Bring back the paddle in schools?

[Rob_s_Wife]

used routinely
mother’s answer to everything (including C’s on tests) was the belt. It was a very common practice when I was a child. What would be considered abuse today was the norm then and I can’t help but think that it is the result of us boomers remembering what went on.

I am no liberal by any stretch of the immagination. But the belt or the paddle are NOT the answer to discipline problems.

First, swats are most effects when it is clearly understood a line has been crossed and it is used sparingly. Regular use, routine use, used for everything - that’s not going to be effective. There’s not clear guide for the kid to follow. They get wacked for everything, so the punishment is not effective and has little impact other than planting the seed of distrust.

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What you describe is not a discipline problem. Grades are usually not about discipline, they should be about knowledge and study habits. Neither of which are going to suddenly develop with a swat to the tuckus.

those same Brothers were always treated with respect and no one acted up in front of them.

umm, I’m actually FOR appropriate spanking when neccessary, but I question that respect. When done properly, yes a kid is going to respect just authority. They will even find comfort in it. Respect would mean they didn’t behave that way period, in front of them or not. If my child is a saint in front of me and a holy terror when I’m not there (which I’ll admit they have done at times!) - that is NOT respect. It’s nothing more than a healthy awareness of preserving their backside. Which certainly has some merit, but a parent should not think the job of character formation is anywhere near complete by that behavior alone. They’ve only taught 1/2 of the lesson.

 

[Karianne]

You are correct on the ages.

We’ve never had issues.

We have pretty high expectations on how they treat others, the respect they show others, and grades. They attend a private Catholic high school, and we expect nothing lower than Bs. They know if grades fall, public school is where they will go. They have no desire to go there. One has never earned less than an A-. Two of the three have earned commendations on both behavior and leadership. (The other one is too young to have been nominated for this yet, but he is doing more at his age than his brothers ever did). One is the president of his grade’s student council and just oversaw raising tens of thousands of dollars for a local homeless shelter.

Our home is where my high schooler hangs out with his friends. His friends’ parents call us to find out what is going on with their kids, because the kids will talk to us. I can guarantee we know more about my sons’ friends personal issues, because they will confide in us and seek advice from us.

I sincerely doubt I have anything to worry about! We are doing most things right. Our kids are living proof of that! They are kind, compassionate, passionate, dedicated, committed, and FUN.

Thanks for your kind concern. I appreciate that you think our standards are low, having never met me or my children.

I think that it’s clear that you “like” as well as “love” your children and if you are getting thru the teen years so well you must have done something VERY good with them earlier.
Kids know when someone wants them around instead of just putting up with them.
People like you should have more children because you populate the world with good souls who help out the rest of us.

 

[Karianne]

I raised a son to maturity without ever having to hit him, and if anyone else – such as a teacher – ever laid a finger on my minor child without my permission, they’d have a riproaring tornado of a pair of parents – not to mention a lawsuit – on their hands.

Excellent answer. I totally agree.

 

[Catholic90]

I think that it’s clear that you “like” as well as “love” your children and if you are getting thru the teen years so well you must have done something VERY good with them earlier.
Kids know when someone wants them around instead of just putting up with them.
People like you should have more children because you populate the world with good souls who help out the rest of us.

Thank you!