Burned out on life

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Phil_Marinus said:
Most of us at some stage has been where you are right now… I know I was… I was a shift worker for 13 years… I was doing 6 days or nights a week… with a screaming wife that didnt give me any space… i was just so tired of being tired… yep I know about it… its just something you get through… there are 3 things in life that every one should do…
ONE… 3 kids under 5
Code: 
    TWO..... shift work for at least 10 years...

   THREE...... own and run a small business.... shop, home improvement...... anything

  did'nt mention divorce did I....  well one of them.... and after all that you realise others have had things so much worse....
The main thing is this… buy your wife some roses… tell her you love her because she might feel bad as well and not tell you… hold hand when you go to the mall, buy her an ice cream, whisper in her ear …write her love note and leave them hidden so she will find then during the day… things like that… and buy the kids a ball tell them to chase it…
good luck it aint all bad.
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Definitely try these things with your wife - it will help you together to beat the situation.
 
TarkanAttila said:
May father, may he rest in peace, was a lot like you after my grandmother died, and when I and my sister were in high school. Worked all night. Drove me, my sister, and my mother everywhere (he did not trust mom with a car, long story). The last five years of his life were very stressful. He died at 57, because he was not getting enough sleep, and he had gotten sick. He died of a combination of things, probably most of all a broken heart, brought on my a broken family.

Hopefully you are in better straits than my father, but I hope also there is something to learn from his life. I think it’s probably this: don’t think you can take the whole world on your shoulders. Let some of it go, and relax. Don’t let it get to you. You’re not a bad father if you don’t get everything done by yourself - or even if you and your wife don’t get everything done. Your kids still love you.

Maybe… get the boys to do some light chores, like taking out the garbage, or take the laundry to the washroom, or wash dishes, for a buck or two?

Family Bible night? Read some stories our our fathers? That might entertain the kids, and you and the wife, too.
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I:thumbsup: This is a good story. We will keep your father in our prayers.
 
I apologize if I am saying the same things as others before me, but I didn’t take the time to read all of the replies. That said, I’ve been in a similar spot.
  1. Make sure to MAKE the time for YOU. Whether it be 1/2 hour to hour a day of reading, or going to the gym (great way of feeling better about everything, by the way).
  2. Find other little things to start making you feel better about yourself. For me, I was horrible at brushing my teeth every night and flossing. Didn’t floss at all, and almost never brushed my teeth before bed. I started to be certain that I did this. It sounds so little and dumb, but for me, it really made me feel like I was “taking control” or something. hard to explain, but it was a bunch of little things like this that I did that started me to focusing on becoming a better me and not letting myself slip even further into a depression, or to let myself “go”. I also was sure to keep the extra bedroom (which was my own little room with my books, clothes, etc.) clean at all times, clothes always put away the second they were out of the dryer, etc. I put a TV in there, so that when I needed an escape, I could go in there, turn on whatever I wanted to watch and just relax in my own little world or take a nap, or read for an hour. Things like this go a long, long way if you ask me.
  3. (And this should probably be listed as NUMBER ONE). It is apparent you love your kids, and want to be a great parent. However, make sure to MAKE THE TIME for just you and she. Find a sitter, find the kids’ friends families who will let you drop your kids off to spend the night with their friends…even a full weekend if possible… and MAKE THE DARNED TIME to go on a good old fashioned date night with your wife. You deserve it, she deserves it…and from the sounds of it, you BOTH need it. Simple quiet time alone rekindling the romance makes such a world of difference, not only in your relationship with your spouse, but it makes you, yourself just feel more complete.
  4. Remember why you are putting yourself through all of this now. Yes, its a big sacrifice, but in the end, the results will be well worth the sacrifice you are making now. It seems sometimes like all you do is work, school, pick up after others, etc. And for right now, that may be all that IS going on. That is what is kinda sounds like. But in the long story of your life, it will only have been a short chapter, one that led the way to bigger and better things and a more complete you.
  5. Finally, if you are really stretched to the end of your rope. Its not against the law to take a week off. Forget about it all. Get away or just play hookie at home and have some quiet time to catch up on the sleep, maybe get a little home project out of the way you have been planning on. Maybe just shut the world out for a week and get caught up on something you have been letting slide. Go fishing at your favorite lake for a couple of days. Anything. Do what you need to top off your tank so that you can complete the journey you have begun.
  6. And last but most certainly not least…never forget that your spouse is probably feeling something along these lines too. I have rarely known one person in a couple to go through stretches like this when the other spouse was in a “funk” of their own as well.
God bless and good luck. Hang in there, you’re gonna be fine. Just don’t forget that you and she need to have healthy minds, hearts, souls as well as bodies to push through times like this.
 
28562 said:
I’m sure we all go through this from time to time, so I’m interested in hearing how you deal with just being tired of the SSDD that is adult life…

Right now I am so tired of the mundaneness ( if that’s a word) of my life. Wake up, eat a crummy breakfast, take my daughter to school, go to college, come home for a couple hours, get on the boys for fighting, tearing stuff up, acting up, etc, eat lunch, see it wife for a little bit but can’t carry on a conversation because of kid interruptions, go to work until 2am, go home, sleep a few hours, do it again. I only get to really spend quality time at home on the weekends, but this is also the only time that I have to get anything done in the house or yard. I’m fed up with the kids because I spend so much time fixing broken toys or putting someone in timeout or telling someone to suck it up because they’ll live that I can never get anything accomplished. I’m fed up with not having enough quality time with my wife. I am struggling to keep up with everything at home, work, and all the work for all my classes, which is going to cause me to spend more time at school, compounding all the other issues. I’m tired of not being able to keep up, I’m tired of trying hard, I’m tired of struggling, I’m tired of trying to always stay strong and tough. I know this is just temporary and it’s the way it has to be for a while, so I need some tactics to help cope with running through the same boring, exhausting, no fun routine every day of my life.
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I am right there with you. I am absolutely BORED with life.
 
There was a man who thought his life was too much to bear, so he prayed to Jesus “lord, the cross is too heavy”. Jesus appeared to him and showed him a pile of crosses, and told him to choose one. He found the smallest one and picked it up, but realized he could bear more than that. Out of curiosity, he tried to pick up the largest one, and could not budge it. He started trying the crosses one by one. The light ones did not feel right, the heavy ones were too much. Finally he picked up a cross and it felt perfect. He said “thankyou Lord, for relieving my burdens”. Jesus told him of His love for him and left him with only the cross he had picked out. Then he examined the cross carefully and realized it was the same cross he started out with.
 
Thanks for all the advice guys… You have given me a lot to think about and there are definitely things that were mentioned that I will try. Plus, it feels better just to get it all out. Thanks a ton…
 
28562 said:
Thanks for all the advice guys… You have given me a lot to think about and there are definitely things that were mentioned that I will try. Plus, it feels better just to get it all out. Thanks a ton…
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thats why we are here
 
Make sure that you are getting the right nutrition and excercise. The first things to disapear when our lives get hectic are food and excercise, since we pick the easier options for both. We tend to focus externally on what needs to get done and ignore ourselves, which is a very bad habit. If you have to push other things aside to make time to fix this, then do it.

Also, you need to find a hobby or some other activity that you do for enjoyment. I know, I know…there’s no time for it. Make time. Not everything is going to get done. Letting yourself get burned out like this adversely affects what you do get done; your class performance will likely struggle and you won’t be focused at work.
 
28562 said:
Thanks for all the advice guys… You have given me a lot to think about and there are definitely things that were mentioned that I will try. Plus, it feels better just to get it all out. Thanks a ton…
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Count your blessings! At least you have a wife and kids! A lot of us (such as myself) are still waiting for them.

One of the big stressors on your list is college classes. Those will be gone soon enough and there are things you can do to make college get over with faster (CLEP in undergrad, externships in graduate, distance learning in both). You have a LOT to look forward to when that’s done with. Hang in there and take care of yourself.
 
tafan said:
There was a man who thought his life was too much to bear, so he prayed to Jesus “lord, the cross is too heavy”. Jesus appeared to him and showed him a pile of crosses, and told him to choose one. He found the smallest one and picked it up, but realized he could bear more than that. Out of curiosity, he tried to pick up the largest one, and could not budge it. He started trying the crosses one by one. The light ones did not feel right, the heavy ones were too much. Finally he picked up a cross and it felt perfect. He said “thankyou Lord, for relieving my burdens”. Jesus told him of His love for him and left him with only the cross he had picked out. Then he examined the cross carefully and realized it was the same cross he started out with.
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This is a wonderful answer - I would also say to remember to set aside 15-20 mins a day to pray - some time when you can be alone with God and not be interrupted. We can spend our entire lives trying to find the perfect day, or thinking that when we’ve finished our list of to-do’s that then we’ll be happy = that day won’t come - there’ll always be more to-dos and reasons why everything isn’t perfect; and even if we satisfied all our desires, we still wouldn’t find that deep peace, contentment and love that can only be found in prayer with God. We always should remember that everything, except God, is passing away. Don’t waste your time. God has already prepared the perfect day for us - we don’t have to do anything, just accept His invitation.
 
tafan said:
There was a man who thought his life was too much to bear, so he prayed to Jesus “lord, the cross is too heavy”. Jesus appeared to him and showed him a pile of crosses, and told him to choose one. He found the smallest one and picked it up, but realized he could bear more than that. Out of curiosity, he tried to pick up the largest one, and could not budge it. He started trying the crosses one by one. The light ones did not feel right, the heavy ones were too much. Finally he picked up a cross and it felt perfect. He said “thankyou Lord, for relieving my burdens”. Jesus told him of His love for him and left him with only the cross he had picked out. Then he examined the cross carefully and realized it was the same cross he started out with.
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Sure, at first a light cross would feel weird because I’m so used to losing and things not going my way and life being a female dog, but overtime the light cross would feel so good, such a nice change from the previous condition. Fitting in and having success would take some getting used to, though, that’s for sure. But God willing (not), I’m up for the challenge.
 
28562 said:
I’m sure we all go through this from time to time, so I’m interested in hearing how you deal with just being tired of the SSDD that is adult life…

Right now I am so tired of the mundaneness ( if that’s a word) of my life. Wake up, eat a crummy breakfast, take my daughter to school, go to college, come home for a couple hours, get on the boys for fighting, tearing stuff up, acting up, etc, eat lunch, see it wife for a little bit but can’t carry on a conversation because of kid interruptions, go to work until 2am, go home, sleep a few hours, do it again. I only get to really spend quality time at home on the weekends, but this is also the only time that I have to get anything done in the house or yard. I’m fed up with the kids because I spend so much time fixing broken toys or putting someone in timeout or telling someone to suck it up because they’ll live that I can never get anything accomplished. I’m fed up with not having enough quality time with my wife. I am struggling to keep up with everything at home, work, and all the work for all my classes, which is going to cause me to spend more time at school, compounding all the other issues. I’m tired of not being able to keep up, I’m tired of trying hard, I’m tired of struggling, I’m tired of trying to always stay strong and tough. I know this is just temporary and it’s the way it has to be for a while, so I need some tactics to help cope with running through the same boring, exhausting, no fun routine every day of my life.
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Thanks for all the advice guys… You have given me a lot to think about and there are definitely things that were mentioned that I will try. Plus, it feels better just to get it all out. Thanks a ton…
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I am glad that you had a good support from this thread. I didn’t read the replies but i hope you are seeking for a spiritual teacher from your parish to help you.

Most of all, when we feel something is missing, we simply forget that we are missing God. We get this bound with prayer and doing nice thing for others. Since you work so much and your free time is for your family, you could offer those sacrifice to God to save soul. I do this with my busy schedule and it helps me to put a value of something that i find so boring.

Blessings!
 
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