Brothers 5th Wedding

  • Thread starter Thread starter LivingInJMJ
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
playing devil’s advocate here: maybe he was cheated on 4 times?
 
Last edited:
SacredHeartBassist said:
playing devil’s advocate here: maybe he was cheated on 4 times?
Click to expand...
Well, maybe, but then again if he is that poor a husband/lover or that incapable of picking a strong and faithful partner, then a decree of nullity is probably in order based on “gross psychological immaturity” Nice way of saying he isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. And I don’t think I want to pursue your contention any farther. That is one can of worms that shouldn’t be opened.
 
Last edited:
just saying i know a guy who has been cheated on that many times. it’s rough out there
 
joeybaggz said:
You know, there is an old saying that, “if you are getting divorced for the seventh time, maybe it’s you.”

Getting married for the 5th time to me of someone who doesn’t understand that marriage is a relationship where the other’s hopes, dreams, wants, and needs are put before one’s own. That, to me, smacks of self absorption. Then, you can see it in another light depending on one’s POV.
Click to expand...
Clearly it would appear he has an understanding (or misunderstanding) of marriage that doesn’t serve himself or his spouse-du-jour well. How and why is what I think we shouldn’t be speculating on. I prefer to give him the benefit of the doubt, rather than assume he is just s self-absorbed person. We all have our various struggles in life. His sounds like a doozey. I don’t think we help him get from there to a better place by writing him off as self-absorbed. Sounds like there are many other factors we don’t know about.

I wasn’t implying you were jumping to that broad conclusion. Your post just made me think about how people who are that troubled in life tend to benefit and grow more from kindness shown them than from judgement and rejection.
 
Last edited:
QwertyGirl said:
Your post just made me think about how people who are that troubled in life tend to benefit and grow more from kindness shown them than from judgement and rejection.
Click to expand...
I definitely agree. In his case. It is just that the OP is in a difficult position, and my post was in answer to her dilemma. I think she needs to see him as immature and self absorbed. When his world comes tumbling down in 20 years or so, should she be there to possibly help him pick up the pieces? If she sees him as immature and self absorbed, maybe that will move her heart to remain in contact with her brother.
Who knows?
 
Last edited:
Hmmm, do you think you were invited because he wants a wedding gift? kidding. I don’t know. I’ve read the thread and it’s back and forth. Go or don’t go.

What would Jesus do? Pope Francis told us to be more tolerant, IE: To love everyone, despite the circumstances. You can go but don’t have to stay long…to show your great love for your brother. Doesn’t matter if he didn’t answer this or that, Or if he’s been married a kabillion times, (He has a problem, could be mental) he’s still your brother. Or if you feel funny about the ceremony, I know people that just go to the reception. Drop off your gift, hug your brother, tell him you love him, wish him well and scoot a boot.

Or not go. At least, let him know you love him despite his views about religion. Be the one that is caring, loving, and more. Jesus tells us to do that. Our Church tells us to do that. The Pope tells us to do that. I’m telling you to do that. Lol.

Show the love of God. Don’t you think God loves him, despite what he does? Of course God does. There is not enough love even in families…Oh my, I’m going to start singing, “All you need is Love”, by the Beatles.

God bless you
 
Last edited:
cmscms said:
If her brother is going to ignore church teaching regardless of what she does, then shouldn’t she do what she thinks is beat and not go to the wedding ? Preserving family unity is NOT always a good thing. First priority is to love and serve our God even if that will turn family away from us
Click to expand...
Well, if she’s a beatnik, then yes.
 
LivingInJMJ said:
Please help me with how I will tell them that my husband and I will not attend his wedding.

I have been trying to figure this out for a few months when the news broke that they were engaged.

I love my brother but I cannot attend the wedding as it is outside the Church and it is number 5.
Click to expand...
You are catholic. You have a duty to tell the truth. Therefore you say truthfully exactly what you said here.

The other option is to go. Become great friends with your bro and his wife. And start Evangelisating them.

They will probably have kids right? Baptism…
 
LivingInJMJ said:
My brother will not even speak to me as is. He was out of my life for 20+ years.
Click to expand...
If he hasn’t spoken to you for 20 years, and is offering a huge olive branch in the form of a wedding invitation, Perhaps go.

Maybe go to the reception.
 
Last edited:
Right, people, fellow CAF ers.

How do we know if any of this guys marriages were valid? We don’t. Don’t assume

How do we know if he was widowered 4 times? We don’t. Don’t assume.

The only objection we are hearing from his sister is it won’t be a Catholic Church wedding. That’s it.

The poor guy might have been tragically widowed 4 times, or never had a valid marriage.
 
Try to be charitable and do it out of good will if you decide to not attend that way you will not resemble a Pharisee.
 
Love, show love. That is the principle of the whole thing. Start the chain of events. The Domino effect.
 
guanophore said:
What would happen if you just did not respond at all?
Click to expand...
Not responding at all is plain rude, because it affects the planning of the wedding and the following festivities. Just RSVP if you will not attend, no need to go into reasons.
 
In a hypothetical circumstance if I was getting married (I have never been married), and my sister objected to it because of some odd reason, and she gave an excuse like your’s, I’d just laugh. And reading your comments throughout this thread you seem extremely judgmental, not only in how people live their lives, but how they practice their faith. There are different extremes, and have never heard of something like this.
 
goout said:
NP.
I have a gay sister who had a civil union a number of years ago.
I went because I love my sister. She knows exactly what we believe and she respects our beliefs.
Click to expand...
I have a gay daughter. She knows where I stand and we both find this difficult but do what we can to maintain the relationship. I invite her and her partner to family events. I expect that if they have a wedding I’ll be invited and I will attend.
 
Last edited:
No. Perhaps you have me mixed up with someone. I offered her encouragement and life experience. See post 5.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top