Camping with girlfriend

[dje101]

Hello all,

My friend showed me a camp ground here in Cali that I want to take my girlfriend to. It’s a very pretty campground, right by a lake. I’m thinking of taking her in June and proposing. My question is, would it be ok to share a tent with separate sleeping bags?

Derek

 

[E_7]

Hello all,
would it be ok to share a tent with separate sleeping bags?

Nope, not okay. Don’t share the tent. It’s like sleeping in the same bedroom but different beds, don’t. It’s like sharing the same hotel room but sleeping in different beds, don’t.

Get another tent.

 

[Schieffelin]

Not only should you not sleep in the same tent, you probably shouldn’t be going camping alone together. Why not make it a fun group weekend with some friends? Camping is more fun in a group anyway.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Not only should you not sleep in the same tent, you probably shouldn’t be going camping alone together. Why not make it a fun group weekend with some friends? Camping is more fun in a group anyway.

That sounds like a less than romantic way to propose. A fun weekend with friends isn’t exactly an appropriate time to snuggle up and fantasize about a future together. Besides, the friends might feel awkward having their whole trip be a setup to pop the question.

 

[EasterJoy]

It is hard enough to resist temptation if you avoid the obvious temptations! This is particularly true when you have stars dancing in your heads concerning the suddenly concrete nature of an upcoming wedding night. Engagement is a very tempting level of commitment.

If you want to have privacy when you propose in the wilderness, do it on a day hike. When it comes to sleeping arrangements, though, always keep yourselves well-chaperoned.

I probably would not propose during a weekend outing with friends, not unless you are already at the “just need to set the date” phase of your decision to marry each other. Otherwise, you’re going to worry enough that she will turn you down or that she’ll want some time to think the matter over without having a bunch of people around if her answer is not as immediate as you hope it will be.

She does need the room to do that, to ask for time to consider. If she is the prudent sort, she might well take that time even if her automatic inner response is to jump up and down screaming *“YES! YES! YES! OF COURSE, YES!!”. *

There should be as little pressure as possible, so she can give you the most unfettered “yes” possible. If you have a ring picked out, do not show it to her until she’s said “yes”, so that she’ll feel she does have that time to consider your proposal. This is for life. Do it right.

 

[ExGratia]

It is hard enough to resist temptation if you avoid the obvious temptations! This is particularly true when you have stars dancing in your heads concerning the suddenly concrete nature of an upcoming wedding night. Engagement is a very tempting level of commitment.

If you want to have privacy when you propose in the wilderness, do it on a day hike. When it comes to sleeping arrangements, though, always keep yourselves well-chaperoned.

 

[Schieffelin]

That sounds like a less than romantic way to propose. A fun weekend with friends isn’t exactly an appropriate time to snuggle up and fantasize about a future together. Besides, the friends might feel awkward having their whole trip be a setup to pop the question.

Oops, sorry - I missed the “propose” part The point still stands though. Find another romantic thing to do that doesn’t present a temptation to sin.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

Not only should you not sleep in the same tent, you probably shouldn’t be going camping alone together. Why not make it a fun group weekend with some friends? Camping is more fun in a group anyway.

I agree that camping in a group is fun, but it’s probably not conducive to something as intimate as a marriage proposal.

OP, I’m thinking about this as a woman. If a man proposed to me while we would be alone for two days I would feel uncomfortable even if I had every intention of accepting his proposal. It would seem to me that there was an assumption of immediate acceptance or else why would he risk being cooped up with a woman who might turn him down or tell him she needed some time to think about the offer?

If I did accept I’d want to tell my family and friends and show them my ring, not go swimming and hiking.

And if it were a man I didn’t want to marry, I can’t imagine how awkward the weekend outing would become. Obviously the trip would be over, but what would we say to each other on the long drive back to civilization?

No, honestly, I don’t think a camping trip is the ideal way to propose. Much better to take her on a picnic or scenic vista for the proposal. Maybe rent a hot air balloon for an hour?

Luna

 

[garn9173]

It is hard enough to resist temptation if you avoid the obvious temptations! This is particularly true when you have stars dancing in your heads concerning the suddenly concrete nature of an upcoming wedding night. Engagement is a very tempting level of commitment.

If you want to have privacy when you propose in the wilderness, do it on a day hike. When it comes to sleeping arrangements, though, always keep yourselves well-chaperoned.

I probably would not propose during a weekend outing with friends, not unless you are already at the “just need to set the date” phase of your decision to marry each other. Otherwise, you’re going to worry enough that she will turn you down or that she’ll want some time to think the matter over without having a bunch of people around if her answer is not as immediate as you hope it will be.

She does need the room to do that, to ask for time to consider. If she is the prudent sort, she might well take that time even if her automatic inner response is to jump up and down screaming *“YES! YES! YES! OF COURSE, YES!!”. *

There should be as little pressure as possible, so she can give you the most unfettered “yes” possible. If you have a ring picked out, do not show it to her until she’s said “yes”, so that she’ll feel she does have that time to consider your proposal. This is for life. Do it right.

Well-chaperoned? They are adults, not jr high kids going to a sleep over

That sounds like a less than romantic way to propose. A fun weekend with friends isn’t exactly an appropriate time to snuggle up and fantasize about a future together. Besides, the friends might feel awkward having their whole trip be a setup to pop the question.

What if it was a camping trip with mutual friends that they first met one another and they both love to camp?

 

[joshkt79]

Hello all,

My friend showed me a camp ground here in Cali that I want to take my girlfriend to. It’s a very pretty campground, right by a lake. I’m thinking of taking her in June and proposing. My question is, would it be ok to share a tent with separate sleeping bags?

Derek

If you strongly believe that nothing sexual will happen. I say go for it! You’re putting yourself in a situation to sin, but if you succeed in not sinning, then you’re a stronger person for it.

 

[Gertabelle]

If you strongly believe that nothing sexual will happen. I say go for it! You’re putting yourself in a situation to sin,** but if you succeed in not sinning**, then you’re a stronger person for it.

And if they don’t succeed???

Chaperone! I’m 44 years old, but I wouldn’t go away for the weekend alone with my boyfriend – group outings for overnight events or we don’t go at all. There is no way I would put myself in a situation with that much romance (i.e., temptation) and no safeguards. My relationship with Christ is just waaaaay too important to risk it.

Gertie

 

[EasterJoy]

Well-chaperoned? They are adults, not jr high kids going to a sleep over

I don’t mean it in the most restrictive sense, like in the old days when unmarried women of a certain social class did not even go out in public alone!

I did mean that if they’re going to have a “sleep over”, they’d do well to make sure they have someone around so that they will not be tempted to do anything in secret that they would not admit from a rooftop later. Adults, especially adults who are strongly attracted to each other, who think their will power has matured to the point that they are “too old” to need someone looking over their shoulder to stay on the straight and narrow are often disapointed to find that their “won’t power” doesn’t quite match their “will power.”

That is not to say they can’t be on the same camping trip. They shouldn’t be on a camping trip alone, though, and they shouldn’t be sharing a tent alone. I am assuming the OP wants to wait until marriage, since he bothered to post the question! It is much harder than it looks, the easiest time to say “no” is before the first time (yes!!! I said that!!! It is true!!!) and getting engaged does not make waiting any easier.

 

[cjmclark]

She does need the room to do that, to ask for time to consider. If she is the prudent sort, she might well take that time even if her automatic inner response is to jump up and down screaming *“YES! YES! YES! OF COURSE, YES!!”. *

There should be as little pressure as possible, so she can give you the most unfettered “yes” possible. If you have a ring picked out, do not show it to her until she’s said “yes”, so that she’ll feel she does have that time to consider your proposal. This is for life. Do it right.

I agree that camping in a group is fun, but it’s probably not conducive to something as intimate as a marriage proposal.

OP, I’m thinking about this as a woman. If a man proposed to me while we would be alone for two days I would feel uncomfortable even if I had every intention of accepting his proposal. It would seem to me that there was an assumption of immediate acceptance or else why would he risk being cooped up with a woman who might turn him down or tell him she needed some time to think about the offer?

If I did accept I’d want to tell my family and friends and show them my ring, not go swimming and hiking.

And if it were a man I didn’t want to marry, I can’t imagine how awkward the weekend outing would become. Obviously the trip would be over, but what would we say to each other on the long drive back to civilization?

No, honestly, I don’t think a camping trip is the ideal way to propose. Much better to take her on a picnic or scenic vista for the proposal. Maybe rent a hot air balloon for an hour?

Luna

Both of these.

Unless you are both in the stage of your relationship where a “yes” is absolutely a sure thing (which it sort of should be, Catholically speaking, if you’re proposing), you want here to feel as little pressure as possible. I always laugh when I see the down-on-one-knee-in-the-middle-of-a-fancy-restaurant or the ring-in-a-glass-of-champagne bit on TV or in movies because what if she’s not ready? Talk about awkward.

Of course you (the OP) are the only one here who knows your girlfriend’s personal proclivities…maybe she’s an outdoorsy type who would love the idea. But if she’s not, then maybe you should revisit the proposal scenario drawing board.

And yes, the Catholic answer in this case would be separate tents. This is about as emotionally charged a scenario as it gets, and the safest decision would be separate sleeping arrangements. No, I don’t think (as someone so eloquently put it in another thread) that their “genitals would be magnetically drawn together,” but I do think there is such a thing as recognizing a potentially dangerous situation (a near occasion of sin) and working preemptively to avoid it.

 

[yogicat]

Of course you (the OP) are the only one here who knows your girlfriend’s personal proclivities…maybe she’s an outdoorsy type who would love the idea. But if she’s not, then maybe you should revisit the proposal scenario drawing board.

Female here, and I would actually LOVE to be proposed to on a camping trip. As for the sleeping bag bit, it depends on how big your tent is? I believe that couples can sleep in the same area sin free, but only if they know themselves enough to know that they can resist temptation. The fact though, is that you had to ask this question. It makes me feel like you aren’t entirely sure if you can trust yourself, or she could trust herself, not to let the romance of the evening overtake. I would suggest separate tents - that way as well, you each have a place of privacy for changing and the like.

 

[dje101]

Hey everyone. So, when I posted the question, I totally forgot that my family is planning a camping trip for this summer, so I think that it would be better to go with them (and probably a bit more fun. As to the potential awkwardness that some mentioned that would result if she said no, I’m no really all that worried. We have been together for 4 years and hav discussed marriage quite a lot and are very excited about our future together.

 

[E_7]

Hey everyone. So, when I posted the question, I totally forgot that my family is planning a camping trip for this summer, so I think that it would be better to go with them (and probably a bit more fun. As to the potential awkwardness that some mentioned that would result if she said no, I’m no really all that worried. We have been together for 4 years and hav discussed marriage quite a lot and are very excited about our future together.

Sounds good.

 

[SummerSmiles]

I agree that camping in a group is fun, but it’s probably not conducive to something as intimate as a marriage proposal.

OP, I’m thinking about this as a woman. If a man proposed to me while we would be alone for two days I would feel uncomfortable even if I had every intention of accepting his proposal. It would seem to me that there was an assumption of immediate acceptance or else why would he risk being cooped up with a woman who might turn him down or tell him she needed some time to think about the offer?

If I did accept I’d want to tell my family and friends and show them my ring, not go swimming and hiking.

And if it were a man I didn’t want to marry, I can’t imagine how awkward the weekend outing would become. Obviously the trip would be over, but what would we say to each other on the long drive back to civilization?

No, honestly, I don’t think a camping trip is the ideal way to propose. Much better to take her on a picnic or scenic vista for the proposal. Maybe rent a hot air balloon for an hour?

Luna

As a woman, I agree!

I can see where, planning it in your head, it would seem like a fun exciting story to tell later. But in reality, if I were in that situation, I would probably feel uncomfortable, even if I planned on accepting the offer.

 

[revert_jen]

I believe that couples can sleep in the same area sin free, but only if they know themselves enough to know that they can resist temptation.

Nobody knows that they will be able to resist a future temptation. They only know that they have done it so far.

Putting yourself in a situation where you know you will be subjected to an unusual amount of temptation, such as the temptation to celebrate your new engagement in a sinful manner (incidentally making a REALLY bad start to your lives together), is dangerous.

It is a lot like an alcoholic going to a bar, getting drunk, and then saying “It’s not my fault, because you can’t expect me to go to a bar and not drink.” No, we expect you not to go into a bar if you’re an alcoholic, unless there is a serious reason that you have to go in.

That is why people are advising a day trip, separate tents, or having others along.

–Jen

 

[EasterJoy]

Hey everyone. So, when I posted the question, I totally forgot that my family is planning a camping trip for this summer, so I think that it would be better to go with them (and probably a bit more fun. As to the potential awkwardness that some mentioned that would result if she said no, I’m no really all that worried. We have been together for 4 years and hav discussed marriage quite a lot and are very excited about our future together.

Break a leg!

 

[Bookcat]

Choose another plan.

(near occasions…scandal…bears)