Bridal Debate: Colored Wedding Dresses

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I’m a widow, and when I became engaged last year I told my fiance that I would wear a black dress. He was horrified!! He begged me to wear white, INSISTED that I wear white, and even went gown-shopping with me! 😃

After he passed unexpectedly, I decided to re-visit a calling that I’d felt to become a nun, so there won’t be a dress of any color in my future. 👍

(BTW, my first dress was ivory.)

Miz
I am so sorry for your loss. Everything is part of God’s plan and I guess in your case it is definitely underlined.

The bridal party and groom’s party were different colors as it was a whole Christmas theme and my MIL kept wanting to wear the same color as my mother. We had a tense relationship wth the in-laws as it was and it broke down from there. Needless to say - my in-laws were not at the wedding. It took about a year for them to come around but sometimes these things take time. There were many other family dynamic issues that was jsut the straw that night that broke it. So be forwarned - anything that can be an issue with a wedding - WILL BE.
 
I just wore my Sunday best-- a cream colored sweater and a gray wool skirt. I don’t think it really matters what the bride wears, as long as it’s modest and appropriate for receiving the sacrament, and for being in a church.

There’s absolutely NO reason that a bride should “have to” wear a white dress at all if they can’t afford it or just don’t want to. It’s a tradition, yes…but it’s actually relatively modern. Women were wearing their “Sunday best” to get married in for a lot longer than they’ve been wearing the frilly white gowns.
 
I too like white, but I think a bride should wear what she likes. And I agree that it also has to do with your age and how it would feel to wear white if you are going to feel “silly.”

My dress was “champagne” colored as it was originally my mom’s from 1945 and had aged nicely. A few changes in the neckline and sleeves and the addition of some lace appliques made the dress mine! I had the alterations done and got it cleaned all for about $300 dollars and never had to pay the outrageous price for a new dress. Dress prices are crazy! There are creative ways around those prices though, as some have suggested on this thread.
 
I wore ivory, and so did my bridesmaids. One of my bridesmaids later used her dress for her wedding gown.

As long as its modest, the only person you have to please is yourself. Who cares what anybody else thinks.
 
I think the name of the game is MODEST. Lately all you see is strapless wedding gowns.
  1. not everyone looks nice in a strapless gown
  2. NOT for Mass or any church for that matter.
My humble opinion.
-K
 
I wore a strapless wedding gown - but it did not show any cleavage and the veil came down over the shoulders - it was more modest than most of the strappy ones out there. My feeling is it is not longer easy to make hard and fast rules like it was. It was also the one stipulation my husband had asked for.
 
I wore a strapless wedding gown - but it did not show any cleavage and the veil came down over the shoulders - it was more modest than most of the strappy ones out there. My feeling is it is not longer easy to make hard and fast rules like it was. It was also the one stipulation my husband had asked for.
I use to feel that strapless gowns were totally inappropriate as well, UNTIL my husband’s cousin got married and wore a strapless gown. So did all the bridesmaids, except for the junior bridesmaids. And it was one of the more tasteful weddings we’ve attended since we got married. Who ever was in charge of the alterations for the dresses, or the sizing, knew what they were doing because the cut of the neckline rode high on the girls and there wasn’t any cleavage or slippage. I was impressed.

I think if the sizing is all wrong, even the most modest of dresses can become immodest in a heartbeat if the bridal department has no clue about sizing properly or altering the dress properly. Plus the undergarments can make a huge difference as well.
 
I use to feel that strapless gowns were totally inappropriate as well, UNTIL my husband’s cousin got married and wore a strapless gown. So did all the bridesmaids, except for the junior bridesmaids. And it was one of the more tasteful weddings we’ve attended since we got married. Who ever was in charge of the alterations for the dresses, or the sizing, knew what they were doing because the cut of the neckline rode high on the girls and there wasn’t any cleavage or slippage. I was impressed.

I think if the sizing is all wrong, even the most modest of dresses can become immodest in a heartbeat if the bridal department has no clue about sizing properly or altering the dress properly. Plus the undergarments can make a huge difference as well.
Exactly mine was made for my measurements so the only alterations that were necessary was the hem once I got the shoes and the cups were built in ahead of time so it actually saved more money than it the extra cost of a higher end dress such as that - not to mention time and stress of going back and forth to the bridal shop.
 
I think the name of the game is MODEST. Lately all you see is strapless wedding gowns.
  1. not everyone looks nice in a strapless gown
  2. NOT for Mass or any church for that matter.
My humble opinion.
-K
I agree with you here. It’s not a blanket statement…I have seen strapless dresses that were more modest than others, and I’ve seen little shrugs and shawls which make them even better! 😉 But when I was still looking for a traditional wedding gown (before deciding to settle with my “Sunday best” skirt and sweater) I had the HARDEST time finding one that wasn’t strapless. Generally speaking, I think they’re less appropriate than non-strapless gowns. Personal opinion. I actually ended up at a Mormon wedding dress website, of all places.
 
I have heard of the bottom of the inside of some white dresses becoming totally black because of dragging on the floor.

But since this is a post all in good fun, I hope people will forgive my cattiness. I have been at weddings where all I could think was ‘you actually spent good money on that dress!!!’ Or 'You shopped for weeks and that is all you could find". the sad truth is, I think VERY FEW woman actually look good in white. I find white adds at least 20 pounds to all women so unless you are very slim, it looks bad. I also think if you are tall, it is just WAY too much white. Or the worse is to see a bride who is constantly pulling her strapeless dress back up.

I have nothing against someone who really wants to wear white, but I don’t think the dress is as important as the bridal boutique wants you to think

However, since we are on the topic, why can’t the groom see the dress before the wedding day? A friend once said it was bad luck (not a satisfactory answer to me). I always though if ever I got married I would have my groom help pick out the dress. The last thing I want is to start a marriage on lies where he tells me he loves my dress out of politeness but is trying hard not to laugh. Or even if he doesn’t like the dress, at least there won’t be a horrible shock on his wedding day

CM
 
I have heard of the bottom of the inside of some white dresses becoming totally black because of dragging on the floor.

But since this is a post all in good fun, I hope people will forgive my cattiness. I have been at weddings where all I could think was ‘you actually spent good money on that dress!!!’ Or 'You shopped for weeks and that is all you could find". the sad truth is, I think VERY FEW woman actually look good in white. I find white adds at least 20 pounds to all women so unless you are very slim, it looks bad. I also think if you are tall, it is just WAY too much white. Or the worse is to see a bride who is constantly pulling her strapeless dress back up.

I have nothing against someone who really wants to wear white, but I don’t think the dress is as important as the bridal boutique wants you to think

However, since we are on the topic, why can’t the groom see the dress before the wedding day? A friend once said it was bad luck (not a satisfactory answer to me). I always though if ever I got married I would have my groom help pick out the dress. The last thing I want is to start a marriage on lies where he tells me he loves my dress out of politeness but is trying hard not to laugh. Or even if he doesn’t like the dress, at least there won’t be a horrible shock on his wedding day

CM
My husband is a traditionalist and didnot want to see it - he had a couple of things that he wanted that he let me know ahead of time and I honored his requests but that was it. I think that is just between the couple.

 
I have heard of the bottom of the inside of some white dresses becoming totally black because of dragging on the floor.

But since this is a post all in good fun, I hope people will forgive my cattiness. I have been at weddings where all I could think was ‘you actually spent good money on that dress!!!’ Or 'You shopped for weeks and that is all you could find". the sad truth is, I think VERY FEW woman actually look good in white. I find white adds at least 20 pounds to all women so unless you are very slim, it looks bad. I also think if you are tall, it is just WAY too much white. Or the worse is to see a bride who is constantly pulling her strapeless dress back up.

I have nothing against someone who really wants to wear white, but I don’t think the dress is as important as the bridal boutique wants you to think

However, since we are on the topic, why can’t the groom see the dress before the wedding day? A friend once said it was bad luck (not a satisfactory answer to me). I always though if ever I got married I would have my groom help pick out the dress. The last thing I want is to start a marriage on lies where he tells me he loves my dress out of politeness but is trying hard not to laugh. Or even if he doesn’t like the dress, at least there won’t be a horrible shock on his wedding day

CM
I have heard the emotional place that brides enter while preparing their wedding called “Brideland.” As in, “in real life no one would think of asking a friend to wear a dress like this, but in Brideland things are different…”

I don’t think white always adds 20 pounds. But I do think the style of the dress can compliment or detract from the way a woman looks. The problem is that in “Brideland,” the whole thing becomes very appealing…

I agree that white is not flattering to some people, or even off-white.

I had a dress that was “somewhat” fancy, and was not expensive as those dresses go, about $500.00. Some people get those pouffy princess dresses when maybe that is not the most flattering style, although I think some women look great in them. As a reaction, some people say they want a dress as simple as possible, sort of like a sheath. And that is a style that I personally could never pull off b/c even when I was thin, I did not have the figure for it. I would have looked huge.

My husband went dress shopping with me 🙂 so we didn’t observe that tradition. A lot of couples do, though.
 
My dress was white and blue, blue tule mixed in with the white, and blue bits of lace overlay lace and a blue sash.

If I were to marry again I’d probably do a purple dress.

Does anyone watch Say yes to the Dress? it’s unreal to me the number of women who choose those hideous lingerie dresses, with see through corsets for the bodice etc. Tacky tacky.
 
Alright apparently I can’t get my dress pics to post but my profile pic has a pic of my dress in it - it just doesn’t show the color well in the picture it was a bit darker and more goldish colored.
 
Does anyone watch Say yes to the Dress? it’s unreal to me the number of women who choose those hideous lingerie dresses, with see through corsets for the bodice etc. Tacky tacky.
It’s like a train wreck–you can’t stop watching it. I keep thinking, I have better things to do but then end up watching it anyway!

I know exactly what you are talking about–the lingerie dress with the corsets for the bodice. I can’t believe anyone would wear that to their wedding. I’m so conservative, I’m sitting there looking at that thinking–boy that would be good for the wedding night! Can you imagine what her kids are going to think thirty years from now when they are looking back at mom’s wedding pictures? EEEWWW!!

They used to have a reality show on tv; can’t remember the channel but the bride agreed to have the wedding planner do everything and then the bride just showed up for the wedding. The suprise, of cousre, came because the bride had no idea what the wedding planner was up to until the day of the wedding. So the bride didn’t get to see her dress until minutes before the wedding–well one boneheaded wedding designer had designed a beach wedding and put the bride in a bikini with a sarong. And the bride was so upset because she wanted a wedding dress. It was still a fun show to watch, though!
 
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