In fact, one of the biggest mysteries in Catholic theology is how, precisely, free will is possible (and we know it is) given the utter dependence on grace throughout the salvific process. One cannot cooperate with grace without actual graces to do so. No amount of reflecting on Crucifixes will change that.
It doesn’t seem that great a mystery (in the colloquial sense) to me. Certainly we cannot cooperate with grace without the graces freely given to do so. But we certainly can refuse to cooperate with grace even though we have been given the graces to cooperate. I know it on the best authority, because I’ve done it myself.
It is my opinion that certain forms of Molinism have trickled down into the common, Catholic consciousness in such a way that we’ve put more of an emphasis on the human than on God’s sovereign act in saving His people. As a committed Dominican, I just cannot agree.
All I can say to that is that it hasn’t been my experience that Catholics do this, although it has been my experience that many Protestants think Catholics do this.
(no longer responding to DanielStDominic) As for the original article, I think the problem with it for me is that there are different kinds of being a lapsed Catholic. There are lapsed Catholics who just go away from God altogether. There are lapsed Catholics who continue to believe in and try to follow God, but maybe don’t think about it as much. There are also lapsed Catholics who attend Protestant churches instead. I fall into this last category. (There are certainly other categories, but I can’t think of them all just now.

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For people like me, poor catechesis is a significant contributor to someone leaving the Church. I never lost the sense of my own sinfulness, but I didn’t really understand what the Catholic Church had that Protestant churches didn’t. Better catechesis might have worked for me.
sourced blog post:
The stereotypical answers given above - bad catechesis, bad liturgy, weak sermons, communion in the hand - none of these make any difference in the life of who who truly loves God. Are these things important? Absolutely they are. But obedience, learning the faith, devout participation at Mass are not the cause of conversion but the result of it.
I think this is to some extent wrong. You can have a conversion experience without the results of being obedient (because you don’t understand why), learning the faith (because you think you already understand it), and devoutly participating at Mass (because you don’t truly realize what it means). What proper catechesis does is prepare you so that when you have a conversion experience, you know what to do next. Good liturgy helps you to understand, at an emotional level, what is happening at the Mass. Good homilies are, granted, less important, but they do help you to feel like you can be intellectually “fed” without going to a Protestant service. Basically, good catechesis is not a substitute for a conversion experience, it just enables you to get the best fruit from the conversion experience when the Holy Spirit grants it to you.
I can’t comment on the pre-conciliar Church because I was born after the Council. However, I have a hard time believing that everyone (meaning adults) was afraid all the time, and only attended Mass because they were afraid of priests. They may have attended more often because they were afraid of Hell, but that isn’t necessarily bad. Probably children were more afraid then than now, but I get the impression that children were generally also more afraid then of parents, teachers, and random neighboring adults in general than now as well. But there were good and bad priests before the Council, just like there are good and bad priests now. And the words “good” and “lenient” are not synonyms.
–Jen