Blessing wedding rings and home

[yessisan]

Can I have my rings blessed by a Priest w/o DH being there? Can they be blessed or am I just making this up? Pardon my ignorance, but I never got to have a Church wedding and I don’t know if I can get our rings blessed. We had a convalidation via Radical Sanation, so we had no ceremony.

Also, what about blessing my new home?

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

The first is a good question. I don’t know what a priest would do in the instance of a radical sanation. Why don’t you call him on the phone or email him and ask him- when you set up the blessing of your new home?

 

[John_Lilburne]

There is a blessing for a new home:

“Order for the Blessing of a New Home …
661 The present order may be used by a priest or deacon. It may also be used by a layperson, who follows the rites and prayers designated for a lay minister. …
663 There is to be no blessing of a new home unless those who will live in it are present.”
(Book of Blessings, Liturgical Press, Minnesota, 1989, ISBN 0-8146-1875-8, page 237).

There is also an “Order for the Blessing of an Engaged Couple”:
“197 The present order may be used by the parents, a priest, a deacon, or a lay minister. …
198 … Neither a formal betrothal nor the special blessing of an engaged couple is ever to be combined with the celebration of Mass.”
The ceremony includes these rubrics:
“209 In accord with local custom, before the prayer of blessing, the engaged couple may express some sign of their pledge to each other, for example, by signing a document or be exchanging rings or gifts.
210 The engagement rings or gifts amy be blessed by use of the following formulary.
In due course may you honor the sacred pledge symbolized by these gifts which you now exchange.
R. Amen.”
(Book of Blessings, Liturgical Press, Minnesota, 1989, ISBN 0-8146-1875-8, page 63).

The wedding rings are blessed as part of the wedding:
“BLESSING OF RINGS
47. Priest
May the Lord bless + these rings which you give to each other
as a sign of your love and fidelity.
R. Amen”
For other forms of the blessing of rings, see nos. 110, 111."
(Rite of Marriage, from The Rites Volume One, Liturgical Press, 1990, ISBN: 0-8146-6015-0, page 737).

 

[Sr_Sally]

Can I have my rings blessed by a Priest w/o DH being there? Can they be blessed or am I just making this up? Pardon my ignorance, but I never got to have a Church wedding and I don’t know if I can get our rings blessed. We had a convalidation via Radical Sanation, so we had no ceremony.

Also, what about blessing my new home?

Our rings were blessed at our wedding, so can’t help there. Please do call your priest though.

We had our house blessed soon after we moved in (it was our first wedding anniversary). The priest who married us came to do it and then we had the top of the wedding cake! Fun! There is a special service for this. He blessed holy water and used a branch from a bush in our yard to sprinkle it. He blessed the living room, kitchen, powder room, and our bedroom. The other rooms in the house were blessed by extension (ie, he stood in our bedroom, but mentioned all bedrooms in his prayers). It was WONDERFUL! I highly reccommend it. We have been very happy in this house for almost 15 years!

 

[otjm]

I am all for blessings. But having this done when your husband is not there smacks of some serious problems, either with the marriage or with the blessings.

Blessings go back to ancient history and are important. They are not magic. If this is something you cannot have done when your husband is there, then I would suggest that this is not a path you should trod.

 

[John_Lilburne]

Another part of the Book of Blessings seems to have an ongoing blessing of wedding rings.

Chapter 1, section III, has:
"III. ORDERS FOR THE BLESSING OF A MARRIED COUPLE
INTRODUCTION
90 A major wedding anniversary, for example, the 25th, 50th or 60th, is a fitting occasion for a special remembrance of the sacrament of marriage by means of the celebration of the proper Mass and prayers provided in the Roman Missal. [footnote 4: See Roman Missal, Ritual Masses: Wedding Mass, 2. The Anniversay of Marriage.]
91 The blessing of a married couple may be celebrated within Mass, by use of the orders of blessing provided in nos. 94-106 and 107-114, or by a blessing outside Mass, celebrated according to the orders given in nos 115-131 and 132-134.
92 A married couple may also request a blessing at a time other than an anniversay for the special needs of their lives or for such occasions as retreats or pilgrimages. If several couples are to be blessed at the same time, the prayer of blessing and the final blessing are adapted accordingly.
93 While maintaining the structure and chief elements of the rite, the minister should adapt the celebration to the circumstances of the place and the married couple and the families involved.
A. ORDER OF BLESSING WITHIN MASS ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF MARRIAGE
…
97 The celebrant may say the following prayer and then incense the couple’s wedding rings.
Lord,
increase and consecrate the love which N. and N.
have for one another.
The wedding rings they once exchanged
are the sign of their fidelity.
May they continue to prosper
in the grace of the sacrament.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
R. Amen.

98 Or if the couple renews the exchange of rings, the celebrant says the following prayer of blessing.
Lord,
bless and consecrate the love which N. and N.
have for one another.
May these rings be a symbol
of their true faith in each other
and of the grace of the sacrament.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
R. Amen.

99 One of the following formularies may also be used: (footnote 7: See Rite of Marriage, nos 110-111.)
Lord,
bless these rings which we bless + in your name.
Grant that those who wear them
may always have a deep faith in each other.
May they continue to enjoy your peace and goodwill
and live together in love.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
R. Amen.
Or:
Lord,
bless + and consecrate the love which N. and N.
have for one another.
May these rings be a symbol
of their true faith in each other
and always remind them of their love.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
R. Amen. …"

The next ceremony described is “B. ORDER OF BLESSING WITHIN MASS ON OTHER OCCASIONS”. This does not include a blessing of the rings.

But the third ceremony does:
“C. ORDER OF BLESSING OUTSIDE MASS
115 The present order may be used by a priest or deacon. It may also be used by a layperson, who follows the rites and prayers designated for a lay minister. …
124 On a wedding anniversary the minister may say the following prayer and then incense the couple’s wedding rings.”

It then has the same choice of one of the four prayers above, but before the last two it has the rubric “126 A minister who is a priest or a deacon may also use one of the following formularies.”

References:
catholicculture.org/lit/prayers/view.cfm?id=697 has a more complete text of the ceremonies.
Book of Blessings, Liturgical Press, Minnesota, 1989, ISBN 0-8146-1875-8, pages 20-31.

 

[stbruno]

As a deacon, I would never bless wedding rings unless they are part of a wedding or a renewal of vows.

So get your rings blessed with your spouse in attendance on your anniversary or in Feb. on World Marriage Day which is usually the Sunday around Valentine’s Day.

God bless you and all married couples! We need more examples of faithfulness and fidelity by married couples!

 

[yessisan]

There is a blessing for a new home:

“Order for the Blessing of a New Home …
661 The present order may be used by a priest or deacon. It may also be used by a layperson, who follows the rites and prayers designated for a lay minister. …
663 There is to be no blessing of a new home unless those who will live in it are present.”
(Book of Blessings, Liturgical Press, Minnesota, 1989, ISBN 0-8146-1875-8, page 237).

I asked the Pastor at my new Parish and he said to me that my husband doesn’t need to be there for the blessing of my house since my husband is anti-Catholic… Do you think this is right, or should I not do it?

As far as the rings come… I guess if DH ever reverts we can renew our vows…

 

[lizaanne]

As a deacon, I would never bless wedding rings unless they are part of a wedding or a renewal of vows.

I’m just curious, Deacon, why not? If, for example, my husband and I were married without rings (perhaps we could not afford them at the time), and asked you to bless our rings after Mass one Sunday, would that not be appropriate?

I’m not questioning your motive, just trying to understand.

~Liza

 

[yessisan]

As a deacon, I would never bless wedding rings unless they are part of a wedding or a renewal of vows.

So get your rings blessed with your spouse in attendance on your anniversary or in Feb. on World Marriage Day which is usually the Sunday around Valentine’s Day.

God bless you and all married couples! We need more examples of faithfulness and fidelity by married couples!

The problem is that my husband will not go into a Catholic Church or speak to a Priest or Deacon… so does this rule apply if one is non-Catholic and the other one is Catholic and the Catholic party wants peace of mind (for the good of my conscience)?

 

[G_S]

As a deacon, I would never bless wedding rings unless they are part of a wedding or a renewal of vows.

So get your rings blessed with your spouse in attendance on your anniversary or in Feb. on World Marriage Day which is usually the Sunday around Valentine’s Day.

God bless you and all married couples! We need more examples of faithfulness and fidelity by married couples!

You’re working out of some old guidelines that limited a deacon’s blessings to liturgical situations. The Book of Blessings is the official rite now and allows deacons to bless almost anything. The few restrictions are for obvious reasons; e.g. chalices, church doors, altars. The Book of Blessings also states that, if a priest is present – e.g., after Mass at the church entrance when someone wants a medal or rosary blessed – it is more fitting that the priest bless the person or object. The priest, of course, could ask the deacon to do it. To the poster: go ahead and have your ring blessed.

 

[otjm]

You’re working out of some old guidelines that limited a deacon’s blessings to liturgical situations. The Book of Blessings is the official rite now and allows deacons to bless almost anything. The few restrictions are for obvious reasons; e.g. chalices, church doors, altars. The Book of Blessings also states that, if a priest is present – e.g., after Mass at the church entrance when someone wants a medal or rosary blessed – it is more fitting that the priest bless the person or object. The priest, of course, could ask the deacon to do it. To the poster: go ahead and have your ring blessed.

There is only one minor problem with that; the OP was asking if she could have them blessed without her husband being present.

I don’t know about you, but to me that raises at least one if not two red flags; the first being the issue of why this has to be done without the husband being present (and impliedly not knowing about it). That in and of itself seems to indicate that this belies some deeper issues between husband and wife.

The second issue is what does the blessing really mean to the wife? While the blessings are to the rings, ultimately they are to the husband and wife and their marriage, which the rings represent. I would be concerned, due tot he question,t hat she was not thinking that a blessing was some sort of talisman in disguise; some sort of magical enchanting that provides some sort of change or protection to the wearer, source unknown. I have met too many poorly catechized Catholics who seem to have abit of lingering suspicion; burying a statute of St. Joseph to help sell one’s house comes immediately to mind.

 

[G_S]

It’s not fair to practically accuse the wife of superstition. I know of a long married couple who are very happy with each other. The non-catholic husband, about thirty years ago, would have nothing to do with a validation ceremony and the wife arranged for a sanatio in radice. He just saw a new ceremony as saying that they were not already married, which made sense from a Protestant perspective. A blessed ring will not save a marriage but, then again, neither will a wedding ceremony. The woman is looking for God’s help and assistance here and her contact with a priest or deacon might just be a wonderful occasion of grace. Or should we quench a smoldering wick?

 

[otjm]

It’s not fair to practically accuse the wife of superstition. I know of a long married couple who are very happy with each other. The non-catholic husband, about thirty years ago, would have nothing to do with a validation ceremony and the wife arranged for a sanatio in radice. He just saw a new ceremony as saying that they were not already married, which made sense from a Protestant perspective. A blessed ring will not save a marriage but, then again, neither will a wedding ceremony. The woman is looking for God’s help and assistance here and her contact with a priest or deacon might just be a wonderful occasion of grace. Or should we quench a smoldering wick?

I guess I have seen too many divorces, and talked with too many superstitious Catholics; just call me jaded. But if it were me being asked to bless the rings, you can bet your booty I’d be asking questions. I am not at all big on spouses doing things the other spouse does not approve of, or anything that smacks of doing things secretly. I have seen way too many tiomes the results that type of choice brings; and seen all too often the results of marriages where that type of behavior is called for.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I asked the Pastor at my new Parish and he said to me that my husband doesn’t need to be there for the blessing of my house since my husband is anti-Catholic… Do you think this is right, or should I not do it?

As far as the rings come… I guess if DH ever reverts we can renew our vows…

What are you waiting for? Get the house blessed!!! You live there, and if it is a comfort to you, get it done. It is not superstitious of you to ask God’s blessing and peace on your home, and to ask a priest to do it. And after some of your other postings, you are entitled to some peace and blessing, dearheart!

 

[John_Lilburne]

I asked the Pastor at my new Parish and he said to me that my husband doesn’t need to be there for the blessing of my house since my husband is anti-Catholic… Do you think this is right, or should I not do it?

As far as the rings come… I guess if DH ever reverts we can renew our vows…

I would accept the pastor’s assessment of the situation.
Book of Blessings 663 has “There is to be no blessing of a new home unless those who will live in it are present.”
I do not think the intention of this is to enable a single member of the household to veto the blessing. I think the concern is about blessing empty houses, doing the ceremony without anyone present who will live in it.

 

[yessisan]

There is only one minor problem with that; the OP was asking if she could have them blessed without her husband being present.

I don’t know about you, but to me that raises at least one if not two red flags; the first being the issue of why this has to be done without the husband being present (and impliedly not knowing about it). That in and of itself seems to indicate that this belies some deeper issues between husband and wife.

The second issue is what does the blessing really mean to the wife? While the blessings are to the rings, ultimately they are to the husband and wife and their marriage, which the rings represent. I would be concerned, due tot he question,t hat she was not thinking that a blessing was some sort of talisman in disguise; some sort of magical enchanting that provides some sort of change or protection to the wearer, source unknown. I have met too many poorly catechized Catholics who seem to have abit of lingering suspicion; burying a statute of St. Joseph to help sell one’s house comes immediately to mind.

I don’t know what gives you the right to call me a poorly catechized Catholic and superstitious!! How dare you question my faith? I don’t need to tell you why I want my house or rings blessed, but I want them because it’ll make me feel better to have my house blessed. The ring because I’d feel a bit better about the fact that I am married to a non-Catholic. I don’t think there is anything wrong w/that. I would tell my husband. The only thing I said was that he wasn’t going to be present since he’s anti-Catholic! If you want to know why it’s because he’s a JW, so he will not go near a Priest or a Church.

And if the priest at my parish agreed to do it, then what’s the fuss? Oh, and on the superstitious thing, of all the people in the world, I think I’d be least superstitious. I don’t believe in the supernatural. So quit judging people when you don’t even have the facts, plus a good Catholic is not supposed to judge, in fact, no one is supposed to judge!

I guess the fact that I teach catechism and can state the facts of Catholicism w/a JW make me poorly catechized? I can argue my points and show you in the Bible where I got them from… I don’t think that’s poorly catechized. I also go to a Catholic Institute to become a certified Catechist… judging makes me angry… sorry if I’m venting here but you got me a bit angry due to your judging.

 

[lizaanne]

yessisan - don’t feel like you have to explain yourself like that, no one *else *here is questioning your motives. You are looking for comfort and grace - I think most of us understand that.

:console:

~Liza

 

[yessisan]

yessisan - don’t feel like you have to explain yourself like that, no one *else *here is questioning your motives. You are looking for comfort and grace - I think most of us understand that.

:console:

~Liza

Thanks Liza! I just hate it when people go on judging w/o a cause…

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Thanks Liza! I just hate it when people go on judging w/o a cause…

Well then, schedule your appointment to have the house blessed. and be sure to tell your husband so he can opt out if he chooses.