Blah! Blah! Blah! ... All the talking during Mass

[Crumpy]

Years ago, one Sunday, I got to church a bit early. There were two ladies behind me gabbing away in a loud whisper. I heard this go on for a while, then I turned around and used my hands to gesture about the noise and distraction from these ladies.

Well, I was the irreverent one at that point, I guess, to judge by the dirty looks I got.

I wonder why these people come to church, in the first place. Which is the same question I have about people who come to church when they are sick, coughing continually, etc.

Seriously. Why do these people come to church?

I’m sure there’s every type of problem at the Vatican.

 

[spunjalebi]

Okay the gabbing in loud whisper isn’t appropriate, that’s true. But you can’t make someone stay home just because they’re coughing. That’s like telling me every time I have an asthma exacerbation or bronchitis that I’m not allowed to go to church and am therefore disrespecting the reverence of the Mass. I’m sure people back in Jesus’ time got sick:shrug:

Or one could politely offer a cough drop and some Buckley’s cough syrup. Trust me it’s not enjoyable to have sneezing and coughing attacks, and when children and babies get sick there’s not much you can do about it either.

 

[JustaServant]

Babies are supposed to make noise. If your baby does not make noise, he may be deaf or asleep. Either that or you’re the most interesting person in the world.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

Years ago I heard a Baptist minister say “I haven’t seen a baby yet I couldn’t out preach”.

 

[Joannm]

Years ago, one Sunday, I got to church a bit early. There were two ladies behind me gabbing away in a loud whisper. I heard this go on for a while, then I turned around and used my hands to gesture about the noise and distraction from these ladies.

Well, I was the irreverent one at that point, I guess, to judge by the dirty looks I got.

I wonder why these people come to church, in the first place. Which is the same question I have about people who come to church when they are sick, coughing continually, etc.

Seriously. Why do these people come to church?

I’m sure there’s every type of problem at the Vatican.

I work in a church and for some people, going to mass is the only time they have any interaction with people - AT ALL. We have some people who talk before Mass, mostly in a whisper. They talk about their ill family members, ask people to pray for them during Mass, mention problems they are having and may need help with. One old lady (in her 90’s) always talks to the young man in front of her. He buys her lottery tickets and inquires about her health. Sometimes she gives him a holy card or he passes on an article he has read. They talk a bit loud because she is hard of hearing.

St. Therese writes of a nun who bothered her with banging of rosaries beads on the back of her pew during mass and she could not focus. She decided to accept it as a penance and began to look at that nun much differently from then on.

Sacrosanctum Concilium states that Christ is also present in the gathered Assembly. No, that doesn’t mean that we should have a gab fest, but we need to accept people for where they are in their spiritual life.

I also agree with the poster who said that just sitting and praying for things to change does not mean things will. In our parish there was a flurry of activity just before Mass…choir practicing and talking, people running around the sanctuary setting up, people talking. In our liturgy committee we decided we needed to do something about it so we set up the 15 minute rule. Anything that had to be done before Mass had to end 15 minutes before Mass started. So the choir found they could warm up in our chapel or lower church. The sacristians made sure everything was set up early. We put a lectionary in the sacristy so the lectors didn’t have to go to the ambo to look over their readings (even though most practice during the week, they still like to see how it looks in the lectionary before reading). We also put an article in the bulletin about silence before Mass. It worked. It is usually quiet before Mass so people can pray.

After mass there is about 5 minutes of activity and talking as people are walking out, but it is not too bad,no one complains. Mostly it is people greeting people they have not seen all week…that too creates community. We also have hospitality once a month in the lower church.

W

 

[PattiDay]

I have a wonderful story about this. Last year, I did a lot of work with Life Teen. I can’t this year, because of my health. I really enjoyed the kids and the program was great. However, I noticed that the kids were very noisy before and after mass. During mass, they were wonderful. But take 500 kids and put them into a church before mass and you hear noise.

To make a long story short . . . our Life Teen meetings have three parts: prayer, social (food and pop), and evangelization. Each week there is a specific topic. One week, the topic was the mass. It was my turn to present. I thought I would speak about the doctrine of the mass, but since I had only 45 minutes, these kids do have to go home and get ready for school, I spoke about reverence and how to get ready for mass. I explained how we use silence in the community. I even gave a little background to the tradition of silence. The kids were mesmerized. They had never heard of Benedictines. Their idea of monks is the TV version. Even the adults did not know that the silence in church, before mass, comes from the monastic tradition. Everyone simply thought that it was a “Catholic thing”. I explained how it became a “Catholic thing” through the work of St. Benedict and St. Basil who built the first churches, as we know them today. The churches before the rise of monasticism were very different. Actually, they were very functional rooms that often serve different uses. Cathedrals doubled as art centers and theaters. The monastery church often became the local church, where great silence was observed.

As I said, the kids were very interested and they asked a lot of question about monasticism and why monks observed such solemn silence. I answered their questions. I then told them how the Blessed Sacrament came to be placed in the main body of the church by St. Francis and why. Then they wanted to know all about that. Of course, they knew that I was a Franciscan. This made it more interesting to them.

The weeks that followed, I observed that the kids who had been at the meeting were shushing the other kids before mass. All of the noise was not gone. The kids were still coming in and settling in. The choir did practice a few songs before mass, but every sound was purposeful. It wasn’t useless chatter.

Some of our modern architecture is almost too bright. Studies have actually shown that the use of bright lights can over stimulate people. That’s why auditoriums and restaurants often avoid florescent lighting. Florescent lighting is cheaper, but it has its drawbacks.

The church has very bright lights and the mass is an evening mass. It looks even brighter when you come inside from the dark evening. The kids came up with a great idea. The lights are turned off before the mass, leaving only the sanctuary lights and the spotlight over the tabernacle that’s on the side altar and another one on the other side altar where there is an icon of the Blessed Mother.

It’s funny, because you can hear the voices approaching the front door and suddenly the chatter stops. We now have 500 teens in a quiet zone. Sometimes it just takes an explanation. We don’t teach rules of deportment anymore. You also have to play with the environment.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

Brother Joseph,

Can you visit our church and give the same presentation to our adults and children?

 

[ConstantineTG]

Brother Joseph,

Can you visit our church and give the same presentation to our adults and children?

He’s Brother Jay

 

[faithfully]

No, I have never written it up, because it’s common sense.

When I think of “common sense”, I think it’s supposed to mean that the common person gets it. And I don’t think they do… But I’m also one to think most people are lacking in common sense… displayed by way of their actions.

Well, I was the irreverent one at that point, I guess, to judge by the dirty looks I got.

I wonder why these people come to church, in the first place. Which is the same question I have about people who come to church when they are sick, coughing continually, etc.

Seriously. Why do these people come to church?

I’m sure there’s every type of problem at the Vatican.

Really? You don’t know why people go to church? Do you think they have a different agenda than you? Obviously, they go about things differently. And perhaps inappropriately. But you think they are there for a different reason? Like what?

Regarding chatting prior to Mass. Most the the time I imagine it is unnecessary chatter. However, I doubt most know what’s really being discussed. Like the lady sitting next to me one day. Who was sobbing. And informed me that she’d try to keep it down. But her best friend was dieing, and she was having a hard time dealing. I held a strangers hand for most of the mass. I wonder if someone was terribly upset to be disrupted by her sobs, and explanation.

Although I think it’s appropriate to stay silent with your thoughts and prayers while in Mass. Somehow I don’t imagine that God is checking off a list and grading your style. I don’t know… maybe he is. And if he is… I bet the person who manages to stay silent undetered by those around him… gets the BEST grades. They are like skilled surgeons with perfectly controlled hands. And I wonder why kind of grade a person gets for blaming their inability to focus on others… Maybe many of you need some training with a handfull of children. You’ll learn, when something is really important how to turn it all into background noise. Sometimes, I can get so involved with a thought the house could probably fall down around me, and I’m not sure I’d notice. But I’ve put in years of training with some serious noise makers!

I’m also gonna add about being sick. As a mother of two little incubaters, I have never been more sick in my life. Now, I do stay home if I have a fever or am considered in any way contagious. But I was vexed with a chest virus TWICE last year. The results of which were a cough that lasted 12 weeks. BOTH TIMES! Not contagious, but annoying to say the LEAST. The back pain and abdominal pain from the coughing was tremendous. But to miss Mass potentially for 6 months when I’m not contagious. Jeesh… Really? But no, I wouldn’t voluntarily shake someones hand who is coughing. Nor do I offer one when I “sound” sick…

And partially, I envision that receiving communion somehow has a healing quality to my body as well as soul. I don’t know… just a thought…

 

[Apryl]

Or one could politely offer a cough drop and some Buckley’s cough syrup. Trust me it’s not enjoyable to have sneezing and coughing attacks, and when children and babies get sick there’s not much you can do about it either.

Yikes!

There is NOTHING “polite” about Buckley’s cough syrup. That’s just downright MEAN.

 

[JReducation]

Brother Joseph,

Can you visit our church and give the same presentation to our adults and children?

I’d love to visit your parish. I’m afraid that I can’t make any promises about my effectiveness. I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Thank you for the compliment.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[spunjalebi]

Yikes!

There is NOTHING “polite” about Buckley’s cough syrup. That’s just downright MEAN.

Oh yes I know, the taste is horrid and the pungent smell of the camphor literally goes right up your nose. Yes, I get it, but hey it WORKS! Besides if you position the spoon just right at the back of your throat, you can’t taste anything

I’ve been taking that stuff since I was a kid. Honestly, eating intestines, fish eggs, and brains are much worse. But anyway, back to our regularly scheduled program.

 

[mcmitton]

I feel your frustration OP. At my parish the ‘modern’ choir, yes complete with electric drums, rehearses before Mass AND folks are talking up a storm. There is zero chance to pray even for a moment, in silence. It is just plain disgusting.

We don’t have chatting during our mass, but …

Our church has no place for the musicians to tune up, rehearse, etc. other than the positions in which they play/sing. We try to finish all of “our get ready” stuff at least 15 minutes before mass begins. We only have a keyboard and guitar to use and a seasonal choir, and we do rehearse quickly and as quietly as possible before that “15 minute” time.

There is, however, before and after mass an enormous amount of loud happy joyous meeting and greeting in the gathering space on the other side of the entry doors to our worship space. Even with the entry doors closed, our worshipers do not have quiet.

And don’t get me started about the incredible noise after the recessional is completed. Those who remain behind don’t have any silence until everyone else has exited the worship space. :sad_yes:

 

[Joannm]

Try asking the musicians to play a predule and postlude. If anything it drowns out some of the noise. I found that music played before Mass tends to keep people quiet.

 

[Thyme]

It’s so annoying when you can’t concentrate on what’s being said when there are people chattering. The other Sunday, these women next to me were chatting constantly. The only time they would stop chatting would be when the priest spoke .

I hate sitting at the back. At the churches I go to, the chatters sit at the back.

A priest once told my mum that when there’s a lot of distraction, it’s from the devil.

 

[Cristiano]

Yes, this is another thread about those things which wouldn’t bother me if I was concentrating on what I’m supposed to be concentrating on…

… but I’ve found I can’t concentrate on those things because of the distractions.

I realize that this (the USA) is a ‘free country’ and all that, and I understand that ‘people will do what they want’, but the Mass is only a short time (45 minutes to an hour) to start off the week, and it’s the time when we are preparing for the reception of, and the reception of the Eucharist.

I can’t find a place in the church where I can sit and not be disturbed by the chattering around me. If the people aren’t talking about the world outside (which I think can wait until after Mass), they are talking with the priest… so I get this pseudo re-verb when he does the Eucharistic Prayers.

When it’s time for the Lamb of God, the conversations are more intense because of the rush to say what they want before Communion starts. Thank Goodness more are limiting their conversations once we are kneeling.

Then, people receive communion only to return to their seats and have another chatter conversation.

Lord, forbid if I choose to sit in the first row, I have people to stand over me, or touch me, to get my attention because of something they want to say when Mass is over.

Now, I realize that if I were as grounded as so many others, these things wouldn’t bother me. It is my shortcoming that I would like to be able to go to Mass for tranquility and for comfort and for a way to commune with God and have a prayerful time to talk with God. I guess I should apologize for that.

Until I get to that point, what do I do? How do I address it? What can be done to encourage more people to cut their chattering and talking down, esp during the time of the Eucharist?

This is a very interesting post, and it has nothing to do with a specific Church or Rite. Once I was attending a Maronite Liturgy and I was sitting in the front pew preparing for the beginning of the Liturgy. Next to me came to sit a very nice person that usually attends the same liturgy. This man is a very knowledgeable and devout Russian Orthodox that attends this Liturgy because his wife is Catholic. That specific day he was alone and there were a lot of people in the Narthex and they were noisy. He started to complain how people are rude and do not have any sense of reverence toward the Liturgy and that people should be preparing in silent prayer, and then he asked me what I thought of it. I simply said that I understood his feelings but I also admitted that sometime I fall in the same bad behavior and so I just choose to forgive those who distract me and try to listen to God even more. At that point he had an epiphany and he acknowledged that he was just doing the same bad thing in the chapel. He was mortified, and so I told him to pray for forgiveness and to relax.

I think that the devil is very active and at work especially in the church when people try to worship. That is the challenge that we face and we should not simply blame the bad behaviors of others for our shortcomings. Striving for holiness is a constant practice that requires hard training in difficult situations. If you want to win a 5 mile race, you must practice for 10 miles.

 

[Apryl]

It’s so annoying when you can’t concentrate on what’s being said when there are people chattering. The other Sunday, these women next to me were chatting constantly. The only time they would stop chatting would be when the priest spoke.

Sadly, I can’t say that. I’ve had people (usually ladies, but sometimes, the ushers), talk while the priest was talking

I thought I’d pop the one Sunday when the guy sitting next to me was reading a newspaper and popped the paper during the Eucharistic Prayers. I kid you not!

 

[spunjalebi]

Reading how rude people can be during Mass makes me glad that while I was in RCIA, the director and the catechists made it very clear that our behavior should bestow reverence. We were told about how one of our priests actually gave communion to someone who was on their cell phone!! Now that is worse than Buckley’s!

 

[lwilday]

While visiting my mom in another diocese recently I came across her copy of Diocese News. I read an article in the publication about a parish in the diocese that was celebrating their 100th anniversary. The article mentioned one of the wonderful things about their parish is that most of the parishioners stayed after Mass every Sunday to say 3 Our Father’s and 1 Hail Mary. Sounds great!

While in my own parish there is some chatter before and after Mass, I can’t say that it is too disruptive or disrespectftul. While I certainly prefer silence all around me while praying, it will never happen and I just need to concentrate harder.

 

[spunjalebi]

I think the chatter needs to happen in a more appropriate place. That’s the problem I see.

 

[Apryl]

We were told about how one of our priests actually gave communion to someone who was on their cell phone!! Now that is worse than Buckley’s!

I fault the priest.

I mean, really… why on earth would the priest still dispense the Eucharist to someone who so blatantly has no idea what he is receiving? Isn’t he expected to protect the Eucharist?

No wonder why the Extraordinary Ministers don’t know what to do.

 

[spunjalebi]

I thought unless a person was sinning in terms of grave matter-- like the politicians who say they are Catholic but are also pro-choice-- could only have communion refused.