Bridal Shower question

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ACanthony said:
Hello all! There is a girl at my workplace (I work in a department with about 30 people) who is getting married in March. This girl has always given me problems. I have prayed for her, but she is very rude (to put it nicely). She barely says hello to most people and she talks behind my back and also rats a lot of people out to our manager. She is Catholic, yet not getting married in the Church (although I don’t know if she is getting her marriage blessed by the Church). I received an invitation to her bridal shower at work. Now the person who came up with this idea in my opinion is goofy as well. She suggested we all donate $15 OR get her lingere. I frankly found that suggestion offensive. Why would I get her (or anyone who is not my wife) lingere? I do not even want to give $15 towards this. Am I right to not participate in this shower and also what should I tell the person running it? Opinions please! Thanks!
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Honestly, some people have less good sense than God gave a goat. :confused:

You are under NO obligation, whatsoever, to participate in this tacky, tasteless spectacle. “Goofy” doesn’t begin to describe someone who would suggest that male co-workers give lingerie as a shower gift…or would suggest that men participate at all.
 
ACanthony said:
Well I’m glad everyone agrees that the whole lingerie thing was creepy as well!! Sometimes at work, with whatever people talk about, I just feel like I’m on another planet! I am definitely going to respectfully decline.

I actually do not have a wife, but I’m saying in general, I don’t feel it’s appropriate to give a woman lingerie unless she is actually your wife.
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Yes, it would be inappropriate to give lingerie to anyone but your wife, AND, would also be inappropriate to have male co-workers at a shower where the bride is RECEIVING LINGERIE! This is so weird! I feel bad for the bride that someone is inviting males to her bridal shower where lingerie is a recommendation… :eek:
 
dixieagle said:
Honestly, some people have less good sense than God gave a goat. :confused:
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Reminds me of something our Monsignor said recently… when he was growing up, his dad would say of incidents like this, that it is incontrovertible proof that God made more horse’s a**es than he made horses.
 
ACanthony said:
Hello all! There is a girl at my workplace (I work in a department with about 30 people) who is getting married in March. This girl has always given me problems. I have prayed for her, but she is very rude (to put it nicely). She barely says hello to most people and she talks behind my back and also rats a lot of people out to our manager. She is Catholic, yet not getting married in the Church (although I don’t know if she is getting her marriage blessed by the Church). I received an invitation to her bridal shower at work. Now the person who came up with this idea in my opinion is goofy as well. She suggested we all donate $15 OR get her lingere. I frankly found that suggestion offensive. Why would I get her (or anyone who is not my wife) lingere? I do not even want to give $15 towards this. Am I right to not participate in this shower and also what should I tell the person running it? Opinions please! Thanks!
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I don’t understand what the big deal is. If you don’t want to give her $15 or attend the Bridal Shower, then don’t. (But generally speaking, don’t attend and not give a gift, that would be rude.)
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
I don’t understand what the big deal is. If you don’t want to give her $15 or attend the Bridal Shower, then don’t. (But generally speaking, don’t attend and not give a gift, that would be rude.)
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Why would it be rude? One is not obligated to buy and give a gift for every invitation received, especially if one is not close to the honoree of the event.
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
I don’t understand what the big deal is. If you don’t want to give her $15 or attend the Bridal Shower, then don’t. (But generally speaking, don’t attend and not give a gift, that would be rude.)
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What’s rude is gift grabbing, and that’s what it sounds like is happening here.
 
SwizzleStick said:
Why would it be rude? One is not obligated to buy and give a gift for every invitation received, especially if one is not close to the honoree of the event.
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anp1215 said:
What’s rude is gift grabbing, and that’s what it sounds like is happening here.
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No, I think what VeritasLuxMea was saying is that if you shouldn’t forget a gift if you are attending. It would be rude to both attend the event and not give a gift.
 
kerebos said:
No, I think what VeritasLuxMea was saying is that if you shouldn’t forget a gift if you are attending. It would be rude to both attend the event and not give a gift.
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Oh yes, I see what you’re saying “If you do attend, you should bring a gift, it’s rude to attend and not bring a gift.”

Yes, it is rude to go to a party like that without a gift.

My mistake, the wording confused me.
 
OP have you mentioned the lingerie-as-gift-thing to your boss yet? Someone needs to let goofy lady know that is wildly inappropriate for the workplace.
 
anp1215 said:
Oh yes, I see what you’re saying “If you do attend, you should bring a gift, it’s rude to attend and not bring a gift.”

Yes, it is rude to go to a party like that without a gift.

My mistake, the wording confused me.
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I apologize for the confusion. That is indeed what I meant. You are certainly not obligated to attend or to bring a gift. 🙂
 
Em_in_FL said:
For those who choose to have a wedding outside the church first (for whatever reason… before they revert to their faith, or wanting that “special beach wedding”… nothing encouraged or endorsed by the church)…
… They can, after the fact, have their marriage “blessed” in the eyes of the Church… “renewing their vows”…
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Actually, when a Catholic attempts marriage outside of the Church they enter an invalid marriage. That is sin and cannot be blessed.

What some people mistakenly call a blessing or vow renewal is actually a convalidation. It is a real wedding in the Church.
 
And to the OP - the Human Resources department needs to be made aware of this request for gifts/lingeree. That is a big lawsuit waiting to happen.
 
kerebos said:
No, I think what VeritasLuxMea was saying is that if you shouldn’t forget a gift if you are attending. It would be rude to both attend the event and not give a gift.
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Oh, I see. I Misunderstood. I apologize.😊
 
anp1215 said:
Oh yes, I see what you’re saying “If you do attend, you should bring a gift, it’s rude to attend and not bring a gift.”

Yes, it is rude to go to a party like that without a gift.

My mistake, the wording confused me.
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Me too. Obviously. Sorry for my mistake. 😊
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
I apologize for the confusion. That is indeed what I meant. You are certainly not obligated to attend or to bring a gift. 🙂
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No apology necessary on your part. I apologize, though. Somehow I misread your post. It is clear with a second reading.
 
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