Besides, when the hard days come at your hand-picked favorite (which they always do), it helps to know you did the work to choose the best option for you, that there wasn’t something better out there that you missed out on because you neglected to fully consider it. (Kind of like not marrying the first girl you meet. You don’t have to date more women than the first one you fall in love with, but you ought to at least have gotten to know a few as friends!!)“Maybe it would be the worst day ever if you have to use it, but your worst day ever will be immeasurably worse if you don’t have your contingency plan ready before that awful day comes.”
That’s right.
Well, I don’t want to go to Benedictine just because it’s a Catholic college. I want to go there because it’s the college I love the most. The environment is great, the classes are great, and the people are fantastic. Also, since my sister went there and got amazing grades, that looks good on my profile, so as long as I score reasonably well on the ACTs, they don’t really have any reason not to take me. However, in the case that they do, what do you mean by a back-up plan? Have another college in mind, or what?The decision for or against graduate school depends on what you want to do. Those who want to work in the field usually go straight to work with a bachelor’s or a master’s degree; most of the engineers I know have bachelor’s degrees, including the recent new hires. (IOW: the hiring situation differs by region, from year to year, and depending on the candidate’s flexibility with regards to location.) Those who stay on for a doctorate are usually going for careers in industrial research or university-level teaching and research. The same is true in fields such as nursing and physical therapy, although some fields are bumping up to a master’s requirement for in-the-field new hires. That will be something that could easily be different six years or so from now than it is today; your departmental counselor can give you that information when you get to your junior year of college or so.
As for Benedictine, my caution would be to have a plan for what to do if the entry scholarship package drops off in the second year. This kind of “bait-and-switch” is the bane of private-university students, and it is not at all uncommon. Your advice about not accumulating a lot of debt is well-taken, though. It is hard to start a marriage and family with a mountain of debt to service, and seminaries do not want candidates with a load of unpaid student loans. There is a great deal of freedom to be had in freedom from debt!! There are public universities, meanwhile, who have such strong ties between their students and good Catholic parishes or Newman centers that on-going formation as a Catholic can be achieved very well at one of them. On top of that, we have had difficult stories here concerning high school students who were not accepted into the college of their choice and who had no fall-back plan for that event. So yes, it is worthwhile to research more than one college only. I would say it is a necessity to include more than one first-tier choice and at least one excellent no-matter-what-happens choice (in order to not be stuck with an “I-can’t-believe-I-got-stuck-going-here” no-matter-what-happens-choice, let alone an involuntary “gap year” that does nothing to advance your development as a person.)
Consider it fire insurance. Maybe it would be the worst day ever if you have to use it, but your worst day ever will be immeasurably worse if you don’t have your contingency plan ready before that awful day comes.
Yes, I mean that if there is any chance you will not be accepted or cannot afford the tuition for your freshman year or that you might have to drop out for budget reasons down the road that you have a back-up plan and know what deadlines you need to meet in order to bring that back-up plan into play. If the likelihood of being rejected is nil, then sure, you can apply to just one place. If you know you can walk up with a checkbook and register for fall classes at that quality junior college I was talking about after the date when you will have found out you have not been accepted by your first choice, then you don’t have to apply there until “the fire” hits. The thing is to have a strategy and to know what you need to know to use it if needed, so the floor doesn’t open up under you if you don’t get the results you hope to get from the admissions committee.Well, I don’t want to go to Benedictine just because it’s a Catholic college. I want to go there because it’s the college I love the most. The environment is great, the classes are great, and the people are fantastic. Also, since my sister went there and got amazing grades, that looks good on my profile, so as long as I score reasonably well on the ACTs, they don’t really have any reason not to take me. However, in the case that they do, what do you mean by a back-up plan? Have another college in mind, or what?
This thread is over a year old, and reading all the posts so far would take a long time. I think it would be helpful if you would start a new thread about your experiences, so we could start fresh.They’ve become cold and heartless-- from being treated coldly and heartlessly themselves? Going to work, if mothers? getting themselves overloaded–cant be bothered? Getting too wrapped up in vanity? Somethting like that. All the reasons we become cold and heartless and insensitive to the suffering of someone close.
Its not deep. Its not complicated. It’s SELFISH.
My family completely took me for granted, used me for their own comfort, I was the obedient one. Husband from violent family read, “no one will help her. I’m free to do what i want” and did. Rape abuse of me and abuse of his son.
I’m so sorry. I stayed away from my family so that while they were discounting me to the world I wouldn’t give them information to ruin what support I had. 20 years.
I know what you are saying. From what I can tell, people blame the victim because they have a ‘this is a happy wonderful world" mentality that refuses or doesn’t like to be shaken with the bad news that it is not and that horrible things happen. Its just too much for them to take. I think its the same type of thing as "don’t shoot the messenger’. People just want the bad stuff to ‘go away’, they want to sweep it under a proverbial rug somewhere, because to deal with it is** much more **horrifying.Why do people tend to blame the victim? In spousal abuse, people say “He couldn’t have just hit you for the fun of it. You had to provoke him somehow.” In my own case of being sexually abused when I was younger, some people say “Why didn’t you stop him? You’re at fault, too, because you didn’t tell someone about it.” Why do we blame the victim for being a victim? Why do people naturally put blame on victims when they are in fact blameless? Why is it that sometimes families are the ones who put the most blame on you? Everybody in the world believes that I was abused except for my family. They simply won’t let it register in their minds, and it can be really hurtful. They tell me it had to be consensual because I didn’t report it to anyone. They don’t understand that sexual abuse isn’t as simple as that, and that you feel shame and don’t want to tell people (Especially in my case, where the abuser intentionally put shame on me and blackmailed me to keep me quiet). Does anyone have advice on how to deal with them putting blame on me (When even professionals agree it’s a blameless situation on my part)?
I’m sorry, I realize this may not be the best place to put this. If a moderator thinks there is a better forum for it, please move it there.
At least that is my 2 cents worth.