place to go. But it’s hard. So few people want to help. I can only do so much, as I have to take care of my small children as well. Pray for the doers in your church. Identify them, and pray for them specifically, they will be guided to create a very spiritual environment. Pray that someone has a gift in writing, and volunteers to write a reminder section in the bulleton. That doesn’t come off as elitist, but ever caring about all the souls in the congregation. This year is a PERFECT year to refresh the memories of those that have forgetton their reverence. We will be changing the Mass starting Advent 2011. I would hope that all churches take this next 12 months as the opportunity to make major changes.

The church I attend now, is the largest I’ve ever been to. I’m in awe at how many people are in there every Sunday Morning. And when they annoucement came out they were having their volunteer fair… It was stated that it takes some 200 volunteers to make sure that Mass went off without a hitch. That’s amazing to me. That there are 200 people making it all happen. The last church I went to: The congragation was smaller for sure. But it was ALWAYS the same 15 people doing what they could. I just don’t see room for the other 300 or so members to complain about how Mass is going. If they don’t like, they need to stand up to the plate.

I think we can agree that we have similar spiritual desires… May God bless you and yours!!!

 

[JustaServant]

Yes, this is another thread about those things which wouldn’t bother me if I was concentrating on what I’m supposed to be concentrating on…

… but I’ve found I can’t concentrate on those things because of the distractions.

I realize that this (the USA) is a ‘free country’ and all that, and I understand that ‘people will do what they want’, but the Mass is only a short time (45 minutes to an hour) to start off the week, and it’s the time when we are preparing for the reception of, and the reception of the Eucharist.

I can’t find a place in the church where I can sit and not be disturbed by the chattering around me. If the people aren’t talking about the world outside (which I think can wait until after Mass), they are talking with the priest… so I get this pseudo re-verb when he does the Eucharistic Prayers.

When it’s time for the Lamb of God, the conversations are more intense because of the rush to say what they want before Communion starts. Thank Goodness more are limiting their conversations once we are kneeling.

Then, people receive communion only to return to their seats and have another chatter conversation.

Lord, forbid if I choose to sit in the first row, I have people to stand over me, or touch me, to get my attention because of something they want to say when Mass is over.

Now, I realize that if I were as grounded as so many others, these things wouldn’t bother me. It is my shortcoming that I would like to be able to go to Mass for tranquility and for comfort and for a way to commune with God and have a prayerful time to talk with God. I guess I should apologize for that.

Until I get to that point, what do I do? How do I address it? What can be done to encourage more people to cut their chattering and talking down, esp during the time of the Eucharist?

It is very annoying, but it does depend on the parish. In one parish near me (which might as well hang Episcopal on the door), they never shut up and its almost impossible to pray as one enters the Church. The other in town, is far more quiet, although you still here the occasional conversation going on.
Some of it I suppose is how much tolerance you have. Or how much you can block out. THAT depends on the temperment of the person.