Building a Faith Not Based on Fear

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Marie16

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I’ve come to realize over the last several months the negativity I associate with my faith and how much this causes so many of my struggles. I want to work on changing this but need some ideas. With that being said, I like to think I’m a rational person and don’t want just empty happy thoughts. That’s not helpful. I want a strong faith in a loving God who I know I can trust instead of always being fearful and anxious when I think of Him.

Hopefully this doesn’t sound silly. If anyone else has struggled with this I would love to know what you have tried.
 
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek Him." (Heb 11:6) We must ask, seek, and knock. We can ask for faith, or for the humility to oppose the pride that, itself, opposes faith in God. We must believe in, and increasingly come to truly know, God. Because to know Him is to love Him. And “…perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18) So, while “Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom”, this is meant to progress to love. St Basil of Cesarea, a 4th century bishop, described it this way:

"If we turn away from evil out of fear of punishment, we are in the position of slaves. If we pursue the enticement of wages, . . . we resemble mercenaries. Finally if we obey for the sake of the good itself and out of love for him who commands . . . we are in the position of children"
 
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This is a very novel idea, attend some Catholic Mass funerals as a Spiritual work of Mercy and pray for the souls of the departed and the souls of the grieving.
 
Marie16 said:
I’ve come to realize over the last several months the negativity I associate with my faith and how much this causes so many of my struggles. I want to work on changing this but need some ideas. With that being said, I like to think I’m a rational person and don’t want just empty happy thoughts. That’s not helpful. I want a strong faith in a loving God who I know I can trust instead of always being fearful and anxious when I think of Him.

Hopefully this doesn’t sound silly. If anyone else has struggled with this I would love to know what you have tried.
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You probably don’t want a recommendation for a book that’s over a thousand pages, but St Faustina’s Diary helped me a lot to plug in deeper with Jesus. I went through it very gradually over 5-6 months. It cuts to the bone on issues like fear, anxiety, and hopelessness on many occasions.

*I almost said “St Faustina’s Dairy”
 
I think sometimes we carry over childhood ideas of God as a stern judge ready to condemn us. And we forget God who loved us enough to take on human form, God who died out of love for us, God who wants us to be in a relationship with him even though we are sinners. It’s all about love.
 
Pray and do for others, including praying for departed souls, as much as possible.
Ask God constantly to help you build your trust and confidence in Him.
Think of yourself as little as possible (worrying about God playing “gotcha” with you is just another way of being self-centered).
Say the Prayer of St Faustina a lot.
O greatly Merciful God, Infinite Goodness,
today all mankind calls out from the abyss
of its misery to Your mercy—to Your compassion,
O God; and it is with its mighty voice of misery that it cries out.
Gracious God do not reject the prayer of this earth’s exiles!
O Lord, Goodness beyond our understanding,
Who are acquainted with our misery through and through,
and know that by our own power
we cannot ascend to You,
we implore You; anticipate us with Your Grace
and keep on increasing Your mercy in us,
that we may faithfully do Your holy will
all through our life and at death’s hour.
Let the omnipotence of Your mercy
shield us from the darts of our salvation’s enemies,
that we may with confidence,
as Your children await Your final coming,
that day known to You alone.
And we expect to obtain everything promised us
by Jesus in spite of all our wretchedness.
For Jesus is our Hope:
Through His merciful Heart
as through an open gate we pass through to heaven.
(Diary of St. Faustina 1570)
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A God who was willing to die a frightful crucifixion for you is a God who loves you.

Don’t worry about getting rid of all your fear in one fell swoop. It’s okay if it’s a process.
 
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear: but of power, and of love, and of sobriety.” 2 Timothy 1:7
 
Thank you for this question. It’s for me too. Yesterday I saw a photo of children on their way to a death sentence going to a concentration camp. All of a sudden I thought, surely there were mothers there who sought the Lord all their lives who prayed for a way out, who prayed their babies would not be taken from them.

This dark thought (a reality nonetheless) made me feel sick when I thought of my own prayers for my children. Would Jesus whom I love who allows atrocities for reasons beyond my mind answer my prayers for safety for my children. That awful moment where everything seemed like chance instead.

I’ve sought God for years and although MUCH closer to Him than ever before, still that photo lingers as I try to reconcile it to my own motherly prayers, to my faith and my trust in Jesus. I’ve even gotten to the point where I’ve said “Jesus, you know I’ve done all I can to understand and have more faith, if I’m still stuck perhaps it’s because Youre leaving me here, how can I build more faith if it is a gift”.
 
It’s interesting you mention this. Praying for the dead is actually one of my most common prayers and something I’ve felt an obligation to do since becoming Catholic. I’ve never noticed a correlation with whether it helps or hurts my negative feelings toward the faith.

However, I do not regularly attend funeral masses. I’ve only ever been to one and was not actively practicing at that time.
 
I am a huge fan of St Faustina’s Diary. I started it around April this year and finished in July. So many of her struggles reminded me so much of my own and for once I felt like I wasn’t alone in them. Often she would make comments that when I had made similar statements to Catholics I know before I’d been ridiculed for. I’m considering going through it again and maybe at an even slower pace. I do truly believe her intercession played a role in me fully coming back to the faith late this summer. I’m grateful she addresses such tough areas.
 
Oh wow, another St Faustina reference 🙂 I am so grateful to have read her diary this year. I think I will try adding this into my daily prayer.
 
I have felt the same way. I often question why I cannot as easily accept God’s love as true as others appear to accept it. I hate how hopeless it makes me feel about my faith life and salvation, especially when I’ve been trying so hard to live a more faithful life and it all feels… rather useless. I hope He sees my attempts and they have some value to Him… but I can’t say I’m sure.
 
it is a spiritual act of mercy. I sing with the choir at funerals as and when we are requested by the deceased’s family.
Its been very hard these past few months with my sister’s passing, to sing at funerals but have pushed myself to do so. The two songs that get me are Prayer to Saint Francis and Amazing Grace. I am seeing the prayer for the dead and the prayer for the family mourning in a new light, at funerals. Especially those mourning at funerals.

Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. 🙂 Praying with them at a funeral is a great way to comfort and support them.
 
I build my faith based on spiritual joy, spiritual rest, and spiritual peace. I follow St. Thomas Aquinas’ prescription for these (found here) which is based on Philippians 4:4-7.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let all men know your forbearance. The Lord is at hand. 6 Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
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St. Thomas says that “Rejoicing in the Lord” has four characteristics. First, “it must be right, this happens when it concerns the proper good of man, which is not something created, but God;” specifically, it is the nearness of God to us, as said by verse 5: “The Lord is at hand.”

Second, it is ideally continuous, but usually continual: “Rejoice always”. It can be interrupted by sin but one can always regain it, because, thirdly, rejoicing has many sources and many ways.
Thirdly, it should be multiple, for if you rejoice in God, you will rejoice in His incarnation: “I bring you good news of a great joy, which will come to all the people; for to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior” (Lk. 2: 10); and in your own activity: “When justice is done, it is a joy to the righteous” (Prov. 21:15); and in your contemplation: “Companionship with her has no bitterness” (Wis. 8:16). Again, if you rejoice in your good, you will be prepared to rejoice in the good of others; if you rejoice in the present, you are prepared to rejoice in the future; hence he says, “again I will say, rejoice.“
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Indeed, even with and because of sorrow and hardship one can still rejoice: see this article. And even more extremely, you can rejoice also because of your sins: “We are not saints who cry over our sins; we take delight in them because they serve to glorify the mercy of God” (St. Therese of Lisieux).

Fourth, we have to moderate our rejoicing and not let it be pleasure-flooded like worldly joy nor be drowned in worldly sadness. As verse 5 says, “Let all men know your forbearance.” This is because spiritual joy is meant to be our strength: “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:9). We use our joy to progress in spiritual work, like the beasts of burden we yoke. Just imagine what will happen if horses pulling a carriage or cattle pulling a yoke struggle and become wild, or, inversely, they become sick and weak.

“Man cannot live without joy. That is why one deprived of spiritual joys goes over to carnal pleasures” (St. Thomas Aquinas).

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After that, St. Thomas points out that since St. Paul wrote “Have no anxiety over anything,” our minds and hearts then must always be at rest.
It was fitting to add have no anxiety [solicitude] after saying that the Lord is at hand. As if to say: He will grant everything; hence there is no need to be anxious: “Do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall. put on” (Mt. 6:25).
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Again, there are four parts to this resting of the spirit. First, we have to pray: we acknowledge and lift our minds and hearts to God. Second,
it should be accompanied by confidence of obtaining, and this from God’s mercy: “We do not present our supplications before thee on the ground of our righteousness, but on the grounds of thy great mercy” (Dan. 9:18); therefore, he says, and supplication, which is an appeal to God’s grace and holiness.
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Third, someone who has not been grateful for past benefits does not deserve new ones, so St. Paul says “with thanksgiving”. Fourth, we ask for what we need: “let your requests be made known to God.”

By following all this, St Thomas says that, as St. Paul promised, “the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

So how do I remember all of this? It’s “EASY PARTS” or “EASY JET”

Spiritual Joy
  • Emmanuel: “God is with us”, the source of all of our joy
  • Always
  • Several ways and reasons to rejoice
  • Yoke our spiritual joy
Spiritual Rest
  • Praise and invoke God
  • Ask what we need
  • Repent for our sins
  • Thank Him for past benefits
  • Supplication: “Through our Lord…” or “For the sake of His sorrowful passion…” or “Lord Jesus, King of Mercy…”, whatever you deem fit.
Another way to remember Spiritual Rest
  • Jesus: Yeshua means “Savior”, invoking His name understanding what it means already includes the supplication we need.
  • Entreat our needs.
  • Thank Him for past benefits.
 
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When we were baptized, we were immersed in Christ’s death, with the hope that just as we died in Christ, we will also rise in him. Therefore, there is no reason to fear death, because we trust that he will rise us from the dead.

Whenever you feel afraid, try renewing your vow of faith in our resurrected Lord, reminding yourself that he died so that you would no longer need to fear anything, even if it leads to your death. This means don’t fear that fasting is a waste of time, or that you are missing out on pleasure seeing others engage in sexual immorality, or that other people will judge you harshly, or that your efforts are in vain, etc. It means don’t fear failing to live by the standard of living that Christ preaches and is the incarnation of, because just because you sinned now, doesn’t mean you cannot receive his forgiveness later.

God is in charge of your whole life, and just because the journey he sends you on seems painful and without meaning, doesn’t mean it doesn’t mean and lead to eternal life. Man judges by appearance, and what seems pleasant and worthwhile to him often leads to destruction and is in vain, while what seems unpleasant and in vain to him is actually the narrow path that leads to eternal life* We must let our faith in Christ and particular, faith in his promise of resurrection, guide our steps, and not our sight. We must let the truth of our faith crowd out the fear in our hearts, that following Christ to the point of losing things of this life is without any purpose and ultimately in vain, because everything we lose for his sake, he will give us back, including ultimately our own life by resurrection of the dead. Without this fear, we are able to offer ourselves completely to God even to painful death as a martyr, and share everything we have with our neighbor, especially our poor neighbor, even to the point of poverty, whether we mean poverty in money, in reputation, in knowledge, in comfort, etc.

Scheduled Prayer, especially the Rosary and the Divine Office, can really help soften our hearts to the Gospel, especially if we pray them when our stomach isn’t full or stuffed. I can’t emphasis this enough: so much of my depression has come from lack of focus in prayer and indulging too much in pleasures of the flesh (which unsurprisingly lead to more lack of focus in, and thus even avoiding of, prayer).

Hopefully something in my response helps you with your sufferings. God bless you, and never forget that God died so that you might live, regardless of your sins or poverty. He loves you simply, not because of anything you did or do, but simply because you are you.

"*"This shouldn’t be hard to grasp, since even the secular world tesifies to its truth: how many people feel like eating lots of junk food and sweets is good when we know it isn’t, especially in the long term, and how many people who realize this and try to eat healthily, but find it unpleasant despite it being necessary for good heath?
 
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Martin Luther struggled with this. He found the answer to this phenomenon which he called “despair” in the gospel. I would start there. For him, the breakthrough verse that started putting things together was Romans 1:17. You might start by reading Romans to understand the promises that God provides for us through faith. Would be glad to work through it with you.
 
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Edwyn said:
“We are not saints who cry over our sins; we take delight in them because they serve to glorify the mercy of God” (St. Therese of Lisieux).
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This sounds interesting. Can someone explain this to me?
 
Wow, thank you! This is all very helpful. I need to work on being more of the rejoicing type.
 
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