We actually combined our accounts before we married, too. While I understand that it “sounds” dangerous, I knew that even if by some horrible chance we had a horrible break-up before the wedding, I was not marrying someone who would cheat me out of what I put in with his (and his was considerably more, anyway). It just made sense for us, since we had so many purchases to make and things to pay for before we actually walked down the aisle.
Like you, it worked out beautifully and my husband has never once intimated that he views the money he brings home as “his” and not “ours.” In fact, I basically do all the buying…clothes, groceries, toiletries, movie rentals, whatever. He writes the checks for our bills, and withdraws money on occasion for lunch at work, but that’s about the extent of his spending. We talk about money on an as-needed basis, sometimes daily, sometimes weekly, sometimes monthly. Right now, I do not work and I have not worked in exactly a year…he has never suggested that I don’t “pull my share” and instead is so appreciative of the things I do around the house and other ways that I contribute to our family. We make decisions together about large purchases (basically anything that isn’t on the above list) and talk together about what our needs are, what we’re saving for and what we can do without.
I would feel like I just had a roommate if I was “responsible” for a certain portion of rent, car payment, etc. My husband’s parents had a marriage like that, and he was adamant that ours would not be like that at all. His dad actually had a “talk” with him before we were married about the importance of keeping separate bank accounts. My husband told him to stay out of our business… praise God. His parents are the unhappiest people I know, and we attribute a lot of that to the resentment they have over money and finances with one another. He hoards, she spends out of spite…it’s just a vicious cycle. I am so glad my husband did not inherit those issues!
